Patterico's Pontifications

6/14/2016

Chris Christie Now Fetching Donald Trump’s Shinebox French Fries

Filed under: General — Patterico @ 8:14 am



New Yorker:

After the meeting, Trump and Ryan issued a perfunctory statement declaring it “a very positive step toward unification,” but Ryan declined to issue a formal endorsement. Trump had put countless Republican lawmakers in excruciating political predicaments. Senator John McCain, who told me last summer that Trump had “fired up the crazies,” now needs Trump’s voters to support his own reëlection in Arizona—a state that Trump won by twenty-two percentage points in the primaries—and has said that he will support him. Marco Rubio, whose last days as a Presidential candidate were spent mocking the size of Trump’s hands and the orange hue of his face, recently apologized for the personal attacks, and said that he would speak on Trump’s behalf at the Convention. Governor Chris Christie, of New Jersey, another of Trump’s opponents early in the campaign, has transformed himself into a sort of manservant, who is constantly with Trump at events. (One Republican told me that a friend of his on the Trump campaign used Snapchat to send him a video of Christie fetching Trump’s McDonald’s order.)

No matter where your politics lie, or how you feel about the vote in November, I think we can all come together and laugh at Chris Christie.

54 Responses to “Chris Christie Now Fetching Donald Trump’s Shinebox French Fries”

  1. It’s hard to explain the joy I feel in watching Trump humiliate those who abase themselves to him. It’s the satisfaction imperfect humans feel upon seeing a richly deserved punishment meted out.

    Patterico (fb172b)

  2. You have to admit, he would cover the back or the side pretty well. If Huckabee gains back his old weight, he might be COS or Sec of State just to keep all the possible angles blocked.

    urbanleftbehind (5eecdb)

  3. It’s such a comedown for Christie. I remember him years ago at press conferences, being sharp and witty and concise and acute and aggressive, all in a good way, and I thought This guy’s got potential. But what happened? It’s sort of like looking on in horror as Sinead O’Connor goes about ruining what could have been a brilliant career.

    hunson abedeer (cacaf3)

  4. lol

    pikachu is sososo jealous

    he would have brought mr sir donald a very very happymeal

    trumpyfeet (c8876d)

  5. What a man will go through to have a chance at becoming vice president.

    He only has to do this for another six weeks.

    Sammy Finkelman (be1e2f)

  6. Christie is happy to fetch the fast food, it gives him a chance to gobble a few burgers on the sly. Fat guys aren’t humiliated to make the food run, they’re glad for the opportunity.

    ropelight (596f46)

  7. don’t worry poopers

    even if things end up a bit too heavy

    we’ll all float on alright

    happyfeet (a037ad)

  8. The fries usually have a couple that are in danger of falling out of the container. Who’s to say if only the well-packed fries survive the trip? Does Trump reimburse Christie for the gas?

    BobStewartatHome (a52abe)

  9. Christie talked a good speech but his actions were soft and afraid of his New Jersey electorate. This is a time for matching words to actions.

    Ingot (e65940)

  10. R.I.P. Henry McCullough, original lead guitarist for Paul McCartney & Wings

    Icy (8e169d)

  11. The DNC and the Hillary campaign want to jointly give Patterico.com a special commendation for distracting people with talk of french fries.
    Otherwise, conservatives might be talking about the Clinton ties to Saudi donors.
    Or even all that uncomfortable stuff about Benghazi.
    And this Huma woman has familial ties to the Muslim Brotherhood, doesn’t she?

    Shut up.
    Let’s talk about McDonald’s.
    And, oh yeah, Chris Christie’s FAT!!!3432!!!

    Cruz Supporter (102c9a)

  12. Chris Christie was over the moment he hugged Obama in what the press played as an endorsement just before the 2012 election. His execrable stance on guns and his petty politics with the bridge (does anyone doubt that his people knew to do that crap without asking?) sealed his doom. In the end, he became one more shill on the stage for the Big Shill to use.

    The only thing I like about Chris Christie is that given his weight I will certainly outlive him.

