Patterico Works to Save Your Relationship
Females: pay attention, and never, ever, ever make the mistake this civil defendant made:
The summary judgment record, viewed in the light most favorable to the plaintiff, Coveney v. President & Trustees of the College of the Holy Cross, 388 Mass. 16, 17 (1983), establishes the following facts. The plaintiff and the defendant were in a long-term committed relationship. Early in the morning of September 24, 1994, they were engaged in consensual sexual intercourse. The plaintiff was lying on his back while the defendant was on top of him. The defendant’s body was secured in this position by the interlocking of her legs and the plaintiff’s legs. At some point, the defendant unilaterally decided to unlock her legs and place her feet on either side of the plaintiff’s abdomen for the purpose of increasing her stimulation. When the defendant changed her position, she did not think about the possibility of injury to the plaintiff. Shortly after taking this new position, the defendant landed awkwardly on the plaintiff, thereby causing him to suffer a penile fracture.
Yes, that’s my emphasis. You read that right. Those are two words I never want to be uttered in the same sentence as my name.
Although this was generally a position the couple had used before without incident, the defendant did vary slightly the position previously used, without prior specific discussion and without the explicit prior consent of the plaintiff. It is this variation that the plaintiff claims caused his injury. While the couple had practiced what the defendant described as “light bondage” during their intimate relations, there was no evidence of “light bondage” on this occasion.
I’m sure we all appreciate this level of detail. Now: why did the woman’s actions create enough of a problem to turn a “long-term committed relationship” into a lawsuit? The answer is simple:
The plaintiff’s injuries were serious and required emergency surgery. He has endured a painful and lengthy recovery. He has suffered from sexual dysfunction that neither medication nor counseling have been able to treat effectively.
My legs are currently crossed just thinking about this.
Ladies, save your long-term committed relationships. Take a lesson from this judicial decision. Don’t do these things “unilaterally.” Have that “prior specific discussion.” Get the “explicit prior consent of the plaintiff.”
And as the guy used to say on Hill Street Blues: let’s be careful out there.
(Via How Appealing.)