Patterico's Pontifications

4/18/2012

Hitler Finds Out Obama Ate His Dog

Filed under: General — Patterico @ 7:43 pm



It’s funnier than Hitler finding out Obama spent $5 trillion of his money.

41 Responses to “Hitler Finds Out Obama Ate His Dog”

  1. Just saw the movie again recently. Great show. Showed Hitler as human and not totally insane, if somewhat delusional.

    (But probably no more delusional than most people; just about different things.)

    Random (fba0b1)

  2. That was one of the best ones ever — especially because Hitler loved dogs.

    Totally worked!

    Random (fba0b1)

  3. Fluffy!!!

    elissa (0377f7)

  4. Wondering if Dog , is the “other white meat” kinda like pork. And if so, if that was considered racist to eat it. And when eating Dog as a child, how it was somehow Bush’s fault ?

    builderD (e38b80)

  5. Never gets alt.

    Gazzer (75ef82)

  6. Raaaaaacists!!!!

    daleyrocks (bf33e9)

  7. Wasn’t Hitler’s dog named Blondi?

    Simon Jester (3dcedc)

  8. Sure enough!

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blondi

    Given to him by Martin Freakin’ Bormann.

    Simon Jester (3dcedc)

  9. Heh.

    Dana (4eca6e)

  10. Stole this from somewhere…
    Someone asked Barry if he could recommend something to eat and he said, “yeah, I know a good Spot…”

    Gazzer (75ef82)

  11. anyone seen toto?

    sickofrinos (44de53)

  12. Hitler was insane in every sense of the word. He did not like the world he was born in and tried to make a new one. Most insane do it inside their heads, in their fantasies. He infected a whole people with it and they fulfilled it.

    nk (875f57)

  13. The Fuehrer characterized it as nothing short of absurd that Frederick the Great, for instance, was buried under the cupola of the Potsdam Garrison Church, contrary to his wish to be interred beside his dogs in the park of San Souci. Thank God, English air raids have compelled us to end this condition The coffin of Frederick the Great has been placed where it is safe from bombs. The Fuehrer will never restore it to the Potsdam Garrison Church. Either an imposing mausoleum in Greek style is to be built for Frederick the Great in the park at San Souci, or he is to be laid to in the great Soldiers’ Hall of a new War Ministry yet to be constructed. Personally, I should prefer that the wish of the great king be fulfilled and he be given his last resting place in San Souci. The Fuehrer, too, rather inclines to this view. But these are problems that we shall have to face only on the morrow.

    The Fuehrer spoke very derogatorily abut the arrogance of the higher and lower clergy. The insanity of the Christian doctrine of redemption really doesn’t fit at all into our time. Nevertheless, there are learned, educated men, occupying high positions in public life who cling to it with the faith of a child. It is simply incomprehensible how anybody can consider the Christian doctrine of redemption as a guide for the difficult life of today. The Fuehrer cited a number of exceptionally drastic and in part even grotesque examples. The opinionated “sky pilots” of course know exactly how the world is constituted. Whereas the most learned and wisest scientists struggle for a whole lifetime to study but one of the mysterious laws of nature, a little country priest from Bavaria is in a position to decide this matter on the basis of his religious knowledge. One can regard such a disgusting performance only with disdain. A church that does not keep pace with modern scientific knowledge is doomed……

    ….The Fuuhrer is an enthusiastic advocate of pure science….It was a great mistake that we failed to win science over to support the new state. That men such as Planck are reserved, to put it mildly, in their attitude toward us is the fault of Rust and is irremediable. It makes one sad to think that the Fuehrer is so tremendously interested in the tasks and researches of science, and yet our research men and scientists do not realize this because they do not know it…..

    – The Goebbels Diaries, edited, translated and with an introduction by Louis P. Lochner (Doubleday and Company, 1948) in entry to May 12, 1943, pages 374 and 375

    The situation in Croatia can by no means be regarded as settled in the last purge; it continues to be strained. More than 13,000 rebels were killed, among them a great many intellectuals. The fight against European unification through the Axis Powers is for the most part carried on by intellectuals. The broad masses of the people, on the whole, are uninterested in this struggle.

