Patterico's Pontifications

11/22/2016

R.I.P. SEK

Filed under: General — Patterico @ 7:39 pm



At Lawyers, Guns, and Money, they have announced that Scott Eric Kaufman, otherwise known as SEK, has died. Apparently an illness this year turned into organ failure.

I first found SEK’s blog in December 2007, and recommended it in this post. I instantly thought it was hilarious. SEK had a real gift for writing about real-life situations in a humorous manner that expressed amazement at whatever bizarre situation happened to be unfolding before him at the time — and he seemed to genuinely encounter a lot of bizarre situations . . . like walking in on undergraduates having sex in his office, or the time his school applied $2640 to a $12.50 overdue library fine, and gave him a hard time about undoing it.

I never met SEK. Before he left Orange County for Louisiana, we had loose plans to meet for dinner, but it never happened. We talked on the phone a few times . . . which, I never quite understood how he did it, because he was deaf — but he had some device that made it work. He explained it to me, but I didn’t really understand it.

Our last interactions online were not terribly friendly, unfortunately. I don’t feel like revisiting the details. They weren’t ugly, exactly; just not . . . terribly friendly. I’m pretty sure that if he had not gotten sick, and you pointed me to the conversation, I would tell you I was right. But he did get sick, and he did die . . . and it leaves me thinking: that dispute wasn’t really all that important.

It’s a lesson I hope to remember.

Here’s the weird part. There’s this thing that happened somewhat recently. I can’t be sure exactly how long ago. I would estimate 4-6 weeks ago. I don’t know if it’s after he got sick or not. I don’t know how long he was sick.

I was taking the dog for a walk. My cell phone rang. I looked at it, and it said it was an incoming call from Scott Eric Kaufman. A lot of thoughts can go through your head in a short time. Hey, look, it’s Scott calling. Hey, we probably haven’t talked in years. It’s nice that he’s calling. I miss talking to him. I’d like to talk to him again. I picked up the phone on about the second ring, and said: “Hello?”

“Hello? Hello? Hello?”

But there was nobody there.

24 Responses to “R.I.P. SEK”

  1. I think I called back. I think.

    But I can’t remember for sure.

    I know part of me assumed it was what the kids call a “butt dial.” But I’m not sure if I decided that after I called back and he didn’t answer, or if I didn’t call back at all.

    There’s no calling him back now.

    I’m sorry, Scott.

    Patterico (115b1f)

  2. i was just thinking about him today cause of i think Mr. Instapundit linked Scott Barry Kaufman

    he was a good person

    from Louisiana originally I think (baton rouge?)

    had a wife

    happyfeet (28a91b)

  3. For a moment I thought you meant SEK3, who died 12 years ago.

    Sam was the only person I’ve ever met who was a genuine Holocaust denier, in other words not an antisemite who pretends not to believe in order to make excuses for Hitler but a principled skeptic who hated everything Hitler stood for, but simply would not believe anything without personally examining the evidence. When I found out that he also refused to believe that smoking causes lung cancer, I could no longer take offense at this.

    Every Worldcon he’d throw a dead dog party, which with his typical cheerful rancor he’d call a “dead crane party”, and he wouldn’t close it down until he’d personally checked that all the other parties were over.

    He was fun to argue with, and hard to hold a grudge against; Worldcon isn’t the same without him.

    Milhouse (40ca7b)

  4. I was mean to him, too. Now, I’m sorry. He was too young. May he rest in peace.

    nk (dbc370)

  5. He was brilliant and sure of himself. His blog was fun and interesting, and I’m glad he will keep that presence online. This must be incredibly difficult for his loved ones at his age.

    Dustin (ba94b2)

  6. I really really hate 2016

    SPQR (a3a747)

  7. Dustin,

    One of SEK’s last tweets mentioned he was in a hospital in Houston because it was near his parents. As I mentioned to Patterico, Its sad that during this season of Thanksgiving and the endless Vox-like index card pointers offered at various sites on how to deal with relatives at your holiday dinner who may have voted for Trump, the obvious is being ignored: Instead of preparing to convince loved ones that your political preferences are right, give thanks instead that your loved ones are still able to be with you. Living your thanksgiving is eternal, trying to make others talk about the election so you can “enlighten” them is just selfish. And it is to only focus on the temporal,

    SEK’s passing makes me think about that. His poor parents. This Thanksgiving, with broken hearts, they will only be able to long for just one more opportunity to have their son grace their table.

    Dana (d17a61)

  8. I searched through call logs online and found the call.

    October 4, 2016 at 6:25 p.m. Pacific.

    Incoming, one minute.

    Not returned.

    Patterico (115b1f)

  9. His last tweets were the day before, from the hospital:

    Patterico (115b1f)

  10. It doesn’t seem like a butt dial any more.

    Patterico (115b1f)

  11. I wouldn’t hold the less than pleasant last-few interactions against him. Sometimes an illness starts a lot earlier than people realize.

