Patterico's Pontifications


Santa Claus: Republican Or Democrat?

Filed under: General — Dana @ 7:35 pm

[guest post by Dana]

Between shopping, wrapping gifts and baking goodies, a few politicians and consultants took time to answer the most pressing question of the season: Is Santa Claus a Republican or a Democrat?

Newt Gingrich, former House Speaker:

Santa Claus is clearly a Republican. He actually delivers what he promises. He and the elves believe in hard work. He helps children for free, he doesn’t put them deeper in debt. He unites all of us in a love of Christmas. He isn’t a divider.

Paul Begala, Democratic media consultant:

Santa is definitely a Democrat. Rather than cater to the wealthiest one percent he rewards people who work hard and play by the rules. And while he’s not a participant in the first lady’s anti-obesity campaign he’s very concerned about climate change. After all, Rudolph can fly but he can’t swim.

Bruce Mehlman, Republican lobbyist:

He’s a straight, white, older male running a rural, non-unionized, faith-based small business premised on accountability (naughty/nice list), meritocracy (Rudolph in front) and absence of government intervention. It don’t get much more Republican than that!

Jim Margolis, Obama media consultant:

Republican… out of shape, obsessed with red, employees required to work day and night, addicted to coal.

Alex Castellanos, Republican media consultant:

He knows if you’ve been bad or good, which makes him an advocate of meritocracy and, most likely, a Republican. On the other hand, he only works one day a year, which could make him, not only a Democrat, but a federal employee.


UPDATE BY PATTERICO: I don’t know if Santa is a Republican or a Democrat, but I believe him to be a conservative, for reasons I expressed in this 2013 post. Summary: he makes a payroll and locates in a remote area to avoid excessive regulation. Conservative.

You do realize conservatives are more charitable than so-called liberals, don’t you?

73 Responses to “Santa Claus: Republican Or Democrat?”

  1. Hello. Merry Christmas Eve!

    Dana (8e74ce)

  2. Between shopping, wrapping gifts and baking goodies

    Is it way too much to assume that pols and consultants do at least one of these??

    Dana (8e74ce)

  3. Santa would be more cooler if he could shoot laser beams out of his eyes I think

    happyfeet (831175)

  4. I think Santa Claus is Santa Claus, and I think between Slate, HuffPo, and WaPo, they have filed an inordinate amount of silly columns in a bizarre attempt to politicize Christmas.

    I could not care less whether Santa is a Rep or Dem. I do, however, care a great deal about the unbridled joy that my 6-year old gets from Elf on the shelf, and presents under the Christmas tree on Christmas morning.

    Have a merry f@cking Christmas, everyone.

    JD (86a5eb)

  5. You ignored the best answer:

    Can I say he is an independent? He insists on accountability and engages in surveillance like a Republican and dispenses largesse with no regard for budgets like a Democrat.

    max (4fdf98)

  6. someday

    someday soon

    on a not so distant future day

    elf on the shelf will move all by himself

    and he will be the elf on the shelf who moves all by himself

    and god help us all

    happyfeet (831175)

  7. Dana – my acerbic comment was not directed towards your post, but towards those that so overtly wish to drag a wonderful child-like holiday into a modern political tug-of-war.

    JD (86a5eb)

  8. Max, I liked that, too, but especially this: On the other hand, he only works one day a year, which could make him, not only a Democrat, but a federal employee.

    Dana (8e74ce)

  9. JD, I assure you I only posted it because it was light and fun, especially after news of another shooting. And, as I’m past the years of having little ones full of delirious happiness on Christmas morning, as well as not having seen how Christmas is being politicized around the interwebs, it just seemed like an amusing little post.

    I hope that tomorrow morning, you and your better-half tuck into your hearts the delighted looks on the faces of your little girls as they see what Santa Claus brought them. Those golden moments end far too quickly. Merry Christmas.

    Dana (8e74ce)

  10. I would put a smiley winky face on here, but I don’t think they work 😉

    JD (86a5eb)

  11. Santa Claus could be a little of both Parties, or an Independent, or he could also be a Libertarian. Like American Libertarians, Santa Claus stands for autonomy and freedom of choice because it’s up to each child to choose whether to be naughty or nice, and there are consequences for the choices. And like European Libertarians, he’s a socialist because he wants to redistribute wealth and believes in open borders.

