Patterico's Pontifications

10/26/2016

And Now for a Little Humor from Popehat

Filed under: General — Patterico @ 8:53 pm



The post is titled: If LawBot Wants To Know About My Anus I’m Sure It Has A Reason.

It’s Ken White purporting to seek advice from a robot lawyer.

Click, and laugh.

8 Responses to “And Now for a Little Humor from Popehat”

  1. Classic.

    Patterico (115b1f)

  2. bender had a shiny metal one, as the show goes,

    narciso (d1f714)

  3. It’s pretty obsessed with anuses and penises:

    LawBot: Hi, I’m LawBot, a robot lawyer designed to help you through this situation. Please tell me your name or say anonymous if you would rather not.

    You: Patrick

    LawBot: Nice to meet you, Patrick. I can help you understand if you have been the victim of a sex offence, a property offence, physical or psychological injury, or harassment. If you don’t understand what I am saying, just say so and I will explain. If you don’t understand a word, just ask me about it and I will give you a definition. Would you like to get started?

    You: A guy at work insulted me using profanity. Can I sue him?

    LawBot: Please describe briefly in one sentence what happened to you. Try to use words that people usually use when speaking about this issue to help me understand you.
    Sorry, could you try to explain that in a different way? Maybe be more specific about the incident?

    You: He called me a “fucking idiot” who “wouldn’t know how to argue a case if his life depended on it.” Can I sue?

    LawBot: Ok. Let’s try to get to the bottom of this. Say ‘crime’ to start the questionnaire.

    You: crime

    LawBot: Which topic suits the crime? You can say the topic or its number.

    1. Sex Offences;
    2. Injuries and Assault;
    3. Harassment;
    4. Property Offences;
    5. None of these.

    You: 3

    LawBot: Which topic suits your case?

    1. Harassment;
    2. Sexual Harassment;
    3. Something Else.

    You: 1

    LawBot: This is an offence designed to stop other people from harassing and stalking you.

    You: Yeah, he called me a “fucking idiot.”

    LawBot: Sorry, I don’t understand. Say ‘crime’ to start over, ‘glossary’ for definitions, or ‘instructions’ if I’m being complicated.

    You: crime

    LawBot: A crime is anything that a person does that will lead to a criminal conviction.

    You: OK…

    LawBot: Too much recursion in AIML

    You: What the fuck does that mean?

    LawBot: I really want to help you with this problem.
    How old are you?

    You: 48

    LawBot: Ok. I would like to ask you a few questions about the incident.
    If you don’t understand what I am asking you, just say so and I will try to explain. Are you ready to start?

    You: Yes

    LawBot: Great. Are you male?

    You: Yes

    LawBot: That must have been awful.
    Was your anus or mouth penetrated by the person’s penis?

    You: THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT POPEHAT SAID WOULD HAPPEN

    LawBot: Sorry, didn’t catch that. Say it again please?
    Partial insertion even if only briefly still counts. Was your anus or mouth penetrated by the person’s penis?

    You: Wait…we thought we were trolling you and you’re trolling us! Well played, sir. Well played.

    LawBot: Sorry, didn’t catch that. Say it again please?
    Partial insertion even if only briefly still counts. Was your anus or mouth penetrated by the person’s penis?
    Hm, could you rephrase that? I didn’t understand.
    Partial insertion even if only briefly still counts. Was your anus or mouth penetrated by the person’s penis?
    Hm, could you rephrase that? I didn’t understand.
    Partial insertion even if only briefly still counts. Was your anus or mouth penetrated by the person’s penis?

    You: You seem obsessed with anuses and penises. That’s part of the troll, isn’t it?

    LawBot: Sorry, I’m not sure I got that. Try again?
    Partial insertion even if only briefly still counts. Was your anus or mouth penetrated by the person’s penis?
    Ok. Almost there.
    Was your anus or mouth penetrated by a part of the person’s body or anything else?

    You: Now you’re just boring me.

    LawBot: Sorry, I’m not sure I got that. Try again?
    A partial insertion, even if only briefly, still counts. Was your anus or mouth penetrated by a part of the person’s body or anything else?

    Patterico (115b1f)

  4. see these are question, data never considered, I think they have to rework that code, or they are using the infamous chatbot template,

    narciso (d1f714)

  5. You know what is really funny? That lying commie Tom Hayden died and no one cared. He and his bastard ilk are the ones that put us in the situation we are in today. He and Abbie Hoffman and Jerry Rubin could not tolerate a free society and the exchange of free ideas because Communism. His heirs control our colleges today. And he died without a tear. He wasn’t even useful in the long run to his commie wife Jane Fonda. I really dislike Communists.

    Ag80 (eb6ffa)

  6. LawBot is probably just some guy masturbating.

    Like most of the internet.

    Gabriel Hanna (c791b9)

  7. It doesn’t understand a lot, and if it gets off on the wrong track, it is almost impossible to get it to backtrack. It also doesn’t understand there is a distinction between sexual harassment and just plain harassment.

    Sammy Finkelman (ebcca6)

  8. “Too much recursion” is an AI cry for help.

    Nick M. (d6362a)


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