    I have devoted exhaustive study to the Protocols of Zion. The the past the objection was always made they were not suited to present day propaganda. In reading them now I find that we can use them very well. The Protocols of Zion are as modern today as when they were published for the first time……

    …At noon, I mentioned this to the Fuehrer. He believed the Protocols were absolutely genuine…The Jewish question, in the Fuehrer’s opinion, will play a decisive role in England… In all the world, he said, the Jews are alike. Whether they live in a ghetto of the East or in the bankers’ palaces of the City or Wall Street, they will always pursue the same aims and without previous agreement even use the same means. One might well ask why there are any Jews in the world order? That would be exactly like asking why are there potato bugs? Nature is dominated by the law of struggle. there will always be parasites who will spur this struggle on and intensify the process of selection between the strong and the weak. The principle of struggle dominates also in human life. One must merely know the laws of this struggle to be able to face it. The intellectual does not have the natural means of resisting the Jewish peril because his instincts have been badly blunted. Because of this fact, the nations with a high standard of civilization are exposed to this peril first and foremost. In nature life always takes measures against parasites; in the life of nations this is not always the case. From this fact the Jewish peril actually stems. There is therefore no other recourse left for modern nations except to exterminate the Jews….

    ….There is no hope of leading Jews back into the fold of civilized humanity by exceptional punishments. They will forever remain Jews, just as we are forever members of the Aryan race.

    The Jew was also the first to introduce the lie into politics as a weapon. Aboriginal man, the Fuerher believes, did not know the lie…

    …The higher the human being developed intellectually, the more he acquired the ability of hiding his innermost thoughts and giving expression to something different from what he really felt. The Jew as an absolutely intellectual creature was the first to learn this art. He can therefore be regarded not only as the carrier but even the inventor of the lie among human beings. Because of their thoroughly materialistic attitude, the English act very much like the Jews. In fact they are the Aryans who have acquired most of the Jewish characteristics…

    – Ditto from May 13, 1943.

    Comments:

    1) So intellectuals are stupid fools, unless they are Jews, in which case they are clever liars.

    2) Things don’t bode well for the English.

    The nations that have been the first to see through the Jew and have been the first to fight him are going to take his place in the domination of the world.

    – Ditto, May 13, 1943.

    Comment: Hitler argues to Goebbels that his anti-semitism is a reason they will win. Mentioning the Protocols seems to have launched him into a tirade.

    Sammy Finkelman (2972ba)

  14. He was also a strict vegetarian. There is a documented conversation where he says that when he rules the world, no one will eat meat.* Then he took poachers, who knew woodcraft, out of prison and formed them into Einsatzgruppen to hunt down Jews.

    *The Nazis documented everything. Helped to hang them at Nuremberg.

    nk (875f57)

  15. And, yes, Random. Evil is a human quality. It does not come from the Devil.

    nk (875f57)

  16. So three Italian nuns, cloistered, come to America for the first time. One of them says, “I have heard Americans eat dogs”. The other nuns say, “No!” To test it, they stop at a hot dog stand and order three hot dogs. The first nun gingerly opens the bun and, shocked, turns to the other two and asks, “Which part did you get?”

    nk (875f57)

  17. Dogs are supposed to be satan in islam so I am surrprised he used to eat them. Kind of a satanic communion, maybe.

    j curtis (816b7b)

  18. Narciso – I suspect it was one of Bill Ayers’ epicurean adventures. Now Obama is stuck with Dog-nibbling imagery. Heh.

    SarahW (b0e533)

  19. I don’t know if anyone has yet mentioned the worst part about the Obama dog eating story. He gives a culinary critique of the dog meat. He says it’s more tender than snake.

    Think about it, would you be noting its relative tenderness to other exotic foods if you were somehow forced to eat dog? This guy doesn’t have a soul.

    j curtis (2e3195)

  20. Ah, I love the sound of bouncing rubble in the morning.

    MSE (6bf069)

  21. Comment by j curtis — 4/19/2012 @ 11:27 am

    I don’t know if anyone has yet mentioned the worst part about the Obama dog eating story. He gives a culinary critique of the dog meat. He says it’s more tender than snake.

    He said it the other way around. He said it was tough – in other words, no good. But snake meat was tougher (even worse!)

