Patterico's Pontifications

4/9/2018

Trump Tariff Tweets, Plus a Bold New Proposal for Protecting American Businesses

Filed under: General — Patterico @ 9:00 am



[Guest post by Troy the Legislator]

Hi! It’s me, Troy the Legislator! You might remember me from such bills as “Reducing Barack Obama’s Unsustainable Deficit Act” or “The Pension And Social Security Measuring Equivalence Permanent Linking of Everyone’s Actual Savings Environment Act”! I’m a Congressman from the heartland of America, and Patterico has invited me to do a guest post, to give you guys a little peek into how the legislative sausage is made! I hope you’re not eating breakfast! Some people get a little nauseated at first. It’s OK. You get used to it.

Let’s start with this morning’s tweet from our President, Donald J. Trump:

Nicely said, Mr. President! Sure, some eggheads who are out of touch with reality may argue that Chinese tariffs are just a tax that China puts on its own citizens, meaning Trump is complaining about how the Chinese government treats its own people. But how do you think that argument is going to play in Peoria? I can tell you the answer to that: not well! And I should know. Peoria is in my Congressional district!

Listen, even Elon Musk is in support of imposing tariffs on Chinese automobiles! And as a Congressman, let me tell you: when a rich guy with a Special Interest in legislation talks, I listen! Oh, hi, Elon! Yeah, just leave the envelope on the corner of the desk like usual. Is it all there? Good! See you next month!

Where was I? Oh yeah: tariffs. I say tariffs don’t go far enough. We need to do something about the Number One issue facing our economy: failing businesses.

Few people realize just how many Americans are put out of work when a business goes under. But according to these statistics that a lobbyist just handed me, 80% of businesses fail in their first year. Think of all the voters put out of work!

Sure, the eggheads say the businesses fail because they don’t provide goods or services to the public at a price the public is willing to pay. They say that without the “creative destruction” of businesses that nobody wants to use, resources will be tied up in terrible business models that use those resources inefficiently, resulting in a lower standard of living for everybody.

I say fooey to those eggheads! This is intolerable. Americans are being put out of work. We have to protect these businesses!

I’m just kind of spitballing here, so stay with me. This plan could change. How about bailing out every failing business with government money? Steve, go poll that while I explain it to the folks. We wouldn’t have to worry about the cost. The plan would probably pay for itself because when people stay at work, they earn money — and what do you think they do with that money? You guessed it! They spend it. And through the magic of this thing I heard about called the “multiplier,” we’ll actually come out ahead.

Whoops. Steve says my proposal sounds like a “bailout” and isn’t polling well. That’s OK, that’s why there’s always Plan B. How about we just force Americans to buy whatever goods the business is selling? For example, if it’s a hardware store, you just pass a law saying every citizen living within 20 miles has to buy $10 worth of goods from that store. Problem solved! Steve, run that over to the lawyers while I talk to the folks.

See, like Donald Trump, I believe that to Make America Great Again, you have to put business first. Working Americans need to know that the people in Washington have their back. Oh, here’s Steve with the legal analysis. OK, the eggheads say that making people buy stuff is unAmerican and unconstitutional — unless you call it a tax. Then it’s just fine.

OK, Plan C. How about, if a business is failing, we just put a huge tax on whatever its competitors are selling? That way, people have no choice but to buy from the failing and inefficient businesses! We can impose a bailout on behalf of businesses that can’t compete on their own, without calling it a bailout! And we can impose a huge tax that will bring in tons of revenue to fund my “fact-finding” trips to the Philippines! Go poll that, Steve!

Hang on one second. Steve is whispering in my ear. What is it, Steve?

Awesome! Steve says my proposal is basically what tariffs already are, and they poll great!

See? If we didn’t already have tariffs, someone like me would have to invent them! It’s the American way!

— Troy the Legislator

[Cross-posted at RedState and The Jury Talks Back.]

37 Responses to “Trump Tariff Tweets, Plus a Bold New Proposal for Protecting American Businesses”

  1. This harangue just makes sense.

    Dave (445e97)

  2. The piggy piggy united autoworkers get bailed out every few years already.

    President Trump wants them to sell more cars so they don’t have to beg for welfare all the time like extremely obese illiterate homeless people.

