Patterico's Pontifications


Fred Phelps “On the Edge of Death”

Filed under: General — Patterico @ 9:40 pm

Fred Phelps is about to die.

I have changed from a person who, not too many years ago, would have said: “Where’s the funeral so we can picket it?” to someone who just feels sad that someone would have dedicated his life to causing such misery.

I certainly don’t condemn anyone who wants to grab a “God Hates Fred Phelps” sign and camp outside his hospice facility waiting for directions to the funeral. I don’t share the feeling. To paraphrase Sam Kinison, I UNDERSTAND IT! But I don’t share it.

P.S. Politico wants you to know 10 facts about Fred Phelps. I won’t link those people, but if you Google it, you’ll see they think it’s important that he “represented African-American clients in civil rights cases” or that “was admitted to West Point” or that “The United States Supreme Court ruled in his favor.” Yeah, yeah, Politico. Big whoop.

If anyone has a “God Hates Politico” sign, hand it over. I’m ready to picket.

49 Responses to “Fred Phelps “On the Edge of Death””

  1. Ding.

    Patterico (9c670f)

  2. Fred Phelps died spiritually many years ago.

    JVW (9946b6)

  3. It’s my opinion that Fred probably worked out his scam when his civil rights advocacy yielded large Attorney’s Fees awards. IMO, he probably started thinking of ways to troll good people into interfering with speech, and then set out with his phalanx of attorneys to gather the fee awards.

    Quite a piece of work.

    Dustin (a22163)

  4. What would be really sad is where death turns out not to be a release, just a leaving off our mortal coil.

    gary gulrud (e2cef3)

  5. I do not like Fred Phelps. I think he stands for much of the worst nature of humanity. And there were days when I was so angry at him that I could imagine wanting to picket his funeral, in revenge.

    But funerals are for the living. The reason picketing funerals offends me is that doing so is a slap in the face of the people who have come to the funeral to grieve their loss. And the people who love Rev. Phelps? It is just as cruel to them to slap them this way as it was to all of Phelps’ victims.

    So .. I cannot picket Phelps’ funeral, because to do so would be, in a way, to become him.

    aphrael (083be6)

  6. Absent major repentance from Fred Phelps, one suspects that Mr Phelps may just (and justly) find himself with Yasser Arafat and Adolf son of Schicklgruber and the 19 from 9/11 … in way less than comfortable circumstances …

    Alastor (2e7f9f)

  7. I learned from a wise person that anger is based in fear.

    There are many reasons to avoid anger — asks the Buddhists! — but this one gives you permission to avoid it, in a way that few other reasons do.

    Patterico (9c670f)

  8. *Complimentary reference to Buddhism not necessarily an endorsement of entire religion. Certain restrictions may apply.*

    Patterico (9c670f)

  9. alive or dead, i would not void my bladder on his carcass, even were it on fire in the gutter.

    that being said, let me simply hope that he gets everything he’s earned in this life, and leave it at that.

    but if i ever get near his grave, he’ll get the same thing ima give Jane Fonda: the inevitable result of consuming a large plate of steamed asparagus and a quart or so of water in one sitting.

    redc1c4 (abd49e)

  10. In other charlatan news, Kevin Trudeau is going to prison.

    But wait, there’s more! if you act right now you can buy health care for $2,500 less than you are paying now*! Visit** and you also can keep your doctor***! You only have a few more days to enjoy this spectacular benefit. Act today and Obamcare also includes maternity benefits****. Plus, it takes away having waste time choosing which hospital for your care!

    You only have a few days! Act now! And if you are the among the first applicants, you are virtually assured that you can keep whatever insurance you have now*****!

    *Not really
    **If it works. It might!
    ***Not really
    ****Really. Even if you might be a male regardless of age.
    *****Depending on political expediency.

    (Obamacare LLC is not responsible for this post and is not obligated to fulfill promises made or implied. The FCC, FTA IRS, SEC, FDA and HHS have not tested nor approved this post. For concerns about this post, please visit or, but good luck with that. Ag80 has no idea what you may be reading at any particular time on the internet and if he did, he would turn you over to the authorities.)

