The lawyers in question are four floors apart in the same building, but couldn’t agree where to hold a freaking deposition. They are now ordered to resolve the dispute by playing “rock, paper, scissors.”

Then they have to go next door to the Starbucks, sit in the corner next to the half and half, and complete a five-minute “time-out.”

Okay, I made that last part up. But the first part was true. Here’s the order.

What do you want to bet one of them tries to use “dynamite“?

(Via Howard Bashman — who else?)

The L.A. Times ran a story yesterday complaining that a qualified judge was unseated by a candidate whom the editors obviously feel is less qualified:

The rare defeat of a highly regarded sitting judge ousted from the bench Tuesday by a bagel store owner who’d barely practiced law in the last decade sent a jolt through Los Angeles County legal circles, leading some to question whether the system to select judges needs overhauling.

Now, it may be true that the bagel-lady candidate was less qualified than the sitting judge who lost. And if that’s true, then on a small scale, that seems like a shame.

But in a larger sense, my reaction is: Boo-hoo.

Less qualified people beat more qualified people in elections all the time. I know more than one judge who ran against someone more qualified, but won because he or she had more money. In California’s recall election, Tom McClintock lost to Arnold Schwarzenegger. And if you think George W. Bush is the most qualified guy in the country to be the President, hand me some of what you’re smoking, because it must be awesome stuff.

Why did the paper pick this judge to write a sob story about?

And does all this really mean that we need to question whether the system to select politicians needs overhauling??

Sure, I’d prefer that better qualified people win elections. But when they don’t, the answer for them is: join the crowd.

And stop whining.

UPDATE: On reflection, it’s probably a bit harsh to say “stop whining.” My point is this: the less qualified candidate wins all the time. It’s not a good thing — but it’s a natural result of elections, because many voters just aren’t that informed.

I have a little follow-up story to yesterday’s post with videos of a police shooting. This is a story about how a police officer pointed a gun at me once.

I was in high school, in Fort Worth, Texas, and I had been out with a friend of mine named Tony. As we were headed back home, Tony announced that he wanted to smoke a cigarette. Rather than simply lighting up in the car like a normal person, Tony decided that he wanted to stop the car at a local park and go have a smoke. He parked the car in the parking lot, and we walked out to a children’s playground so Tony could have his cigarette.

As he smoked, we saw a police car pull up behind Tony’s car. An officer got out and walked up to Tony’s car. He shined his flashlight inside.

We didn’t know what the officer was up to, but we figured that we should let him know we were there. We walked towards the car and called out to him.

He whirled, drew his gun, and yelled for us to put our hands in the air.

And he pointed the gun right at us.

I have thought about that moment many times since. We later learned that the officer was looking for an armed robbery suspect. Lord knows what he was thinking when we called out to him. Lord knows what was going through his mind when he ordered us to show our hands.

Many times since that day, I have thought about that episode. I have been thankful for the officer’s training. I have thanked my lucky stars that he kept his composure and didn’t pull that trigger.

But you know something? When the officer told Tony and me to get our hands in the air — guess what we did?

We got our hands in the air.

Instantly.

A woman with a live maggot in her head.