Hi, all. My thanks to Patterico for the opportunity to write here. I’ve spent some time away since the election reflecting on events and trying to regain some perspective. I’ve implicitly promised the boss man some “level-headed” thinking but it seems I need to exorcise a few demons first. Here goes:

Imagine my surprise when I received a solicitation from my friend, Senator John McCain. He Is starting a new organization called, naturally enough, “Country First”, and needs my help. I thought I was special, but it turns out that many, many people received the same plea. Hot Air has the text.

http://hotair.com/archives/2009/01/07/john-mccain-launches-his-country-first-pac/

I felt courtesy demanded a reply. Here it is, slightly amended (for language)from the original:

“Dear John,

Thank you for your lifetime of service to our country. No doubt it has been difficult for you. It was just this year that I learned of the full extent of your wartime injuries. Once I realized that you had only half an ass to give to the running of your campaign, I could no longer scorn, but only pity you. I’ve heard of people who couldn’t fight their way out of a paper bag, but never imagined supporting a candidate who couldn’t deflate an empty suit. As you have found, so too for me it is impossible to adequately express what I feel about your Presidential campaign.

I appreciate your request for help and interest in the ideas that motivate me. Better late than never, I guess. Six months ago I found your ideas intriguing and eagerly subscribed to your newsletter. Unfortunately, I will be unable to participate in your latest venture, not least because, as you surely are aware, Charter Memberships are better suited to country clubs than to the task of rebuilding ideological and intellectual capital out of the wreckage of the G.O.P. in your wake.

That said, there is one way in which we might still collaborate. I was heartened by your promise at the convention to “Name names.” If this offer still holds, I will pledge to send one hundred dollars ($100.00) to you for the outing of each and every lying backstabbing weasel on your staff who besmirched the good and loyal Sarah Palin in an effort to deflect attention from the woeful inadequacy of your campaign and your job performance as the Party standardbearer. From what I have seen, this offer stands to cost me a tidy sum. You may consider this your personal mini-bailout, despite the fact that you were not, apparently, too big to fail. It sure ain’t beer money, but then again, what is? Go on, John, “Make them famous”.

Truth be told, this was always a marriage of convenience, and it is time we go our separate ways. I can’t be your Goose, and I’ll no longer be your Tina. Perhaps you might better direct your efforts toward reconnecting with your natural base. I’m sure David Brooks would be interested in your reflections on Neibuhr.

I won’t be trite and say that it’s not you, it’s me. Quite frankly, it is you, John. Nonetheless, I bear you no ill will. And I would like to think that you are still “my friend”. Best wishes for your pending retirement to Sun City. Please do not contact me any more.”

There you go. Nothing particularly original, and thoroughly unfair. John McCain is a good man, and he has passed tests I don’t even have to take to know I’d fail. But, boy did that feel good!