    Kevin M (25bbee)

  13. He wanted to be the on-stage fat dancing sidekick in the vein of Mighty Mighty Bosstones and Emilio Navaira y Su Grupo Rio for the Boss, but took the next best offer.

    urbanleftbehind (5eecdb)

  14. You just don’t understand. I knew one of the victims.
    May he rest in peace.

    Kobeclan (04a945)

  15. Never mind the office of governor, or picking up lunch for Trump, imagine being Christie in line at the McDonald’s.
    He’s got to play retail politics the entire trip, where ever he goes.

    I’ll bet you he does it with flair, panache, and well practiced comfort.

    Do we believe New Yorker quoting anonymous of snapchat?

    papertiger (c2d6da)

  16. papertiger,

    If these puritans can’t have Barry Goldwater as the nominee, they’ll be happy to inflict four years of Hillary upon America.

    Cruz Supporter (102c9a)

  17. The tastiest fries I have had were par boiled, cooled in water, dried and fried in goose fat. Sprinkled with kosher salt and served with many sauces on the side. Cocktail sauce heavy on the horseradish is great with these. The Jersey pumpkin would inhale these.

    mg (31009b)

  18. TDS is difficult to cure although the symptoms can sometimes be ameliorated to a degree, although it takes longer for some sufferers than for others. Those able to retain some level of physical and mental balance seem to recover quickest. The Boy Scout Manuel recommends cold hip baths.

    ropelight (596f46)

  19. First fry at 325 degrees till soft, second fry at 375 degrees (in the oil of your choice) till done. The water bath* can be done before the first fry to avoid unnecessarily fouling the oil, but the drying process must be thorough – use a salad spinner.

    *removes excess starch.

    ropelight (596f46)

  20. teh funnee

    seems to me that some of the mr the donald supporters are in need of cold showers

    or saltpeter

    trumpyfeet (c8876d)

  21. In all fairness, Christie clearly knows how to get some McDonalds.

    If these puritans can’t have Barry Goldwater as the nominee, they’ll be happy to inflict four years of Hillary upon America.

    Cruz Supporter

    Trump is to her left, is more corrupt, far less experienced, and mentally unstable, therefore extremely dangerous as president. The reason you back him over her is that (R), which means nothing, particularly to Trump. That is, unless you trust Trump on his flip flops on guns, abortion, immigration, and foreign policy.

    Most of us supported Romney over Obama so we are hardly puritans. A little use of the blog search tool would make it easy to show how mistaken you are. How come so many of us so-called puritans supported Mccain and Romney in generals?

    Because you’re wrong, that’s how.

    Dustin (2a8be7)

  22. If these puritans can’t have Barry Goldwater as the nominee, they’ll be happy to inflict four years of Hillary upon America.

    1) Perhaps you are projecting, CRUZ SUPPORTER. Cruz was like my 5th choice (Walker, Fiorina, Romney, Rubio, Cruz). Trump just wasn’t on the list and still isn’t. Neither is Hillary or Sanders.

    2) If the convention actually dumped Trump and put, say, Romney in instead, how many of you “OH NO NOT HILLARY!!!” folks would be singing another tune? Or are you going to tell me they’d be voting for Romney to stop the Hildebeast? Betcha not. They didn’t last time.

    Kevin M (25bbee)

  23. It almost doesn’t matter, the fix is in, Hitlery is going to win, in the crookedest election in US history. Every single person in the country could vote for Trump and have a document proving it, and Hitlery would still mysteriously win. The elites are going to make sure that the white working class is completely routed and beaten with a stick, so they never have the nerve to object to their destruction again. People are being told –and they’re believing it– that they have a natural moral right to negate Trump votes, because racisss. We need to get James O’Keefe a job at a vote-counting station, so he can get footage of votes for Trump being shredded. Almost guaranteed to happen.

    I’m pretty afraid there will be riots and violence at the polling stations, and mucho voter intimidation. And Loretta Lynch will sit back and chuckle about it.