    Come to think of it, I bet Santa Claus is different things to different people, and what a wonderful fellow he is for our children and the child in all of us.

    DRJ (a83b8b)

  12. Pagan shills for mercantilism exist in both parties. He is whatever Macy’s is; they invented him.

    nk (dbc370)

  13. Yes, I just finished wrapping the last present and I am sick of Taylor Swift and her “Last Christmas I gave you my tush” everywhere I go and every five minutes on whatever channel I might tune the car radio.

    nk (dbc370)

  14. Heh. You are sounding a bit Scrooge-like, nk. Isn’t your daughter right in the I-love-Taylor Swift demographic?

    Dana (8e74ce)

  15. No, she’s way past her. She sings better than her, actually. Two years ago, she sang “I Knew You Were Trouble”, with the accompaniment put together just by herself using the Garage Band(?) app, for the school talent show, and she sang it better than Swift. She likes One Direction still, but I think it’s because of Niall Horan mainly.

    nk (dbc370)

  16. Correction. According to the daughter she is still kind of a Taylor Swift fan but she’s more into Indies, like Chemical Romance and The 1975.

    nk (dbc370)

  17. Yes, Indies.
    trying to be non-conformists, like their dads, they are.

    Did the Obama consultant really say that? the only person to diss Santa and say he belonged to the other guys.

    MD in Philly (f9371b)

  18. I know Last Christmas I gave you …” as a George Michael thing I hear several times a day at work. It is lousy with him, too, so I say blame the song, not Swift.
    Main topic. Santa is a politician from either party. Persuades kids they can get something for nothing, and the goodies are paid for by someone else, the parents. And if he really knows who is naughty and who is nice, he must be part of the NSA.

    kishnevi (a722fb)

  19. I am combatting one obsessed with American Girl (constructed the beauty salon and horse stable tonight), and another obsessed with One Direction (Liam), and a newfound fixation on make-up. Make-up is surprisingly, no – shockingly expensive.

    JD (86a5eb)

  20. Oh, and cheerleading is of the Devil. Cheer Bows should be criminal.

    JD (86a5eb)

  21. “He sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake.”

    Santa Claus isn’t a member of an American political party… he’s Ingsoc Inner Party straight out of Orwell.

    malclave (4f3ec1)

  22. JD

    Makeup – the new mafia

    EPWJ (c12453)

  23. UPDATE BY PATTERICO: I don’t know if Santa is a Republican or a Democrat, but I believe him to be a conservative, for reasons I expressed in this 2013 post. Summary: he makes a payroll and locates in a remote area to avoid excessive regulation. Conservative.

    You do realize conservatives are more charitable than so-called liberals, don’t you?

    Patterico (227090)

  24. Jim Margolis, Obama media consultant:

    Republican… out of shape, obsessed with red, employees required to work day and night, addicted to coal.

    My Lord, I know the comment is tongue-in-cheek, but how stupid do you have to be to not try to appropriate Santa Claus for your own political ends, especially at this time of year? It’s like saying your party hates mom, baseball, apple pie, and Chevrolet, which, come to think of it, the Democrats mostly do (well, except Chevy which gets taxpayer bailouts in order to save union jobs).

    Merry Christmas, folks.

    JVW (60ca93)

  25. Santa Clause is definitely conservative and a Republican. He gives to others generously without taxing everyone else to provide. Democrats are only generous with other people’s money.

    Jim (84e66d)

  26. Mr Claus is certainly a conservative, because, while charitable, he does give more to the children of wealthier white people than he does to Children of Color.

    The TEA Party Dana (1b79fa)

  27. santa kkklaus has his own agenda but that doesn’t make him a bad person, not really

    it’s complicated

    happyfeet (831175)

  28. Our esteemed host wrote:

    Summary: he makes a payroll and locates in a remote area to avoid excessive regulation. Conservative.

    Note here that Mr Claus and Santa Claus Enterprises, LLC, have located away from any regulations. Has Mr Claus paid his taxes? Do his employees receive at least the minimum wage, and are they being forced to work under sweatshop conditions, with unpaid overtime, and no OSHA oversight? Do they have employer-provided health insurance, including contraceptive coverage, and does Santa Claus Enterprises, LLC, maintain a diverse workplace? Will his elves have access to Social Security and Medicare when they retire, or are they even allowed to retire at al?

