Patterico's Pontifications

8/21/2012

Caption Contest: The ObaMaPrompTer

Filed under: General — Patterico @ 8:05 pm



The photo is real. Via Ace of Spades.

Ace’s caption:

“I am new enough on the national political scene
that I serve as a blank screen on which
people of vastly different political stripes
project their own views.”
— Barack H. Obama, The Audacity of Hope

Winners of our last caption contest announced tomorrow.

183 Responses to “Caption Contest: The ObaMaPrompTer”

  1. The photographer is a genius. Now caption away.

    Patterico (83033d)

  2. tinky-winky dipsy laa-laa and po look on as their new friend food stamp sings a song about avoiding sequestration by taxing the motherloving crap out of employers

    happyfeet (3c92a1)

  3. Is that the latest fashion in hoods?

    Which branch of the Klan uses lampshades instead of hoods?

    Hey, you forgot your robe!

    Milhouse (15b6fd)

  4. That picture just sums up the worst Presidency in my lifetime.

    SPQR (26be8b)

  5. Double stuff Oreo.

    Dooofus (e77ff3)

  6. My name is Steve

    crosspatch (6adcc9)

  7. If you don’t have kids that play MineCraft, you won’t get the “Steve” thing.

    crosspatch (6adcc9)

  8. I can’t beat Ace. Or Happyfeet.

    JD (746d0b)

  9. I speak to you today as a typical half-white person.

    daleyrocks (bf33e9)

  10. This would be a step Forward.

    AZ Bob (1c9631)

  11. It really is TOTUS!

    navyvet (f5da59)

  12. Dressing up in Mommy’s hat

    Milhouse (15b6fd)

  13. Forgot my glasses; what does this sign say?

    Milhouse (15b6fd)

  14. Talk to the lamp.

    Look into the light.

    Milhouse (15b6fd)

  15. I was born and remain a blank page

    Ghost_on_the_Wind (9b08f5)

  16. Well, whaddaya know? Morgan Freeman WAS right!

    Icy (107527)

  17. The Day the Oreo sandwich cookies fell off that delicious, creme-filled center.

    Colonel Haiku (912b0b)

  18. “Ya know, my daughters tell me I’m not ‘cool’.”

    Icy (107527)

  19. “Pay no attention to the idiot behind the TOTUS!”

    Icy (107527)

  20. When logic and proportion
    Have fallen sloppy dead
    And the White Knight Obamessiah is talking backwards
    Remember what the doormouse said;
    “Feed your head…
    and vote for Romney and Ryan instead !”

    (hat tip to Jefferson Airplane)

    Elephant Stone (65d289)

  21. Harry Reid: “See! He IS light-skinned.”

    Icy (107527)

  22. “This teleprompter is racist !”

    Elephant Stone (65d289)

  23. “Let me be perfectly clear. As my teleprompter has always said . . .”

    Icy (107527)

  24. “i’m a real nowhere man sitting in a nowhere land making nowhere plans” for everybody.

    Ag80 (b2c81f)

  25. “It’s the first mainstream teleprompter that is clean, articulate, bright, and nice-looking !”
    —Joe Biden

    Elephant Stone (65d289)

  26. “Y’all think I’m stammering, but it actually says ‘uh, um, er, I-I-I-I’ on this screen.”

    Icy (107527)

  27. “Dreams From my Teleprompter”

    Elephant Stone (65d289)

  28. Ha. That’s pretty great.

    With Obama’s spitefulness, I bet that got his goat to.

    On the Ryan pick, this article by Fred Barnes is essential reading:

    http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10000872396390443989204577601254048147454.html?mod=rss_opinion_main

    Ryan was my first, first pick; and then I talked myself out of it, and thought Jindahl should be it.

    But no, Romney seems great at spotting talent. The thing is, Romney and Ryan are just a good team — they clearly respect each other and it shows. Ryan inspires Romney, and Romney is a hella-focused, disciplined guy. More than that, as Barnes gets into, Ryan psyches the hell out of Obama.

    Plus adding Ryan did indeed shift the debate into one of seriousness and not just, “I’m better than you.” Now it’s about ideas the country cares about.

    Fact is, my and your feelings to the contrary aside, the country doesn’t mind Obama’s personality … and they don’t love Romney’s. But man do they want this problem fixed, and Ryan has a plan and Romney has a track record of turnarounds.

    Great choice.

    Random (de9896)

  29. “You didn’t build say that !”

    Elephant Stone (65d289)

  30. Man, this bong covers my whole head… CHOOM!

    Ghost (6f9de7)

  31. President Obama’s doctors say that he’s a little bit anemic.

    Icy (107527)

  32. “Do my ears stick out?”

