iowahawk has found one of Tookie’s children’s stories:
Once upon a time, down a bright sunny alley behind a magical cottage in a faraway kingdom called Compton, lived a little quacky ducky named Tookie. Tookie was brave and strong and all of the other duckies knew to respect him, because otherwise Tookie and his friend Sammy Sawed-Off would mess you up bad, understand?
It goes on like that. One problem: the story doesn’t have a happy ending. Tookie lives.
Luckily, in real life, we’re going to get our happy ending for once, in less than an hour. (Actually, it’s not really “happy” — but it’s as close as you can get in a situation like this.) And that ending will teach children more about morality than two dozen children’s books from Tookie.
UPDATE: Tookie has been executed.
UPDATE x2: I respond to the liars and nutbags at Martini Republic here.