Patterico's Pontifications

8/14/2012

Caption Contest

Filed under: General — Patterico @ 7:23 pm



Winners will be announced when I get around to it. Prize is whatever I decide — probably nothing but the pride of victory. Without further ado, here is your picture:

334 Responses to “Caption Contest”

  1. It’s actually a pretty cool snapshot.

    nk (875f57)

  2. But I’ll it the old college try:

    “Michelle was right. I should not have had that fried Twinkie.”

    nk (875f57)

  3. “Your card was the Eight of Clubs, right?”

    SPQR (26be8b)

  4. “I saw this in ‘Big Trouble in Little China’ and just had to learn how to do it, too.”

    nk (875f57)

  5. The Secretary of State came to me when she learned I could read the future in my crystal ball. And that day I delivered the grim news from beyond the beyond.

    “Let me be clear, ah um there’s no easy way to say this: Unexpectedly. Your husband will die a um violent and horrible death this year, unexpectedly.”

    Visibly shaken, Hillary stared at my painstakingly dyed grey hair, then at the glowing orb that tells the future to those with the gift, then down at her hands. She sighed but steeled herself with resolve to ask another question. She simply had to know. She met the my gaze and asked.

    “Will I be acquitted?”

    Dustin (73fead)

  6. Sorry, just can’t bring myself to really make fun of this picture.

    nk (875f57)

  7. “Now, Harry Reid says if I aim this at Chris Matthews, it will cause him to get that thrill up his leg !”

    Elephant Stone (65d289)

  8. Teh Lightworker!

    JD (142098)

  9. Sorry, just can’t bring myself to really make fun of this picture.

    Comment by nk — 8/14/2012

    It is a nice pic, though, as you said.

    Dustin (73fead)

  10. I like these “fool the eye” kind of pictures. I have one of my first wife looking as though she is right on the edge of Aspen mountain. She got the joke. She framed it as proof that I loved her — I did not push her off.

    nk (875f57)

  11. Papaya isn’t supposed to look like this, is it?

    Enigmaticore (a023c1)

  12. “Destabilize the economy with wild spending. Check.
    Destroy the healthcare system. Check.
    Tie up business in a million new and contradictory regulations. Check.
    Deter hiring and drive up unemployment. Check.
    Gut the armed forces. Check.
    Favor our enemies and snub our friends. Check.

    What is my next task, oh great Fidel?”

    Kevin M (bf8ad7)

  13. Obama, EPA succeed in regulating Sun, curing Earth of global warming menace.

    Tex (f1ddce)

  14. I spy with my little eye, 4 more lies I will try.

    Laura R. Charron (85abe7)

  15. “I know what it says in Genesis, but He didn’t build that!”

    Mac the knife (388547)

  16. I need a plan! OK? I really really need a plan.

    Lea Schroeder (7a2650)

  17. Shadow: It’s Shadow…
    Zorg: Zorg here.
    Shadow: Am I disturbing you?
    Zorg: Oh no… no, no… I was… just… W-Where are you?
    Shadow: Not far now.
    Zorg: Good… good, good…

    Kevin M (bf8ad7)

  18. And the crystal ball says… I win!

    Steven Den Beste (99cfa1)

  19. “Hey, this dark side stuff is pretty cool.”

    Kevin M (bf8ad7)

  20. “Say hello to my little friend”

    Kevin M (bf8ad7)

  21. This is some kick a** weed. Try a hit.

    daleyrocks (bf33e9)

  22. As then-Senator Joe Biden said in 2007, “He’s the first mainstream African-American candidate who is articulate, bright, clean-cut, nice-looking, and has the ability to communicate directly with Mork from Ork !”

    Elephant Stone (65d289)

  23. Oh, what the heck:

    “There is a disturbance in The Force. The son of Ryan Skywalker lives.”

    nk (875f57)

  24. “Cool, I’m a fairy just like Sookie”

    Kevin M (bf8ad7)

  25. “Go ahead and make fun of me, nk. Art is meant to inspire.”

    nk (875f57)

  26. “I’d trade ALL my superpowers for 2 points off the unemployment rate”

    Kevin M (bf8ad7)

  27. i had a way then – losing it all on my own

    happyfeet (3c92a1)

  28. “If I hold the orb just right I can see Michelle allowing me to eat pizza, cheeseburgers and ice cream whenever I want!”

    LSM (92e1b5)

  29. Magic 8 Ball says: Don’t count on it.

    deb smith (6afb85)

  30. “My mouth is watering… cheeseburgers…cheeseburgers this big…”

    LSM (92e1b5)

  31. “Auntie Em! Auntie Em! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!”

    T (4f2c72)

  32. “When I first saw your face, I was tripping on acid.”

    nk (875f57)

  33. My halo seems to have slipped off.

    htom (412a17)

  34. Thanks, Patterico. I needed something pretty and funny.

    nk (875f57)

  35. I took my troubles down to Madame Ruth…

    Colonel Haiku (172755)

  36. “With this [object TextRange], I recieve instructions from Sauron.”

    Swampleg (9e8396)

  37. OK the attempt to insert a link did not work. I meant to write

    “With this Palantir, I receive instructions from Sauron.”

    Swampleg (9e8396)

  38. I see a bad m00n risin’… I see trouble on the way…

    Colonel Haiku (172755)

  39. Oh NO! President Obama just told Happy Fun Ball the there are lots of happy balls and if Happy fun ball has a business he didn’t make it fun. GET OUT OF THERE!

    SarahW (b0e533)

  40. “I can’t read the message on this thing—I don’t know how to read Austrian !”

    Elephant Stone (65d289)

  41. “But…I have a gift, and Evan said I was sorta God. Are you really sure about that one term proposition thingy?”