    What I don’t understand is this: the GOP lost two straight elections, with two sad-sack characters. They’ve had one job only for the past 4 years: find and vet a guy with the ability to win. And they couldn’t do it.

    hunson abedeer (cacaf3)

  24. Kevin M,

    I’m projecting that I want Hillary?
    What are you talking about?

    My top candidates were Cruz, Rubio, Fiorina, Jindal, and Walker.

    Trump’s a jerk, and a crook, and a liar. Hillary’s also a jerk, a crook and a liar.
    Given a choice between two jerks, crooks, and liars, I’ll take my chances with Trump over Hillary. Although I’m hoping that Trump will withdraw on his own accord, considering that he probably never really expected to win the nomination in the first place.

    Cruz Supporter (102c9a)

  25. I trust in Hillary to do the worst thing for any given situation.

    “If Hillary Clinton is elected in November and serves two terms, she’ll be president until 2025,” said Chris Cox, the executive director of the NRA Institute for Legislative Action. “The damage that would be done by her policies and her Supreme Court picks will destroy individual freedom and therefore destroy the America we all love. We cannot let that happen.”

    Cox added: “We have to unite and we have to unite right now. So on behalf of the thousands of patriots in this room and the five million NRA members across they country and the tens of millions who support us, I am officially announcing the NRA’s endorsement of Donald Trump.”

    Read more: http://dailycaller.com/2016/05/20/nra-endorses-donald-trump/#ixzz4Batcjfih

    papertiger (c2d6da)

  26. As if to put an exclamation point on her key feature, Russia hacks DNC, steals Democratic oppo research file on Trump

    According to experts, this was actually two different hacks conducted by two different Russian outfits (one probably the FSB, the other possibly the military) — and they might not have been working together. That means two distinct infiltrations into the DNC’s system. I wonder if the hackers ran into each other while they were poking around in there. Which reminds me: Are we still pretending that they never made it into the Secretary of State’s amateurish home-server set-up despite the likelihood that it would contain far more valuable information than the Donald Trump oppo file?

    Hillary is too leaky a vessel. Her diaper doesn’t hold water.

    papertiger (c2d6da)

  27. “(Republican told me that a friend of his on the Trump campaign used Snapchat to send him a video of Christie fetching Trump’s McDonald’s order.)”

    Imagine the trust Trump places in Christie. Talk about the fox in teh henhouse! These two have bonded in a BIG way.

    Colonel Haiku (fc9aef)

  28. I’m projecting that I want Hillary?
    What are you talking about?

    You’re the one saying that others want Cruz or they want Hillary. You clearly don’t like it coming back atcha.

    Kevin M (25bbee)

  29. Kevin M,

    I’m still not following you, bud.
    You said I was “projecting.”
    Okay, so that means I want Hillary to win — right?
    But I actually want Hillary to lose.
    And our pal Dustin keeps saying that I would vote for anybody nominated by the Republican party against Hillary.
    YES!
    ABSOLUTELY!

    Although, in the past Dustin’s used the cheap argument that I would vote for Barack if he had an “R” next to his name on the ballot.
    Of course, there’s that little inconvenient fact that an anti-American left wing punk like Barack could never in a million years win the GOP nomination…so a guy like him would never have an “R” next to his name on a ballot.

    Cruz Supporter (102c9a)

  30. “22. If the convention actually dumped Trump and put, say, Romney in instead, how many of you “OH NO NOT HILLARY!!!” folks would be singing another tune?” — Kevin M
    Well, I’m holding out for Goldwater. He’d clean Romney’s clock. Better yet, Reagan.
    Hey, if you can propose fantasies, so can I.

