Patterico's Pontifications


Dave Barry’s End of Year Roundup, Plus, Eliot Spitzer Liked to Choke His Call Girls

Filed under: General — Patterico @ 10:43 pm

Well, there’s certainly nothing disturbing about this:

Eliot Spitzer lusted after violence, a former hooker says in a new tell-all book — revealing in graphic detail how the love gov pinned her to a bed inside a posh, Murray Hill apartment and then gripped her by the neck until she feared for her safety.

The violence was scripted by Spitzer, who wanted his hooker to follow a role-play dialogue in which she would pretend she had just taken a self-defense class.

The kinky politician would then pretend to test her skills by announcing, “Well, then, let’s see if you learned anything,” and attacking her.

“The more struggle there was, the more he was into it,” foxy blond escort Rebecca Woodard recalls of her sadistic tryst with Spitzer, whom she serviced for $1,500 at the behest of notorious hooker booker Kristin Davis.

Can’t we get this guy elected to something?

Dave Barry has great commentary on this in his 2013 roundup:

It was the Year of the Zombies. Not in the sense of most of humanity dying from a horrible plague and then reanimating as mindless flesh-eating ghouls. No, it was much worse than that. Because as bad as a zombie apocalypse would be, at least it wouldn’t involve the resurrection of Anthony Weiner’s most private part.

We thought that thing was out of our lives forever, but suddenly there it was again, all over the Internet, as Weiner came back from the political grave like the phoenix, the mythical bird that arose from the ashes to run for mayor of New York and use the name “Carlos Danger” to text obscene photos of its privates to somebody named “Sydney Leathers.”

Speaking of pathologically narcissistic sex weasels: Also coming back from the dead in 2013 to seek elective office in New York (What IS it with New York?) was Eliot “Client 9” Spitzer, who ran for city comptroller under the slogan: “If you can’t trust a proven sleazebag with your municipal finances, who CAN you trust?”

Read the whole thing. I may quote more from it in the next couple of days, because a) hey, easy content! and b) it’s very funny. Dave has a very solid outlook on Obama and the fiscal disaster we face in the this country. One more quote:

[January] begins with a crisis in Washington, a city that — despite having no industries and a workforce consisting almost entirely of former student council presidents — manages to produce 93 percent of the nation’s crises. This particular crisis is a “fiscal cliff” caused by the fact that for years the government has been spending spectacular quantities of money that it does not have, which has resulted in a mess that nobody could possibly have foreseen unless that person had a higher level of financial awareness than a cucumber. At the last minute, congressional leaders and the White House reach an agreement under which the government will be able to continue spending spectacular quantities of money that it does not have, thus temporarily averting the very real looming danger that somebody might have to make a decision.


Eliot Spitzer for nothing; Dave Barry for President.

35 Responses to “Dave Barry’s End of Year Roundup, Plus, Eliot Spitzer Liked to Choke His Call Girls”

  1. I suspect that Dave Barry is too wise to become President, having gotten over his “I’m going to be king of the WORLD!” feeling when he hit 21 or so (like most of us do.)

    htom (412a17)

  2. Swear to God I thought Dave Barry stopped writing ten years ago. Glad to see his wit is still about him — I liked him a lot back in the day.

    JVW (709bc7)

  3. (What IS it with New York?)

    New Yorkers.

    I guess somebody took “Send us … the wretched refuge of your teeming shore …” literally.

    nk (dbc370)

  4. Elliot Spitzer for president, Porn movies association. I will never look at him again and not imagine him panting heavily and saying, “whose is it bitch!!..” lol.

    The Emperor (3db71b)

  5. Spitzer and Carlos Danger deserve each other.
    In a cell built for one.

    mg (31009b)

  6. Gee, and Silda dumped him just for that? Who’d a thunk it?

    The amazed Dana (3e4784)

  7. Eliot Spitzer’s lawyer denied this – I don’t know if it is true. We didn’t hear this before, although we heard some details, like about his keeping his socks on. She would have told other people involved in the organization. The question are there (other?) lies detectable in the book?

    In other Eliot Spitzer news, he seems to have taken up with his 31-year old former spokeswoman during his campaign for Comptroller – maybe he hired her because of her looks, and her character.

    The affair may have started only after the campaign ended. It wasn’t right away, people think.

