Doug Kern: really funny guy. Really good writer. The best columnist you’ve never heard of. He shows up at Tech Central Station about once a month, with gems like these:

“Seems to me, sir,” said Lieutenant Wayne, “that your definition of ‘cultural sensitivity’ is catching on among the locals. Why, just last week the local Islamicists rioted over the sacred precept of Getting The New Harry Potter Book at 50% Off Retail. And last month, after the fatwa about Digital Cable for All of Islam was issued, we had horrific bloodshed. And need I remind you about the vicious All Foreign Soldiers Must Wear Groucho Glasses riots of last year? Some cynics are saying that these cultural beliefs are less than authentic.”

Read the entire thing. You’ll chuckle.. He wins the Napier award, for best implied use of Lord Napier’s “it’s our custom to hang people who do that” riposte to relativism.