    The Dana who looks for the union label (1b79fa)

  29. OT, is there ever a moment, when Begala is not a fool?

    narciso (ee1f88)

  30. The myth of Santa Claus is like all other Democrat Party myths.

    AZ Bob (34bb80)

  31. What do you mean Conservatives are more charitable? Conservatives are only willing to give their own money away, Liberals are willing to give away my money, your money (and yours too) and throw in whatever they can borrow from China against our children’s future. When was the last time the Koch brothers gave away millions of dollars of other people’s money, those tightwads?

    max (4fdf98)

  32. Time Magazine lists Christmas movies that don’t have “cheesy Christmas morals.”

    DRJ (a83b8b)

  33. they are beyond parody.

    narciso (ee1f88)

  34. Given Santa’s “Naughty or nice” criteria, he is definitely not one of those people who side with evil over good, wrong over right and he does not value the behaviors that lead to failure over those that lead to success.

    In summary, he is not a Democrat.

    Colonel Haiku (2601c0)

  35. 33
    It took me a minute to realize they counted Harry Potter as ⅞ films to reach 11.

    kishnevi (3719b7)

  36. Christmas movies that don’t have “cheesy Christmas morals” are called “movies” i thought

    happyfeet (831175)

  37. i guess my favorite not christmas christmas movie though would be Stillman’s Metropolitan but it has oodles of morals

    happyfeet (831175)

  38. Santa operates as a private enterprise. He doesn’t force others to contribute to his organization. It’s voluntary, not mandatory which is a very conservative concept.

    Jim C (fd39c8)

  39. Union organizers have infitrated Santa’s work shop, so expect trouble from the SHEU next year…

    Colonel Haiku (2601c0)

  40. teh Santa’s Helpers & Elves Union.

    Colonel Haiku (2601c0)

  41. He’s a socialist who runs a sweat shop full of midgets and mutant ungulates. His best friends are the Wizard of Oz and a North Korean counterfeiter.
    The toys all have tracking devices, cameras, and voice recorders and all of it is beamed to a series of sleighs that are not trackable by NORAD no matter what the Dept. of Defense says.
    Thanks for bringing this up… now I’m too scared to leave the house and I’m bricking in the chimney and fireplace

    steveg (794291)

  42. since santa clause is good and republicans are evil santa must be a flaming liberal. HAPPY KWANZAA!

    santa's helper (5f0875)

  43. JD
    Cheerleading or is it dance team with pom poms?
    My wife’s daughter competed in that and we had to sit in the bleachers out at some gym in BFE and wait for her team to get on and do their 3 minute routine. Of course they were always late by a couple hours. I’d read the entire newspaper including the stock tables, did all the puzzles, wrote rebuttals to the Op-Ed and to all letters to the editor. Then drive home in a foul mood, cursing the inventor of the pom pom

    May God have mercy on your soul

    steveg (794291)

  44. pom poms are how we show our enthusiastic support for stuff

    i’m sure i have a pair around here somewheres

    happyfeet (831175)

  45. I believe the head of the reindeer union is Jimmy Hoofa.

    Gazzer (c44509)

  46. Conservatives (or Republicans?) sometimes accuse others (Democrats?) of trying to pretend they are Santa Claus.

    Sammy Finkelman (1b38fa)

  47. steveg – both. Shoot me now.

    JD (ea1128)

  48. New York Times Op-ed piece discussing Santa Claus:

    Eric Kaplan, a producer and writer for the CBS sitcom “The Big Bang Theory,” is the author of “Does Santa Exist?: A Philosophical Investigation.”

    Sammy Finkelman (1b38fa)

  49. This country is decadent and we, that’s me and youse guys, are part of the problem. 😉

    nk (dbc370)

  50. This is not supposed to be a parody.

    I think.