    She’s now working (since September) as press spokesperson (Communications Direcor) for Bill de Blasio. She stopped showing after this became front page news last Monday. de Blasio won’t say if she would stayon after he becomes mayor, but he said he respected her privacy.

    She took part in Twitter wars, I think, and was part of President Obama’s rapid response team.

    For four years (2005-2009) she was the girlfriend of Missouri State Senator Jeff Smith who wound up in jail for a little more than a year for obstruction of a federal probe of a 2004 election involving campaign coordination with an independent group called Voters for Truth, whch ran negative advertisements against his opponent ina race for Congress.

    He’s one of the bloggers at sommething called and has contributed a chapter to the book: The Recovering Politician’s Twelve Step Program to Survive Crisis.

    See also:

    The affsir went pretty far before it got published. After pictures of him with Lis Smith were published, Eliot Spitzer and his wife released a joint statement saying their marriage is over and they wouldn’t say any more. No papers have yet been filed and it is reported that one thing delaying it is that they are trying to find a way to settle things without forcing the sale of any buildings.

    It was also reported that Eliot Spitzer had gone to see her family, who finally gave their OK.

    Sammy Finkelman (b9404b)

  8. Yes, her judgement is crackerjack, they belong like peas in a pod.

    narciso (3fec35)

  9. In yet other news, The di Blasio campaign released a slick video with melancholy music and silent movie type captions [a lot of people have thse problems etc.] on December 24 that revealed that his 19-year old daughter Chiara, had had an alcohol and drug abuse problem.

    She is apparntly being honest, but the alleged motive is totally dishonest. It’s not in any way her idea, and it’s not because it comes up in families around then.

    They obviously wanted to get this out there before it came out in a different way.

    It seems like she was pretty much neglected by her parents and lonely, and kind of fearful of people so that she needed to be friends with everyone, and the people was with – well she drank and partied in general, at first it wasn’t anything and then it became a really big thing. It is not clear where and when this started, but she did say flying 3,000 miles away (to go to cllege in california) didn’t solve her problems.

    She said she would say OK I won’t drink alcohol and then she would smoke weed, and then she would say I won’t smoke weed and she would drink alcohol. It is implied this is all over now.

    She’s been through some kind of therapy and also says she was able to take part in her father’s campaign – and do other things – because she had stopped. And her grades are up.

    Well, it’s a good thing anyway that di Blasio is so scared. Te crime rate (or murder rate) is dropping preciptiously the last 3 years, and di Blasio now has a high bar to clear. And he can black support for this. A black “community leader” who workled with the NYPD was on TV yesterday about a sene at Kiings Plaza where there was a flash crowd that went wild. Saying this kind of disrespecting has got to be stopped.

    As one measure, at least for now, no unaccompanied persons under 18 will be allowed into the shopping center.

    Meanwhile, in northern New Jersey, around Newark and some other places, car jackings are out of control. One factor is, it’s gotten pretty hard to steal cars without the owners being present. Np one should go to Newark Airport in an expensive late mdel car to pick anyone. But selling the car and exporting it abraod is only one motive.

    Sammy Finkelman (b9404b)

  10. It’s probably nothing:

    Things will return to normal on the 2nd.

    Whatever normal is become.

    gary gulrud (e2cef3)

  11. Why would the home of Scarborough, Ratner and Goodwin make up such a thing;

    narciso (3fec35)

  12. Further from the piece;

    Were there any new trends in 2013? Yes, but they were not good. Kale, for example. Suddenly this year restaurants started putting kale into everything, despite the fact that it is an unappetizing form of plant life that until recently was used primarily for insulation. Even goats will not eat it. Goats, when presented with kale, are like, “No, thanks, we’ll just chew on used seat cushions.”

    narciso (3fec35)

  13. In a perfect world, Spitzer would be throttling teh Chimperor.

    Colonel Haiku (53f59e)

  14. 13. We grew some kale this summer. It looked great into November unmolested.

    gary gulrud (e2cef3)

  15. Mind you, he’s the sanest person on the Norridge
    city council, I mean Toronto;

    Did anything good happen in 2013? Yes! There was one shining ray of hope in the person of Toronto Mayor Rob Ford , who admitted that, while in office, he smoked crack cocaine, but noted, by way of explanation, that this happened “probably in one of my drunken stupors.” This was probably the most honest statement emitted by any elected official this year, and we can only hope that more of our leaders follow Mayor Ford’s lead in 2014. (We mean being honest, not smoking crack in a drunken stupor.) (Although really, how much worse would that be?)

    narciso (3fec35)

  16. Di Blasio will be sworn in as mayor by Bill Clinton.

    Sammy Finkelman (b9404b)

  17. OK, we already knew that the distinguished Mr Spitzer liked rough sex, from Ashley Dupre, and now we hear that he liked to choke his sexual partners. Didn’t Lis Smith know about any of this going into this affair? One would think that a professional PR woman would understand that nothing stays secret, and that gossip always follows celebrities.