    Damselfly (7c3fb5)

  42. Help me, Obi-Wan Alinsky… you’re my only hope.

    Colonel Haiku (172755)

  43. Haiku,

    Just for the record,
    The answer to your comment is,
    A jinx song, by now.

    nk (875f57)

  44. Or “bye”. Both do in Haiku.

    nk (875f57)

  45. Hmm–wonder how I can screw this up!

    Comanche Voter (29e1a6)

  46. I’ll be damned… these solar panels behind my ears really do work!

    Colonel Haiku (172755)

  47. “Better save your own life and join me … or you’ll meet the same end as your parents …. they died begging me for mercy.”

    Ag80 (b2c81f)

  48. “Bah Weep Granna, Weep Neenibaum”

    The reference is from “Transformers: The Movie.”

    Douglas (7913e2)

  49. “You have thirteen hours in which to solve the labyrinth, before your baby brother becomes one of us… forever.”

    Ghost (6f9de7)

  50. Dammit, Axelrod… I said get me David Gregory not a suppository…

    Colonel Haiku (172755)

  51. I already got a witch at home, where’s the damn flying monkeys!?!?

    Colonel Haiku (172755)

  52. “Excuse me, Lord. What was that Eleventh Commandment, again?”

    nk (875f57)

  53. “I got a lot of flak for returning that bust of Churchill back to the Brits, so I think I’ll keep this one.”

    Elephant Stone (65d289)

  54. Obama, seen here challenging M. Bison…

    Ghost (6f9de7)

  55. ain’t no sunshine when I’m gone… only clouds when I’m away…

    Colonel Haiku (172755)

  56. Doan let teh Sun go down on me…

    Colonel Haiku (172755)

  57. Dammit, it keeps asking “Try Again.”

    Ag80 (b2c81f)

  58. “Oh Great Sauron, what shall I do next?

    roy in nipomo (d31d1e)

  59. “Mr. President, take your campaign of division and anger and hate back to Chicago”

    Ag80 (b2c81f)

  60. No wonder I’ve been three-putting so often.

    Mkw (05794e)

  61. “…. and then squeeze Paul Ryan’s head like a melon. A MELON!!!

    Kaisersoze (298188)

  62. “Everything’s fine today, that is our illusion.”
    –Voltaire

    PC14 (87cbf8)

  63. I’ve done it Master! I’ve found the brain, Abby Normal.

    gary gulrud (dd7d4e)

  64. Yes! I’ve discovered hand-held fusion, a limitless source of energy. Better put it back in the bottle, because it would put my supporters in the solar and wind power sectors out of business…

    Bill Roper (334fb0)

  65. “Damn, but that Biden can sure trash-talk.”

    Kevin M (bf8ad7)

  66. Ah. Made in China. Who knew?

    SteveG (831214)

  67. So, Mr Applegate, all I need to do is give you this, and the election’s mine? Done. Never had much of a use for it anyway.”

    Kevin M (bf8ad7)

  68. Don’t try again, later.”

    Elephant Stone (65d289)

  69. “I’ll get you, my pretty…and your little dog, too!”

    creeper (849351)

  70. “My new invention, the electric volleyball.”

    Kevin M (bf8ad7)

  71. Dang. I only had a pepperoni pizza, today. I’ll have to take a B1 supplement.

    (That was not a caption, it was me.)

    nk (875f57)

  72. “1.21 gigawatts!”

    Kevin M (bf8ad7)

  73. Oh Sh*t! There IS a God.

    Ed from SFV (459cb8)

  74. “Goodness, gracious. It saysss… property… of… Jerry Lee Lewis.”

    DCSCA (9d1bb3)

  75. “S***! Why can’ this moron, DCSCA, just say, “great balls of fire”? Fancy-talking f****t.”

    nk (875f57)

  76. hah just like sookie god bless her

    happyfeet (3c92a1)

  77. Joe, what do ya mean I’m holding it upside down?

    teebo (d845c0)

  78. “How the hell did Michelle wind up with this thing up her ass? Something’s fishy here…though it does smell like she’s telling the truth.”

    Robert Fine (e61ff6)

  79. I did not build this. Somebody else did that.

    daleyrocks (bf33e9)

  80. “You will soon find yourself in a new career.”

    Patricia (e1d89d)

  81. This is when I tried out as an extra as a a Drood for Dr. Who.

    Kevin Carder (afb705)

  82. “You will soon find yourself in a new career.”

    Comment by Patricia

    So far this was my favorite.

    Dustin (73fead)

  83. I think htom @33 has it thus far.

    Leviticus (102f62)

  84. “Wow! I really am a Lightworker!”

    Milhouse (15b6fd)

  85. “Can you believe Richard Pryor set his hair on fire doing this?”

    KennyM (84c9c1)

  86. — The last time I held a “magic 8-ball” it was something completely different, and so was my name.

    — Damn! I am one UGLY mother-f***er!

    — This new TOTUS is pretty trippin’!

    — That birth certificate you made for me isn’t good enough!

    — I hear and obey Lord Soros.

    — I’m willing to lose the finger, just so long as the ring comes off!

    — Everybody just hold on a moment while I check out the NBA draft . . .

    — “Dude, quit Bogarting the orb!”

    Icy (ed881d)

  87. Romper, bomper, stomper, boo, tell me tell me tell me do ….

    crosspatch (6adcc9)

  88. I have the ball, now where is the chain?

    mg (44de53)

  89. Matthews, good boy, come hold this over my head, and don’t thrill yoursef over the carpet this time.

    Ali_Mentary (3bd99f)

  90. “If only I was this bright…

    redc1c4 (403dff)

  91. “what a strange looking crack pipe… where do you take the hit? hey Reggie, help a brother out!”

    redc1c4 (403dff)

  92. Magic glowball says …

    crosspatch (6adcc9)

  93. That’s my Loc-Nar!

    DubiousD (cf8a88)

  94. “I’m now holding the next item up for auction, my soul. Mr. Soros opens the bidding at $50,000. Ms. Wintour?”

