The Jury Talks Back


Enjoy My Latest Column Bashing the [Insert Pejorative Group Name Here]

Filed under: Uncategorized — Patterico @ 7:15 am

It’s Mad Libs Enraged Libs! Or: how to write that column when the deadline is in five minutes and you can’t think of anything new to say:

But what gets me is how these ____________(pejorative group name) are always trying to act like they’re better than us _______________(positive group name), the way they constantly _____________(disfavored activity). You know who I mean: people like ____________(disfavored person) and ______________(disfavored person). But in the end, all they are is _____________(pejorative group name) who do nothing but sit around and ____________(disfavored activity) and wouldn’t know how to ___________(favored activity) if _________________(favored person) took them by the hand and showed them. And no matter how much these ______________(pejorative group name) go to their cocktail parties in the Hamptons and ________________(disfavored activity), these ______________(pejorative group name) will never be as good as us __________(positve group name). The truth is that these ____________(pejorative group name) are jealous of ______________(favored person) because he is one of the ______________(positive group name) who really know how to _____________(favored activity). So buy my book and totally own these _______________(pejorative group name), make ____________(disfavored person) cry, and show all those ___________(pejorative group name) how we _____________(positive group name) act.

Select from the following:

Pejorative group names: pussies, twits, weenies, NeverTrumpers, dorks, Fredocons, sissies, weasels, posers, scolds
Positive group names: real conservatives, Normals, real men, good Republicans, unruly ruffians
Disfavored activities: sip Zima, sell cruise cabins, trash Donald Trump, lecture about morals
Favored activities: bang hot porn stars, fight dirty, destroy the left, own the libs and the pinkos
Disfavored persons: Ben Sasse, Jeff Flake, Bob Corker
Favored persons: Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump


  1. It’s odd how little things matter. I have gotten a dozen texts from Trump and his surrogates in recent weeks. I never donated so I assume Cruz sold/gave them his contact list. I have gone back and forth on voting for Cruz and I planned to vote for him after Kavanaugh but not now.

    Comment by DRJ — 10/26/2018 @ 8:47 am

  2. The alleged bomber is a Trump supporter. They have several things in common.

    Comment by DRJ — 10/26/2018 @ 10:14 am

  3. This upsets me.

    Comment by DRJ — 10/29/2018 @ 6:23 pm

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