    What was good was grasshopper.

    He doesn’t mention or know it, but grasshopper is actually kosher. Or some of them are, and there are some Jews, mostly Yemenites, who have a tradition of eating it. Apparently this is only if the 4 front legs are quite different from the last two and not used for locomotion.

    http://matzav.com/video-rav-chaim-kanievsky-confirms-famous-grasshopper-story-discusses-kashrus-of-chagavim

    Sammy Finkelman (d22d64)

  22. No, he gave a culinary critique that dog was more tender than snake. It might be tougher than Sumatra tiger or Borneo pygmy elephant, or whatever he was using as a tenderness baseline, but he claimed the dog he ate was more tender than snake. The point is that you are really enjoying the flavor if you’ve move passed that and are now considering how much it exercised your teeth.

    j curtis (2e3195)

  23. Comment by nk — 4/19/2012 @ 4:57 am

    He was also a strict vegetarian.

    That was for health reasons. He claimed his constitution was different and he couldn’t eat it.

    Hitler, in addition to everything else, was also a health nut. In fact, if he hadn’t been a health nut or hypochondriac of some sort he wouldn’t have started World War II.

    Hitler felt that man is not good for anything after the age of 56 because Charles V of Spain, ruler of the Holy Roman Empire retired at the age of 56 in 1556.

    This meant he couldn’t wait. Hitler actually paused a few days in late August 1939, when warned by the British that an invasion of Poland this would mean a second World War, but then decided to go ahead.

    Somebody else might have postponed his plans a feq yeasr.

    Then what do you say about someone actually that close to death and disability, – somebody in his 70s? Why don’t they start wars?

    What happens is that most of the decline is very gradual and it has no termination date. There are always a few more years.

    But while the decline is gradual, actually it is pounctuated by abrupt declines. Something happens to abruptly increase someone’s disabilities and make him focus on other things. So someone like Hafez el Assad of Syria is sort of tricked out of his plans for aggressive war.

    Also, if they have children they care about, that causes them to wait. Hafez el Assad let all opportuinities for aggressive war slip by after 1973. The Kims in North Korea have waited – and two generations of dictators have died in the meantime.

    Even Ayatollah Khomeini waited. When he made peace with Iraq he probably didn’t think he was very near death. Hugo Chavez thought he had more time – until suddenly he didn’t.

    Having a few good years ahead of you, but not more than five or six, is a situation taht doesn’t really arise.

    At 70 well, you don’t say just till 75. At 76 a dictator wouldn’t say just till 82. Even Mugabe thinks he has more time. There’s no exact cutoff date. There’s not a situation where the end is far enough in the future to do things, but not so far that waiting for a better opportunity is not a possibility.

    But Hitler thought he was in this situation, and therefore he started World War II and was not deterred.

    Of course now maybe there’s maybe Ayatollah Seyed Ali Hosseini Khamenei. He’s now 72 and maybe he doesn’t want to get swindled out of an opportunity.

    The diffeernce there may be that if Iran passes up the opportunity now he can’t hope he’ll get one again in the usual 5 or 6 year time frame people may hope for. He knows that if dismantles the artomic bomb program it will take longer, and he doesn’t have 15 years.

    The extremely long tiem frame for restarting the atomic bomb program after dismantling it is an important factor.

    What about World War I? In that case, the German general staff thought they were in a superior position for some years and that’s why they were not deterred. The big problem for them was trying to figure out a way to trigger a war.

    Japan also hoped that it might prevent the United states from being able to interfere by bombing Pearl Harbor and they didn’t want to have their conquests stall in China. These last two were more military miscalculation because you had different people than previously running the military.

    Sammy Finkelman (d22d64)

  24. Where does it say anywhere that Obama used the word tender?

    Sammy Finkelman (d22d64)

  25. There is a documented conversation where he says that when he rules the world, no one will eat meat.* Then he took poachers, who knew woodcraft, out of prison and formed them into Einsatzgruppen to hunt down Jews.

    *The Nazis documented everything. Helped to hang them at Nuremberg.

    They did save although they tried to destroy some things but theprocess was very incomplete. I am not familiar with this no one will eat meat comment. It sounds like it might come from the table talk. He wanted nobody around him to smoke, but didn’t care if anybody else smoked – except for members of the SS. He didn’t care about anybody else’s health.