    MayBee (a1dde3)

  95. I want to be Big

    Juat Another Bloody Lawyer (8813fd)

  96. “Until the neurosurgeons let me hold it for myself, I couldn’t quite believe that Joe Biden’s brain is really a luminescent soap bubble. But now that I think about it, that explains a lot.”

    Beldar (277e62)

  97. come in calypso, louie you there?

    mg (44de53)

  98. — This is the proper way to hold a dog sammich.

    — I’m speaking to the spirit of Karl Marx. Come before us now, Karl.

    — And fire flew from his fingertips as he rosined up his bow!

    Icy (ed881d)

  99. Fairy dust and unicorn farts are so yesterday. This is my new thang.

    elissa (5bc501)

  100. On the first day Obama said, “Let there be light,” but there was no light.

    So on the second day Obama said “let there be photoshop” but still there was no light.

    So on the third day Obama said “Let there be a completely pliant and co-opted press corpse to do my bidding.” And he looked down and saw that there was light and it was good.

    Voluble (0b86d9)

  101. — Dick Cheney might be Darth Vader, but I’m the Emperor, b****!!!

    — The spirit reveals that someone in the front row is about to faint.

    — This is what your $500 million investment in Solyndra bought you.

    Icy (ed881d)

  102. After licking the glow-toad the President became very mellow and was slowly swaying to the music.

    Icy (ed881d)

  103. “I see dead people.”

    dfbaskwill (c021f2)

  104. Fool of a Took!

    Crimso (a66a32)

  105. Fool of a crook (?)

    Crimso (a66a32)

  106. The power of Isengard is at your command, Sauron, Lord of the Earth.

    adamjw2 (4e3f9f)

  107. My . . . Precious!

    Chris (a4c288)

  108. “Actually, O Holy Obamessiah, the House passed that farm bill of which you just spoke two weeks ago.

    Elephant Stone (65d289)

  109. Obama 2012: Shrinking everything but government.

    “Four years ago, I said my candidacy was when the rise of the oceans began to slow and the planet began to heal, but all I got is this little sun.”

    DRJ (a83b8b)

  110. “Oh magical orb of Marxist-Leninist thought, I thank you for telling me that even more divisiveness, demagoguery, and fear-mongering shall clear my path to victory!”

    Guy Jones (851e14)

  111. “If you build it, they will leave.”

    Elephant Stone (65d289)

  112. Concealed within his fortress, the Lord of Mordor sees all.

    adamjw2 (4e3f9f)

  113. I like htom’s 33.

    DRJ (a83b8b)

  114. This is the magic invisible lockbox I have put the 715b of medicare in. It is safe – don’t believe Romney.

    vor2 (6c8528)

  115. We lentgave you 750 million for green energy and the result is a “globe light”?

    EPWJ (e83e82)

  116. Kamehameha!

    CAL (01f3eb)

  117. “I see dead people voting.”
    Comment by dfbaskwill — 8/15/2012 @ 4:59 am

    — FTFY (I claim 33% royalties if you win)

    Icy (ed881d)

  118. “Close your eyes. Do not look directly at the face of Wasserman Schultz!”

    Icy (ed881d)

  119. “So, um, I was worried about Ryan getting picked, it seemed like they might be blocking some of my distractions with, um, actual policy or stuff. And, um, I saw this gypsy about the election, and what to do, and she gave me this and said to take it to Valerie Jarrett, and she’d know what to do with it.

    “So I get on the elevator to go to the residence in the WH, and the marine guarding it says ‘What’s that, sir?’. And I answer ‘It’s an, um, evil magic ball. I got it for Valerie.’

    “Um, and after a minute or so, the marine saluted me and said ‘Good trade, Sir!’

    “Um, I’m still not sure what he meant. Anyone seen Valerie?”

    rtrski (c69273)

  120. “I’m sorry Mr. President, but that question is above my pay grade.”

    Elephant Stone (65d289)

  121. Obama: “Master, what must I do?”
    Transmorgified voice of George Soros:”Use the full force of the government and media to win,the Dark Force that has guided your career from the start will guide you now.”

    But seriously, I think I know why he had to surrender his Law License, he has falsified his law school admission papers regarding citizenship- either pretending to be a foreigner to get in, or by pretending to be a citizen if he wasn’t. Michelle must have agreed to surrender hers or face an ethics investigation for participating in his scam.

    Smarty (3f32df)

  122. CARNAC: The answer is — a foam-covered microphone, a glowing crystal ball, and Barack Obama.
    ED: A foam-covered microphone, a glowing crystal ball, and Barack Obama.
    CARNAC [staring at Ed]: May your sister become pregnant, and have the entire NBA tested for paternity.
    ED: Oh-ho-ho!
    CARNAC [opens the envelope]: Name a fuzzy stick, a cheap trick, and a big prick.

    Icy (ed881d)

  123. You think Romney can pick a booger this big?! No way, right? Vote for me!

    AJD (17d551)

  124. Many politicians give up their professional license just because the continuing education is tedious and they plan to be career politicians.

    Dustin (73fead)

  125. The first thing I thought of when I saw this picture was the 1984 LP Pink World, a dual-disk concept album by Planet P Project. Here’s a link to a picture of the album jacket. You’ll see what I mean.

    Planet P Project was, for all intents and purposes, singer-songwriter Tony Carey. Carey is best remembered for Top 40 hits “I Won’t Be Home Tonight” and the atmospheric pop ballad “A Fine Fine Day,” a tale about a mobster newly released from prison who visits his old neighborhood. Pink World revolved around the story of a speechless child who becomes an unlikely leader in a post-apocalyptic world (Dana Loesch recently noted that much excellent rock music was inspired by fear of a nuclear Armageddon). Despite the fact that it seemed derivative of The Who’s Tommy and didn’t chart well or produce a hit single, there is a tiny hard core of devotees who believe it’s a work on par with (or superior to) better-selling prog rock concept LPs.

    For what it’s worth.