    Which means that there are a whole bunch of people wondering if Miss Smith goes along with Mr Spitzer’s kinks . . . .

    But, she made her own bed, so . . . .

    The Dana who doesn't really feel sorry for her (3e4784)

  18. Why feel sorry for either? This isn’t the first time her sex life has been made public. She likes “bad boys” and he likes expensive _______. And with her, it’s legal.

    nk (dbc370)

  19. Oh, you needn’t worry: I never felt sorry for either of them. For Silda, I do have sympathy, but it is tempered by the fact she was an enabler.

    The brutally honest Dana (3e4784)

  20. I like kale.

    carlitos (49ef9f)

    Words: (c) 7/91 Leslie Fish
    Tune: “I Love Paris” (Gershwin)

    I beat bottoms for a living.
    I beat bottoms fat and thin.
    I beat bottoms with a crop or cat-o’-nine-tails.
    I beat bottoms with bizarre things, such as lunch pails.
    I beat bottoms red and rosey.
    I beat bottoms black and blue.
    I beat bottoms. Why, oh why, do I beat bottoms?
    Because they pay me to!

    I beat bottoms for amusement.
    I beat bottoms night and day.
    I make men dress up in nylons, with a corset,
    Chains and dildoes — if it won’t fit, I can force it.
    I beat bottoms like an artist,
    Lashes dancing bun-to-bun.
    I beat bottoms. Why, oh why, do I beat bottoms?
    Because it’s so much fun!

    I beat bottoms. What’s your fetish?
    State your limits and your code:
    Bondage, ass-play, or slave-training, humiliation,
    Latex, leather or cross-dressing, feminization.
    I beat bottoms. I play nasty:
    Any game your dream directs.
    I beat bottoms. Why, oh why, do I beat bottoms?
    ‘Cause there’s no safer sex!

    — “Mistress Cynthia”

    Milhouse (50cb78)

  22. The statute of limitations on sympathy for New York City has officially expired.

    CrustyB (5a646c)

  23. Oops, Porter, not Gershwin

    Milhouse (50cb78)

  24. 18. Comment by The Dana who doesn’t really feel sorry for her (3e4784) — 12/30/2013 @ 9:33 am

    OK, we already knew that the distinguished Mr Spitzer liked rough sex, from Ashley Dupre, and now we hear that he liked to choke his sexual partners.

    The only thing is, that story about Spitzer choking her is not true.

    She belonged to a different prostitution ring than the one he used.

    Although she later went on to work for Anna Gristina, [I think only after Spitzer had resigned as Governor butthe newspaper accounts of what the book says aren’t clear enough] it is supposed to have taken place while she was working for Kristin Davis.

    And neither one is the prostitution ring where Eliot Spitzer was client #9, which was the Emperor’s Club VIP.

    It is not clear to me if Eliot Spitzer ever used Anna Gristina’s ring, but she told the Daily News, or some source the Daily News relied on, that she doesn’t think Eliot Spitzer saw Rebecca Woodard because she was a “B-level girl.”

    Eliot Spitzer’s spokeswoman Lisa Linden told the Daily News that Rebecca Woodard’s story (alias Rebecca Kade in her book) is a “complete fabrication” and both former Manhattan District Attorney Robert Morgenthau and New York City Police Commissioner Raymond Kelly have said Spitzer was not connected with Kristin Davis case.

    And that inasmuch as “New York law enforcement has already debunked the lies in this book anyone who reprints it is knowingly repeating falsehoods. Eliot had no ties whatsoever to the person in question.”

    Kristin Davis has gone around for some time claiming that Eliot Spitzer was a client. If he was, it wasn’t around the time she was arrested, and Rebecca places this encounter in 2007. Kirsten Davis is apparently endorsing this story.

