[posted by Justin Levine]

We won the title back last year. Do we have what it takes to keep it? July 4th will tell.

ESPN is set to carry the epic event live that day starting at 9AM Pacific / Noon Eastern. 

Good luck Joey!

“One person told me that Bill said Obama would have to quote kiss my ass close quote, if he wants his support.”

[posted by Justin Levine]

This post is by guest blogger Justin Levine, and not by Patterico.

Due to the nature of my job, I get bombarded by various phone call inquiries and e-mails from PR firms trying to pitch guests for the show. I just got a notable pitch request that came across my in-box that I felt I had to share with you dear readers. I am omitting the name, phone number and e-mail of the contact person in order to protect the guilty (and to ensure that PR people can still feel comfortable pitching me submissions in the future - no matter what their perspective might be).

Text of e-mail [all links contained therein were provided in the original message that was sent to me]:

Subject: Story Idea Federal Judge Thinks Porn is Funny

Good Morning,

I was writing to let you know of an immediate media guest availability. Michael Leahy is an author and leading vocal critic of the porn industry and its effect on our country. Last week, a federal appellate judge was found to have uploaded explicit content on his website. He reportedly considers the content to be “funny.” A Nashville based action group is calling for Alex Kozinski’s resignation or impeachment. Michael Leahy weighs in on the controversy.

If you would like more information (more…)

Ever since I read at Hot Air that Bob Barr could be jeopardizing John McCain’s chances in Georgia and North Carolina, I have wanted to share this Borat video with you:

And here is a link to Barr grousing about it.

I know libertarians are often humorless, but isn’t this a bit much?

Close enough, anyway.

S.F. Gate columnist Mark Morford gives us one of the most nauseating paeans to Obama yet:

Barack Obama isn’t really one of us. Not in the normal way, anyway.

. . . .

Many spiritually advanced people I know (not coweringly religious, mind you, but deeply spiritual) identify Obama as a Lightworker, that rare kind of attuned being who has the ability to lead us not merely to new foreign policies or health care plans or whatnot, but who can actually help usher in a new way of being on the planet, of relating and connecting and engaging with this bizarre earthly experiment. These kinds of people actually help us evolve. They are philosophers and peacemakers of a very high order, and they speak not just to reason or emotion, but to the soul.

The unusual thing is, true Lightworkers almost never appear on such a brutal, spiritually demeaning stage as national politics. This is why Obama is so rare. And this why he is so often compared to Kennedy and Martin Luther King Jr., to those leaders in our culture whose stirring vibrations still resonate throughout our short history.

Amusing theories about where this nonsense came from at Mrs. Peel and doubleplusundead, who says it all derives from video games. [UPDATE: Well, not exactly, but sort of. doubleplusundead explains below in a comment.]

From our friends at The Nose on Your Face, an entertaining new sitcom starring Barack Obama:

From the L.A. Times Top of the Ticket blog: a picture that is worth a thousand words.

iowahawk does the parody — and kills trees in the process! Congratulations!

My kids — and, let’s be honest, my wife — are all obsessed with this Webkinz website.

Don’t ask me, I don’t understand it.

My five-year old was sick today. I stayed home with him in the afternoon. He was asking me how to spell our Webkinz password. I told him. He said: “Now I can get on Webkinz whenever I want!”

So he got a piece of blank paper from our desk drawer, knelt down on the floor, and wrote down the password.

Then he put the piece of paper next to the laptop.

When my wife got home, he said the darndest thing to her.

“I wrote down the password for Webkinz and put it next to the computer! And I’m going to leave it there until we’re all dead!”

Okay then!

[Guest post by DRJ]

Barack Obama has been called a uniter, not a divider, even though he has been unable to unite more than two-thirds of his own Party behind his candidacy and Hillary Clinton is vowing to continue.

Nevertheless, in the spirit of unity, here are some ideas from a March 15 Larry Elder article suggesting how Obama can unite Americans:

“Taxes: Barack Obama’s America blasts the Bush tax cuts for “unfairly” benefiting the rich. They intend to allow the Bush tax cuts to expire, with resulting higher taxes on income, capital gains and dividends.

The other America believes in limited government, low taxes, fewer regulations. They believe that individuals, rather than government, know how to best spend, save or invest their own money. This part of America feels that the Kennedy, Reagan and George W. Bush tax cuts actually benefited the economy by placing more capital in the hands of private actors, resulting in more jobs, greater productivity and higher net worth.

