Patterico's Pontifications



Filed under: Humor — DRJ @ 12:15 pm

[Guest post by DRJ]

From an email I received today:

After being married 25 years, one day I took a look at my wife and said, “Honey, do you realize 25 years ago, I had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10 inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25 year old blond. “Now, we have a nice house, a nice car, big bed and plasma screen TV, but I’m sleeping with a 50 year old woman. It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things!”

Now my wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 25 year old blond, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed …

I shut up and took out the trash. Aren’t older women great? They really know how to solve your mid-life crisis!



The Case of the Missing Beer

Filed under: Humor — DRJ @ 3:15 pm

[Guest post by DRJ]

Stone Brewing Co. makes beer but it also sells gourmet mustards made with its beer … until recently:

“I thought it was a joke at first, but Greg Koch, CEO of Escondido’s Stone Brewing Co., font of attitudinally challenged beers, assures me it’s not — two of Stone’s gourmet mustards, supposedly made with beer, were not.

The company hired to make Stone Cali-Belgique IPA Cali-Dijon Mustard and Stone Pale Ale Stone Ground Mustard with Chipotle Peppers did not include the beer, Koch said Monday. I had called Stone after being told that the company’s press release, issued last week, was not a promotional stunt. It was an infamous chapter in the annuals of zymurgy.

Koch said Stone supplied full kegs of beer, the kegs came back empty — but not because it was placed in the mustard.”

Keg Party!

Bradley J. Fikes and the Consumerist look into The Case of the Missing Beer in a post Bradley cleverly calls “Stone Brewing Says Supplier Didn’t Cut The Mustard.”



Who Moved Arizona?

Filed under: Humor — DRJ @ 9:13 am

[Guest post by DRJ]

Innocent Bystanders has our YouTube hit of the week:

Title credit: Dave in Texas, sort of.

H/T Eric Blair.



BP Spills Something Completely Different

Filed under: Humor — DRJ @ 9:41 pm

[Guest post by DRJ]

BP Spills Coffee

H/T qdpsteve.



Why iowahawk Opted Out of Draw Mohammed Day

Filed under: Humor — Patterico @ 7:01 am

Here are just a couple of the reasons:

Why I have opted out of this event? It depresses me that our culture has reached such a level of debasement that I feel compelled to list the reasons. Firstly, it is a well known codicil of Islamic law that visual depictions of their holy prophet (Peace Be Upon Him) are strictly prohibited. Like all religions we should respect their views, and the cartoons (which incidentally I have proudly refused to even glance at) seem only to cause hurt. Yes, they hurt the feeling of millions of Muslims. But, ultimately, they also hurt the misguided cartoonists who produce them. Because let’s face it: having a rusty scimitar hack through your neck can’t be a walk in the park.

Second, it violates my American sense of fair play. I firmly believe all religions deserve my respect — depending on how they respect me. Yes, it is true that in the past I have sometimes made fun of various world religious faiths: Christianity, Judaism, Hinduism, Buddism, Rastafari, Wicca, Scientology, Global Warmingism, that filthy cult of Wisconsin Synod Lutherans. Equally, without malice, and without issue. But trust me, once any of them starts emailing me credible violent death threats, I guarantee they’re gonna start challenging Islam for top spot in Dave’s weekly religion respect rankings.

Heh. I should note that there are people who did have valid and principled reasons not to participate, and so I don’t agree with any implicit message that people didn’t participate out of cowardice. But the guy is so funny, the way he words things, that I couldn’t pass up the chance to link it.


L.A. City Council Wishes Away Deficit

Filed under: Humor — Patterico @ 6:19 am

Funnyman Roy Rivenburg:

Acting decisively, L.A. city officials today adopted a strongly worded resolution that wishes the city’s budget deficit would “go away really soon, like in the next three months or so.”

More at the link, including unicorns. Congress is next.

Tiger Woods Has a Bulging What Now?

Filed under: Humor — Patterico @ 6:17 am

Oh, disk. With an “s.”

Strong (accidental) language warning:


SNL Hosted by Betty White

Filed under: Humor — DRJ @ 5:38 pm

[Guest post by DRJ]



Tomorrow’s Headlines

Filed under: Government,Humor — DRJ @ 8:59 pm

[Guest post by DRJ]

Doug Ross posts tomorrow’s national headlines today. (Although I doubt this financial data will be mentioned.)



Obama’s New Motto

Filed under: Humor,Obama — DRJ @ 3:20 pm

[Guest post by DRJ]

Adjective Dana on President Obama’s new motto:

“Veni, Vidi, Visa.”

Translation at the link.


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