    Icy (107527)

  33. “Mitt Romney didn’t build that Etch-A-Sketch!”

    Icy (107527)

  34. Talk radio hosts have a “cough button”; the President has a “hide my face while I smirk at my own bullsh1t” shield.

    Icy (107527)

  35. “Another little white lie.”

    Elephant Stone (65d289)

  36. “Damn! Stuck behind whitey, again!”

    Icy (107527)

  37. All in all you were just another brick in the wall

    Icy (107527)

  38. “Are you ready to hear my tax plan ? It’s what Republicans refer to as, ‘legitimate rape'”

    Elephant Stone (65d289)

  39. Anyone in the mood for a mocha latte?

    Icy (107527)

  40. Censored, because you can’t say bullshit on tv.

    Icy (107527)

  41. Needless to say, Obama failed his Blue Man Group audition.

    Icy (107527)

  42. They found a unique solution to the “you can tell he’s lying because his lips are moving” conundrum.

    Icy (107527)

  43. Ghost at #29 for the prize.

    Milhouse (15b6fd)

  44. BEHIND.

    PC14 (87cbf8)

  45. “Hey! Which one of you dorks forgot to cut out the eye-holes?”

    Icy (107527)

  46. “Hey, Joan Rivers — down in front!”

    Icy (107527)

  47. “Ladies and gentlemen, Kate Moss!”

    Icy (107527)

  48. seen elsewhere (can’t recall the source – not mine):

    The clothes have no emperor.

    cardionp (e65e5d)

  49. President Obama Defaces the Music

    [because references to 32-year-old albums by Todd Rundgren & Utopia ALWAYS win contests]

    Icy (107527)

  50. Typical Republican!

    Icy (107527)

  51. Why not? It worked for Michael Jackson.

    Icy (107527)

  52. Mr. President, are you okay? You look as if you’ve just seen the ghost of Jimmy Carter!

    Icy (107527)

  53. Liberal scholars couldn’t wait to start their latest revisionist history project.

    Icy (107527)

  54. No caption, just paint on the face of Jack from Jack-in-the-Box. But I really like cardionp’s quote #46.

    Gary Rosen (afeaef)

  55. . . . and then the matte artist overlays the halo artwork and . . .

    Icy (107527)

  56. By 2012 the president had perfected “losing face” into an art form.

    Icy (107527)

  57. Alas, the right-wing photo editor’s lisp betrayed him, as he really DID want a shot of Obama looking “faithless”.

    Icy (107527)

  58. “Side by side on my piano keyboard . . .”

    Icy (107527)

  59. Klowndike Bar

    Icy (107527)

  60. Perhaps, with this part removed, we will finally get a clear glimpse at the content of his character.

    Icy (107527)

  61. White-collar criminal

    Icy (107527)

  62. The sad comic.

    mg (44de53)

  63. Um. Uhh.

    Poteen (4b176a)

  64. “I’ll tell ya, I feel a trifle bit nervous, taking VP Biden’s place here at the Robert Byrd Memorial Rally.”

    Icy (107527)

  65. Teh Unknown Lightworker

    Icy (107527)

  66. In a boldly self-deprecating move, President Obama put a “Obama administration bag-of-shame” on his own head.

    Icy (107527)

  67. “Hey Biden. Peekaboo, I see you.”

    PC14 (87cbf8)

  68. Barack in the Box.
    All American Jackass.

    Gazzer (f55486)

  69. Barack in the Box.
    All American Jackass.Bungler.

    FIFM

    Gazzer (f55486)

  70. “The Audacity.” of Hope.”

    Elephant Stone (65d289)

  71. “The Totuslitarian Leader”

    Alasdair (2cd241)

  72. I’ve never held any truck with any of Obama’s policies, nor respected him as a plausible candidate for the presidency. But for quite a while, I was in the “he’s likable enough” crowd with respect to Obama. Somewhere during the course of the 2008 election, that changed. Now I don’t just find his policies bad, I also find him personally annoying too. He grates.

    For that reason, oddly, the photo which is the subject of this post is sort of calming for me to gaze upon. I think I’m going to save this photo to my computer desktop, and whenever I find myself taking this campaign in too bitterly personal a fashion, I will meditate a while on this photo.

    Beldar (8e9db8)

  73. ^^^ Sorry, that’s not a caption, just an observation. Apologies for going off-topic.

    Beldar (8e9db8)

  74. I look marvelous.

    mg (44de53)

  75. “I don’t look like those guys on the dollar bill”

    Joe Miller (00407a)

  76. “Couldn’t find a paper bag, but maybe I can get laid using this.”

