The Jury Talks Back


Prepare Yourself for the Best Spring Read Imaginable

Filed under: Uncategorized — JVW @ 9:53 pm

[guest post by JVW]

In less than one week, what is likely to be the most interesting read this spring — nay, make that for all of 2017 — will hit the bookstores. Shattered: Inside Hillary Clinton’s Doomed Campaign by Jonathan Allen and Amie Parnes promises to provide us with a backstage look at the magnificently glorious implosion of the Once and Future Inevitable Next President of the United States of America, Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton, Earlier today, The Hill ran an excerpt from the book that should have us salivating at the juicy gossip that awaits us. To whet your appetite, here are some great pulls from that excerpt:

Hillary was so mad she couldn’t think straight. She was supposed to be focused on the prep session for that night’s Univision debate in Miami, but a potent mix of exhaustion and exasperation bubbled up inside.

She’d been humiliated in the Michigan primary the night before, a loss that not only robbed her of a prime opportunity to put Bernie Sanders down for good but also exposed several of her weaknesses. [. . .] And now, Jake Sullivan, her de facto chief strategist, was giving her lip about the last answer she’d delivered in the prep session.

“That’s not very good,” Sullivan corrected.

“Really?” Hillary snapped back.

The room fell silent.

“Why don’t you do it?”

[. . . ] So for the next 30 minutes, there he was, pretending to be Hillary while she critiqued his performance.

Every time the Yale lawyer and former high school debate champ opened his mouth, Hillary cut him off. “That isn’t very good,” she’d say. “You can do better.” [. . .]

I’m sorry, but can’t all of you absolutely envision that entire scene, complete with the beta-males in her campaign walking on eggshells around her and Her Clintonic Majesty sneering and fuming as she rails at everyone in her orbit? And then some more:

In her ear the whole time, spurring her on to cast blame on others and never admit to anything, was her husband. Neither Clinton could accept the simple fact that Hillary had hamstrung her own campaign and dealt the most serious blow to her own presidential aspirations.

That state of denial would become more obvious than ever to her top aides and consultants during one conference call in the thick of the public discussion of her server. [The typical cast of Clintonian schmucks] were among the small coterie who huddled in Abedin’s mostly bare corner office overlooking the East River at the campaign’s Brooklyn headquarters. Hillary and Bill, who rarely visited, joined them by phone.

Hillary’s severe, controlled voice crackled through the line first. It carried the sound of a disappointed teacher or mother delivering a lecture before a whipping. That back end was left to Bill, who lashed out with abandon. Eyes cast downward, stomachs turning — both from the scare tactics and from their own revulsion at being chastised for Hillary’s failures — Hillary’s talented and accomplished team of professionals and loyalists simply took it. There was no arguing with Bill Clinton.

You haven’t buried this thing, the ruddy-cheeked former president rasped. You haven’t figured out how to get Hillary’s core message to the voters. This has been dragging on for months, he thundered, and nothing you’ve done has made a damn bit of difference. Voters want to hear about Hillary’s plans for the economy, and you’re not making that happen. Now, do your damn jobs.

“We got an ass-chewing,” one of the participants recalled months later.

My word, what I would have given to have witnessed those smug and entitled phonies and frauds being dressed down by King Sleaze His Loathsome Self! Can you imagine taking a verbal lashing from the likes of Bill Clinton and being so cowed that you dare not tell him where to shove his unsmoked cigar (no, Monica, I’m not talking about there)? Even as we quibble and kvetch about the mindless soap opera that the new administration is turning out to be, let’s all be thankful that this infamous band of horrible people were blessedly denied return access to the levers of state power.

Sometimes the pre-published excerpts from a book turn out to be the best bits, but I have a feeling there are going to be a lot more nuggets in this tome. Yeah, Jonathan Allen is an ex-Vox juiceboxer, but he does at least have the good sense to keep that item off of his author page. Amie Parnes is something of a enigma, having no biography page at amazon or The Hill. The two of them collaborated on a book about Hillary Clinton two years ago that appears to be quite a bit hagiographical, but stories of abject failure tend to bring out the curmudgeonly cynic in all of us, so here’s hoping that this book is everything that I believe it can be.

Maybe we can do an online book club when it comes out.



  1. No comments? Tsk, tsk, can’t have that. I’ll repost a portion of that debate prep incident that JVW left out:

    Hillary’s eyes narrowed into icy blue slits. As she crouched down, the slit on the outside of her right pant-suit leg gaped open. She drew the opened straight razor out of the top of her knee high. As she powered out of the crouch, Sullivan’s eyes widened in terror, but he was too frozen with fear to even put up his hands. The waning Bronx light flashed off the blade of the razor as Hillary rested its edge against his Adam’s apple. “Are you telling me I don’t know how to drive my point home, feller?”, she rasped.

    Comment by nk — 4/13/2017 @ 7:47 pm

  2. Ah well, thanks for trying nk. I’m surprised that so few people here are interested in reading the book. I guess that my sense of schadenfreude is far more acute than most.

    Comment by JVW — 4/13/2017 @ 9:49 pm

  3. And for the record, your addition both made me laugh and shudder. Impressive.

    Comment by JVW — 4/13/2017 @ 9:49 pm

  4. Thank you, JVW.

    Comment by nk — 4/14/2017 @ 5:27 am

  5. I think nk was doing a Frank Miller reboot of the Hillary book …

    Comment by SPQR — 4/14/2017 @ 11:25 am

  6. George G. Gilman (pseud. for Terry Harknett). His protagonists, Edge and Steele, power out of crouches a lot.

    Comment by nk — 4/14/2017 @ 3:17 pm

  7. You can strain a groin muscle doing that.

    Comment by SPQR — 4/15/2017 @ 10:54 am

  8. It is not a stretch to extrapolate from Bill Clinton’s tirade that he’s communicating ORDERS to COVER-UP crimes (in this case, Hillary’s).

    ” You haven’t buried this thing … You haven’t figured out how to get Hillary’s core message to the voters. This has been dragging on for months … nothing you’ve done has made a damn bit of difference.”

    The Clintons’ expect “the help” is to do anything necessary it to cover up their criminal/corrupt behavior.

    Comment by John — 4/15/2017 @ 11:51 am

  9. Red queen as talia al ghoul, plausible scenario.

    Comment by narciso — 4/16/2017 @ 4:45 pm

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