    Ag80 (eb6ffa)

  11. this guy at von’s told me the best day of the year to buy asparagus is valentine’s day cause it’s always put on sale at a really good price

    i don’t know for sure if that’s true or not, but he seemed like he knew a lot about asparagus

    happyfeet (8ce051)

  12. it’s usually starting to produce locally ’round that time of year, so that would make sense.

    plus it presents well if you’re cooking a fancy meal for someone.

    redc1c4 (abd49e)

  13. i like to lightly steam mine in a skillet, until it just starts to soften, then transfer it to a warm plate, sprinkle with paramecium cheese to taste, then cover.

    dump & rinse skillet with hot water, then return to stove, adding butter sufficient to coat the spears to taste. add crushed/minced garlic and saute to taste, then add lemon juice to equal contents of the pan.

    bring mixture to a boil, remove from heat and carefully pour over the previously prepared spears.


    redc1c4 (abd49e)

  14. George Takei said this about Fred Phelps:

    I take no solace or joy in this man’s passing. We will not dance upon his grave, nor stand vigil at his funeral holding “God Hates Freds” signs, tempting as it may be.

    He was a tormented soul, who tormented so many. Hate never wins out in the end. It instead goes always to its lonely, dusty end.

    Tanny O'Haley (c0a74e)

  15. I did the pork with the pineapple and chipotle today in the slow cooker

    we’ll have the tacos for dinner tomorrow

    happyfeet (8ce051)

  16. Tanny, that was a classy quote.

    I hope no one disrespects his service. I think such a silence would speak loudly as to what was wrong with the Phelps Clan’s disrespect of so many others.

    I doubt it will happen, though. We do not live in an age of restraint.

    Dustin (a22163)

  17. I learned from a wise person that anger is based in fear.

    Comment by Patterico (9c670f) — 3/17/2014 @ 10:02 pm

    Learned it from Yoda you must have. Quoted it on your blog I did! Quote it again so that all may learn!

    “Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”

    Yoda (557254)

  18. The Reverend Phelps sought out publicity for years and years now; we should not give him more.

    The Dana who just doesn't care (3e4784)

  19. @ Patterico at #8;

    Buddhism sounds terrific, but somehow societies that have a strong Buddhist streak seem to treat common people like farm animals. China and medieval Japan were NOT good places to be a farmer.

    Regarding Phelps; My hope is that, having passed over, he is confronted with what he was and what he did in such a way that he owns it and can repent. That seems to me to be as painful a fate as any I can imagine, while being just and hopeful.

    C. S. P. Schofield (e8b801)

  20. I first saw Westboro Baptist Church in action in 1998. From my window. They had come to picket the Lakeview United Methodist Church. Its minister was undergoing an ecclesiastical trial for having performed a wedding ceremony between two men. There were about four or five of them, surrounded by police for their protection, and hundreds of counter-protesters. It reminded me of the Illinois Nazis’ march in Skokie almost 20 years earlier. Disgusting and pitiful at the same time. Which is largely my view of the whole Westboro Baptist gang. Disgusting and pitiful.

    They explicitly disavow racism, that’s true. “God did not say ‘Thou shalt not be black'”. But that’s about the only tolerance they show. They do include Jews in their condemnation and, I imagine, every other religion and sect which does not share their views.

    nk (dbc370)

  21. A Marine sergeant was to be buried a couple of towns away two years ago and it was rumored that the Phelps clan was going to show up. The local Baptist clergy thought it would be a good idea to reclaim the brand from Phelps and encouraged their flocks to turn out.
    Went viral. Doing a bit of crowd estimating, I figure 7000-10,000. On a slight hill past which the cortege would go is an assisted living facility. The folks were out there in their wheelchairs with flags.
    Phelps managed to bring people together in a spirit of love.

    Been said he didn’t go over to the dark side until after one of his kids had been assaulted at a park by a molester.

    Richard Aubrey (0605ef)

  22. sprinkle with paramecium cheese to taste

    Pretty sure you meant “Parmesan cheese”. I can’t imagine cheese made from single-celled organisms is very tasty :)

    Chuck Bartowski (11fb31)

  23. Mr Bartowski wrote:

    Pretty sure you meant “Parmesan cheese”. I can’t imagine cheese made from single-celled organisms is very tasty :)

    Can’t be any worse than real cheese, which is made from rotten, sour, clabbered milk. :(

    The food critic Dana (3e4784)

  24. That’s yogurt. Yogurt is made with bacteria. Cheese is partially digested milk. It’s made with lactase enzymes. The molds and bacteria are only embellishments afterwards.

    nk (dbc370)

  25. I think you’re paraphrasing Chris Rock.

    Rev Snow (f30385)

  26. Sounds like Politico finally remembered that ol’ “God Hates” Fred was a lifelong Democrat. Time to roll out the whitewash machine!

