Patterico's Pontifications

2/12/2007

The Most Brutal Line In A Film Review I Have Read In Quite Some Time…

Filed under: General,Movies — Justin Levine @ 10:08 am



[posted  by Justin Levine]

In a past life, I actually used to be a film critic for a cool local rag known as the Beverly Hills Weekly. It was a great gig. Even if I knew that few people were actually reading my column, it was still the right people in terms of the show biz community if you know what I mean.  (Unfortunately, the paper’s website hasn’t archived its early past issues when I was writing for them). I always enjoyed reviewing bad films more than good ones. I felt that it brought out my best writing skills.

With that said, I could only dream of writing a line like this one from Pete Vonder Haar’s review of Eddie Murphy’s Norbit:

If I thought hijacking a plane carrying prints of the film and crashing it into Murphy’s house would put a stop to it, I’d go out and buy a box cutter right now.

Ooch!

[posted by Justin Levine]

12 Responses to “The Most Brutal Line In A Film Review I Have Read In Quite Some Time…”

  1. There is nothing on earth worse to be – or easier to be – than a critic.

    No offense.

    PB (c65bfa) — 2/12/2007 @ 10:35 am

  2. Murphy’s carreer peaked with “48 Hours” & “Beverly Hills Cop”.25 years ago he was a brilliant,talented young comedian,crude but genuinely funny.
    Now his humor revolves around fat,fart,poo & piss jokes that only 3rd graders find remotely funny.Yes,he’s funny in the Shrek movies,but he’s got a real character to work with,not his usual offensive & worn-out stereotypes.
    And yeah,I’m also amazed that bad movies do so well,the wife & I quit going to the movies (with rare exceptions) in the mid-90s (also the fact that we now live 25 miles from the nearest theater) & don’t miss it at all.

    Frantic Freddie (1474cf) — 2/12/2007 @ 10:55 am

  3. None taken PB. I just hope that nearly every blogger on Earth doesn’t take offense at the insult that you have leveled at them. After all, most blogging consists of criticism directed at various subjects. Your own comment is a case in point. Self loathing perhaps?

    The art of criticism doesn’t involve the core opinion, but rather the artistry in the writing. As the saying goes, “Opinions are like assholes. Everybody has one.” But that shouldn’t prevent people from striving to create and/or recognize great writing. Hopefully you will come to appreciate the distinction some day.

    Justin Levine (20f2b5) — 2/12/2007 @ 11:08 am

  4. Criticism is easy. Constructive criticism is hard.

    Yeah, Eddie Murphy should stick to movies written and directed by someone else, left to his own devices it’s just a repetition of worn out stereotypes. He can execute good material, but he can’t generate it.

    larry (336e87) — 2/12/2007 @ 11:18 am

  5. Justin, if you don’t mind my asking, how receptive is the BHWeekly to submissions from neophyte feature writers such as myself? They sound like the kind of venue that’s reasonably receptive to entry-level scribes trying to get their foot in the door of that kind of work…

    qdpsteve (cd214a) — 2/12/2007 @ 11:35 am

  6. Fair point Larry. But I would argue that “creative” criticism is also hard and worthy of publishing – even if it is not always constructive. Take a look at the best blog site for fashion criticism: http://www.gofugyourself.com

    Sometimes the criticism is constructive, sometimes it is simply scathing – but it is always ENTERTAINING for the reader. That is the point. The women who run that site not only have good fashion taste, they also happen to be great writers. That’s why the site is worthy of repeat visits, and why I think PB just doesn’t get it.

    Justin Levine (20f2b5) — 2/12/2007 @ 11:38 am

  7. qdpsteve –

    In the days I worked the BH Weekly, they would defintely be receptive to submissions. I’m not sure what there policy is these days though. Just keep in mind that they didn’t pay much when I worked for them. Plus, they concentrate on local (Beverly Hills) events, so your topics would generally need to reflect that.

    Bottom line – I have no idea what their submission policy is these days. But it couldn’t hurt to inquire.

    Justin Levine (20f2b5) — 2/12/2007 @ 11:41 am

  8. my all-time favorite movie review putdown: pauline kael discussing kevin costner in “dances with wolves”…
    “he had feathers in his hair, and feathers in his head.”

    assistant devil's advocate (70a559) — 2/12/2007 @ 11:49 am

  9. Good one A.D.A.

    I would also nominate this gem from Roger Ebert regarding Deuce Bigalow, European Gigolo –
    “Speaking in my official capacity as a Pulitzer Prize winner, Mr. Schneider, your movie sucks.”

    More context for this classic putdown here: http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20050811/REVIEWS/50725001

    Justin Levine (20f2b5) — 2/12/2007 @ 12:33 pm

  10. Mr Levine, that comes from the movie War Games, when the general in charge of NORAD tells the creator of WOPR (love that acronym for a war computer), that in his opinion, Dr Whatsis new defense syetem sucks.

    Best line in the whole movie.

    CPE1704TKS

    Dana (3e4784) — 2/12/2007 @ 2:02 pm

  11. I wish I could remember whom to credit for these, but I believe they were members of the Algonquin Round Table:

    “He ran the gamut of emotions from A to B.”

    “He played the King as though someone else were about to play the Ace.”

    “Last night he played Macbeth, and Macbeth lost.”

    McGehee (5664e1) — 2/13/2007 @ 4:38 pm


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