    Colossians 3

    14And over all these virtues put on love, which is the bond of perfect unity. 15Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, for to this you were called as members of one body. And be thankful.

    Steve57 (0b1dac)

  12. I am not holding it against him. I’m holding it against myself for not letting it go.

    Patterico (dbbb35)

  13. It still works. Either way.

    Steve57 (0b1dac)

  14. My father reached out to people before he died but I think what comforted him most was deciding that it was time to reach out. It was like cleaning house, mentally — putting things in final order and taking one more step to accepting death. Maybe deciding to reach out to you was the important part for him.

    DRJ (15874d)

  15. My condolences to his loving family. He was too young.

    DRJ (15874d)

  16. Ugh, you’re absolutely right. Our various squabbles about this and that are very minor compared to the joy we should take in making it through every glorious day and moving on to the next. Our time here is far too short.

    JVW (6e49ce)

  17. I remember SEK well. He could be a real jackwagon. There is a difference between thinking you are on the right path, and considering yourself Cosmically Correct™. Sowell’s “Vision of the Anointed” gives a nice overview of the problem. Most of it comes from surrounding yourself with folks who agree with you, like that “Bubble” skit on SNL. SEK clearly valued himself because of the “correctness” of his beliefs, and many people are like that. So he could be a challenge when he would try to tweak others.

    But one’s politics has very little do with their personal lives.

    My late mother was a saint (and if you know me, you know that her patience was legendary). She hated the Kennedys and expressed to me that she wasn’t sorry Ted Kennedy died of brain cancer.

    I told her to be more open minded: what about how his family and loved ones must feel?

    Silence.

    And finally, I asked her, didn’t death prevent Ted Kennedy from coming over to your own point of view?

    She laughed and agreed.

    So even people who are very unpleasant or nasty or call you names…well, it’s still sad when they pass away. It hurts their loved ones. There is no way further discussions could be had.

    Death is large, wrote Rilke.

    So my condolences to his family and friends. And Patrick, I knew SEK a little. He would tell you it was all good, about the phone call.

    Under our various masks, we are human, and many of us even humane.

    Simon Jester (c63397)

  18. Under our various masks, we are human, and many of us even humane.

    Simon Jester (c63397) — 11/23/2016 @ 9:31 am

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=160&v=415HQ1t2ZNI

    My DI, being human. Even, humane.

    You really had to meet him in person to understand this is him being nice.

    This Thanksgiving I will be thankful for not having to do it over again. And also thankful for having done it once.

    Steve57 (0b1dac)

  19. #17 Simon Jester, that’s really grand philosophy … maybe you should consider showing Mr happyfeet half the consideration you show Ted Kennedy.

    Cruz Supporter (102c9a)

  20. SEK would stand up for his ideas on the internet. He diddn’t expect special favors or consideration, like we’re family, and I’m sure happyfeet feels the same way. He certainly doesn’t act like we are special to him.

    DRJ (15874d)

  21. Surely you aren’t contemplating hf’s death, CS?

    DRJ (15874d)

  22. you are special like pickles

    i know this 100%

    and Mr. SEK was special too and we were friendly he emailed me to tell me he felt bad about how i was banned at guns and poses or whatevers

    all you guys are special cause of you’re engaged in a special way

    that’s why i don’t get mad even when people discover genuinely hurtful things to say on me

    and i only explain my thinkings on this maybe once a year

    (with any clarity)

    and they’re duly ignored

    i’m not really a manifesto guy you see so i throw it out there and just move on

    but maybe we need to revisit the whole first principles thing coming up soon?

    maybe after the noggerate?

    yes yes

    happyfeet (a037ad)

  23. Oh, I don’t know, CS.

    If someone is actively rude and insulting to someone I admire, I tend to act out on them.

    Your mileage may vary.

    My preference around here is a place where folks can exchange ideas without lots of silly turdlets distributed about.

    But that’s me.

    And if that is being “a hall monitor,” I would rather be that than the person throwing turds around.

    Again, its a free speech thing to me. Person A can be rude. I get to call them that.

    But here is the difference, CS. You have never, ever read a word from me celebrating someone’s disease or infirmity, have you? Or making fun of their personal appearance?

    You like some Mr. Feet. I seem to irritate you.

    It’s all good.

    People can choose to stay or leave. But….if Mr. Feet is going to be a jackwagon, why, I get to call him one.

    Happy Thanksgiving.

    Simon Jester (c63397)

  24. Here’s SEK critiquing a single line of script from ‘Deadwood’.
    It’s one of those weird lines that isn’t easily adapted to a blog or political discussion.
    Too prophane to repeat here, but he tackles it. Grabs it with a firm hand on the facemask, manhandles it, and forces it from the sideline to stay inbounds.

    Even drawing praise from Jim Beaver, the guy who played the part of Elsworth in the series.

    Gotta love that.

    papertiger (c8116c)


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