    Sammy Finkelman (1b38fa)

  51. NYT Op-eds are always parodies whether intended or not, Sammy.

    nk (dbc370)

  52. And what is actually known about Santa Claus, including the traditions that eventually transformed him into Santa Claus..

    kishnevi (3719b7)

  53. I suppose if St. Nicholas wants to be Santa Claus, in addition to being a Christian saint, the patron saint and protector of sailors and children, he can also be Santa Claus. But not in Greece. In Greece, St. Nicholas is celebrated on December 6, and it’s St. Basil who brings presents on New Year’s Day. Christmas is a solemn religious holiday. But if he wants to put on a clown suit and ride around in a sleigh pulled by flying reindeer for northern barbarians who were still living in grass huts and painting themselves blue when he was alive … well, he’s a saint, he can do whatever he wants.

    nk (dbc370)

  54. By that time the Britons were past the woad painting stage, and were proper Roman provincials. You do know the importance of England in Constantine’s life, I assume.
    What you may not know is that you were borrowing that line from Disraeli (something like “when my ancestors were talking to God, yours were painting themselves blue”.)

    kishnevi (a5d1b9)

  55. Of course I read it somewhere, I didn’t know it was Disreali. But what about “Braveheart”? They were shown running around bare-assed and painted blue in the 12th century. And don’t tell me thatch is not grass. 😉

    And January 1 is also a religious holiday in Greece, celebrating Christ’s briss, BTW.

    nk (dbc370)

  56. santa claus is a uniter not a divider

    like birthday cake

    and plucky underdogs

    and babies

    happyfeet (831175)

  57. Knew that. The Catholics used to have it, but changed it a couple of decades ago to something else.

    I think the blue paint is a bit of Gibsonic embellishment. The real Wallace and Robert Bruce would have considered themselves mainstream European nobility and gentry.

    kishnevi (294553)

  58. Anyway, my roots are showing.

    nk (dbc370)

  59. I have read that the current American version of Christmas leans heavily on the experience of soldiers and their families during the civil war and the popularity of the poem ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas.

    MD in Philly (f9371b)

  60. Woke up to “All About That Bass” by Meghan Trainor, not “Have A Holly Jolly Christmas”. Thank you, spirits of the airwaves, thank you!

    This is the first time I heard, or even heard of, Meghan Trainor*. But it’s not Christmas music, that’s all that matters. Since f***ing Halloween, they were playing the stuff. Since Halloween! On my radio! My radio!

    *Actually, it’s not a bad song. Nice beat. And it’s not Christmas music!

    nk (dbc370)

  61. I once caught a big trout, but he didn’t put up the sort of fight a Bass of the same weight would.

    Colonel Haiku (2601c0)

  62. You do realize conservatives are more charitable than so-called liberals, don’t you?

    The tax returns of most of the liberal/Democrat presidents and main presidential candidates of the left over the past several decades appear to confirm that.

    Other studies also indicate people of the right are less likely than liberals/Democrats to say that blacks are intrinsically inferior or that it’s okay to segregate them (ie, keep them out) from neighborhoods. If I hadn’t delved more closely into the history of the major White House figureheads of the left over the past 100 years — Woodrow Wilson, Franklin D Roosevelt, Harry Truman and Bill Clinton — and their surprising bigotries, even I would still suspect that finding was an overly cynical one about the two-faced nature of liberals.

    I think all of this may be due to the way larger numbers of liberals than conservatives downplay or discount the importance of integrity and ethics. After all, being a cheapskate and discriminatory in private (or unwittingly or glibly racially condescending—eg, emails from Sony’s liberal bigwigs about Obama) is a form of unethical behavior.

    Mark (c160ec)

  63. So that’s what that second line is:

    I’m all about the bass
    No trout

    The girl wants a decent sized fish for filets.

    nk (dbc370)

  64. nk…yesterday, to give myself an errand, I ran over to the lical kosher market, figuring I would be in no danger of Christmas music there. Guess what? First thing I heard inside was a Christmas song. I had forgotten they simply pipe a local radio station…
    But at least I got a couple of nice steaks.

    I do like Christmas music, but when it is by Bach, Berlioz,etc.

    kishnevi (294553)

  65. *local*

    kishnevi (a5d1b9)

  66. I once read about somebody Jewish who liked it when Christmas music was playing on the radio, because it wa sthe only time you could hear genuine music.

    Sammy Finkelman (1b38fa)

  67. It’s all pre-1950 or so.

    Sammy Finkelman (1b38fa)

  68. There is this..
    I work in retail, meaning I hear holiday music from mid November on. Usually by 12-24, I go around saying “Scrooge should not have changed his mind.”

    kishnevi (294553)

  69. That girl wants fried catfish with hush puppies.
    Some butter… lots of butter

    The video for that song is fun

    steveg (794291)

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