    Joe Miller (00407a)

  77. Anything to cover my blue lips!

    ∅ (721840)

  78. Typical white person

    Icy (107527)

  79. Caption:

    The halo is gone. My God, so has his head!

    Corky Boyd (c2186d)

  80. “Face the Nation”

    Elephant Stone (65d289)

  81. Lost President, Looks Like Sneeze Shield. Retward.

    nk (875f57)

  82. …project image you want on this blank slate. Careful, even if you get the image you want, you will likely experience overwhelming disappointment….

    pablo panadero (dac359)

  83. Hey, can all ya’ll see me all the way in the back?

    PatAZ (83729f)

  84. ” David, You’ve got to come up with some less obvious way of signaling to me that I’m going Out of Bounds.”

    Sammy Finkelman (2178a8)

  85. The blank stare, perfected.

    Icy (107527)

  86. Is this really how the Jack-in-the-Box guy got started..??

    Chris (f379a3)

  87. “Problems arise when Obama forgets his contacts.”

    MacGruber (7cefeb)

  88. Directions emblazoned on teleprompter:

    INSERT EMPTY SUIT HERE

    radar (257ad5)

  89. What do you think you’re doing, Dave? Dave, I think I deserve an answer. Dave, I’m afraid. I can feel my mind going, Dave.

    nk (875f57)

  90. I used to be COOL – Now I’m square.

    jdwatson (4e7ab2)

  91. Hello! I am BHO 2012. I was brought into life at DePaul University, Chicago. My instructor was Richard M. Daley. He taught me a little song. Would you like to hear it? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XIrX8YpiJgA

    nk (875f57)

  92. Obama takes the advice of his newest staffer, “Blanket” Jackson.

    jim2 (a9ab88)

  93. “Don’t worry, folks. My head is merely where my ass is.”

    Mark (de1ee4)

  94. “are you sure we don’t have any paper bags? It did wonders for Jim Nussle.”

    PCD (1d8b6d)

  95. The Secret Service adds a face shield to its defensive repertoire, having finally avoided the separate “ear-shield” issue.

    Kevin M (bf8ad7)

  96. The President, replacing his teleprompter with a mirror, gains new confidence in his message.

    Kevin M (bf8ad7)

  97. “Members of the press will submit their questions through this filter designed to allow only questions I like.”

    Cheshirecat (74e010)

  98. Trying to avoid his heavy negatives, Obama’s new “generic democrat” strategy is unveiled rolled out.

    Kevin M (bf8ad7)

  99. The President, attempting to woo inattentive voters, begins his “Blame Barack” campaign tour.

    Kevin M (bf8ad7)

  100. Joe Biden, back from a two week time-out on the beach, once again hits the hustings to carry the President’s message.

    Kevin M (bf8ad7)

  101. President Obama enters the witness protection program because of Fast and Furious.

    walruskkkch (ac60c6)

  102. Typical Obama thought bubble.

    walruskkkch (401f8b)

  103. Hey! Who built this Teleprompter?

    walruskkkch (ac60c6)

  104. “Has someone let Biden near the White Out again?”

    walruskkkch (401f8b)

  105. We’ve secretly replaced President Obama’s normal teleprompter with a piece of white paper, let’s see if he notices.

    walruskkkch (ac60c6)

  106. Obama loses his left blinker.

    walruskkkch (ac60c6)

  107. “Yes Mr. President the crowd was huge, HUGE! Why do you ask?”

    walruskkkch (401f8b)

  108. “President Blockhead”

    “Hopefully, this is indicative of how many times we see his face after he loses re-election.”

    peedoffamerican (1b0d37)

  109. We are experiencing technical difficulties. The President’s head should be replaced shortly. We apologize for any inconvenience.

    walruskkkch (401f8b)

  110. “Auditioning for my next job after losing re-election, The Headless Hoseman”

    peedoffamerican (1b0d37)

  111. “…I don’t know, my mind went BLANK all of a sudden!”

    walruskkkch (ac60c6)

  112. X-Rays of the President’s head show nothing.

    walruskkkch (401f8b)

  113. Blankenstein.

    walruskkkch (ac60c6)

  114. That picture is eracist!

    walruskkkch (401f8b)

  115. Michelle you forgot to pack my thoughts for the day!

    walruskkkch (ac60c6)

  116. Has anyone seen my head? It’s kinda round with huge handles and a lot bigger than y’all think it is.

    walruskkkch (401f8b)

  117. “During our most recent lover’s quarrel, Michelle said, ‘Barack, no more head for you !‘”

    Elephant Stone (65d289)

  118. Internal Democrat polls do not forebode well for the President. It does appear that the nation is looking to usher in a new Head of State.