    PCachu (e072b7)

  27. Had a guest show me how to grill asparagus.
    Olive oil, parmesan cheese and seasoned salt, roll in.
    Put on charcoal grill. Key is to have the asparagus perpendicular to the grill wires.
    Made two pounds of it for the next batch of guests and I think they’d have fought to lick the platter if I hadn’t gotten it first.

    Richard Aubrey (0605ef)

  28. The thing to always remember about asparagus is that you can eat it raw. In other words, cook it only for the flavor you desire. Whether your way, Richard, or slightly blanched for a room temperature salad with tomato and feta (my favorite), or sauteed crispy on the outside, etc., etc.

    nk (dbc370)

  29. Nonetheless, I expect his funeral will be picketed and that his mourners (there will be some) will be outraged by it.

    Kevin M (dbcba4)

  30. 29. Come on, can’t a crow eat his carrion in peace?

    gary gulrud (e2cef3)

  31. Chuck Bartowski “Pretty sure you meant ‘Parmesan cheese’”. I can’t imagine cheese made from single-celled organisms is very tasty.”

    Just wait until the next report from the United Nations advocating weird food in the name of “sustainability”. They’re already saying we should eat bugs and worms.

    pst314 (ae6bd1)

  32. As someone said of Kim Philby years ago when he died: Fred Phelps died today, unfortunately of natural causes.

    Charles Curran (f1e643)

  33. Wierdly, the reports today are that Rev. Phelps was excommunicated from the WBC.

    aphrael (517536)

  34. Hey, guys ! Just because redc1c5 #13 said “paramecium cheese” is no reason to flagellate him ! Yes, it is one of the cilia things that he has said, but have we not all done such, over the years ?

    However, if he starts commenting about ‘bacterian camels’, he’ll just have to take his humps …

    Alastor (54b49a)

  35. (I am also guessing that iAutocorrect (aka automistake) contributed to the exact wording posted)

    Alastor (54b49a)

  36. Is paramecium cheese anything like head cheese?

    JD (bc236d)

  37. It can take a long time — longer than your life, sometimes — to recognize what you’ve done to someone or to yourself. Go in the peace you would not allow others, Fred Phelps.

    htom (412a17)

  38. personally i feel both ways. sad such a vile man will have died w/o seeing the error of his ways… and saying we should picket his funeral.

    I guess it comes from this. I have long felt that funerals were not about the dead, but the living. And those who are alive should get a good dose of their own stinking medicine. It might make them hesitate the next time they think about doing it to someone else.

    Aaron "Worthing" Walker (23789b)

  39. Is paramecium cheese anything like head cheese?

    No. Paramecium cheese is made from paramecia. Head cheese is made in the head.

    Chuck Bartowski (11fb31)

  40. “I do not like Fred Phelps. I think he stands for much of the worst nature of humanity. ”

    Oh, he’s not the worst, think Kermit Gosnell.

    Andy (b63f79)

  41. The first time I ever heard of Fred Phelps when was watching a talk show when I was on summer break from high school (about twenty years ago). At the time, they were known for picketing the funerals of those who died of AIDS.

    I never suspected that their mission would grow.

    Michael Ejercito (906585)

  42. “If only it were all so simple! If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?”
    ― Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, The Gulag Archipelago: 1918-1956

    nk (dbc370)

  43. @ Aaron,

    sad such a vile man will have died w/o seeing the error of his ways…

    None of us know whether or not Phelps will see the error of his ways. As long as he still has breath in his body, there is opportunity. That’s between him and the God whom he mocked every time he presumed to stand in a pulpit spewing hatred and vile, in the name of Jesus.

    What I believe is, if and when Phelps is humbled and sees the very wrongness of his ways, he will not be able to physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually bear the pain as he is hit with the full scope of his destructiveness. He will, at that time, be a broken and undone man. And God will forgive Him.

    This wouldn’t make Phelps a good man, it would make him a forgiven man. And it would reflect the mystery and redeeming gift that is God. Love personified.

    Dana (9a8f57)

  44. Well said, Dana.

    Colonel Haiku (945927)

  45. There is some good news these days.

    Dave (f5fb18)

  46. I would have identified Phelps as a Democrat in the title.

    JD (2bc676)

  47. Why isn’t the simpler and more accurate “we nag you because we’re bitches” gaining traction?

    Steve57 (ab7166)

  48. Just kidding. Based upon the indicators, it is.

    Steve57 (ab7166)

  49. RIP: Fred Phelps.

    Kevin M (dbcba4)

Powered by WordPress.

Page loaded in: 0.3594 secs.