Patterico's Pontifications


You’re a Doofus, Jerry Jones

Filed under: General — Patterico @ 9:16 am

The frustrations of an entire Metroplex, neatly summarized in a whimsical children’s song:

“The three words that define your player evaluation are as follows, and I quote: Stink! STANK! STUNK!


  1. P.S. I expect the blog to be back to full strength (whatever that means) January 6.

    Comment by Patterico (dbc7c0) — 12/30/2013 @ 9:17 am

  2. Awesomeness!

    Of course, my team stinks, too!

    Comment by The Oakland Raiders fan Dana (3e4784) — 12/30/2013 @ 9:24 am

  3. Green Bay beat the Bears but the only pleasure I got from it is the anguish of Bears fans. It’s all fixed anyway. The only honest spectator sport is Professional Mexican Midget Mud Wrestling.

    Comment by nk (dbc370) — 12/30/2013 @ 9:30 am

  4. Replaced it with another video with a funnier image.

    This is very popular in Dallas and Fort Worth these days. It’s airing on FM 98.7.

    Comment by Patterico (dbc7c0) — 12/30/2013 @ 9:30 am

  5. This link is vulgar, mean, homophobic, and not especially funny.

    Comment by nk (dbc370) — 12/30/2013 @ 9:33 am

  6. Well, I thought it was funny! Of course, I have no problem with vulgar, mean or ethnically/religiously/racially/sexually derogatory humor, no problem at all.

    Comment by The amused Dana (3e4784) — 12/30/2013 @ 9:37 am

  7. Would it be wrong of me to wonder if Tony Romo had season-ending surgery just so he wouldn’t have to play in yet another choke bowl?

    Comment by The snarky Dana (3e4784) — 12/30/2013 @ 9:38 am

  8. I watched the Philadelphia vs Dallas game and was heartened to see Kyle Orton doing a credible if not perfect job at quarterback. The ref’s screwed him in the last seconds with a false delay of game call due to the time keepers screwing up.

    Orton got screwed over in my opinion by the Broncos/McDaniels fiasco and I’d like to see him get a chance to play QB as a starter again.

    Comment by SPQR (768505) — 12/30/2013 @ 9:40 am

  9. Mrs. carlito is a cowboy fan. I am a Bears fan. We agree to root for both teams as long as they aren’t playing each other. I had the pleasure of freezing my tuchus off at the Monday night game, which she did not attend.

    Yesterday was tough all around. Jones really should fire himself.

    Comment by carlitos (49ef9f) — 12/30/2013 @ 9:42 am

  10. Eliminate revenue sharing, gate and TV/radio broadcast from the park.
    Eliminate the draft. Let the teams scout and sign players as they please.
    Eliminate salary caps or any other League interference with players’ pay.
    Eliminate the league-wide players contract and allow each team to negotiate individually with the union and/or individual player under normal rules of the National Labor Relations Act. Enforce the rule against secondary boycotts to prevent strikes by players without a grievance against a particular owner.
    Keep the NFL out of player conduct and discipline except in matters that directly impact the game such as fouls on the field and performance-enhancing drugs.

    The NFL has become to football, the game, like the alimentary canal is to food. It is very much like the teams are its wholly-owned subsidiaries and its only focus is to generate revenue. And its investors and executives (the owners) are happy as long as those checks at the end of the season have enough numerals before the decimal point.

    And nothing will change as long as all the seats are sold for the season, and as long as people buy Bud Lite.

    Comment by nk (dbc370) — 12/30/2013 @ 10:44 am

  11. For carlitos. Safe and consoling.

    Comment by nk (dbc370) — 12/30/2013 @ 11:09 am

  12. We were one minute away from a 49ers-Bears civil war in my home.

    Instead, we’ll all be cheering for the same side. The 49ers fans will be rooting for San Francisco to continue its recent string of success over Green Bay. And the Bears fans will be rooting against the Packers out of spite.

    Comment by aunursa (82afe2) — 12/30/2013 @ 11:24 am

  13. Don’t worry – it only took a couple of decades for Al Davis to die.

    Comment by JEA (fb1111) — 12/30/2013 @ 1:25 pm

  14. The only honest spectator sport is Professional Mexican Midget Mud Wrestling.

    Arguably true but only if you limit it to the Eastern Amateur League. The fix is in on the Western one. And don’t even MENTION the pro leagues.


    Comment by IGotBupkis, "Not At Home For Xmas" (155353) — 12/31/2013 @ 12:34 am

  15. Folks, Dallas went downhill when Jones defacto fired Jimmy Johnson because Johnson didn’t want to do what Jones wanted him to do… and then fired Barry Switzer (an insult, for sure) to replace him. Switzer did well as long as he had Johnson’s players, but as those left Dallas began its long, sad decline.

    But as long as fans keep rewarding Jones with money, nothing is going to change.

    Look at the Bucs — it took them, what, 15 years to get a winning season? From 76 to 95 they went 95-216-1 — losing 69.5% of their games.

    Fans kept coming — why should the management/ownership care?

    You’re a Dallas fan and want to fix this, you need to briefly abandon your team, and make it publicly clear why. Give Jones a few seasons of 10% attendance… see how fast he gets his useless buttf*** ass out of things, or winds up selling it to someone who is smarter.

    If it’s clear that the Dallas venue will support a team (and it is fairly obvious) then no one is going to buy it and move it to a less supportive venue, and pretty much every one that might exist IS less supportive.

    Comment by IGotBupkis, "Not At Home For Xmas" (155353) — 12/31/2013 @ 12:49 am

  16. then fired Barry Switzer

    then hired Barry Switzer

    Duh. Typo. DOH!

    Comment by IGotBupkis, "Not At Home For Xmas" (155353) — 12/31/2013 @ 12:50 am

  17. One of Jones’ best friends, Harold Simmons, passed away Saturday night. I guess $19B still doesn’t buy immortality.

    Andy Granatelli died about the same time.

    Texas lost two of its native sons who did pretty good…

    I met both and of the two, I was most impressed with Simmons. Very shrewd even in light conversation.
    Granatelli could sell you a pint of oil for the price of a quart

    Comment by steveg (794291) — 12/31/2013 @ 12:59 am

  18. Comment by steveg (794291) — 12/31/2013 @ 12:59 am

    Granatelli could sell you a pint of oil for the price of a quart

    That happens in any football or baseball stadium when it comes to soda. The small bottles and the big bottles sell for about the same price. If they didn’t Mayor Bloomberg would never have come up with th idea.

    Just about his last act as mayor was signing a bill outlawing the use of E-cigarettes in I think every place he outlawed the use of cigarettes. I don’t think that’s agood idea.

    Comment by Sammy Finkelman (b9404b) — 12/31/2013 @ 5:55 am

  19. @13. That may be so, but as Dana (@2) would attest, it wants to make one believe in zombies. Somehow Al doesn’t quite leave us….

    Next year!!

    Comment by gramps, the original (64b8ca) — 12/31/2013 @ 3:23 pm

  20. Sammy


    Comment by steveg (794291) — 12/31/2013 @ 9:13 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post.

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.

Powered by WordPress.

Page loaded in: 0.1939 secs.