Patterico's Pontifications

4/17/2015

Hookers for Hillary!

Filed under: General — Dana @ 5:43 pm



[guest post by Dana]

It’s been one pretty boring week in the Hillary for President campaign. Astro-turfing, entitled behavior and another History-of-Hillary revision (this time about her name) all added up to a fairly ho-hum Week One.

Until now!

Just in time to spice up Hillary’s lackluster campaign, the Moonlite Bunny Ranch in Nevada has announced the launch of Hookers for Hillary!

Untitled-1

“Hillary Clinton, as part of her husband’s administration, envisioned health care reform in the 1990’s, long before President Obama was able to sign it into law,” they write. “The Affordable Health Care Act made health insurance available for the first time ever to the 500 independent contractors employed by Dennis Hof. With any Republican nominee likely to work for its’ repeal, the Bunnies want to protect the quality health coverage that they now enjoy.”

“As Secretary Of State, Hillary Clinton gained invaluable experience negotiating with foreign leaders, and the Bunnies can definitely relate to negotiating through a language barrier,” they continued. “The Bunny Ranch entertains customers from all around the globe, and the girls have great respect for any woman who can take powerful men from oppressive cultures and make them bend to her will.”

And most amusingly, this:

“Bill Clinton presided over the most prosperous time in Bunny Ranch history, which coincided with a tax increase on the wealthiest Americans such as brothel owner Dennis Hof,” the Bunny Ranch writes. “The Bunnies recognize that thriving economies are built from the bottom up, where the vast majority of their clients originate. A return to relying on the disproven theory of trickle-down economics would only serve to exclude the vast majority of hard-working Bunny Ranch clients from having the discretionary income to enjoy with their favorite Bunny.

Oh, I just bet the Bunny Ranch was hopping with success when Bill was president!

No comment from Hillary’s camp on this latest group of “everyday” Americans supporting her bid for presidency. And definitely no comment from Bill, though we can be fairly certain he is most appreciative of these enthusiastic bunnies.

–Dana

52 Responses to “Hookers for Hillary!”

  1. Hello.

    Dana (86e864)

  2. A return to relying on the disproven theory of trickle-down economics would only serve to exclude the vast majority of hard-working Bunny Ranch clients from having the discretionary income to enjoy with their favorite Bunny.

    Who wrote this for them? I could ask what exactly “they” mean by “trickle-down economics” but that seems rather pointless.

    Gerald A (9d7d51)

  3. Dana, Patterico, and Haiku, you live in California? Honestly, how do you keep from sticking your head in the oven?

    Stevenson College, part of the University of California, Santa Cruz, is apologizing to its students for serving Mexican food during “Intergalactic” night. In a letter sent out to students, the college apologized for having “a Mexican food buffet,” while also featuring spaceships and aliens. The college received complaints saying the combination was racist because of the association between Mexicans and illegal immigrants. “We would never want to make a connection between individuals of Latino heritage or undocumented students and “aliens” and I am so sorry that our College Night appeared to do exactly that,” wrote Carolyn Golz … 6.

    http://thepunditpress.com/2015/04/16/college-apologizes-for-serving-mexican-food-during-sci-fi-event/

    elissa (fb4b95)

  4. Elissa – I am working with that one already. Good Allah.

    JD (3b5483)

  5. Speaking for myself, Elissa, I just consider the source. One has to maintain a sense of humor and patience with those who suffer from a diminished capacity, either through ingestion of controlled substances or leftist politics, or in the most heart-wrenching cases, both.

    Colonel Haiku (2601c0)

  6. The Bunnies recognize that thriving economies are built from the bottom up, where the vast majority of their clients originate.

    And no doubt wish to return to, as their wives just aren’t into that.