    L.N. Smithee (c568de)

  126. Dustin, a law license is useful post-political career as a lobbyist – you can use it to cover some conversations with attorney – client privilege.

    SPQR (dc10a7)

  127. “’cause fire is the Devil’s only friend”
    — Don McLean

    Icy (ed881d)

  128. “I’m King of the Whirled and I will deliver Peas to the Middle East.”

    jasond (0b7791)

  129. Well, we had all of your donated wedding gifts melted down and . . .

    Icy (ed881d)

  130. I . . . see . . . dead voters. Voting for me!

    Mark L (a8c13b)

  131. I am the way, the truth and the light.

    Gandalf the Blond (a18ddc)

  132. Some members of the crowd became noticeably uncomfortable as the President began caressing and speaking lovingly to his Nobel Peace Prize medal in the glint of the noonday sun.

    Icy (ed881d)

  133. Still choomin’ after all these years….

    Simon Jester (f5812b)

  134. Racists

    JD (318f81)

  135. “I must not fear.
    Fear is the mind-killer.
    Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
    I will face my fear.
    I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
    And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
    Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
    Only I will remain.”

    Icy (ed881d)

  136. No Mentat he, Icy.

    Simon Jester (f5812b)

  137. Looks like mine got eaten by the spam filter, no surprise I guess. Let’s try this more completely.

    Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn
    Or in English:
    In his house at R’lyeh dead Cthulhu waits dreaming.

    ChimpZilla (39aa7f)

  138. “If I’m not re-elected, I’ll will eat the sun.”

    AZ Bob (1c9631)

  139. “He’s got the whole underworld in his hands,
    He’s got the whole . . . “

    Icy (ed881d)

  140. I’ll get you and your little dog too!

    BarSinister (664312)

  141. Purely anecdotal, but, when I saw Tom Petty on his Long After Dark Tour a girl threw a plush toy frog onto the stage. In-between songs Petty picked it up and, in the condition he was in — STONED — proceeded to stand there, next to his microphone stand, and stare at it for a good 30 seconds.

    This photo reminds me of that moment.

    Icy (ed881d)

  142. Joe Soptic donated his conscience to the campaign, and here it is!

    Icy (ed881d)

  143. “Calling agent EPWJ. Come in, agent EPWJ.”

    Icy (ed881d)

  144. “Indeed, I am my father’s…sun !”

    Elephant Stone (65d289)

  145. “And so, in a gesture of good faith and cooperation between nations, I present this enriched uranium to the President of the Islamic Republic of Iran.”

    Icy (ed881d)

  146. — I hold in my hands the LAST incandescent light bulb.

    — Wow, Huma and Hillary really DO go at it!

    — My wife bought this during her last shopping spree. Don’t know what the hell it is, but it sure is shiny!

    Icy (ed881d)

  147. “What does Marsellus Wallace look like?”

    Ghost (6f9de7)

  148. And the liberals started singing, “He’s got the whole world in his hands…”

    Ghost (6f9de7)

  149. “… Where’s the carb on this bong?”

    Ghost (6f9de7)

  150. To piggy-back on what the esteemed Icy just wrote,

    “You folks don’t want to vote for that Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan, cause they only want to give enriched uranium to our nation’s wealthy allies! On the other hand, Joe and I want to make sure every nation gets their fair share of enriched uranium!”

    Elephant Stone (65d289)

  151. “Let me be clear. Chun Li is going down.”
    (yeah, I know that’s my second street fighter joke, but seriously, HYDUUUUUKEN!)

    Ghost (6f9de7)

  152. “I see . . . pitchforks & torches? Oh crap!”

    Icy (ed881d)

  153. This is much better than seeing a fortune teller.

    mg (44de53)

  154. you know, it is an awesome picture. But this is what I came up with after sleeping on it.

    You want this, don’t you? The hate is swelling in you now. Take your Jedi weapon. Use it. I am unarmed. Strike me down with it. Give in to your anger. With each passing moment you make yourself more my servant.

    G (f85a02)

  155. How many Lightworkers does it take to change a light bulb?

    Steven Den Beste (99cfa1)

  156. Bring the halflings to me in Mordor

    larry2 (a8eb54)

  157. Solcialist

    Idiot (2aa6fe)

  158. In his house at R’lyeh dead Cthulhu waits dreaming.

    Cthulhu loves the little children
    All the children of the world
    Red and yellow, black and white
    All are tasty in his sight
    Cthulhu loves the little children of the world.

    Milhouse (cdd41b)

  159. Icy @ 139, and Milhouse @ 158

    Thanks for the laughs from each.

    ChimpZilla (39aa7f)

  160. Ultimate Choom.

    luagha (6d485b)

  161. You didn’t light that. Somebody else lit that for you.

    SaveFarris (b099bf)

  162. “Maybe I should have had a beer summit with those pesky tea party hobbits…”

    Damselfly (7c3fb5)

  163. “I see…Millard Fillmore, Franklin Pierce, James Buchanan, Herbert Hoover, Jimmy Carter, George H.W. Bush…”

    Elephant Stone (65d289)

  164. Mine was of course best … 😉 … but for second prize, I’ll vote for:

    How many Lightworkers does it take to change a light bulb?

    Comment by Steven Den Beste — 8/15/2012 @ 8:40 am

    SPQR (cde90f)

  165. “Years of research, and 500 million dollars later, I proudly present the fruit of our investment in Solyndra: the solar-powered light bulb. Now, for an additional billion dollars they will develop one that works at night.”

    Icy (ed881d)

  166. “Would you believe that Michelle’s balls are this big?”

    peedoffamerican (606d27)

  167. Warning: if your Rubik’s Cube starts to glow white hot, you’re probably working it wrong.

    Icy (ed881d)

  168. When they removed the cancerous tumor from Soptic’s wife, it was this big and it had “Shoulda taken the buyout. Love, Romney” tattooed on it.

