Stop fixing it!!!!
This post could also be titled “Where did I put my effigy of George Lucas?” or “Scott proves what a complete geek he is”.
Seriously, wtf George? I just watched the “Green slave girl” scene from Return of the Jedi… You know, the part right before Chewie shows up, and we find out about the trap door to the Rancor pit…
The little green “harmonica” player I could forgive, but what the hell is with the rapping fraggle, and the jazz ensemble that plays now while the green chick tries to kill Jabba?
Since I’ve been told my swearing is bothering people, take a moment to imagine the profanities I would like to use, but shouldn’t. Now imagine them again, only louder, and with that vein on my forehead clearly visible.
Each time he tries to make these classics “more in line with his vision”, he rapes a little more of my childhood, stealing what little joy I still get from Star Wars. And it isn’t just the “fixes”, like Han not shooting first, or the replacement of Boba Fett’s original voice with the voice of the guy who played Jango Fett in the prequels. The “new” stuff from episodes one through three cause me to plot Lucas’s doom.
Midichlorians? Anakin built Threepio? JarJar? EMO VADER???
Leave Star Wars alone, you talentless hack! The crappiness of the new trilogy and his “creating” it (more like he crapped it out after a night of beans and tacos that were left out for a few days) proves he had not a single hand in writing the original trilogy. There’s no way he could create something as good as Ep IV thru VI, and write the crap-fest that is Ep I thru III…
Ok, I’m gonna go stomp around my house screaming obscene things, and hope my hate can cause George Lucas to burst into flame…
Han shot first.
Yeah, I hate the remakes, too.
And the swearing doesn’t really bother me.
–JRM
Comment by JRM — 11/30/2008 @ 8:56 pm
One of the latest books (a 9 part series that was masterfully done by three authors) actually had the line “Don’t worry, Han shot first”…
I frightened people on the bus when I started laughing…
Comment by Scott Jacobs — 11/30/2008 @ 9:08 pm
I thought that the latest Indiana Jones was pretty stupid also. Does Lucas need the money so badly that he is willing to butcher his classics? What’s next, American Graffiti: the Depends Years with Ron Howard and Harrison Ford driving Oldsmobiles to the Senior Citizens Center?
Comment by JVW — 11/30/2008 @ 11:06 pm
Somebody here told you that your swearing is bothering people? I like your swearing!
Comment by Not Rhetorical — 12/1/2008 @ 12:46 am
Much cinematic criticism I sense in you, Scott. Cinematic criticism leads to disappointment. Disappointment leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate is the path to the Dark Side.
Comment by nk — 12/1/2008 @ 4:27 am
First, go watch the two Robot Chicken Star Wars specials; I think they’re both available online. The first special redoes the “I am your father!” scene with Darth and Luke with a series of additional revelations by Darth. Luke’s final comment probably sums up the feeling of a lot of Star Wars fans. (Still, my all-time favorite line from the RCSW specials is, “What the hell is an Aluminum Falcon?”)
Second, download and read “The Secret History of Star Wars” (Google it; it’s a free PDF). It’s a long read, but it shows that Lucas’s penchant for rewriting history is not limited to mucking around with the movies themselves. ..bruce..
Comment by bfwebster — 12/1/2008 @ 6:00 am
I have seen and LOVED the two Robot Chicken rips on Star Wars.
“F*ck you, stripey bag…”
Comment by Scott Jacobs — 12/1/2008 @ 6:10 am
My Daughter took a course supposedly taught by Lucas at USC. He wasn’t there much.
Comment by PCD — 12/1/2008 @ 6:11 am
I’m shocked. Probably busy rolling around nude on his Pile. Of. Money.
And dreaming of ways to ruin other classics… Robot Chicken had a good bit about Jaws, and changes made (like Death Star explosion when the shark bites it).
Comment by Scott Jacobs — 12/1/2008 @ 6:28 am
I’m surprised no one’s made mention of the South Park episode detailing Lucas’s penchant for ‘reimaging’ his older works. “Free Hat”, I believe the episode was, and involved horrible directoral massacres of many of those films, with a funny ending straight out of “Raiders of the Lost Ark”.
Of course, the disappointment of Lucas’s newer works re: Indiana Jones led way to an even worse skewering by the South Park guys with “The China Problem”. I’ll let you read the Wikipedia review of the plot for that one.
Comment by Anon — 12/1/2008 @ 7:11 am
Two words: brain damage.
Comment by Kevin Murphy — 12/1/2008 @ 8:08 am
I am NOT!!
Comment by Scott Jacobs — 12/1/2008 @ 8:19 am
Scott,
It is very important that you keep saying to yourself: “It’s only a movie. It’s only a movie.”
And may the Force be with you.
Comment by nk — 12/1/2008 @ 11:52 am
I try that, and then I hear “Me-sah Jar Jar Binks” in my head, and I black out for a few minutes, only to come to and find I broke my desk…
Comment by Scott Jacobs — 12/1/2008 @ 11:53 am
Two Sith Lords there are, always. No more, no less. So whom will you eliminate? Patterico or DRJ? Or both and find a new apprentice?
Comment by nk — 12/1/2008 @ 12:13 pm
Try Ebay and buy the originals. Don’t watch anything else. Yes, I still watch tapes; this weekend I saw an ad for a tape-to-dvd converter. Seemed a little pricey at 100plus, though.
Comment by brobin — 12/1/2008 @ 4:22 pm
I have the “remastered” versions on VHS, and love them. Cleaner images, none of the added BS.
Comment by Scott Jacobs — 12/1/2008 @ 4:36 pm
Do you have the “original” original Star Wars where Jabba is a grungy Irishman?
Comment by nk — 12/1/2008 @ 5:27 pm
Nope. That scene in New Hope never made the final cut, and when the scene was added later, the digitally added a REALLY crappy Jabba…
Comment by Scott Jacobs — 12/1/2008 @ 5:33 pm
brobin:
Careful on those converters depending on what version of a tape you have. I got one as a gift for my family, who early on had a VCR recorder AND a VCR camcorder. Hundreds of tapes stuffed with memories, slowly being converted to DVD. However, some of our store-bought tapes, particularly with that Macrovision anti-copy tech, won’t copy with our converter. I think it’s an intentional safeguard, and said guard is probably in most VCR-to-DVD recorders, if not all western-built ones. So probably no luck doing a direct conversion of the tapes that way, unless you recorded it from HBO or something years back.
Comment by Anon — 12/2/2008 @ 7:13 am