Patterico's Pontifications


Sockpuppet Friday (Wit and Wisdom of Joe Biden edition)

Filed under: 2012 Election — Karl @ 11:12 am

[Posted by Karl]

As usual, you are positively encouraged to engage in sockpuppetry in this thread. The usual rules apply.

Please, be sure to switch back to your regular handle when commenting on other threads. I have made that mistake myself.

Sockpuppet comments about the Republican primary race are strictly prohibited. If you wish to use sockpuppets for that purpose, confine your comments to this thread. Same goes for any discussion that is not funny where people want to get angry at each other. Offending comments will be summarily deleted and the violators flogged.

And remember: the worst sin you can commit on this thread is not being funny.

Byron York polices the Sheriff:

Vice President Joe Biden offered a frank assessment of his career in remarks at a Democratic fundraiser in Chicago Thursday night. According to a White House pool report, Biden, surrounded by the city’s movers and shakers, praised former Mayor Richard M. Daley and then said: “I never had an interest in being a mayor ’cause that’s a real job. You have to produce. That’s why I was able to be a senator for 36 years.”


From an opposite perspective, Biden’s remarks recalled the criticism Sarah Palin, a former mayor herself, once made in 2008 about then-candidate Barack Obama’s qualifications to be president. “I guess a small-town mayor is sort of like a community organizer, except that you have actual responsibilities,” Palin told a cheering at the Republican National Committee that year. Now, Biden says being a mayor was something to be avoided “’cause that’s a real job.”

Even today, inside the liberal bubble, they freak out when people like Mitt Romney suggest Pres. Obama’s resume was a bit lacking.  There will be no outrageous outrage from the left about the Veep, which likely says less about their hypocrisy than it does about the irrelevance of Sheriff Joe.


83 Responses to “Sockpuppet Friday (Wit and Wisdom of Joe Biden edition)”

  1. Ding!

    Karl (f07e38)

  2. I’m just waiting for Biden to comment about how Obama’s decisions were weightier than FDR’s decision to drop the atomic bombs on Japan.

    509th Bob (96a8a6)

  3. Well, if you are… WAIT, never mind! I just pee’d in my pants.

    JudgeNJury (be55fb)

  4. Yes, yes. I understand. I will transmit this information to Vladimir.

    Dmitry (6f9de7)

  5. This guy is doing my job for me!

    Alex Jones (6f9de7)

  6. Well, we weren’t going to roll in our graves on our own, right?

    George, Thomas, Benjamin, et al (6f9de7)

  7. Speaking of Biden, where’s D’oh Biden at these days?

    Ghost (6f9de7)

  8. Another job that’s really hard, is owning a donut shop or a 7/11. That’s why they’re owned by those folks with Indian accents—because they’re hard workers. They’re hard to understand with those accents, too !

    Joe Biden (0ae97d)

  9. Hi, I’m Charles Johnson.

    Just thought I’d peek my head out of the closet to see what’s going on over here.
    I’m formerly the proprietor of the anti-jihadist website known as

    Currently, I’m the proprietor of the anti-anti-jihadist website known as

    I used to be concerned with fighting the jihadists, until I realized that many people on the right are opposed to same-sex marriage, so that motivated me to change my perception of jihadists. Now, instead of fighting the jihadists, I like to fight the people who fight the jihadists.

    I also used to be a Dodgers fan, until one day at Dodger Stadium, another Dodgers fan poured a beer over my head, so that elicited me to stop rooting for my beloved Dodgers, and begin rooting for the Dodgers’ arch-rivals—the San Francisco Giants.

    Anyhow, I hope some of you will come check out my website. You may enjoy it if you believe as I do, that fighting against Sarah Palin, Rick Santorum, Pamela Geller, and are infinitely more important than fighting against jihadists, or scaling down the national debt. After all, jihad and the national debt are only problems in the eyes of racists and homphobes.

    Charles Johnson (0ae97d)

  10. Oops, I misspelled “homophobe,” and I meant to write “is” rather than “are” after
    I actually do know about noun-verb agreement, as well as how to identify the subject of a sentence.
    I just don’t know how to identify right from wrong.

    For instance, according to my Associated Press handbook, in any news story involving Obama and his responsibility for the national debt, the word “Republican” is ALWAYS the subject !

    Charles Johnson (0ae97d)

  11. Vice President Biden – Please be sure to thank Dr. Pepper again at your next public event. I love it when you do stuff like that.

    Comedy Gold!

    daleyrocks (bf33e9)

  12. Hey, a couple weeks ago, Obama slandered Rutherford B. Hayes.

    I’m an obscure 19th century President—what do I have to do to get mentioned on Twitter ?! Provide proof that when I visited Austria back in the 1880s, I attempted to speak “Austrian” to the natives ?! Heck, I can even name all “57” states !

    Chester Arthur (0ae97d)

  13. “Dr. Pepper, I’d like to introduce you to Jack Daniels, the Governor of Indiana ! His state of Indiana is where all those Indians who own donut shops and 7/11s come from !”

