10/18/2005

11 Responses to “You Are the Comedian”

1. The portly senator was forced to abandon his rescue effort when his Oldsmoboat nearly swamped in the rough seas.

   martin (fb2430) — 10/19/2005 @ 4:30 am

   
   

2. He saw a pint of gin in the drowning man’s backpocket.

   nk (956ea1) — 10/19/2005 @ 5:45 am

   
   

3. He stopped, did the girl remind him of someone? As a tear formed in the corner of his left eye, he slowly turned away and swam to shore.

   Black Jack (ee9fe2) — 10/19/2005 @ 7:24 am

   
   

4. Irony: Ted Kennedy Attempts Water Rescue

   Ted Kennedy attempts water rescue
   U.S. Sen. Edward M. Kennedy tried to save six fishermen stranded on a breakwater near the Kennedy compound yesterday, but had to turn back and hand the rescue off to the fire department.
   Kennedy called the Hyannis…

   Independent Sources (4f7430) — 10/19/2005 @ 8:40 am

   
   

5. The wily and wary senator saw the glint of steel as the fisherman reached for his harpoon. In the blink of any eye, the senator sounded and slipped beneath the waves.

   MrBill (0ca076) — 10/19/2005 @ 10:27 am

   
   

6. — WARNING —
   REALLY BAD PUNS AHEAD
   — WARNING —

   “Senator Kennedy expressed his distress at being unable to emancipate the seamen. However, during the drive home he learned that they were Harry Potter fans and said, “Pull over here and I’ll play the chaps at quidditch.”

   I. Ronnie (534807) — 10/19/2005 @ 11:18 am

   
   

7. now batting 0 for 2 lifetime

   craig (40dad5) — 10/19/2005 @ 11:32 am

   
   

8. Ted Kennedy was quoted after the incident: “Wow, this is so neat. You call the fire department and they help you with a water emergency! I sure wish I’d known that the last time I had one of these little problems! Names can be so confusing.”

   Doc Rampage (47be8d) — 10/19/2005 @ 3:44 pm

   
   

9. […] hat tip: Patterico […]

   Independent Sources » Blog Archive » Irony: Ted Kennedy Attempts Water Rescue (4f7430) — 10/19/2005 @ 8:08 pm

   
   

10. The fishermen in question suddenly lamented that they’d left their harpoon home.

    Cutler (f1706f) — 10/20/2005 @ 9:42 am

    
    

11. The fishermen realized they had drifted dangerously left.
    “Ahoy, mateys, it’s Massachusetts !!!!! We must away!” cried Captain Comm N. Senss.

    “Captain! What’s that thing in the water?” yelled one of the men, as a large bloviant object floated toward them on the storm-tossed sea. “It’s a whale . . . it’s an Oldsmobile . . . it’s . . . it’s . . . Teddy Kennedy ?????”

    Kennedy was then pelted with dead tuna till he turned tail and ran away. He waited 12 hours before informing the press. Yet he still smelled like, you know. Fishy.

    Laura (7ebf76) — 11/1/2005 @ 10:52 am