    “21. Trump is to her left, is more corrupt, far less experienced, and mentally unstable, therefore extremely dangerous as president. The reason you back him over her is that (R), which means nothing, ”

    So then you’re voting for Hillary huh?
    Because those are the choices. Either Hillary or Trump will be elected President. In this world, at least. Only in some alternate reality does Johnson or Romney stand a chance of getting elected.

    fred-2 (ce04f3)

  31. fred-2,

    That’s the thing…if you accuse them of supporting Hillary over Trump, then they instinctively respond by admitting they support Hillary over Trump, all the while questioning “your” fidelity to conservative principles. (LOL)

    Cruz Supporter (102c9a)

  32. Fred2 and Cruz Supporter
    You have a choice
    You can vote for Trump, thereby admitting you don’t care whether the GOP is actually interested in small government and that you will docilely vote R no matter what.

    Or you can vote third party/write-in/ undervote/etc. thereby giving notice that the opposite is true.

    Just because the political class offers you only two choices does not mean you have to accept them as the only choices. Trump is as unfit for office as Hillary. I am not going to vote for a person whom I know to be unfit for office.

    kishnevi (050eae)

  33. So far, Dustin I think has made the strongest most persuasive counter argument here against Trump. I don’t really much like Trump myself and though I think he is much smarter than he lets on, I also think he does not have a presidential temperament (although after Bush Jr and Obama, a jelly donut could be said to have a presidential temperament in comparison), nor, unfortunately, the proper political experience (Eisenhower was the last non-professional politician to be president IIRC, but even he sorta really was a politician, given his expertise was as a military planner and not a combat general). Hey, remember back in the 19th C. when we used to elect wacky military heroes as presidents?

    Two things to remember about Trump (and this is analysis, not endorsement):

    1. He’s a business mogul, and he’s good at it. Such a man cannot get to the place he’s attained without understanding the value of teamwork. Trump is weak on a whole lot of things, but his main skill is to get other smart people in a room together and get them working. A lot of people are scared that the man is a loose cannon, and that’s a reasonable fear, but he’s smart enough to surround himself with a lot of tight cannons. Remember how Barack Obama, whose greatest achievement (no, he wasn’t a real law professor, and the HLR stuff will have to wait for another day) was failing to get some asbestos removed from a housing project, said he was more experienced than THE GOVERNOR OF ALASKA, on account of Look how good my giant campaign is running? You might hate Trump, but the man has actually done real stuff.

    2. You have to view this in the long term. A vote for Hillary is a vote for inevitable future civil war. San Jose will be your future, and your children’s future. A vote for Trump is a vote for a sort of clown show, to be sure, but also a vote for a possible fighting chance to sew things back together. Not a promise, just a chance.

    But with Hillary, down the toilet we all will go.

    hunson abedeer (cacaf3)

  34. …You might hate Trump, but the man has actually done real stuff…

    hunson abedeer (cacaf3) — 6/14/2016 @ 4:35 pm

    Yes, defrauding people and stealing their houses involves doing real stuff.

    Steve57 (e33d44)

  35. As does bribing politicians.

    Steve57 (e33d44)

  36. I have little use for stay puft, because of the whole gz mosque, the schundler incident, the hamas atty on the superior court, his service to the sky dragon, that’s long before we get to the bridge, and hurricane sandy,

    narciso (732bc0)

  37. Steve, you forgot going bankrupt four times. Stiffing that many people that many times is not for the fainthearted.

    kishnevi (050eae)

  38. Btw, it could be worse for Christie. He could be playing footstool to Trump, like Valerian to Shapur

    kishnevi (050eae)

  39. I didn’t forget about that, kishnevi, it’s just that the bankruptcies don’t make my personal top three. They don’t even make my top five Trump crimes.

    YMMV.

    Steve57 (e33d44)

  40. We can’t even know yet how awesome Mr. Trump will do on the presidency. We have to see all the people he picks for the offices and for the courts and stuff.

    Plus the first 100 days are always exciting.

    happyfeet (831175)

  41. “Yes, defrauding people and stealing their houses involves doing real stuff.”

    Well, there’s that. (Again, not running the DJT fan club here.) But there are also these great big buildings in places like Manhattan and Las Vegas. How did they get there? And what was the last skyscraper you built? Hillary on the other hand did ‘real stuff’ like ruining Libya for no reason and hiding America’s vital national security interests on a computer in a bathroom. I like the skyscrapers better.