    MacGruber (298dce)

  169. “Hey! You’re supposed to pick it up wih your forearms, Kwai Chang.”

    Icy (ed881d)

  170. “You can’t hide those Ryan eyes !”

    Elephant Stone (65d289)

  171. Upon entering his secret code and opening the case, President Obama was surprised to discover that “nuclear football” was a LITERAL term.

    Icy (ed881d)

  172. “What am I bid for my creative spark? Do I hear a hundred?”

    Icy (ed881d)

  173. Turns out the hair-plugs DID have an adverse effect on Biden’s brain.

    Icy (ed881d)

  174. Basking in the glow of his own reflection.

    Icy (ed881d)

  175. “Meteor s***!!!”

    Icy (ed881d)

  176. “Mr. President, you will have plenty of flexibility after the November election—beginning January 20, you will be able to do anywhere you want…except for the Oval Office !”

    Elephant Stone (65d289)

  177. “I am Breitbart !”

    Elephant Stone (65d289)

  178. What am I doing??? Isn’t it obvious you fool. I am looking for a CLUE!!

    Yodan (cbcac7)

  179. “Calling agent EPWJ. Come in, agent EPWJ.”

    Comment by Icy — 8/15/2012 @ 7:48 am

    Now thats funny

    but Icy, Obama assigned me a secret service code name of my very own:

    EPWJ (2925ff)

  180. And LO! Duh Won didst sniffeth his own fart and say: “Yea verily, ’tis good!”

    For he was ever ‘that kind of guy’.

    -Abadaba 4:21-22

    Liptonius (a999cd)

  181. “It worked.”

    Elephant Stone (65d289)

  182. EPWJ,

    Yes, we know Obama issued you a Secret Service code of your very own, but we’re not making any lewd Monica Lewinsky jokes in this thread—we’re just writing potential captions for the photo.

    Elephant Stone (65d289)

  183. Kal Vas Flam
    !

    Brent Glines (f1a217)

  184. You Got The Touch

    Another Transformers: The (animated) Movie gag

    Obaminus Prime

    (I follow the lolcats ethos that humor rises asymtotically as number of words approaches one.)

    luagha (5cbe06)

  185. I hold here, in my hands, the future of Power in these United States!

    Unix-Jedi (e0ef98)

  186. Presidentin’ is hard, Lord!

    Mlle Bastiat (d5d898)

  187. As I look deep in the crystal ball, I see a tall, dark, handsome man in American’s future. Wait, there are two. Romney/Ryan 2012!

    MAC1000 (49b4fa)

  188. How does this new teleprompter work?

    daleyrocks (bf33e9)

  189. “If I am reelected, I will unleash the power of my magical job-making orb.

    George (d57b1d)

  190. “And you wouldn’t believe what I found in the White House safe…”

    Kevin M (bf8ad7)

  191. “Finally, a power-up.”

    Kevin M (bf8ad7)

  192. “Now, in 2008, this shined out of my ass…”

    Kevin M (bf8ad7)

  193. “Fly, my pretties, fly”

    Kevin M (bf8ad7)

  194. “Sha-bam! Only Directv, gives you every game every Sunday at no extra charge.”

    rodney smith (2f3666)

  195. Eeny, meany, chilibeany – the spirits are about to speak. Are they friendly spirits?

    dan meyers (85ae00)

  196. “Vote for the RO, not the ZerO“.

    nk (875f57)

  197. “Gort, Klaatu barada nikto!

    Kevin M (bf8ad7)

  198. Damn, Breitbart did become more powerful than I could possibly imagine!

    Kevin M (bf8ad7)

  199. I’ve got the sunshine in my hands…

    http://www.cmongethappy.com/lyrics/sunshine.html

    Sammy Finkelman (6c281d)

  200. “Take that, Mike Huckabee!”

    Sammy Finkelman (6c281d)

  201. voice heard from upstage: “Mr. President, it’s Governor Jerry Brown on line 1.”

    Elephant Stone (65d289)

  202. I think I could throw this new type of basketball the entire length of a court.

    Sammy Finkelman (4ae3f9)

  203. And Barack said, “Let their be light and their was light.” … excerpt from the New Abridged Rules for Radicals Bible.

    NJRob (fe68e7)

  204. No matter how many times I shake this thing it ALWAYS comes up “Vote Mormon, Not Moron”!

    Icy (ed881d)

  205. “Oh, but There IS a way I can balance the budget. And that is…….. MAGIC”

    Crowd gasps

    lee (f7dedd)

  206. Having stolen the spotlight from Mitt Romney, President Obama seemed unsure of what to do with it.

    Icy (ed881d)

  207. Aaaawwwww – Look at the pretty little unicorn. And he’s smiling at me. He says the private sector is doing fine and you didn’t build that. Soooo cute!

    Peacerose (048cba)

  208. but Icy, Obama assigned me a secret service code name of my very own:

    — Tex Goverfluffer

    Icy (ed881d)

  209. 203 – There deliberately misspelled thanks to public education.

    NJRob (fe68e7)

  210. “Auntie Em! Auntie Em!”

    Mojo (4e44a4)

  211. “This God-particle is larger than I imagined it would be.”

    Icy (ed881d)

  212. Hey Ayers, where are the wires in this thing?

    Scott Johnson (2ebd77)

  213. “Eenie meenie chili beanie, the spirits are about to speak.”

    Brotherico (67344e)

  214. “Maybe I couldn’t shrink the rise of the oceans, but I sure was able to shrink the size of the sun !”

    Elephant Stone (65d289)

  215. Comment by Kevin M — 8/14/2012 @ 7:46 pm

    I love that part of the movie!!!

