Patterico's Pontifications

12/6/2006

The L.A. Times Comes a Callin’

Filed under: Dog Trainer,General,Humor — Patterico @ 6:44 pm



The L.A. Times subscription people just called, as they often do around this time of the evening.

Lately, I handle this by putting the kids on the phone.

Tonight, Matthew (age 4) was on with them for over a minute, answering questions with a “yes” or a “no.” The conversation lasted so long, I started to worry that he was signing us up for a subscription.

We asked him later what he was talking about with the girl on the phone. “They were telling me so many things,” he said, “and they asked if my daddy was here and I said yes, but they didn’t hear me, so they asked me again.”

I won’t talk to them anyway. Finally, Mrs. P. took the phone and gave them a polite “No, thanks” — so I know for sure that we won’t see the paper on our doorstep tomorrow morning.

Whew . . . dodged a bullet there.

12 Responses to “The L.A. Times Comes a Callin’”

  1. Patrick–

    I have a different way of answering those poor blokes working for the “Lost Always” Times: I wouldn’t wrap the garbage with Times, because I’m afraid of being arrested for contaminating the garbage!!

    Mescalero (aaf3c5)

  2. The SMELL A TIMES must be losing aubcribers thats becuase their pet birds dont want that rag on the bottom of their cages

    krazy kagu (522a1c)

  3. The times will be here forever. There’s money to be made selling advertisments and making news in print, just not as much as there was twenty years ago.

    The Times just has to adjust quite a bit to a new environment. There’s a hell of a lot of money to be made by accepting reality and changing the paper from an attempt at up-to-date rushed AP lines to more of a responsible digest and discussion periodical with community information and advertisements.

    I don’t need the LA Times to tell me what the AP just found out ten minutes before the paper printed. Newspaper readers have access to up-to-the-minute information that self corrects, it’s practically shoved down our throughts on the internet, radio, and cable news. We read papers more to think than to become aware.

    Dustin (ea244e)

  4. On the national do-not-call list, so I don’t have to put up with that garbage.

    On the other hand, sometimes I do miss the calls. You’re in a bad mood, work got ya down, wife nagging, kids won’t shut up, etc. When you think you’re about to explode, and taking it out on the wife or kids will get you put in jail, the phone rings. Better than any therapy, and it’s free.

    Patterico, next time they call, use the opportunity to vent.

    Gerald (458d5b)

  5. That’s not fair, either, Gerald. I worked as a telemarketer selling newspaper subscriptions once (ok, it was a month) and I was amazed at how abusive people would be. I’d always had the philosophy that I said “no, thanks” quickly so they could move on to the next chump on the list, but after my experience, I only hope people are so polite. I had people go through the entire order process only to cancel at the last step just to mess with me. And I can’t understand why anyone would mess around talking to someone’s little kid, since you’re losing money the entire time.

    sharon (dfeb10)

  6. We read papers more to think than to become aware.

    Well put, Dustin. In reading the very sad coverage of the James Kim story, it became clear it was a point-by-point recap of how blogs and tech community advanced the story.

    That said, I don’t subscribe anymore. But nothing beats the newspaper with a cup of coffee.

    Vermont Neighbor (cd4d85)

  7. Sharon,

    What would you expect? Show up un-invited at my home, door or phone, it’s the same.

    Rank tele-marketers right up there with used car salesmen and trial lawyers.

    Gerald

    Gerald (458d5b)

  8. The thing is, I want to subscribe to the LA Times. I really enjoy reading a physical newspaper over coffee in the morning.

    But, much like giving my kid a time-out, I have to go the duration until the lesson has been learned, no matter the inconvenience to both of us. The LA Times is still on time-out.

    TakeFive (8f1d11)

  9. Speaking about telemarketers, this link just arrived, and it’s a very funny way one person handles unwanted calls.

    Edward Padgett (33f3c6)

  10. […] I could do like Patterico does… function wpopen (macagna) { window.open(macagna, ‘_blank’, ‘width=500,height=500,scrollbars=yes,status=yes’); } […]

    Pereiraville » fun with phone calls (3254dc)

  11. Here in Portland OR, the Oregonian apparently is in just as much pain as all the other big city papers. I don’t get phone calls from them, but a couple of times per month someone knocks on my door. The last time he wanted to give me a $25 voucher for a local super-store in exchange for trying the Sunday paper.

    Steven Den Beste (99cfa1)

  12. you should have a degree of control over your home telecommunications interface so that telemarketers never get through. absent that…
    four years old is not too young to learn how to abuse telemarketers. they deserve it! when the times calls, teach your kid to ask it…
    “why should i pay to read your liberal cant when i can read it for free on the internet?”
    when he’s ready for something a little more advanced of potentially general application…
    “i can’t talk long because i have to take a poop, but i do have one question. will you answer one question for me?”
    the telemarketer will typically say “yes.”
    “do you want to sell me a times subscription bad enough to let me poop on your face?”

    assistant devil's advocate (217c52)


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