    Sammy Finkelman (d22d64)

  26. I thought the Einsatsgruppen were all members of the SS. This might be some people recruited to help them.

    Here is some detail I found:

    http://www.holocaustresearchproject.org/einsatz/dirlewanger.html

    It’s more regular warfare, although criminally waged, combined with execution of prisoners and hostages.

    During 1940 another action was ongoing concerning the possible formation of a special new unit. SS-Gruppenfuhrer Karl Wolff placed a telephone call to the Reich’s Minister of Justice. Wolff stated that it was Hitler’s wish to grant amnesty for selected poachers for the purpose of sending them to the front.

    The Fuhrer wanted only those poachers who had hunted illegally with firearms and not those who had used traps or snares. In addition Hitler was only interested in poachers from Bavaria or Austria as opposed to other areas of the Reich.

    Dirlewanger and his command

    The poachers would be organized into a special “Sharpshooter” company and would fall under the governance of the SS. Meanwhile Dirlewanger successfully overturned his conviction from 1934 and in Saturday, May 25, 1940 he was fully exonerated.

    With the assistance of Gottlob Berger, and other “high connections” Himmler was convinced to reconsider Dirlewanger’s application and on June 24th 1940 Oskar Dirlewanger was admitted into the Waffen-SS.

    September 1940, at the suggestion of Gottlob Berger (Head of the SS –Recruitment Department) Dirlewanger now an SS-Hauptsturmfuhrer, was made commander of the special SS detachment of convicted criminals, murderers and convicted poachers.

    The SS-Sonderkommando Dirlewanger was born.

    This did combat partisans. They also broke some Nazi rules, because after all they had been in jail. It was extremely brutal too.

    http://www.mazal.org/archive/imt/04/IMT04-T481.htm

    INTERNATIONAL MILITARY TRIBUNAL VolumeVolume IV Page 481 (and page 482)

    COL. POKROVSKY: Do you know anything about the existence of a special brigade consisting of smugglers, poachers, and Persons released from prison?

    VON DEM BACH-ZELEWSKI: When all the troops really suitable for anti-partisan warfare had been withdrawn, an anti-partisan battalion under the command of Dirlewanger was formed….officially it consisted of so-called poachers, but it did include real criminals convicted of burglary, murder, et cetera.

    COL. POKROVSKY: How do you explain the fact that the German Army Command so willingly strengthened and increased its forces by adding criminals to them and then using these criminals against the partisans?

    VON DEM BACH-ZELEWSKI: I am of the opinion that this step was closely connected with a speech made by Heinrich Himmler at Weselsburg at the beginning of 1941, prior to the campaign against Russia, when he spoke of the purpose of the Russian campaign, which was, he said, to decimate the Slav population by 30 million, and that it was in order to achieve this purpose that troops of such inferior caliber were introduced.

    COL. POKROVSKY: Is it correct then to say that the character of the troops used by the commanders to fight the partisans had been given careful consideration? Did they receive precise instructions how to treat the population and how to fight against the partisans? I am now referring to the proposed and officially sanctioned extermination of the population.

    VON DEM BACH-ZELEWSKI: Yes, I think this purpose was a decisive factor in the selection of certain commanders and formations….

    ….COL. POKROVSKY: Do you know of any order prescribing the seizure of hostages and the burning of villages as a reprisal for abetting the partisans?

    VON DEM BACH-ZELEWSKI: No. I do not think that written orders to that effect were ever issued, and it is precisely this lack of any orders which I considered a mistake. It should, for instance, have been definitely stated how many people could be executed as a reprisal for the killing of one, or of 10 German soldiers.

    COL. POKROVSKY: Am I to understand that if certain commanders burned villages as a punitive measure against the local population, they, the commanders, would be acting on their own initiative?

    VON DEM BACH-ZELEWSKI: Yes. These steps would be taken by a commander on his own initiative. Nor could his superior officers do anything against it, since orders emanating from the highest authorities definitely stated that if excesses were committed against the civilian population in the partisan areas, no disciplinary or juridical measures could be taken.