    Amy Shulkusky (efe473)

  216. “I just wish I had that little pipsqueak Ryan’s throat in my hands after making me look like a fool!”

    peedoffamerican (ee1de0)

  217. The shine has fallen off Hope & Change

    Icy (ed881d)

  218. As it turns out, he really was full of shineola.

    Icy (ed881d)

  219. They have killed the great sun jester
    Who danced between the stars
    They have stripped him of his manhood
    Signs of Venus and of Mars
    The cynics left him weeping
    And the jackals left him torn
    And the jester reaches out blind hands
    He can touch the stars no more.

    And he took the stars in his hands
    And as he scattered them he’d shout
    “I’m the joker of the universe
    I’m what it’s all about.”
    Now he’s dying in his grief
    And the hard men dragged him down
    They have killed the wild-eyed jester
    They have killed the fireclown

    Icy (ed881d)

  220. I liked the part where Chris Tucker gets beat up, but that’s because I’m a racist. Gary Oldman is a great actor. Who else could play both Dracula and Ross Perot? If not for Bruce Wilis being in it, I would watch it again.

    nk (875f57)

  221. Who left the choom light on?

    Colonel Haiku (f994a7)

  222. E.T., phone home…

    Colonel Haiku (f994a7)

  223. I got a damn crystal ball and I still don’t know what Biden will say next.

    Colonel Haiku (f994a7)

  224. Your fortune for today: You will be stunned that you – of all people! – would be accused of engaging in a campaign of hate.

    Colonel Haiku (f994a7)

  225. This is the kind of dreck that substitutes for conservative thought today?

    ModRepublican (0c4b6b)

  226. ModRepublican, given that its far more creative and far more mature than the typical MSNBC comment thread, you have no place for talking.

    In fact, what the hell are you doing trolling around here?

    SPQR (26be8b)

  227. We like making liberals have kittens.

    nk (875f57)

  228. he’s trolling for some trouser trout, teh damn low spark, high-heeled boy.

    Colonel Haiku (f994a7)

  229. Thank you, Dustin!

    Patricia (e1d89d)

  230. Icy #219: Brilliant! The Blue O-yster Cult, and there he is holding his giant fiery pearl.

    Thanks everyone. Haven’t laughed this much in a long time.

    Damselfly (7c3fb5)

  231. “President Obama, lamenting the fact that he can’t have his renewable energy and eat it, too.”

    Leviticus (102f62)

  232. Facts can be whatever you want them to be. This is the lesson of relativity.

    Dan Kauffman (623f5c)

  233. A very good entry, Leviticus.

    SPQR (26be8b)

  234. Comment by ModRepublican

    See #193

    Kevin M (bf8ad7)

  235. I have to go with #206

    Having stolen the spotlight from Mitt Romney, President Obama seemed unsure of what to do with it.

    Kevin M (bf8ad7)

  236. Watch as I treat this like the economy and suck the light and life out of it.

    Thresherman (b808d1)

  237. “Look, mom, he IS the black Jesus.”

    [Referencing Spike Lee]

    Darren (e10d8e)

  238. #198, Kevin M. for the prize.

    Milhouse (15b6fd)

  239. Screw world peace! I want the winning 2013 NCAA bracket!

    Schteve (99abcc)

  240. For my three wishes, I want waffles in quiet, a new set of Pings, and an eternally lit bong.

    Schteve (99abcc)

  241. Valerie? Come in, Valerie!?!

    Schteve (99abcc)

  242. With this bad boy, maybe LeBron will finally come over and play horse with me.

    Schteve (99abcc)

  243. Too much fun. I vote for #31. And #192.

    Schteve (99abcc)

  244. Obama, having failed to stop the waters from rising, attempts to collapse the sun.

    Schteve (99abcc)

  245. Icy #219: Brilliant! The Blue O-yster Cult, and there he is holding his giant fiery pearl.
    Comment by Damselfly — 8/15/2012 @ 5:33 pm

    — Thanks! And, of course, looking at Obama there is also the implied reference to BÖC’s original name: “Soft White Underbelly”.

    [I denounce myself]

    Icy (7aa69a)

  246. Here comes the Sun King

    C Wesley Bryant (1e1472)

  247. This is the kind of dreck that substitutes for conservative thought today?
    Comment by ModRepublican — 8/15/2012 @ 4:35 pm

    — I regret to inform you that this entry will NOT be among the chosen winners, as it is not very funny at all.

    [although, if you read it while looking at the pic it almost makes sense, in an unintentional way]

    Icy (7aa69a)

  248. Peering into the pearl of wisdom
    The President voted “present”, wishing
    He could think of something to say, and
    Hoping to change the subject.

    Icy (7aa69a)

  249. Bitterly clinging to his ego and vanity, the President stepped to the mic and addressed the crowd.

    Icy (7aa69a)

  250. Newspaper caption: The scene milliseconds before the President’s spontaneous combustion.

    Kevin M (bf8ad7)

  251. Heard offstage: “it’s evil! Don’t touch it!”

    Kevin M (bf8ad7)

  252. “Oh, so THAT’S where all of the Fast & Furious guns ended up.
    “Whoops.”

    Icy (7aa69a)

  253. Nice “Time Bandits” reference, Kevin M!

    Icy (7aa69a)

  254. “THIS,” he said, holding it up for all to see, “is Bush’s fault.”

    Icy (7aa69a)

  255. “Who wants to play Scorching Hot Potato?”

    Icy (7aa69a)

  256. “THIS,” he said, holding it up for all to see, “is Bush’s fault.”

    Comment by Icy

    Very well done.

    Dustin (73fead)

  257. “So I says to Trump, I says, ‘Can I take a mulligan?’ and he gives me this!”

    Icy (7aa69a)

  258. Obama — he’s so hot, he barfs fire!

    Icy (7aa69a)

  259. Behold the spark of human ingenuity! Watch as I crush it.

    C Brown (3016c0)

  260. Take my wife, please!

    Thanks Henny.

    mg (44de53)

  261. (cue up well-known Carly Simon song…)

    “You’re so vain, you probably think this caption is about you…”

    Elephant Stone (65d289)

  262. from the lost pages of the Book of Genesis;

    “And on the eighth day, He created the bureaucratic welfare state. On day nine, He created the trees on which the money to fund the bureaucratic welfare state would grow on. Then, realizing He needed a steward to maintain and grow the bureaucratic welfare state, He created…the community organizer.”

