Patterico's Pontifications

11/24/2016

Happy Thanksgiving

Filed under: General — Patterico @ 9:30 am



[The following is a post I wrote in 2006 that I often reprint on Thanksgiving. The message is muted if you’re going through tough times, but if you concentrate on the positive, I think it rings true. My daughter is now sixteen and will be leaving the house too soon. I would give anything to go back to when she was six — but someday, I know I would give anything to come back to today, while she’s still here. I hope you enjoy it. Happy Thanksgiving!]

I’ve discovered a way to bring a new perspective to your life.

To explain it, I have to tell a little story.

Driving home Friday night, I was remembering a time years ago, when my daughter Lauren (now six years old) was in her first year. An old friend of mine was coming to town, and we went with my wife to see a Glen Phillips solo acoustic concert down near San Diego.

We were very excited to see the show. But for some reason, we couldn’t get a babysitter. So we decided to take Lauren. Since it was just an acoustic show, we hoped that she’d sleep peacefully on my lap. If, during the show, she got upset, I would take her out to the car. Thereafter, my wife and I would take turns watching her in the car.

Lauren was asleep when the concert began — but she awoke, crying, five seconds into the first song. It was louder than we had thought it would be. I hurriedly took her to the car, which was parked on the street about half a block away.

Once I had her out there, I never brought her back inside the club. Although part of me wanted to be back inside watching the concert, I was also having fun being with my daughter — at times talking to her when she was awake, and at times watching her sleep. Plus, I wanted to let my wife see the whole concert. I figured there was no reason to interrupt her enjoyment if I was having a perfectly good time.

It wasn’t so much that I preferred to be with my daughter than to watch a concert. I just didn’t mind staying out with her in the car.

Thinking about this the other night, I asked myself: Patrick, if you could go back to that night, right now, and either stay out in the car with Lauren, or be inside and watch the concert — which would you do?

And of course the answer was obvious.

The night it happened, I didn’t mind being in the car with my daughter. But if I could go back now, there’s no question that I would want to be there.

Not only would I stay in the car with her — I would make the most of the experience, realizing that I had a precious chance to see her at that age again. I would try to commit every moment to memory.

And then I realized: some day, years in the future, I might be asking the same question about my life today — this very minute. If you could have this moment back to live over again, what would you do?

The rest of that evening, I pictured myself as having been sent into my body from the future, to relive the moments I was experiencing. And I saw everything differently. I sat on the couch and watched television with my arm around my wife — all the while imagining myself as an old man, transported back in time to relive that moment. And all of a sudden, what otherwise might have seemed like a mundane moment seemed like a privilege. I felt like the luckiest guy in the world, just sitting there with my wife.

I’ve tried the trick all weekend, and it really changes your outlook. Just sitting around with a sleepy child in your arms is great any way you look at it. But if you picture yourself as someone whose child has grown up — if you imagine yourself as an older man, who would give the world to be back in that chair with that child in his arms — it makes you realize how important the moment is. And you appreciate it more.

Like any epiphany, I know that this will pass, to be remembered only from time to time. I hope I remember it often, when routine is wearing on me.

But there are times I actively need to forget it, because this outlook promotes a sort of hedonism. For example, right now, I need to clean the house — but that’s not really what I would choose to do if I were sent here from the future.

Oh, well. I’m going to clean up anyway. I think the guy from the future would understand — sometimes, you just gotta do what you gotta do. I can hear my future self in my head right now. He says to make a nice cup of coffee and put on some music while I do it, and take some breaks to play with the kids. Enjoy the chores as well as the easy and fun moments, I hear him saying. Some day, you’ll miss even the chores. Some day, you’ll miss almost everything about your life the way it is right now.

[Cross-posted at RedState.]

19 Responses to “Happy Thanksgiving”

  1. yes yes yes cleaning the house is a very good choice especially when you know you’re coming home later from having probably too many cocktails, stinking of green bean casserole and hating yourself for saying no to pie

    what kind of moron says no to pie

    happyfeet (28a91b)

  2. Back at you.

    In passing, there were no white children or adults on the Sesame Street float in the Macy’s parade. But a cast member from ‘Hamilton‘ sang a cheerful tune.

    Pass the gravy.

    Happy Thanksgiving to all.

    DCSCA (797bc0)

  3. Happy Thanksgiving folks.

    Rev. Hoagie® (785e38)

  4. I have to regret, maybe, my obsession with this. But happy Thanksgiving to the troops, the cooks busting their @$$es fixing a holiday dinner, and really everyone.

    http://www.ibiblio.org/hyperwar/USN/ref/CookBook/index.html

    The

    COOK BOOK
    OF THE

    United States Navy
    BUREAU OF SUPPLIES AND ACCOUNTS
    NAVSANDA PUBLICATION No. 7
    [REVISED 1944]

    Steve57 (0b1dac)

  5. Amen! It all goes so fast, doesn’t it?

    Happy Thanksgiving to you, and to all your intrepid commenters here.

    Patricia (5fc097)

  6. Ummm… because you’re delicious and contribute to delicious sammiches for teh weekend!

    http://ace.mu.nu/archives/ath.jpeg

    Happy Thanksgiving!

    Colonel Haiku (2601c0)

  7. You ever notice how if you leave YouTube in auto play that within the space of four clips you’ll be watching a Craig Ferguson and the Ladies interview?

    papertiger (c8116c)

  8. Delicious. I’ve been called a lot of things. Never that.

    Steve57 (0b1dac)

  9. You’re a tough old bird, but you’re no turkey, Steve.

    Colonel Haiku (2601c0)

  10. You ever notice how if you leave YouTube in auto play that within the space of four clips you’ll be watching a Craig Ferguson and the Ladies interview?

    No.

    Mine ends up on Milton Friedman videos.

    But I think YouTube gravitates towards stuff it thinks you would like, based on your viewing history.

    Patterico (d8dcea)

  11. Greetings:

    I found Nathaniel Philbrick’s “Mayflower” a worthwhile read.

    11B40 (6abb5c)

  12. So just me then?

    papertiger (c8116c)

  13. You’re a tough old bird, but you’re no turkey, Steve.
    Colonel Haiku (2601c0) — 11/24/2016 @ 11:41 am

    With any luck I’ll die in harness.

    Steve57 (0b1dac)

  14. The older I get, the more I think about now-empty chairs at the Thanksgiving table.

    Enjoy friends and loved ones.

    Simon Jester (c63397)

  15. Simon, I didn’t used to take holidays off.

    Steve57 (0b1dac)

  16. Missing my turkeys.

    Beeper
    Larry
    Football
    and the Dude.

    The cats I can take em or leave em.

    papertiger (c8116c)

  17. Along the lines of the OP, take a look at this video:
    It is always now.

    -Gil

    Gil (0bf8a1)

  18. I rather liked this.

    Estarcarus (cd97e1)

  19. Happy belated turkey day Patrick… to all of you hug your kid, call that person you haven’t spoken to in a while.. I lost a young niece over the holiday. Things will never be the same. I’m going to take the future Patrick advice to heart.

    Carlos (fb2d03)


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