    Rebecca Woodard also claims a second Governor, whom she does not name, was also a client.

    Sammy Finkelman (b9404b)

  25. In addition to telling this story about Eliot Spitzer, Rebecca Woodard claims in her book that the Manhattan DA’s office was, in effect, her pimp.

    She says they told her to go undercover and wear a wire, and in so doing continue prostitution, but they seized all her earnings that she reported to them.

    The ADA who allegedly approved this arrangement is not named in the book, but outside facts would mean he was Mark Crooks, who worked the Official Corruption Unit. She also says that she doubts that Morgenthau knew about this, which would mean somebody pocketed the money.

    She claims she didn’t tell the DA’s office about all her clients or else she would have had no money.

    She claims that her court appointed defense counsel, which she eventually got, former prosecutor Seema Iyer, was flabbergasted to hear about this arrangement and told her she could bring a lawsuit baaginst the city, and that the ADA who took over the case said all her work would be inadmissible in court and she was later told to wear a wire again. Maybe in 2011. That she wore a wire in an unsuccesful effort to get a man to confess that he’d once asked her to procure ayoung boy might be true or she wouldn’t place it in 2011.

    Looking more closely, she claims she was already working for Anna Gristina in 2007.

    Sammy Finkelman (b9404b)

  26. I recommend Robert Tanenbaum’s 2010 novel, “Betrayed.” In the Prologue, you are introduced to a character obviously based on Spitzer, a well-connected liberal judge who has choked to death a call girl. She came from a ring using rich girls to service wealthy clients.

    DN (80d1fe)

  27. @2 JVW: Dave Barry did quit writing a weekly column a few years back; mostly he writes novels now. But he still does a Year in Review column in his traditional style.

    Joshua (9ede0e)

  28. 17. SF: Di Blasio will be sworn in as mayor by Bill Clinton.

    Actually, that is theater – he can’t legally do that. He has no authority. (except maybe Boss, or would-be Boss, but that’s not a legal position.)

    Later on, someone else will officially swear in Bill dse Blasio as mayor.

    I think the saqme thing might have happened when he officiated at the wedding of Anthony Weiner and Huma Abedin.

    Bill Clinton was close to three candidates for mayor this year: Anthony Weiner, Bill de Blasio, and the Republican who came in second in their primary, billionaire Gristede’s owner John Catsimatidis.

    Sammy Finkelman (d22d64)

  29. Mr Finkelman wrote:

    I think the saqme thing might have happened when he officiated at the wedding of Anthony Weiner and Huma Abedin.

    And look how well that has turned out! :)

    “Do you, Carlos, take Huma to be . . . .”

    Perhaps if you will recall the Emperor Ming’s wedding vows with Dale Arden in the 1980 version of Flash Gordon.

    The snarky Dana (3e4784)

  30. “Do you, Huma, take Anthony to be your husband and stay as loyal to him as Hillary does to me?”

    Sammy Finkelman (d22d64)

  31. Sammy, you’re on a roll.

    nk (dbc370)

  32. Kale does make extremely tasty pesto. They say kale is a very healthful superfood. But after what they said about global warming and Obamacare Ima little skeptical about just about anything they say anymore.

    elissa (7635d7)

  33. Bill De Blasio’s press conference on Sunday when he announced the appointment of former U.s. Attorney Zachary Carter as the new Corpration counsel (city’s chief lawyer) was mostly taken up by questions about something else.

    Reporters wanted to know if Chiara had ever used any other drugs besides alcohol and marijuana. He wouldn’t say. He said the video speaks for itself.

    Now you see it’s actually highly likely there was something else uncomplementary. That could be whay they wanted to get the story out. Now anything will not be as newsworthy.

    But it quite oribable that she, at least once, used cocaine or ecstasy, or was close to somebody with a criminal record, or one of her companions was involved in a drunk driving accident or something.

    de Blasio also said that, he, not the campaign, paid for the video, although it was released by the campaign, but wouldn’t say how much it cost him.

    Sammy Finkelman (b9404b)

  34. Two American basketball players arrested in Benghazi, Libya.

    No report on the whereabouts of Dennis Rodham.,0,1067970.story

    They were released, and expected to be repleased before also. Libyan army says it arrested them because they were at a campus normally closed to non-students. They were contracted to Al-Hilal basketball club. One is of Cameroonian origin.

    Sammy Finkelman (d22d64)

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