    Elephant Stone (65d289)

  263. “This was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow, our planet began to heal… and I got this nifty scale model of the Sun.”

    Colonel Haiku (9c2994)

  264. America… I see a mini-Sun in every kitchen and a unicorn that farts $100 dollar bills in every garage.

    Colonel Haiku (9c2994)

  265. Hey… I asked for a BUD LIGHT®

    Colonel Haiku (9c2994)

  266. Has anyone seen my pink loafers?

    Colonel Haiku (9c2994)

  267. Icy is on a ROLL….

    206, 211, heck even his takedown in 247.

    But 254 takes the all time crown I think.

    rtrski (e9b9a0)

  268. Comment by rtrski — 8/16/2012 @ 6:42 am#

    Icy is on a ROLL….

    206, 211, heck even his takedown in 247.

    But 254 takes the all time crown I think.

    I liked number 165.

    Although I have one caveat: The investment in Solyndra was not for research. It was manufacturing – and they built a factory in Silicon Valley, where because of real estate costs and other things, nobody had built a factory in years.

    And they built a factory without any kind of thinking about whether, once they manufactured it, anyone would want to buy it at the price it would be sold for.

    It was a tad more efficient, but Solyndra was undercut by China, if I remember right, and things were getting worse, not better.

    They kept on adding more capacity even as there were minimal sales, as if capacity meant sales. Apparently, so long as the company kept on adding manufacturing capacity, they kept on getting money.

    And the Obama Administration really liked the fact it was so automated. State of the art manufacturing! And “green!”

    The new thing is solar power, by the way, is leasing, so there’s no up-front cost to the buyer. The electric bill goes down by 80% and the solar company captures 65% of it, but thatstill saves 15% starting on day 1.

    Sammy Finkelman (b9340a)

  269. Here comes the sun (doo doo doo doo)

    Sammy Finkelman (b9340a)

  270. Here comes the sun,

    And I say it’s all right.

    Sammy Finkelman (b9340a)

  271. Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting I will save the glaciers.

    Sammy Finkelman (b9340a)

  272. “Will I be re-elected?” Magic 8 ball says, “Outlook not so good.”

    Dan (f28c03)

  273. Sammy, it IS too bad that none of that five-hundred million was spent on developing a viable business model.

    Icy (7aa69a)

  274. Hillary: It’s Hillary…
    Obama: Obama here.
    Hillary: Am I disturbing you?
    Obama: Oh no no, no I was… just… W-Where are you?
    Hillary: Not far now.
    Obama: Good… good, good…

    Kevin M (bf8ad7)

  275. “It gleams of my father.”

    [Okay, now I’m really reaching.]

    Icy (7aa69a)

  276. “When I took office I promised to ‘establish a system of transparency’ — and here it is!”

    Icy (7aa69a)

  277. Sorcerer of Debt Construction

    Icy (7aa69a)

  278. And here, traveling by bubble, is my new running-mate: Glinda!

    Wait. Hillary, what have you done with Glinda, and why the green makeup, black cloak and pointy hat?

    Kevin M (bf8ad7)

  279. “I never asked for this
    Or planned it in advance
    I was merely blown here
    By the winds of chance…”

    “Wait. Someone tell the teleprompter guy I need to see him.”

    Kevin M (bf8ad7)

  280. It’s like a still of Kevin Bacon from “X-Men: First Class.”

    CrustyB (69f730)

  281. Moments after announcing Biden’s resignation, and his appointment of Hillary Clinton as Vice President, the President was engulfed by a mystic orb, never to be seen again.

    Kevin M (bf8ad7)

  282. 2012: His lame duck status conceded, the President took to inhaling nitrous oxide onstage.

    Icy (7aa69a)

  283. You have my soul, make em love me.

    misanthrope (b689cc)

  284. ” I got the whole sun in my hands, I got the whole sun in my hands…”

    scottrk31 (cb6864)

  285. Q: How many 0bamas does it take to change a light bulb?

    A: None.

    Colonel Haiku (9c2994)

  286. The Incredible Lightness of His Intellect

    Colonel Haiku (9c2994)

  287. Sundown you better take care…

    Colonel Haiku (9c2994)

  288. Al Gore and I have developed a technology that’s more renewabler than ever!

    Jason Hooks (7589f8)

  289. Colonel Haiku,

    Everyday, you crack me up with some random quote…you just quoted Gordon Lightfoot—you ‘da man !
    I saw him in concert several years ago at the Canyon Club in Agoura Hills.

    Elephant Stone (65d289)

  290. Elephant Stone, is the steakhouse that used to be a topless bar still in the same mall as the Canyon Club?

    SPQR (26be8b)

  291. Another caption entry:

    “Look! My crystal ball predicts Jon Corzine won’t be indicted for the MF Global fraud!”

    SPQR (26be8b)

  292. SPQR,

    I actually just did a Google search for “steakhouse” in the vicinity of the Canyon Club, and it appears there are a few steakhouses within a few miles of the Club, but not in the same mall.

    Elephant Stone (65d289)

  293. Elephant Stone, you are not refering to the Canyon at Whizins’? There used to be a topless bar there between 101 and the Canyon that later was a steakhouse. But I can’t tell what’s in the building now looking on Google Maps.

    SPQR (26be8b)

  294. “Try looking into that place where you dare not look! You’ll find me there, staring out at you!”

    scrubjay (731806)

  295. Obama may be many things, but he is NOT the Kwisatz Haderach.

    Kevin M (bf8ad7)

  296. simon jester #136 – our current First Occupant is more Male Gesserit – he and Biden (and EPWJ) seem to be about the same level in Mentat terms …

    icy #277 – I see our First Occupant more as the Sorceror’s Apprentice …

    Caption: “Lo ! I hold Here the Burning Bush, Whose Fault This All Is !”