    Sammy Finkelman (d22d64)

  27. Comment by j curtis — 4/19/2012 @ 7:12 am

    Dogs are supposed to be satan in islam so I am surrprised he used to eat them. Kind of a satanic communion, maybe

    I think it was most likely his mother who fed him dog.

    Sammy Finkelman (d22d64)

  28. If he had used the words: “dog meat is more tender than snake”, then it would be fair to say that he thinks snake is tougher than dog. Are you really having this much difficulty with such basic logic?

    j curtis (2e3195)

  29. Apparently this is only if the 4 front legs are quite different from the last two and not used for locomotion.

    The humor content of religious dietary restrictions — regardless of the religion — knows no bounds.

    Smock Puppet, 10th Dan Snark Master (8e2a3d)

  30. Comment by j curtis — 4/19/2012 @ 1:16 pm

    If he had used the words: “dog meat is more tender than snake”, then it would be fair to say that he thinks snake is tougher than dog. Are you really having this much difficulty with such basic logic?

    The difference is, if he had said it your way, he might think both are good – the way he said it, both are bad (hard to eat)

    He was only introduced to it also, meaning he probably ate it only once.

    And not at the dinner table. That would mean some ritual or some unusual family his mother, the anthropologist, was interested in. It’s a Polynesian custom and you might find some people like that in Indonesia.

    Sammy Finkelman (d22d64)

  31. The difference is, if he had said it your way, he might think both are good

    How do you know he doesn’t think both are good? I prefer my meat to have some chew to it. Regardless, he doesn’t seem opposed to giving it another shot if you can convince him that you know how to cook it juuuust riiight.

    j curtis (2e3195)

  32. Thank you, Sammy. Dirlewanger was the one I had in mind, and he was responsible for exterminating Jews, among other things. Himmler was so sickened by one of his atrocities that he looked for alternatives to machine-gunning and mass graves. The gas vans and the showers and ovens.

    The Einsatzgruppen were part of the Waffen-SS but they were also detached to the Wehrmacht as scouts and “anti-partisan” activity. No part of the German military was innocent of complicity in atrocities.

    As I understand the SS, there was the Algemeine SS (the black uniforms we see on television), the Waffen SS, the Sicherheitdienst, and the Totenkopf who ran the camps. Later, as the need for fighting men became bigger, the Totenkopf formed a Waffen SS Division. I have seen pictures of Einsatzgruppen in both Algemeine dress and gray or camouflage dress.

    nk (875f57)

  33. All this because a child of seven or eight years old (Obama) was fed a variety of indigenous foods—including dog meat—at the behest of his father. All this to counter Mit Romney’s family’s practice of traveling with there dog strapped to the roof of their car while hurtling across the freeways at 60 mph—what torture (why couldn’t the dog ride inside their station wagon—or be left at a kennel).

    There are two important differences between the Obama and Romney stories: 1) Obama was a child being told what to do by his father; 2) Romney was a thirty year old man making his own decision.

    tadcf (6f3ab1)

  34. How many places have you spammed that, tadcf?
    Show of hands, who here has managed to never eat a dog?

    JD (89e14d)

  35. Ate venison, no dog. Of course who knows what exotic meats are used in some restaurants. How many malcontents urinate or spit in food or drinks? That saint Jesse Jackson admitted spitting in a customer’s sandwich when he worked fast food eons ago. I think horse meat is big in parts of enlightened euroweenie land. Recent yahoo story caught a guy spitting in customer’s tea after they complained it was not sweet enough. Knew a guy who once worked as cook at Philly Naval yard. Claims he’d get drunk and vomit in those big vats of food.
    As far as dog being on roof of Willard’s car- I thought dogs liked wind in their faces? I’ve been on motorcycles without a helmet and doing over 100 with wind in my face. Big whoop.
    Who here would actually vote for a Mormon anyway? Are not people aware of the evil vices of Mormonism? After all HBO has a show with Bill Paxton as polygamist. Had to laugh when some lib zombie was outraged about Romney’s great-grandpappy being a polygamist and yet Obama’s own daddy dearest was one. Mormons are evil unless they run the Senate. Now there’s one big, corrupt assclown Harry Reid.

    Calypso Louis Farrakhan (d32e4c)


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