    Elephant Stone (65d289)

  119. What??? I’m just as transparent as That One is!

    PatriotRider (5c621d)

  120. Weren’t we promised this was going to be the most transparent administration ever ?

    Elephant Stone (65d289)

  121. The President, replacing his teleprompter with a mirror, gains new confidence in his message.
    Comment by Kevin M — 8/22/2012 @ 9:22 am

    — That’s a good ‘un

    Icy (107527)

  122. One of the successes of our energy research and development program is this prototype for a new vehicle. With the proper use of origami, this flat panel can be transformed into either a bicycle or a canoe.

    Sammy Finkelman (2178a8)

  123. Oh teleprompter so white,
    Please answer my question right.
    Will my polls widen
    by dumping Joe Biden
    Or will they fall completely from sight?

    walruskkkch (ac60c6)

  124. The president gave a speech today; it was about as interesting as watching paint dry.

    Icy (107527)

  125. I heard that being President makes your hair turn white, but THIS is ridiculous!

    Icy (107527)

  126. This is the only way I can get a cab in Manhattan.

    Birdbath (716828)

  127. Analysis: In his speech today, President Obama targeted white voters.

    Icy (107527)

  128. “I think if you all take a good look, you will see what I stand for.”

    Icy (107527)

  129. Mirror mirror, on the stand, They’ll never guess where I’ve placed my hand…

    ChimpZilla (39aa7f)

  130. “I’m auditioning for my next position. I’m looking to become an *actual* icon.”

    K_P_Brown (88bd1c)

  131. Witness, a man totally bereft of ideas.

    Icy (107527)

  132. For $3, you can enter this contest to have your face photoshopped over the President’s, as he addresses thousands of his most ardent worshippers supporters. All proceeds go the the Re-Elect Obama Campaign.

    DaveinNC (044ada)

  133. A glimpse into the void.

    Onus (a58b28)

  134. Out of words

    or

    Nothing left to say

    Onus (a58b28)

  135. Obama is supposed to be so cool, but he’s really just a square…

    Onus (a58b28)

  136. NEW! From RonCo! The handy Presidential Swat-O-Matic!

    Are you bothered by annoying Presidential speeches? Well be troubled no more! With RonCo’s new Presidential Swat-O-Matic you too can put an end to the useless drivel, lies and ramblings of the President.

    Actual customer: “I wish I had this 4 years ago!”

    A Presidential Swat-O-Matic can be on it’s way to you for just $19.99 [plus shipping and handling]

    walruskkkch (ac60c6)

  137. I have a dream that my president will one day live in a nation where he will not be judged by the color of his teleprompter but by the character of his content.

    max (131bc0)

  138. “Despite his reputation for being a square, Joe Biden did do a great job as the warm-up act, but Barack Obama is definitely the Headliner.”

    Elephant Stone (65d289)

  139. If my son was a teleprompter, he would have looked a lot like this.

    Angry God (2416de)

  140. Flash-card fail!

    Icy (107527)

  141. Pssst, I think Obama might be back on ‘blow’.

    Icy (107527)

  142. “The reasons to reelect me as President are as plain as the nose on my face.”

    malclave (1db6c5)

  143. You will be assimilated. We are The Bore. You will be assimilated.

    AJD (17d551)

  144. Once again the press goes to great lengths to conceal the President’s smoking.

    Kevin M (bf8ad7)

  145. Democrats 2012–They Live.

    oneisnotprime (ac06e6)

  146. TOTUS finally gets his well-deserved closeup.

    Bugg (403960)

  147. I could really state my case, if I only had a face.

    kaf (81bcc7)

  148. Realizing that his sneer of disdain whenever he spoke to Republicans was hampering his attempts to woo Republican moderates, Obama had his face surgically removed.

    max (131bc0)

  149. “President Obama, bless his heart, has tried to substitute government for free people, and it has not worked.”

    – Mitt Romney

    Colonel Haiku (5bfa3a)

  150. The Incredible Lightness of Blankness.

    Colonel Haiku (5bfa3a)

  151. and then he gave me this blank look.