    This new approach is worth a shot I think.

    happyfeet (28a91b)

  3. Facebook needs to be killed.

    mg (9e54f8)

  4. Peoria’s Congressman is named Darin. Darin LaHood.
    Abraham Lincoln was its Congressman for a while but that was some time ago.
    So was Bob Michel.
    And Everett Dirksen, the guy attributed with “A billion here, a billion there, pretty soon you’re talking about real money”.

    nk (dbc370)

  5. Heh, I remember that, nk. If he could just see how the Washington pigs go through trillions now he’d cry. Now he was a decent Republican.

    Rev.Hoagie (1b0402)

  6. But wait, there’s more. Peoria does not make cars. What is its economy, major industries, and commercial activity? Answer: “Located at the center of a fertile agricultural region, with corn and soybeans as principal crops, Peoria is an important livestock and grain exporting market.” And that’s where the pushback against Mr. Trump the President’s tariffs is coming from. The farm states.

    nk (dbc370)

  7. The farm states are also empty quarters i.e. not as much electoral votes as those further east with larger industrial legacy and Illinois is vice grip D. Darrin LaHood is also much more conservative than his dad Ray LaHood, who was the token R Transportation Secretary in Obama’s first term cabinet.

    urbanleftbehind (5eecdb)

  8. What’s the conservative plan that addresses China’s widescale, egregious theft of American intellectual property and technology. How do we bring them to the table on this issue?

    Colonel Haiku (8c2b3a)

  9. Gasoline containing ethanol is especially subject to absorbing atmospheric moisture, then forming gums, solids, or two phases (a hydrocarbon phase floating on top of a water-alcohol phase).

    [Crikey] you corn pone perverts in the ag community. [Crikey] you right in your nasty diseased [dingos] in a house fire.

    papertiger (c8116c)

  10. So your modern vehicle is equipped with all sorts of dainties and delicates by prior administration’s communistik dictate and arm twists, especially designed to gum up and or corrode in the presence of minute amounts of moisture.

    papertiger (c8116c)

  11. Hungarian populist Viktor Orban wins new term, party super majority

    That’s the guy who built the Hungarian border wall to keep muslim rapists and infiltrators out of his country.

    Populist means politician with a mandate who Jeorge Soros doesn’t approve of.

    papertiger (c8116c)

  12. there’s literally no difference between what President Trump is doing and what past presidents have done in negotiating bilateral trade agreements, with the exception that he’s willing to use tariffs as part of the negotiation

    what is it about the results achieved by poor stupid drunkboy Bush and the fundamentally unamerican food stamp slut that succeeded him what are so wonderful that President Trump should embrace the same failed stratagems?

    happyfeet (28a91b)

  13. Maybe the dingo ate your soybeans.

    How about we give Cindy Crawford a barbwire tattoo and make her Secretary of Agriculture?

    Pinandpuller (ec7a2c)

  14. I’m bringing back CRP and China’s gonna pay for it. I wonder if CRP’s still around. It used to be in about 25% of rural real estate listings.

    Pinandpuller (ec7a2c)

  15. Americans have not come close to paying actual costs for goods and services – particularly from their government – in forever. The bubbles created to avoid paying basic costs have been decades in the making. It’s a matter of when, not if, they pop. Our currency will go the way of the Dodo bird. So, too, our fantastical standard of living. The full faith and credit of the USA? Yeah.

    Now add the incredibly disruptive labor efficiencies and disaster is afoot. The only real question, in my mind, is how soon do we choose, if we even have that choice, to take our castor oil of economic medicine? The more we delay, the more catastrophic the consequences. DJT, however inadvertently, may force long-delayed decisions.

    Me? I love (much too much to my detriment) easier and softer solutions. It seems the rising PRC and developing nations such as India are forcing us into a grim reality.

    One thing I would very much like the USA to do: Demand duty from all trading nations for the protections of the free flow of goods at market prices by our Navy and Air Force, and the projection and threat of force generally. Freedom isn’t free. Well, perhaps it’s just becoming more expensive.

    Ed from SFV (1752e1)

  16. Mr papertiger you might be making Mr Patterico’s point in that we are forced to drive out of our way for ethanol free gas paying a premium or buying additives to mitigate it. The additive industry is too big to fail!

    Pinandpuller (ec7a2c)

  17. Yes, yes Mr Ed from SFV, a blood for oil surcharge is in order.

    What happened to that Law of the Sea Treaty?

