Yet Again, the Sporting World Is Rocked by a Doping Scandal
[guest post by JVW]
It’s getting to be so that all of our idols turn out to have feet of clay:
The World Bridge Federation says the world’s No. 1 bridge player has been suspended after failing a drug test.
The federation said on its website Friday that Geir Helgemo, who is Norwegian but represents Monaco in bridge events, tested positive for synthetic testosterone and female fertility drug clomifene at a World Bridge Series event in Orlando, Florida last September.
After accepting he had breached anti-doping rules, Helgemo was suspended by the WBF until Nov. 20. He also had all titles, medals and points from the 2018 World Bridge Series revoked.
Kari-Anne Opsal, president of the Norwegian Bridge Federation, said the drugs were “not performance enhancing.”
So, if you are like me — and Heavens to Betsy, I should sure hope you are not — you have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, this is certainly a let-down to the entire bridge community and could have significant ramifications for the cocktail nut and the fancy cracker industry. On the other hand, we can all rest easily that Mr. Helgemo — “Geir” has we have come to know and love him — was not using performance-enhancing drugs. There are a few other important things here to note:
* He tested positive for a female fertility drug.
* The World Bridge Federation does drug testing.
* The WBF is recognized by the International Olympic Committee because apparently one of these days we will be able to watch live Olympic bridge action on CNBC featuring Thailand vs. Bolivia.
* He is Norwegian but represents Monaco in international bridge, which might have led to a nuclear exchange between the two superpowers had cooler heads not prevailed.
If you are worried about whether or not this could affect Geir’s career, know that the Norwegian Bridge Federation is one-hundred percent behind him. Here is a quote from their president:
Geir Helgemo…has previously played for the Norwegian national team and is our biggest star. Many within the bridge community know Geir and respect him.
It is his responsibility not to take substances that are on the doping list, even though in this instance they are not performance enhancing in bridge. I feel for Geir in this situation and hope he will come back stronger … when his ban ends.
Watch out world: you haven’t seen the last of Geir Helgemo!
– JVW
I’m trying to figure out what would be a performance enhancing drug in bridge. Is there some kind of drug that gives you x-ray vision or telepathic powers I don’t know about? And where can I get some?
Jerryskids (702a61) — 3/2/2019 @ 9:08 pmWell, the weird thing is that it isn’t designated as “performance-enhancing,” so I am wondering if they aren’t just trying to clamp down on the notorious partying scene in the competitive bridge world.
JVW (54fd0b) — 3/2/2019 @ 9:14 pmAdderall maybe?
Nic (896fdf) — 3/2/2019 @ 9:14 pmIt’s getting to the point where so few cities are willing to host the World Championships of Bridge. I mean, it’s well known that every drug dealer within a 1000 mile radius (and many beyond that) will descend upon the city, and everyone knows that the host city is flooded with strippers and prostitutes for that week, so unless you want your city to turn into Gomorrah overnight once the bridge players arrive you had better say no to the hosting honor.
JVW (54fd0b) — 3/2/2019 @ 9:19 pmWhiskey Tango Foxtrot! Is nothing sacred?
Colonel Haiku (2601c0) — 3/2/2019 @ 9:23 pmAdderall might enhance performance.
Colonel Haiku (2601c0) — 3/2/2019 @ 9:26 pmCan the world get any stranger, hold my laager.
Narciso (bcb83f) — 3/2/2019 @ 9:41 pmYou know, the one saving grace about this whole mess is that it seems to have brought Norway and Monaco closer together. I mean, the guy is Norwegian but apparently turned his back on King Harald V in order to pledge allegiance to Prince Albert II, yet despite the barely-avoided nuclear exchange between the two nations — avoided largely because neither side is a nuclear power — there seems to be no lasting ill will since the president of the Norwegian Bridge Federation has come to Mr. Helgemo’s defense. If those two historic rivals can cooperate on matters as important as international bridge, perhaps there is hope for the rest of us.
JVW (54fd0b) — 3/2/2019 @ 10:33 pmI’m trying to figure out what would be a performance enhancing drug in bridge.
Both caffeine and nicotine come to mind. One of them is pretty common and the other one used to be. One keeps you awake and the other once sharpens concentration (it does some bad things, too, but that’s not the issue). Getting rid of smoking in bridge probably made things fairer, as one of the side-effects of tobacco was REDUCING the concentration of your opponents as they tried to breathe.
