Heard Around the New York Times Perrier Cooler
STAFFER: So, Bill, who do you like in the big game? Italy or France?
BILL KELLER: It does not sit well with me at all that you would ask that question. I am not agnostic or neutral on this issue. I enjoy many French wines and I have made numerous trips to Paris and the Riviera.
STAFFER: So you’re pulling for France.
BILL KELLER: I guess I would say if you’re under the impression that I’m neutral on the outcome of this upcoming game, or that I’m agnostic, that couldn’t be more wrong. I took four semesters of French in college. I dated a French girl at the Wharton school.
STAFFER: So you’re for France, then.
BILL KELLER: I’m — I’m not neutral in this.
STAFFER: Uh, OK. By the way, great story this morning on France’s secret strategy for the game. There’s no way Italy can lose now!
BILL KELLER: Thanks. It’s how the Founding Fathers would have wanted it.
Oh. Italy. By far.
actus (6234ee) — 7/9/2006 @ 10:41 amSTAFFER: Uh, OK. By the way, great story this morning on France’s secret strategy for the game. There’s no way Italy can lose now !
KELLER: Well, technically, it’s no longer a ‘secret’ strategy since everyone in Italy has read it in this morning’s papers. Besides, it never was a secret, since Italy knew all along that France would be trying to stop them from trying to score—duh !
Desert Rat (d8da01) — 7/9/2006 @ 5:37 pmWhy is Bill Keller so defensive about being perceived as “neutral” or “agnostic?” He and others at the NYT have nothing to worry about. They would have to do a lot of cheerleading of US forces in Iraq from now on to ever get to a neutral position. Am I questioning their patriotism? You bet your sweet ass.
scott (345803) — 7/10/2006 @ 4:30 pmUh, not funny.
By the way – do you have a problem with the French, like the rest of the winger crowd?
My french grandfather and great-grandfather died defending France in WWI and WWII respectively. They didn’t ‘surrender’ as all those French-hating fucking morons like to say.
But you sure sound all smart-like imitating Goldstein with your fake dialogues. Your fake, terribly written, obtuse dialogues.
Shorter Rightwing Arseholes (49460c) — 7/11/2006 @ 11:20 amFrench Fried:
Why would any loyal American have a problem with those cheese eating surrender monkeys? Especially since they lined up to kiss Saddam’s rear end and pocket all those lovely cash bribes the dictator was passing out to his toadies. Not to mention stalling in the UN so the Butcher of Baghdad could hide his WMD. Did French thieves think twice before snatching food from the mouths of starving Iraqi children?
No, they didn’t. Nor did the greedy jellyfish object when malicious charges against Lance Armstrong’s record of excellence in their sport were spread by chauvinistic and jealous frogs who couldn’t keep up. Heck, they even have rotten food, if it wasn’t already spoiled they wouldn’t have to cover it up with all those yucky overly seasoned sauces.
Black Jack (d8da01) — 7/11/2006 @ 12:33 pmSRA:
While individual Frenchmen were incredibly brave, the overall government that spent their lives were incredibly stupid.
Did you great grandfather die in La Bataille des Frontieres? Where hundreds of thousands of France’s best troops were simply thrown at machine guns in the course of carrying out a plan that was beyond stupid? So scandalously stupid that the figures were still kept classified in the late 1970s?
Or did he die at Verdun, where the French had denuded the keystone to the Western front, manning forts like Vaux and Douaumont with garrisons of tens or twenty poilu? Then spent tens of thousands more to take them back?
Or did he die during the great Nivelle Offensive, when French troops advanced baa-ing like sheep, knowing they were going to be slaughtered? Gutting what was left of the French army, and forcing them to rely upon les Americains to save the day?
Did your grandfather die thrown pointlessly into the Low Countries in 1940? Or was he one of the few to stand and fight in the Ardennes (because the French high command knew the Germans couldn’t traverse there)? Or did he die on the way to Paris, because DeGaulle wanted to beat the Communists in declaring a government?
(I’ll assume he died fighting for the Third Republic, and not for Vichy, which claimed to be the legitimate successor, and happily fought the Jooooosssss to defend “Travail, Familie,Patrie.”)
One may “hate” French policy, be disgusted with French government, and yet respect French soldiers’ courage.
Think of it as supporting the troops, but not the war.
Lurking Observer (ea88e8) — 7/11/2006 @ 12:39 pm