    Steve57 (cd6f9a)

  7. re #3: who ever complained about racism needs to be educated about what a ‘race’ is.
    guess this means no more soul food for the track and field teams.

    re OT: i love this ‘economy grows from bottom up’ nonsense. I’m trying to remember who said in the 80s/90s that humanity has yet to see an economy grow from poor people hiring richer people to work for them. maybe the pimping business is a specialized economy.

    seeRpea (d1cf05)

  8. Not “good Allah” towards you, towards those special little snowflakes.

    JD (3b5483)

  9. A few of these hilarity hookers look as if meat should be deleted from their daily diet

    mg (31009b)

  10. Oh, I knew that’s what you meant, JD

    elissa (fb4b95)

  11. Bill wants to thank these Hillary supporters in person!!!!!!

    daleyrocks (bf33e9)

  12. Stevenson College, part of the University of California, Santa Cruz, is apologizing to its students for serving Mexican food during “Intergalactic” night.

    I’m going to have to work up a post about the politics of Mexican food. It seems to be in the news quite a bit. Since the mainstream news seems to content with pointless and vapid questions, they ought to start asking the declared candidates, “You have $10 to spend at Taco Bell; what you are going to get?”

    JVW (a1146f)

  13. The hookers are more authentic than Hillary is.

    elissa (fb4b95)

  14. That’s the nice thing about hookers, elissa. They’re more authentic than pols. They’ll at least stop screwing you when you run out of money. The dog isn’t man’s best friend. It’s the South East Asian sex worker.

    (I just threw that last part in for all the UCSC students upset over the raaacism of serving Mexican food during Intergalactic night. See what I did their? Mebbe some of them will come across this site if their $60k/year day care centers/rubber room academies allow unmonitored internet access and their heads will explode.)

    Steve57 (cd6f9a)

  15. there

    Steve57 (cd6f9a)

  16. Sweet Cream Hooker Ladies” by the BoxTops (Alex Chilton Lives!)

    Hooker ladies, forward march
    The world owes you free healthcare
    Hooker ladies, do your part,
    though STDs you will share
    To the lost and stupid people on the left
    you’re heroic ’cause of morals they’re bereft
    Most will know that you have no clue
    Take advantage of a free screw
    And refuse to recognize you in the light

    Colonel Haiku (2601c0)

  17. i appreciate the superior intelligence of the one on the far right, kneeling and hiding behind the “Y”.

    Colonel Haiku (2601c0)

  18. Col-prolly that girl’s grandma hasn’t been told yet about her career choice so it’s a very wise precaution on her part.

    elissa (fb4b95)

  19. In honor of the Hookers for Hillary! endorsement, The Clintons have decided to create a new campaign logo as a couple.

    http://www.bookwormroom.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/Bill-and-Hillary-campaign-logos.jpg

    Steve57 (cd6f9a)

  20. lol, elissa… “no, grandma, I’m not going off to war…”

    Colonel Haiku (2601c0)

  21. Oh sure. You think it’s funny to make jokes about a President having dalliances in Nevada brothels. You should all be ashamed of yourselves! Everyone knows that Bill only parties with underage prostitutes on private islands.

    David Pittelli (b77425)

  22. Bill wants to thank these Hillary supporters in person!!!!!!

    Free cigars for all of them too!

    Mark (6c31df)

  23. That whirling sound you hear us Adlai spinning in his grave.
    These are very special snowflakes
    http://news.ucsc.edu/2012/10/zero-paper-towel.html

    What is truly amusing is that the university’s Cultural Diversity program is focused on blacks with no apparent attebtion to Hispanics.

    kishnevi (9c4b9c)

  24. *attention*

    kishnevi (9c4b9c)

  25. these people and their bizarre unending obsession with refuse

    it’s just creepy

    happyfeet (831175)

  26. O/T but sort of related. I think you’ll make the connection.

    http://denver.cbslocal.com/2015/04/16/tsa-screener-groping-dia/

    DENVER (CBS4)– A former TSA screener at Denver International Airport says colleagues who conspired to grope male passengers viewed what they were doing as “just a game.”

    He opted to speak after a CBS4 Investigation earlier this week revealed two TSA screeners were fired for participating in a conspiracy to allow a male TSA agent to grope the genitals of male passengers.

    I’m not sure, but I think it’s possible that somebody thinks saying it was “just a game” makes it all better. I could be wrong.

    He asked he not be identified as TSA forbids current and former employees from discussing security procedures.

    Genital groping = security procedures.

    They’ve got all their bases covered.