Kevin M (21ca15) — 3/2/2019 @ 10:55 pmAnd, for God’s sakes, he could have been transitioning sexes. Are they all transphobic bigots in the bridge world? And, he may be banned from men’s play, but what about women’s?
This is beyond stupid and shows that 1) there are too many lawyers, and 2) people listen to them.
Kevin M (21ca15) — 3/2/2019 @ 10:58 pmWhen I saw this, I check first to see if it was a parody site. Then I checked the calendar to see if March had slipped by without my notice.
Stupid is as stupid does.
Kevin M (21ca15) — 3/2/2019 @ 11:05 pmHa! I’m getting this everywhere. Quick hits:
1. It’s “Geir,” not “Gier.”
2. The WBF has done an amazing job of handling the cheating scandals, in the same way that CPAC is amazing. Those people are getting very stern warnings to not cheat quite so much. (The European courts are awful at this. I did perhaps 0.5 percent of the total work done on one of the recent cases.)
3. The WBF REALLY REALLY REALLY wants to be Olympics-accredited and sold their soul to get it. Or they would have, if they had one.
Bridge at the US level is run unevenly with sometimes-troubled leadership. At the world level, doubts about the performance of those running it disappear. They give perfect clarity to onlookers as to how good their performance is.
(I am good at bridge, and it’s a great game. I have a great deal of experience investigating bridge cheating. The doping rules for bridge are dumber than you think, and yes, that’s possible.)
JRM (c80289) — 3/2/2019 @ 11:15 pm1. It’s “Geir,” not “Gier.”
Whoops. Thanks. Fixed.
——-
Bridge at the US level is run unevenly with sometimes-troubled leadership.
You mean just like gymnastics, swimming, and track & field?
JVW (54fd0b) — 3/2/2019 @ 11:24 pm3. The WBF REALLY REALLY REALLY wants to be Olympics-accredited and sold their soul to get it. Or they would have, if they had one.
You know, I made a joke about people watching Olympic Bridge on TV, but when you stop to think about all of the hours that ESPN spends televising poker I guess it’s really not that much of a stretch. People will watch just about anything on TV these days apparently.
JVW (54fd0b) — 3/2/2019 @ 11:31 pmThe USA Pinochle coach could not be reached for comment.
mg (8cbc69) — 3/3/2019 @ 12:36 am‘Apollogies’ for going OT- Congratulations to the young, smart teams at NASA and SpaceX on the successful docking of the Dragon crew/Demo 1 spacecraft to this ISS just a few minutes ago. The video downlinks were absolutely stellar, with technical imagery that literally could double as outtakes from 2001: A Space Odyssey. Outstanding job; well done, kids.
A renaissance reminder on the very day Nine turns fifty.
March 3, 1969- half a century ago today- Apollo 9, one of the long forgotten Apollo spaceflights, yet essential if the U.S. was to reach the moon by the end of the 60’s – carried astronauts Jim McDivitt, Dave Scott and Rusty Schweickart, into Earth orbit on top of a Saturn V to test the complete Apollo spacecraft system. Most importantly it was the first crewed flight of the Lunar Module, ‘Spider’ in conjunction with the Command and Service Modules,’Gumdrop’ — and the first test of the ‘PLSS’- the Portable Life Support System; the spacesuit and backpack to be worn by American astronauts as they explored the moon. The flight was a success and all three crew members are still with us. The Apollo 9 command module is on display at the San Diego Air & Space Museum, and the crew will be attending a celebration there March 13, the 50th anniversary of their splashdown and recovery. A question certain to be asked: what was up with those red helmets?!
