Patterico's Pontifications


Anonymous Lawyer

Filed under: General,Humor,Law — Patterico @ 7:27 pm

Anonymous Lawyer, the online diary of a crusty hiring partner at a large California law firm, is one of the funniest blogs I have ever read. Here is a taste:

I’m not in a very good mood — I didn’t get a chance to play golf yesterday, I got an angry e-mail from a client, and my wife thinks I should mow the lawn myself while I think we should just hire someone to do it for us even if it costs more than it should — so I got into the office about a half-hour ago, and decided I’m going to make someone’s day miserable, just for fun. I decided today would be a good day to have an associate “update our relationship information” at some of my more important clients. Which means calling into them and making sure all of the same people still work there, and seeing if there are any problems brewing that they just hadn’t gotten a chance to come to us with. Trolling for business, basically — but also updating records and making sure everything’s fine. Because there’s a chance they’ll really have a legal question, I can’t have a paralegal do it. So I’ve got a sixth-year associate who — once she gets into the office — will spend about 12 hours today on the phone. I mean, it’s something that has to be done every so often. I’m not sure there’s any reason why it has to be done today. Or by this particular associate. But oh well, too bad for her.

The site is fiction, written by a third-year law student at Harvard. And there’s now a novel — with Howard Bashman running a contest for advance copies. Someone named Rory Miller (who, as it happens, I have met) will be getting an advance copy for coming up with the theme of the contest:

Keeping with the theme of the blog (and, I’m assuming, the novel), you should hold a contest where readers submit their own stories, true or false, of the most egregious and misanthropic behavior of a lawyer they’ve had to work under.

The contest will be judged on the sheer display of soulless hatred for the attorney’s fellow man.

Congratulations to Rory. Now go check out the blog. It’s genius.

UPDATE: Here’s more:

[W]henever someone has “mock trial” listed on their resume, I like to ask them if they enjoy being in a courtroom. Because if the answer’s yes, guess what? You’re not working here, because you’re not going to see a courtroom for four years. But if you’re on the “mock document review” team, you’ve got an offer on the spot.

So very true.

Bush’s Immigration Speech

Filed under: Immigration — Patterico @ 6:59 am

I didn’t see it. I was at the Magic Castle with Mrs. P., her relatives, and our friend Justin Levine. Allah has the reaction roundups, here, here, and here.

Let me know what you thought.

Help Justin Levine with his Legal Brief

Filed under: General — Patterico @ 6:57 am

My friend Justin Levine is representing Luke Ford in a defamation suit, and requests your input on his legal brief here.

The site “Tabloid Baby” says of Justin’s open-source approach to brief-writing: “Either the guy’s a genius who’s really onto something or he’s in over his head.” Knowing Justin as I do, it’s not the latter.

Give the genius some input. Show the world that he’s really on to something.

Better Yet, Call It “Donald Trump’s Very Private National Drive”

Filed under: General — Patterico @ 6:52 am

It’s not often I agree with Donald Trump. But count me among his supporters in this controversy:

Trump Drive Hits a Rough Patch

Mogul wants his name on a street at his Rancho Palos Verdes golf course. The city’s not sold.

He controls the chips. But they hold the trump card.

That’s the gist of the high-stakes card game being played in Rancho Palos Verdes as billionaire developer Donald Trump struggles to rename a street that leads to his new $250-million oceanfront golf course, Trump National Golf Club Los Angeles.

Trump wants city officials to change Ocean Trails Drive to Trump National Drive.

But some on the Palos Verdes Peninsula say they are already weary of the mogul’s push into their community and have suggested some alternative names: “Ego Aisle.” Or “Narcissism Lane.”

Why am I on the side of this egoistic puffhead? Simple:

Trump’s name on the street could inaccurately suggest that the golf course is private and dissuade people from using a city park and public hiking trails near the ocean, said Councilman Douglas Stern.

“It tips the balance of creating an aura of more of a private entrance and facility,” Stern said.

Speaking as someone who wants to see these trails remain uncrowded, I say:


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