    Pinandpuller (ec7a2c)

  18. OT. Stormy weather; client tell: FBI raids offices of Trump lawyer Michael Cohen. Records seized.

    DCSCA (797bc0)

  19. They are closing in on him.

    AZ Bob (9a6ada)

  20. “Today the U.S. Attorney’s Office for the Southern District of New York executed a series of search warrants and seized the privileged communications between my client, Michael Cohen, and his clients,” Ryan told The Times. “I have been advised by federal prosecutors that the New York action is, in part, a referral by the Office of Special Counsel, Robert Mueller.

    Will the real national socialist please stand up…

    papertiger (c8116c)

  21. You have to hope Mueller is interested in an extortion charge, but I’m pretty sure he’s just wearing his brown shirt to office this morning.

    Why didn’t the rest of you lead with this raid being at the behest of Special Council Robert Mueller?

    Shame starting to get to you?

    papertiger (c8116c)

  22. 20.They are closing in on him.

    Red Line Monday; domestic and foreign.

    DCSCA (797bc0)

  23. President Pence welcomes Trials and Tribulations.

    Pinandpuller (d658b6)

  24. My wife says ICE is driving up avocado prices. Immigration enforcement or tax increase?

    Pinandpuller (d658b6)

  25. @25. Count your climate change.

    DCSCA (797bc0)

  26. I bought some ethanol free gasoline up in Wisconsin a few months back. I was actually shocked to find some. My poor truck didn’t know what to do with it. It was like giving cake to a diabetic.

    Marci (fbaa8c)

  27. You guys think there’s Russian taint between d*** Trump and a****** Pence.? President Pence don’t need recusal Sessions.

    You nevertrumpers think you defused the bomb lol?

    Pinandpuller (d658b6)

  28. The UK government could be on its way on agreeing a massive support package—dubbed a sector deal—with the North Sea oil and gas industry, the Scottish Secretary of State David Mundell told local Press and Journal.

    The package could be worth in excess of US$1.4 trillion (1 trillion pounds) over the next 17 years and, said Mundell, there was “every possibility” it will be agreed.

    The sector deals are an important part of the UK government’s industrial strategy announced last November and the oil and gas industry in the North Sea has been eager to take part in this strategy. This year alone, the industry said when making its case for the package, is on track to attract investments of US$5 billion this year alone, which should tip the scales in its favor.

    Another factor that would help the government make up its mind to provide financial support for the oil and gas industry is the UK’s growing dependence on natural gas imports, highlighted recently during a couple of unseasonal cold snaps that saw the UK resorting to Russian gas despite a political heat-up between the two countries.

    all a sudden tariffs don’t really seem all that crazy radical huh

    happyfeet (28a91b)

  29. That’s general shout out to nevertrumpers in The blogosphere not not trump Patteriquenos.

    Pinandpuller (d658b6)

  30. Climate change means avocados in TN and Paw Paws in Canada Mr DCSCA

    Pinandpuller (d658b6)

  31. Cohen has the outstanding student loan SWAT on his 6.

    Pinandpuller (c0ce4c)

  32. On the avocado front I found a variety of avocado that is hardy for Houston (for the most part that is). I think I’m going to get one since avocados are a staple in my diet. In five years I might be able to produce enough for a meal or two….

    Marci (fbaa8c)

  33. I had some avocado in a salad on Sunday. With cherry tomatoes, walnuts, a leafy green I did not recognize, and an olive oil and balsamic vinegar dressing. It went well with grilled lamb chops and cornbread.

    nk (dbc370)

  34. Troy the Legislator is real.

    http://baldersonforcongress.com/issues/

    Supporting President Trump
    Troy Balderson voted for Donald Trump and is a strong supporter of his administration. He will work with the president to drain the swamp and fight unfair trade practices hurting Ohio businesses and families.

    gwjd (032bef)

  35. @nk #34
    I have a full avocado every day. Favorite ways… well guacamole of course but in other forms it would be whole avocado halves filled with tuna or chicken salad. Or mashed avocado over sauteed green beans or asparagus. Most of the time though I simply deseed the green nugget of goodness and scoop it out and eat it with my eggs at breakfast… with crumbled bacon. Bacon. Rates #2 after avocados.

    Marci (fbaa8c)

  36. Yep. Y’know that smart lawyer, a real “legal beagle” – Have you ever wondered why he ain’t rich?
    He’s pretty good at manipulating words, but is seems when it comes to y’know making real money, he’s way back, in the middle of the pack.

    Why is that? Well, maybe its because making money is about understanding economics, business and complex nitty-gritty reality, not to mention stats and facts.

    As opposed to being snarky, talking about GRAND Principles, and playing word games.

    rcocean (a72eb2)


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