The National Institutes of Health (NIH) has awarded $1.5 million to study biological and social factors for why “three-quarters” of lesbians are obese and why gay males are not, calling it an issue of “high public-health significance.”
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BWH first received a $778,622 grant for the study in 2011, followed by a $741,378 grant in 2012, totaling $1,520,000. The project has the potential to be a five-year study.
The grants list a “project end date” and a “budget end date” of June 30, 2016. The researchers said the subject is one of “high public-health significance.”
The story says the future of the study is questionable because of sequestration. Air traffic controllers, meat inspectors, and TSA personnel? Definitely out! Get ready for long lines, crashed planes, and spoiled meat. Studies about fat lesbians? We’ll have to look into that further!
This is like that Krugman bankruptcy story, right? This is obviously a satirical story that CNS News got suckered by, right? Onion editors? Daily Currant editors? Who’s hiding behind the curtain, waiting to jump out and yell “you’ve been punked!”
If this story is true, the real shame of it lies in thinking of other ways that $1.5 million could have been spent. With $1.5 million, Obama and his pals could be eating Wagyu beef for weeks. They could crank up the thermostat in the Oval Office high enough to grow orchids for months. Hell, maybe Michelle wouldn’t have to settle for Beyonce at her 50th! Here’s $1.5 million, honey. Now you can afford to have Taylor Swift perform!
(That one was for Kanye West.)
Oh. You were thinking maybe $1.5 million could keep White House tours going for months or years.
Maybe. But if you explain to the children who won’t get to see the White House that we’re using the money to see why lesbians get fat, I’m sure they would understand.