Megyn Kelly recently told viewers that Jesus and Santa Claus are white, and this sparked a great national controversy because something something I don’t even know how to finish this sentence. If you forgot who Megyn Kelly is, here is a reminder:
Anyway, Allahpundit wrote about this, because hey, blog traffic! and did his usual entertaining job with the topic. However, I must take strong exception to this:
Whatever race you happen to think Santa is, can we all at least agree that he’s a liberal? I take no pleasure in drawing that conclusion but it is what it is. The guy hands out presents that others have paid for and then expects to be celebrated for it. His last name might as well be Kennedy. Get a job, Santa.
Excuse me, Mr. Candy-Ass RINO, but Santa has a job, and he does it in a remarkably efficient manner. He performs a valuable service, delivering presents all across the world in a single night, while facing logistical nightmares that would terrify the average liberal. Here are some other indications that Santa is definitely a conservative.
- He makes a list and checks it twice. Lefties wouldn’t bother re-checking the list, if they could bother to make it at all. Obama would delegate the list-making to Valerie Jarrett and go play a round of golf.
- He cares if you’ve been bad or good. If you’ve been good, you get your presents. If you’ve been bad, you get a lump of coal. He believes in personal responsibility and consequences for bad behavior. What part about any of this sounds leftish to you?
- He has a large workforce, albeit of elves, and knows what it means to make a payroll. You think elves work for free? And I’m told they’re not always that easy to work with. Managing problems like this tends to make one conservative.
- He has chosen to locate his business in a remote and extremely cold location. I hear he made this decision because the North Pole is one of the few places on Earth not under the jurisdiction of a government, meaning Santa is free from laws, taxation, and regulation. This is an indication of rugged individualism. [UPDATE: A reader informs me that Canada recently laid claim to the North Pole, eh?]
I do have to acknowledge two counterarguments. He does take credit for others’ good deeds, which is kind of lefty behavior. And he seems to be quite a fan of the surveillance state — he sees you when you’re sleeping? He knows if you’re awake? Really? — which is a disturbing characteristic that crosses ideological lines, as Bush and Obama both went overboard in that area.
Listen, I’m not saying the guy’s perfect. But look: Reagan signed an amnesty bill. On balance, Santa is pretty danged conservative.