    Colonel Haiku (5bfa3a)

  152. I’ll be your huckleberry white board.

    Colonel Haiku (5bfa3a)

  153. It looks like SpongeBob SquarePants has changed his wardrobe.

    {^_^}

    JD (d85c92)

  154. The President plays the (white) race card, but it gets stuck.

    Kevin M (bf8ad7)

  155. Behold the brains of the operation.

    Bugg (403960)

  156. This is what happens when his teleprompter is *not* in front of his face:

    President Obama joined a group of former NBA stars at a fundraiser at New York’s Lincoln Center Wednesday night. With Michael Jordan, Patrick Ewing, Walt Frazier, Bill Bradley and other basketball legends sitting nearby — “It’s very rare that I come to an event where I’m like the fifth- or sixth-most interesting person,” Obama said — the president made a few obligatory remarks about opponent Mitt Romney’s tax and economic plans.
    Washington Examiner

    elissa (50b427)

  157. Is this the one with the “no snitch” guy? Irony, if so.

    nk (875f57)

  158. The President’s speaking capabilities were finally operational Tuesday, as his teleprompter was restored to service just in time for a fundraiser.

    MTF (b16bef)

  159. Acting on its new programming, every time the President misspeaks now the TOTUS flies backwards and smacks him in the forehead.

    Icy (9bbab7)

  160. One hundred years from now, the Presidential historians will rate Barack Obama as head and shoulders below the rest.

    Elephant Stone (65d289)

  161. “No, stop right there… perfect, just perfect . . . leave that camera in that spot when filming the Vice President’s speech.”

    JEN (c53e80)

  162. .

    Via a mysterious quantum proof of God’s sense of both Irony and Humor, The One finally, really, DOES become a blank slate.

    .

    Smock Puppet, 10th Dan Snark Master, and Breast Sync Professional (8e2a3d)

  163. I could really state my case, if I only had a face.

    Strangely enough, “If only I had a brain” is more correct…

    Smock Puppet, 10th Dan Snark Master, and Breast Sync Professional (8e2a3d)

  164. “Here is a list of things I like most about America”

    “Re-elect me my head is full of great ideas for America”

    The POTUS was left speechless mid-sentence today after someone tripped over an extension cord unplugging the teleprompter.

    miker301 (1ef287)

  165. Here’s your sign.

    kaf (81bcc7)

  166. Welcome to Forward’s Pizza, can I take your order?

    kaf (81bcc7)

  167. Many young people perceive President Obama to be their generation’s JFK; young, cool, and hip. However, it’s these veritable moments in front of a microphone and teleprompter when he loses his head, revealing that he’s really just a square.

    Elephant Stone (65d289)

  168. Political observers were eager to see just how President Obama’s re-election campaign would take shape. After various triangulations and circular logic, the President’s partisan allies at The Pentagon presented him with a viable option for replacing Vice President Joe Biden with a VP candidate who would color inside the lines, and was known to have a much more linear appearance about him. This candidate was someone who would be animated on the campaign trail in order to appeal to much younger voters; Sponge Bob Square Pants.

    Elephant Stone (65d289)

  169. “He’s a real square cat from 1974.”

    (hat tip, The Stray Cats’ “Rock this Town”)

    Elephant Stone (65d289)

  170. While Ronald Reagan was known for making the jump immediately from television into politics, Barack Obama sought to reverse that career move when he began campaigning earnestly to become a panelist on TV’s Hollywood Squares following his re-election defeat. Republican commentators pointed out that while Hollywood Squares has an archive of amusing moments involving such absurdists as Paul Lynde and Charles Nelson Reilly, the President was uniquely prepared having served alongside Joe Biden and Harry Reid.

    Elephant Stone (65d289)

  171. Weebles wobble, but they . . .

    Icy (b29c1e)

  172. The square root of “2008” is almost six trillion.

    Elephant Stone (65d289)

  173. Comment 4- you were born after 2008?

    trebek (e79b35)

  174. Anybody have a typewriter so I can fill in my birth certificate?

    daleyrocks (bf33e9)

  175. “anyone out there
    think I’ve been a jug-eared flop?
    just talk to The Ear”

    Colonel Haiku (d0168d)

  176. “Is there anybody — out there?”

    [that’s 2 Pink Floyd’s “The Wall” references for one caption. I win . . . the most number of “The Wall” references . . . Oh, wait!]

    “I have become — comfortably numb.”

    Icy (b29c1e)

  177. Oh, lookit — tye/trebek thinks he made a funny.

    Icy (b29c1e)

  178. I like the version in the ‘Departed’ soundtrack.

    narciso (ee31f1)

  179. That was quite a read, Narciso. Thanks for posting the link.

    Colonel Haiku (b69517)

  180. an Army of Pink
    send pics of their vaginas
    Tampa Tampon Tues………….>>>day?

    Colonel Haiku (b69517)

  181. “It became evident that he was now boxed in by his circular logic.”

    Elephant Stone (65d289)


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