    “As does bribing politicians.”

    You say this with a tone of disgust. This tells me you’ve never done high-end business in New York City. This tells me that your knowledge of the world is…… mmmm, how do I put this nicely? Well, I guess Mr. Trump and Mrs. Clinton both know a lot more nasty things about how the world works. Bribing politicians is a plus in my column. It proves his eyes are open. That’s kind of his whole sales pitch after all, innit. Like I say, I wish we had much better options, and we _should_ have had much better options. (I still can’t understand how Walker didn’t do better, he has the real experience, the real principles, and the real cojones.) But, helas, nous sommes ici. Que voulez-vous, monsieur?

    (SINGS) “Tell me more, tell me more, like does he have a car?”

    hunson abedeer (cacaf3)

  42. Stay in your circle jerk.
    It’s a one issue election.

    Kobeclan (04a945)

  43. His buildings are so nice. I wish there were a lot more Trump buildings cause of how nice they are, and elegant. They’re very optimistic and defiant at the same time – just like Mr. Trump!

    happyfeet (831175)

  44. And if anyone wants to know why I’m in perpetual moderation it’s because I disparaged
    a favorite son.
    The cognitive dissonance is strong here.

    Kobeclan (04a945)

  45. “It’s a one issue election.”

    What is this one issue of which you speak?

    hunson abedeer (cacaf3)

  46. Dustin is down with teh caca… Word.

    Colonel Haiku (2601c0)

  47. And if anyone wants to know why I’m in perpetual moderation it’s because I disparaged
    a favorite son.

    Kobeclan (04a945) — 6/14/2016 @ 5:00 pm

    I hadn’t noticed.

    Bill H (971e5f)

  48. And if anyone wants to know why I’m in perpetual moderation it’s because I disparaged
    a favorite son.

    Kobeclan (04a945) — 6/14/2016 @ 5:00 pm

    Which one of you nattering nay bobs is a favorite son? And how is it I haven’t gotten around to disparaging you yet?

    papertiger (c2d6da)

  49. Yes, defrauding people and stealing their houses involves doing real stuff.

    Steve57 (e33d44) — 6/14/2016 @ 4:38 pm

    Ignore this guy. Scuttlebutt is he’s incorporeal.

    papertiger (c2d6da)

  50. Oh, OK, papertiger. Defrauding people and stealing their houses involves doing fake stuff.

    There, is that better?

    Steve57 (e33d44)

  51. #32 kishnevi,

    “The political class” isn’t giving us “choices” for the November election.
    You do realize that the primaries involved actual voters, right?
    As hard as I worked to see Trump lose, he won. And his name is not going to appear on the ballot with an “R” next to it due to serendipity or by a sneaky conspiracy involving Karl Rove. (LOL)
    Rather, his name will appear on the ballot in November because zillions of Republicans voted for him in the primaries.

    Either Trump or Hillary is going to win the election — not Gary Johnson, and not Joe Blow of the Constitution Party.
    You guys can celebrate your philosophical superiority by voting for Calvin Coolidge as a write-in vote, but I choose to have an impact on who will govern over me by choosing the lesser of two evils, and that’s Trump.
    Voting for the Constitution Party or for Calvin Coolidge (or for Calvin & Hobbes!) is only going to help enable Hillary to win.

    Cruz Supporter (102c9a)

  52. Chisum’s theme from the Young Guns II soundtrack (YouTube)

    It’s an audio file. Just let it play in the background.

    “You took my farm, Mr. Chisum Trump.
    You took a lot of farms, Mr. Chisum Trump.
    As long ‘the Kid’ is taking something back, I’m with him”
    (YouTube)

    papertiger (c2d6da)

  53. Kobeclan: “It’s a one issue election.”

    hunson abedeer: What is this one issue of which you speak?

    All things considered, which one is the greater evil?

    But maybe there’s a way out.

    Sammy Finkelman (7ea384)


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