    TSA has refused to release details of what happened or answer questions from CBS4, only calling the behavior “egregious” and confirming the firing of the two employees.

    You see, federal privacy regulations prevent anyone from talking about the identity of the genital groper, security procedures, or even talking about it to the press.

    Because the genital gropers are all about respecting people’s privacy. Yeah.

    Is it any wonder ISIS thinks we’re ripe for the taking? We’re putting up with this s**t.

    But, back to the Bunny Ranch and Hookers for Hillary!

    Steve57 (cd6f9a)

  27. I see a way to stop the groping program with the power of political correctness. This episode revolved around the fact that the screening machines flagged people identified as female who had male genitals, and presumably the reverse.
    In other words every single transvestite and every transgender person who had yet to completely transition should be pulled over to be groped…

    kishnevi (adea75)

  28. Do you suppose Hillary’s fake immigrant ancestors oppressed Lizzie’s fake Native American ancestors?

    WarEagle82 (d35bad)

  29. Kinda sorta, kishnevi. The flagging didn’t happen with someone manually stimulating the “flag me” button. Unlike Skynet, it wasn’t self-aware; it wasn’t auto-erotic.

    Steve57 (cd6f9a)

  30. *without someone manually…

    Damn. It happened again.

    Steve57 (cd6f9a)

  31. 28. Do you suppose Hillary’s fake immigrant ancestors oppressed Lizzie’s fake Native American ancestors?
    WarEagle82 (d35bad) — 4/17/2015 @ 8:08 pm

    We’ll have to ask Ben Affleck’s airbrushed-from-history slave-owning ancestors to make the call.

    Steve57 (cd6f9a)

  32. Steve, the stories I read said the machine was fed false information (told male passenger was female). Scanner then interpreted male genitals as a bulge inappropriate for a female, which gave the excuse to grope, and raises the question of how they actually deal with transgendered people.

    kishnevi (adea75)

  33. To make an excursion back into serious-landia.

    http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2015/04/14/tsa-screeners-fired-groping/25775949/

    According to a police report, the anonymous tipster also said that when the screener saw an attractive man in line, he alerted another TSA screener to trigger the full-body scanner into a false alert indicating the need for a pat down of the passenger’s genital area.

    http://denver.cbslocal.com/2015/04/16/tsa-screener-groping-dia/

    When an attractive male passenger would enter the security scanner, the agent would press a button indicating the passenger was female, triggering an alarm and then allowing her male colleague to conduct a pat down search on the genitals of passengers he deemed “attractive.”

    I hope everybody realizes how little I’d rather be thinking about this.

    But you got questions, I got answers.

    Steve57 (cd6f9a)

  34. Harry Reid’s Nevada hookers are the new squirrels!

    Think this will distract everybody from noticing the disaster that Hillary! has been so far on the campaign trail?

    Steve57 (cd6f9a)

  35. Whoever beat the crap out of Reid back at New Year is getting their money’s worth now.

    Maybe the same people who killed Vince Foster?

    Steve57 (cd6f9a)

  36. 17. i appreciate the superior intelligence of the one on the far right, kneeling and hiding behind the “Y”.

    Colonel Haiku (2601c0) — 4/17/2015 @ 6:46 pm

    Mebbe she just doesn’t want the same mob enforcers who caught up with Reid to catch up with her.

    They may not be so gentle this time, considering she’s a nobody.

    And leave her with injuries ENTIRELY consistent with an elastic band breaking on your bathroom exercise gear.

    Swear to Gawd.

    Steve57 (cd6f9a)

  37. Steve, I will be getting TSA’d next month..r/t to Richmond with a change of planes at Charlotte. They will have four chances to grope me.

    kishnevi (9c4b9c)

  38. Just lay back and think of England, kishnevi.

    Steve57 (cd6f9a)

  39. Haven’t been on a plane since 2002. May never fly again, actually.

    Gazzer (8d02a8)

  40. Also, don’t do it in the street and scare the horses.

    Steve57 (cd6f9a)

  41. i appreciate the superior intelligence of the one on the far right, kneeling and hiding behind the “Y”.

    She hides because Daddy thinks she is majoring in Chican@ Studies at UC Santa Cruz.