Obama’s solution: Shared sacrifice. If your last name begins with A through E, Obama will continue the Bush tax cuts. If your last name begins with F through L, Obama will allow the Bush tax cuts to expire. If your last name begins with M through Z, Obama will raise your taxes. Now the following fiscal year, those with last names beginning A through E face a tax increase. The F through L’s get the Bush tax cuts. And the L through Z’s will have their tax cuts expire. The next fiscal year, Obama will rearrange the cuts, depending, of course, on your last name, and will continue this rotation every year of his administration.

The Iraq war: Obama’s America considers the war a failure, a war that “never should have been authorized, and never should have been aged.” They feel the Iraq war makes Americans less safe, causes us to take our eye off the ball in Afghanistan, infuriates our allies, and uses funds better spent elsewhere.

The other America feels that, however we got into Iraq, leaving precipitously emboldens our enemies, creates a safe haven for terrorism, and gives Iran – an avowed enemy of America and a country pursuing nuclear weapons – a dangerous and destabilizing influence over oil-rich Iraq. This part of America believes we cannot in good conscience leave without ensuring Iraq’s stability because that would endanger our own. This part of America agrees with former Secretary of State James Baker, “[I]f we picked up and left right now, you would see the biggest civil war you’ve ever seen. Every neighboring country would be involved in there, doing its own thing, Turkey, Iran, Syria, you name it, and even our friends in the Gulf.”

Obama’s solution: Withdraw all troops by the year 2009. Then send them back in 2010, followed by their return to America in 2011, with another redeployment to Iraq in 2012. These on/off, every-other-year rotations would continue throughout his presidency. This satisfies those who want the troops home immediately. But it also appeases those who consider our national security dependent upon a military presence in Iraq. This policy also confuses our enemy, since they never know whether we are coming or going.”

Elder also offers solutions for Obama on health care and global warming. It’s funny stuff. Sometimes ideas are funniest when they are almost true.

– DRJ

[Guest post by DRJ]

Good news from the Readers’ Rep for those who use the LA Times for dog training and other pet purposes. In response to a reader’s question, the Rep advises that the LA Times is safe for rabbit bedding:

“And readers ask the darnedest questions. The question from Tom Tetzlaff of Lake Forest ended up being sent on behalf of his rabbit: “I’d heard that The Times was printed using soy ink … even the color photos? Obviously the inserts you don’t have complete control over. Need to know.”

The short answer: Yes.
***
Tetzlaff’s note of thanks for the link included a postscript. “Not to give you the impression that we don’t READ The Times (we do), we just wanted to know if our rabbit could make bedding out of it after we’re done with a copy. Another way of recycling.”

It’s not just a dog trainer. It’s recycling.

– DRJ

In an L.A. Times op-ed, Matthew DeBord has sartorial advice for General Petraeus:

Gen. David H. Petraeus may be as impressive a military professional as the United States has developed in recent years, but he could use some strategic advice on how to manage his sartorial PR. Witness his congressional testimony on the state of the war in Iraq. There he sits in elaborate Army regalia, four stars glistening on each shoulder, nine rows of colorful ribbons on his left breast, and various other medallions, brooches and patches scattered across the rest of the available real estate on his uniform. He even wears his name tag, a lone and incongruous hunk of cheap plastic in a region of pristine gilt, just in case the politicians aren’t sure who he is.

That’s a lot of martial bling, especially for an officer who hadn’t seen combat until five years ago. Unfortunately, brazen preening and “ribbon creep” among the Army’s modern-day upper crust have trumped the time-honored military virtues of humility, duty and personal reserve.

iowahawk found the first draft of DeBord’s op-ed in a dumpster behind a West Hollywood antique shop. A taste:

Gen. David H. Petraeus may be as fabulous a military professional as the United States has developed in recent years, but let’s face it, girlfriend - when it comes to the Fashion Theater, this showy soldier needs to call in the Makeover Marines. Oh snap!

Witness his congressional testimony on the state of the war in Iraq. There he sits in gaudy Army regalia, four stars glistening and glittering on each shoulder, nine camp rows of chintzy ribbons on his left breast, and various other brooches, patches and appliques scattered across the rest of the available real estate on his uniform. Talk about ‘fruit salad!’ Hel-loooo, General Garanimals: the 1950s called and they want their uniform back! To top it all off, the DC paparazzi photos show our dowdy doughboy sporting a name tag, a lone and incongruous hunk of cheap plastic in a region of pristine gilt. Looks like this ostentatious officer was playing hooky during West Point’s Accessorizing 101!

Heh. Read it all.