    Alasdair (2cd241)

  297. Alasdair, I was originally gonna go with “The Sorcerer’s Idiot Apprentice,” but then I came up with that play on words:
    “Sorcerer of Debt Construction” (from “sorcerer of death’s construction” in the Black Sabbath song “War Pigs”)

    Icy (93e9cf)

  298. “Gaze into the light, children . . . Good. Now, did you all bring the money grandma gave you for your birthday? Good. Now, when the man comes around with the collective basket you just drop it on in, okay? Good.”

    Icy (93e9cf)

  299. “My crystal ball says I am no longer the fairest of all.”

    bridget (a44b32)

  300. teh Dark Crystal…

    Colonel Haiku (e7df25)

  301. “Barry Potter and the Gobbler of Fire”

    Colonel Haiku (e7df25)

  302. You’re not a believer?… lemme show you how the Zog eats the wattage…

    Colonel Haiku (e7df25)

  303. “Barry Potter the Half-Blood Prince of Darkness”

    Colonel Haiku (e7df25)

  304. Bright Lights, Big Ninny

    Colonel Haiku (e7df25)

  305. “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Clueless Mind.”

    Elephant Stone (65d289)

  306. And after I bring Osama back to life, I’ll kill him again!

    Kevin M (bf8ad7)

  307. “An OrbGram from Bad Horse! I’ve finally been nominated to the Evil League of Evil!”

    Kevin M (bf8ad7)

  308. President Obama, at a recent appearance on National Jeopardy. Myths & Legends for 1000 dollars: Who is Icarus?

    Damselfly (7c3fb5)

  309. Haven’t laughed this much in awhile.. You are all winners in my books..

    Alissa Dirks (a95d6f)

  310. now I can get my fortune tol’ for free…

    Colonel Haiku (a75fad)

  311. Salutations Muggles

    Colonel Haiku (a75fad)

  312. teh Incredible Lightness of His Presidency

    Colonel Haiku (a75fad)

  313. “help me, oh Lord B0z0, I beseech Thee”

    Colonel Haiku (a75fad)

  314. here’s just one of those one thousand points of abstract benevolence

    Colonel Haiku (a75fad)

  315. basking in My Glow…

    Colonel Haiku (a75fad)

  316. batteries are extra

    Colonel Haiku (a75fad)

  317. “wha… what was that, Seamus? Romney hates puppies?”

    Colonel Haiku (a75fad)

  318. teh Dark Crystal…
    Comment by Colonel Haiku — 8/17/2012 @ 4:33 pm

    — Raaaaaciiiissst!!!

    Icy (82e293)

  319. “Barry Pothead and the Philosophers — Stoned”
    “Barry Pothead and the Choom Gang of Secrets”

    Icy (82e293)

  320. CAPTION: President Obama shares a brief moment with his ego, which outgrew the confines of his skull early in his first term.

    Jake Liefschultz (f190bd)

  321. “Barry Pothead is Deathly Shallow”

    Icy (82e293)

  322. “If you can’t stand the heat, then get out of the kitchen Oval Office !”

    Elephant Stone (65d289)

  323. Obama to Sauron. Come in. Come in. Over.

    Susan (9181de)

  324. “Magic palantiri in my hands – Who is the narcissist of them all?

    Susan (9181de)

  325. narcissiest

    Icy (82e293)

  326. Stolen from Theo’s blog:

    So the Romneys are selfish for keeping a horse? And employing a groom with a family to support? And paying for feed that’s sold by someone with a family to support and transported in trucks by someone with a family to support and manufactured in a factory by people with families to support from stuff that’s grown by farmers with families to support? And having a barn built by construction workers with families to support with materials trucked by drivers with families to support from factories with workers with families to support?

    Sounds to me like that one horse has done more to put Americans to work than that horse’s ass in the White House. AMEN!!!!!!!!

    SPQR (26be8b)

  327. This damn halo… Can’t any of you incompetents get me a friggin’ halo that WON’T FALL OFF!!

    Dedicated_Dad (afdd55)

  328. Having now read all the comments, I’ve got to give a H/T to #33 – “htom” – though since my version was better (heh!) I’m still “in the running”…

    I’ve got to tell you guys that you’re a pretty funny, witty, creative bunch! Might have to check in ’round here more often!

    I’ve also got to say that #259 (“Behold the spark of human ingenuity! Watch as I crush it.”)

    and #321 (“President Obama shares a brief moment with his ego, which outgrew the confines of his skull early in his first term.”) are almost as good as mine! ;oP

    In truth, as much as it pains me to say it, I think #259 is “Are Winnar!” – by a nose!

    Our Dear Reader would say EXACTLY that, IMHO!

    PS: Boy – they’re really rolling out the messianic imagery again, aren’t they… Think it will work this time around? After some consideration, I have to say that it WILL work on some folks, but they’re the ones who will vote for him no matter what, so they really don’t need it!

    Still – nothing “subtle” about our Barry, is there…

    DD

    Dedicated_Dad (afdd55)

  329. “The price of govt. has just gone up and your old lady has just gone down.”

    harkin (1d0d3f)

  330. cue up famous Debbie Boone song;

    “And youuuu light up my life, you give me hope and change…”

    Elephant Stone (65d289)

  331. “Poppies… Poppies. Poppies will put them to sleep. Sleeeeep. Now they’ll sleeeeep! “

    Lesley (6d2182)

  332. “We shall meet again soon. Tell Saruman that this dainty is not for him. I will send for it at once.”

    (“The Palantir”, chapter 11, “The Two Towers”)

    Nate Whilk (095050)

  333. I must amend the lyrics to the aformentioned famous Debbie Boone song;

    “And youuuu, light up my life lies….you give me hope and change…”

    Elephant Stone (65d289)


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