DCSCA (797bc0) — 3/3/2019 @ 3:41 amhttps://www.americanthinker.com/articles/2019/03/the_political_suicide_hotline_ringing_nonstop.html
Who are you never trumpers going to vote for? Burnee, Ganjakamala, Lieawatha, Spartacus, or one of your own- David Brooks?
mg (8cbc69) — 3/3/2019 @ 4:14 amIt’s not funny. Championship chess is in the same boat. It also put itself under the IOC and has to abide by the same banned substances list the IOC put together for athletes. The inescapable conclusion is that the IOC is muy chingado en la cabeza and the non-athletic organizations that join it twice as much.
nk (dbc370) — 3/3/2019 @ 6:15 amIs drinking ok when Curling?
mg (8cbc69) — 3/3/2019 @ 6:16 amCalm your pulse, DCSCA. There is nothing pioneering about Muskmelon’s glorified Mercury remakes, anymore than there is anything pioneering about his glorified golf carts. Now, if his rocket was docking at a refueling station orbiting Callisto on its way to Neptune, then we might be talking about something significant.
nk (dbc370) — 3/3/2019 @ 6:22 amWhy are we taking a canoe instead of a galleon back,
Narciso (3baf2a) — 3/3/2019 @ 7:06 amI would watch Olympic bridge. I assume it would be duplicate bridge.
DRJ (15874d) — 3/3/2019 @ 7:24 amWho are you never trumpers going to vote for? Burnee, Ganjakamala, Lieawatha, Spartacus, or one of your own- David Brooks?
This is so funny from the wing that calls Romney a communist. If the Dems ran Webb, I might think about it but the direction they are taking even Trump is better.
There is a niche left wide open in the ecosystem though.
Kevin M (21ca15) — 3/3/2019 @ 7:31 amWhat is the IOC position on biological men competing as women? It would actually matter in chess.
Kevin M (21ca15) — 3/3/2019 @ 7:34 amWhat is the IOC position on biological men competing as women?
I believe that the policy is still that secondary male or female characteristics are determinative, and not chromosomes.
nk (dbc370) — 3/3/2019 @ 7:42 am“Bridge club” is code for drug-infused orgies. It’s a dirty little secret. Good for them for cleaning up this dirty, corrupt avocation.
Paul Montagu (eab766) — 3/3/2019 @ 7:50 amI met her playing bridge down in North Soho
Colonel Haiku (2601c0) — 3/3/2019 @ 8:52 amWhere you drink champagne and it tastes just like Guinness beer
B-e-e-r beer
She walked up to me and she asked me to play
I asked her name and in a Norwegian voice she said, “Geir”
G-e-i-r, g-g-g-g Geir
Well, I’m not the dummy I’m a real square guy
But when she squeezed me tight she nearly broke my spine
Oh my Geir, g-g-g-g Geir
Well, I’m not dumb but I can’t understand
Why she walk like a woman and play bridge like a man
Colonel Haiku (2601c0) — 3/3/2019 @ 8:52 am
felipe (023cc9) — 3/3/2019 @ 9:30 amLOL! Well done.
These so-called female fertility hormones could be prostate medicine, you know that, right? (One of them even reverses male pattern baldness.) And human growth hormone and androgens are also given to old people who, for whatever reason, are wasting away? I thought that if there was one commentariat who would know these things, it would be this one.
nk (dbc370) — 3/3/2019 @ 9:32 amWhat is the IOC position on biological men competing as women?
The male-to-female competitor has to have low testosterone level and maintain it for an entire year before the competition.
JVW (54fd0b) — 3/3/2019 @ 9:56 amThese so-called female fertility hormones could be prostate medicine, you know that, right?
Could be, sure, but I am more familiar with them being used to mask steroids and other PEDs, as in the case with Manny Ramirez when he was playing for the Dodgers.
And human growth hormone and androgens are also given to old people who, for whatever reason, are wasting away? I thought that if there was one commentariat who would know these things, it would be this one.
Ouch.
JVW (54fd0b) — 3/3/2019 @ 9:58 amThe male-to-female competitor has to have low testosterone level and maintain it for an entire year before the competition.
I feel old, like so 20th Century.
nk (dbc370) — 3/3/2019 @ 10:30 am@20. Actually, it was quite pioneering, nk.
The docking procedure was fully automated; no ISS grapple necessary. Mercury had no such capabilities. Dragon crew has an integrated escape system permitting abort into orbit insertion; the Mercury escape tower ‘tractor’ system was jettisoned early in flight. The battery powered Mercury carried one slice of spam; the solar-powered Dragon can carry seven slabs.
And, of course, Mercury operated at about 100-120 miles up and was unable to maneuver beyond roll, pitch and yaw nor change its orbital plane once inserted into orbit. Dragon Crew can- and operates at 300 miles up. It’s a fine achievement for private enterprise and government agency cooperation. Clarke predicted it coming; we’re seeing it happen.