    JVW (a1146f)

  42. Good news, Gazzer. They’re setting up checkpoints.

    http://www.forbes.com/sites/realspin/2012/02/29/the-tsa-is-coming-to-a-highway-near-you/

    Somewhere, somehow, there’s a citizen who’s every orifice hasn’t been violated by the feds. You know, the IRS can’t do everything.

    The DHS helpfully steps up to the plate.

    Steve57 (cd6f9a)

  43. 41. i appreciate the superior intelligence of the one on the far right, kneeling and hiding behind the “Y”.

    She hides because Daddy thinks she is majoring in Chican@ Studies at UC Santa Cruz.

    JVW (a1146f) — 4/17/2015 @ 8:45 pm

    I prefer my version. Where she doesn’t want to be the nobody that no one will miss when conveniently the Senator gets into a jam when the Corleone’s need a gaming license and the Nevada pol just isn’t playing ball.

    Of course I’m kidding. It’s all perfectly understandable. Why, I remember New Years Eve 2008. I was working out on the Bowflex. My good friends Rocco and Vinni stopped by for a chat. We talked in the gym. Then, all of a sudden, one of the arms on my Bowflex snapped. I ended up in the hospital with multiple compound fractures to all my limbs, a lacerated liver, five broken ribs, a depressed fracture to the skull, and what the doctors thought looked like bullet wounds to both my kneecaps but I talked them out of putting in the report.

    Things happen. I totally understand.

    Steve57 (cd6f9a)

  44. elissa (@3, 5, etc) Its got something to do with the coastal salt air and banana slugs, the school mascot. You have to move well inland and gain some altitude before things get better. Not good, only better… still crazy but with more elbow room and better scenery.

    The mother ship is still Berzerkley.

    Gramps, the original (9e1415)

  45. @42: So that episode in New Mexico about a year ago was a test run…?? Where the court issued a warrant for a colonoscopy?

    You can’t make this s**t up.

    Gramps, the original (9e1415)

  46. @45, no. Literally. I haven’t had an original idea in 30 years, Gramps. Sometimes I think I have, then I discover this beyond-parody world has beat me to it.

    Steve57 (cd6f9a)

  47. Steve, I barely even go on freeways anymore. The nearest one is 15 miles away but we seem to exist happily in a 10 mile radius of our home. And we were both big travelers back in the day. Guess we scratched that itch.
    In fact, last year in our little town, The Marshall lit me up and pulled me over. I thought what the heck did I do.
    He just wanted to say hi cos he hadn’t seen me in a while! Yeah, the town is that small.

    Gazzer (8d02a8)

  48. Don’t take this as an intended offense, please, Gazzer. I have a need to travel more widely.

    It all comes down to the size of the box you’re supposed to live in. They’re building a very small box for me. They’re building a very small box for you, too, but you may not notice for a while as you don’t usually hit the limits.

    Steve57 (cd6f9a)

  49. Trust me when I tell you this is my choice. I have the freedom to do whatever I please and go where I please. No offense taken, anyhoo.

    Gazzer (8d02a8)

  50. “The Affordable Health Care Act made health insurance available for the first time ever to the 500 independent contractors employed by Dennis Hof.

    Hof probably is a typical two-faced, “I’m for the proletariat!” liberal — as most of his hookers are — because his business apparently is arranged to use workers who are designated as “independent contractors” instead of flat-out employees, which allows him to dodge all the IRS or other government requirements of having to tack on SSI and unemployment benefits. Simply put, if one of his independent contractors are let go, she can’t access, for example, monies for unemployment, and Hoff, in turn, doesn’t have to deal with the nuisance (and expense) of paying for that.

    Definitely Hillary (or Barry, or Bill, et al) type of people.

    (BTW, I’ve aware of garden-variety Democrats over the past many years based in California who have skirted its uber-blue-state laws by registering their businesses in the state of Nevada.)

    Mark (6c31df)

  51. Oh, I thought that the prostitutes were for Hillary because she stayed with a man for money.

    Patricia (5fc097)

  52. how would the hookers at a pimps place of business qualify as independent contractors?

    seeRpea (d1cf05)


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