[Guest post by Emily Litella]

Patterico.com recognizes its obligation to present responsible opposing viewpoints to its editorials when we feel like it. Here to reply to a recent editorial is Ms. Emily Litella.

EMILY LITELLA: After the attacks in Paris, many of my friends have criticized the attacks as an episode of “gun violence.” I agree! France should not have a “right to bear arms.” People wanting to buy guns should have to get “a hunting or shooting sporting license that requires a psychological evaluation and regular renewal.” There should be permits required for “[s]emi-automatic rifles that can hold more than three rounds, as well as rifles and handguns with military-grade calibers.” And [pounds the table] fully automatic weapons should be completely illegal for civilians! If I had anything to do with it, illegally purchasing a gun would lead to a punishment of [Chevy Chase starts to tap Ms. Litella gently on the left shoulder] a “maximum of seven years in prison, plus a fine” — [Chevy Chase continues to tap her shoulder] . . . yes?

CHEVY CHASE: Everything you just said is already the law today in France. They already have strict gun control.

EMILY LITELLA: Oh! I see.

. . . .

. . . .

Never mind!

— Emily Litella

PolitiFact “fact-checks” Ted Cruz and finds his claim that the Democrat party is shrinking is “mostly false.” It’s “mostly false” the way the Dread Pirate Roberts was “mostly dead” in that scene from the Princess Bride that Cruz recently recreated to the amusement of journalists in the room.

I’d take apart the PolitiFact piece, but Cruz already did so on Facebook, and it’s more effective (and easier!) just to quote him:

If you want to know why everyone finds lefty journalists so ridiculous, take a look at this particularly silly Politifact. I said “the Democratic Party keeps getting smaller and smaller.” Looking to the actual numbers, Politifact is forced to agree that, in the last seven years, the Democrats have lost 11 governorships, 13 U.S. Senate seats, 69 House seats, and an amazing 910 state legislative seats. Visibly frustrated, they turn to national Gallup polls. Democrats in 2008 had 38% support; today it is 29%.

If Politifact were checking actual “facts,” that would be the end of the matter. They would rate it something like “True, even though we really hate it.” Instead, shaking with frustration, they grasp at straws: but Democrats (with an incumbent president and a massive crony shake-down machine) have raised more money! And here is one poll showing Democrats have (or had) support among Millennials! Of course, neither of those has anything to do with what I said.

Politifact is also, “ahem,” peeved I correctly observed the Democratic field is not exactly young and dynamic.

Here is a prediction for their next Politifact: they will “fact” check my first sentence, and conclude it is false because, hey, they found three other lefty journalists who do not think they are ridiculous….

Thanks to aunursa on the Facebooks.

P.S. I love the part where they quote Cruz as saying: “What does it say that they’re having a hard time finding anyone to run for president who isn’t nearly 207 years old?” They respond: “Ahem: Sanders is 74; fellow Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton is 68.” Hahahahahahaha.

[guest post by Dana]

1) Hillary Clinton exploits 9/11 to brush away questions about her long-standing close ties to Wall Street:

Sanders attacks: “Let’s not be naive about it. Why, over her political career, has Wall Street been a major, THE major, campaign contributor to Hillary Clinton? You know, maybe they’re dumb and they don’t know what they’re going to get, but I don’t think so. … Why do they make millions of dollars of campaign contributions? They expect to get something! Everybody knows that!”

Clinton pulls out a rhetorical bazooka: “Wait a minute, he has basically used his answer to impugn my integrity. Let’s be frank here: … Not only do I have hundreds of thousands of donors, most of them small. And I’m very proud that for the first time a majority of my donors are women, 60 percent. So, I represented New York, and I represented New York on 9/11 when we were attacked. Where were we attacked? We were attacked in downtown Manhattan, where Wall Street is. I did spend a whole lot of time and effort helping them rebuild. That was good for New York. It was good for the economy and it was a way to rebuke the terrorists who had attacked our country.”

Clinton’s campaign attempted to do ‘clean-up’ afterwards.

2) Bernie Sanders blames climate change for the rise of terrorism:

JOHN DICKERSON: Senator Sanders, you said you wanna rid the planet of ISIS. In the previous debate you said the greatest threat to national security was climate change. Do you still believe that?

BERNIE SANDERS: Absolutely. In fact, climate change is directly related to the growth of terrorism. And if we do not get our act together and listen to what the scientists say you’re gonna see countries all over the world– this is what the C.I.A. says, they’re gonna be struggling over limited amounts of water, limited amounts of land to grow their crops. And you’re gonna see all kinds of international conflict. But of course international terrorism is a major issue that we’ve got to address today. And I agree with much of what– the secretary and– and the governor have said. Only have one area of– of disagreement with the secretary. I think she said something like, “The bulk of the responsibility is not ours.” Well, in fact, I would argue that the disastrous invasion of Iraq, something that I strongly opposed, has unraveled the region completely. And led to the rise of Al Qaeda– and to– ISIS. Now, in fact, what we have got to do– and I think there is widespread agreement here– ’cause the United States cannot do it alone. What we need to do is lead an international coalition which includes– very significantly– (UNINTEL) nations in that region are gonna have to fight and defend their way of life.

–Dana