Patterico's Pontifications

11/12/2005

Everything Happens Only a Limited Number of Times

Filed under: Real Life — Patterico @ 9:02 pm



We are working diligently to get our condo ready to put on the market, which means clearing out the clutter. This is similar to packing: you go through a lot of old pictures, and objects that you have saved because you knew that they would stimulate good memories.

As I go through this tedious exercise, I find that I have this ache in the pit of my stomach most of the time. All these memories, coming all at once, are hard to take.

I realize that everything happens only a limited number of times.

As I place aside the jumper to give to the Salvation Army, I am reminded that, of course, my children are far too old to jump in it any longer. Their time to do that has come and gone. When I watched them jump in it, I didn’t think that such things would come to an end. But they have.

Everything happens only a limited number of times.

When we walk towards the King’s Head restaurant in Santa Monica, as we do almost every Friday night, one of my children always wants to run ahead with one parent, and hide from the other parent and child. But the day will come when that, too, will end. For one thing, when we move, it will be harder to get to the King’s Head in the first place. And those few times that we go, there will only be a few more times that they will want to play the hiding game.

One day, Christi and I will say: “Don’t you guys want to hide?” and they will both say: “No, Dad. No, Mom. That’s for little kids.”

You have to cherish these times. Because they happen only a limited number of times.

And then they’re gone.

12 Responses to “Everything Happens Only a Limited Number of Times”

  1. Take lotsa photos (not video) of your kids and their parents. It all goes by so fast….

    RMM

    Ruritania Militia Member (fe1d75)

  2. No way. These moments with your kids won’t be gone. They will become fond memories, to be replaced by equally wonderful moments and memories-to-be. As wonderful as it is to have little kids, it’s even better as they grow up.

    DRJ (15ed57)

  3. Beautifully said.

    RJN (c3a4a3)

  4. Concur with RJN. Spent way too much time away from home, sometimes months at a time, doing military things when my children were young. Now that we have our first grandchild I have the wonderful opportunity to try again.

    It is also nice when they grow up and become your equal as adults, though they still have much to learn.

    Have to keep working at not being a workaholic.

    Harry Arthur (b318a5)

  5. Didn’t you say you “traded up” when
    you bought your new house in Rancho
    Palos Verdes? If that’s true, why do
    you still have a condo to sell? Do
    you mean you haven’t sold the “old”
    principal residence yet?

    As for the family memories, yes, they
    are heartwarming and wonderful. But
    real estate is not.

    dose of reality (2dcd84)

  6. We have signed on a place but have not closed on it. I will say this: it’s actually a good thing that the moving process happens only a limited number of times. Because it’s a huge pain in the rear.

    Patterico (4e4b70)

  7. Believe me, I remember fondly the days when I could make my kids walk on the ceiling; now my older daughter is a senior in high school and wants to go to MIT, which will require as much as you are paying on the Palace on the Ocean in tuition!

    It sure was a lot cheaper when she was a little kid!

    Dana R. Pico (a071ac)

  8. Patterico – we’ve moved numerous times, cross-town and cross-country. We’ve used professional movers; and we’ve done it ourselves. We’ve moved with kids, and without. Number one rule – make your bed first (it’s a morale booster knowing you have some place to rest at the end of the day) then unpack the kitchen. Everything else falls into place. Each time we moved we figured we’d be there a while. So as to the idea that things only happen a limited number of times – well we simply don’t know how many times, and the mystery makes it worth the trip, doesn’t it?

    My girls are grown now and we are best friends. Sure I miss their small hands in mine, but their voices rise in chorus as we prepare the holiday meals, their hands work along side mine these days. And don’t get me started on how proud I am of them – not one professional achievement of mine compares to it.

    Your kids are beautiful at all ages and like a staircase you climb, the view only gets better at the top. (Although in the teenage years it’s a lot like their infancy – you have to be careful how you handle them or you’ll break their little necks!).

    Good luck on the move. Just remember that no matter where you go, there you are. 😉

    Kathy (59cee4)

  9. Savor and cherish each moment but remember there will be more and they will be different. Every day you’ll be glad you have them.
    Twenty years ago I was warned that it would go by fast. It did.

    “And the years fly by so quickly
    Like a flame before my eyes
    And you’ve grown into a woman
    Before I had time to realize”

    From “Run Home to Me” on Eric Clapton’s latest CD: “Back Home”

    Bruce Corigliano, MD (d84078)

  10. I listened to a woman at work complaining because the center was going to force her and her husband to wait six (6) weeks before they could put their baby into day care. I felt more sadness than outrage (though plenty of outrage). There aren’t any do-overs. They’ll never again have this chance. But it’s worse to think their baby will never have this chance.

    They have a ritzy house, though. But they’ll wait forever to hear their kids say, “God! Mom! I’m just SO GRATEFUL never to have seen you, but to have this string of great houses instead.”

    Simon Kenton (bfdffd)

  11. Patterico
    In Arthur C. Clarke’s ” Nine Billion Names of God”,a line says,”Overhead,for the last time-there’s always a last time for everything…”.Hadn’t thought of it in years.Nice to have this post on your blog.

    lincoln (763d26)

  12. I understand the pit of the stomach thing. When you go through all of it at once it’s like compressing years worth of memories into hours. Even if they’re good memories it’s exhausting.

    Sometimes it’s better to just move the boxes without going through them. Bad organizing but good sanity.

    Best of luck with everything.

    Teri (afca91)


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