DCSCA (797bc0) — 3/3/2019 @ 12:46 pm@33. Postscript- oh yes, the SpaceX Dragon is reuseable; McDonnell’s Mercury was not.
DCSCA (797bc0) — 3/3/2019 @ 12:55 pm17. I know that wasn’t a serious question, but I’ll answer it as seriously as I can: If there is, as usual, a third candidate on the ballot in all 50 states, they will get my vote as happened in ’16. If there is not, then I will not vote the presidential ticket at all.
Gryph (08c844) — 3/3/2019 @ 1:45 pmNew A.G. Dumb Barr will be on a milk carton sooner than Idiot Sessions was. This deep stater is another reason this country should be run by hobo’s.
mg (8cbc69) — 3/3/2019 @ 1:55 pmI would venture to say all the street sh!tters in Cantafordya would be better congress critters than the ones in office today. Except Devon Nunez.
mg (8cbc69) — 3/3/2019 @ 1:58 pmNunes like 12:00pm, but plural. There’s probably a cooler and more correct Porto or Brazilian way to say it, but Noons is how I’ve heard it.
urbanleftbehind (c6bb2e) — 3/3/2019 @ 2:32 pmTrump/Pence vs Marx/Malthus vs ???
LOTS AND LOTS of room there. If credible.
Kevin M (21ca15) — 3/3/2019 @ 2:47 pmthe one on the left looks like perez Hilton,
https://legalinsurrection.com/2019/03/merkel-backs-student-led-climate-protests/
narciso (d1f714) — 3/3/2019 @ 3:09 pm38 – thanks. I find myself using mg phonics!!
mg (8cbc69) — 3/3/2019 @ 3:22 pmfrom my ear, Portuguese has several more consonant sounds,
narciso (d1f714) — 3/3/2019 @ 3:35 pmWell, my mother’s maiden name has a proper Spanish pronunciation with one of the “LL = Y” deals, but we in the family pronounce it as you would in English, pillow, yellow, etc.. That’s probably what’s at play with Devin, being from that great somewhat melting pot the Central Valley (at least on days VDH is in a good mood).
urbanleftbehind (c6bb2e) — 3/3/2019 @ 3:42 pmOT, but yeaaaaahhhhh! https://twitter.com/Will25TX/status/1102354205577220099?s=20
Colonel Haiku (2601c0) — 3/3/2019 @ 4:05 pmThis deep stater is another reason this country should be run by hobo’s.
mg (8cbc69) — 3/3/2019 @ 1:55 pm
Now that is funny.
felipe (023cc9) — 3/3/2019 @ 4:25 pmKnowing only a little Spanish and even less Portuguese, I find Brazilian pronounciation to be more sibilant, and apparently using pursed lips more often, than Spanish. (I have worked with several people from Brazil over the years, but don’t recall anyone from Portugal speaking it in my presence, so don’t know how that might differ. Nunes’s family, IIRC, derives from Iberia, not Brasil. My impressiin is that where Spanish uses a -, Portuguese uses an s. But there are apparently some great differences between Spanish and Portuguese. Spanish speakers usually say they don’t understand Portuguese, and Brazilians say the same in regard to Spanish.
Kishnevi (a321ca) — 3/3/2019 @ 7:42 pmMy impressiin is that where Spanish uses a -,
Should be
My impression is that where Spanish uses a z,
Kishnevi (a321ca) — 3/3/2019 @ 7:44 pmOne gets the gist, but it’s not as easy as one would thing,
Narciso (f56f90) — 3/3/2019 @ 7:48 pmActually, clomifene is also used to treat male infertility, and used (or abused) to boost testosterone levels and avoid estrogen side effects.
.
How It Works.
Criticas (304e6e) — 3/4/2019 @ 8:10 amI think that coffee – and maybe some forms of cheese – could be a performing enhancing drug in bridge – and chess, for that matter, but they are not against the rules. Also performance enhancing is getting just the right room temperature. (62 degrees Fahrenheit?)
Also just, over time, increasing your aerobic capacity. But if so, why is not what Geir Helgemo took a performance enhancing drug? It would be banned because it is potentially unsafe and you don’t everyone who wants to do better taking it.
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