    Joe Biden (0ae97d)

  14. Wouldn’t you like to be a Biden, too!

    Dr. Pepper (721840)

  15. For some reason, people still think I am a Republican.

    Mortimor B. Zuckerman New York Daily News Publisher (d22d64)

  16. Anyone that dares to publish MY address had better be prepared for a big-time lawsuit!

    ’cause I’m fair that way.

    Roseanne's Nutsack (ef96c5)

  17. Mort said something about being a Republican, but I wasn’t sure that I heard him right — my schwang being in his mouth at the time.

    Warren Buffett (ef96c5)

  18. I keep tryin’ ta think, but nuttin happens!

    Curly (8096f2)

  19. Aw shaddup!

    Moe (be55fb)

  20. What is it that Richard Daley is supposed to have achieved?

    Skittles Martin (36e9a7)

  21. Don’t you morons know why I picked Biden for my VP? What better guarantee could I have against impeachment?

    Barack I've Got Two Illegals From My Family Living In America Obama (dec503)

  22. You only run twice, for President
    One term for yourself, and one for Vlad

    You vote present for years and life seems tame
    Till the election appears for hope and change

    And hope is a stranger who’ll beckon you on
    Don’t think of the danger or the hope is gone

    This dream is for power, so give me some space
    Make me flexible, I’ll only run twice

    Barack (330eed)

  23. that doesn’t rhyme for sh*t

    Barack (330eed)

  24. Self-defense? Never heard of it.

    Don't you get surly with me! (ef96c5)

  25. And they said I’m the idiot,

    sarah palin (6db04f)

  26. Slink ^^^

    harpyfoot (ef96c5)

  27. “Boom Boom, Out go the Skittles!”

    Pat "Zimmerman" Travers (403dff)

  28. “Something tells me this little black duck has worn out his welcome.”

    President Lame-O (ef96c5)

  29. Nigga met his limit.

    All the fax are in (ef96c5)

  30. I’m like Will Rogers. I’ve never met a gaffe that I didn’t utter.

    Jo Jo Biden, Your Brain Is Calling (ef96c5)

  31. Racists !

    Charles Johnson (0ae97d)

  32. Roseanne and I will be starting a new show called “Twitter Feeds”.

    The concept is, people log onto the internet and read our Twitter feeds!

    Keith Olbermann (3681c4)

  33. No one ever remembers to thank me. =(

    Mr. Pibb (3681c4)

  34. Got myself fired . . . again.

    Worst Person … In … The Industryyyyyyyyyy!!!

    Olbermonkey (ef96c5)

  35. Oh how I love flying around the country in my big, private bird, with the peons picking up the tab. And especially when I don’t have to have that stinky BuhRock with me.

    Meechelle Obama, FLOTUS (3015aa)

  36. There should be a trial . . . regardless of whether or not there is enough evidence to file a criminal complaint . . . because trials are the ONLY way for the truth to come out . . . and that includes the truth that there never should have been a trial in the first place.

    t-i-workhereisdone-fosa (ef96c5)

  37. That’s what I was saying about the Affordable Care Act!

    They HAD to pass it so that the SCOTUS could decide if it was legal.

    Levi Sells Cartoon Legal Opinions In Town (ef96c5)

  38. You know what else goes good with Skittles? Me. =(

    Mr. Pibb (3681c4)

  39. Why do all the drinks with proper names get all the glory ?
    Dr. Pepper, Mr. Pibb, Jack Daniel’s, Jim Beam, et al.

    I deserve a little credit, too.

    Can’t I at least get the Secretary of Transportation to publicly thank me ?

    Mountain Dew (0ae97d)

  40. Legend has it that Mountain Dew can shrink your Doo Dads, maybe John McCain can thank you!


    Sleestak (3681c4)

  41. Some of my favorite quotes from my debate with that woman:

    I think it’s fair to say that I have almost as many friends on the Republican side of the aisle as I do the Democratic side of the aisle.

    [N]o one in the United States Senate has been a better friend to Israel than Joe Biden. I would have never, ever joined this ticket were I not absolutely sure Barack Obama shared my passion.

    When we kicked — along with France, we kicked Hezbollah out of Lebanon, I said and Barack said, “Move NATO forces in there. Fill the vacuum, because if you don’t know — if you don’t, Hezbollah will control it.”

    I haven’t heard how [McCain’s] policy is going to be different on Iran than George Bush’s. I haven’t heard how his policy is going to be different with Israel than George Bush’s. I haven’t heard how his policy in Afghanistan is going to be different than George Bush’s. I haven’t heard how his policy in Pakistan is going to be different than George Bush’s.

    It may be. But so far, it is the same as George Bush’s. And you know where that policy has taken us.

    We will make significant change so, once again, we’re the most respected nation in the world. That’s what we’re going to do.

    And I promise more of the same insight and forthrightness in the days to come

    [note: fished from spam filter. –Stashiu]

    VP Candidate Joe Biden (bf8ad7)

  42. Keith, fax us your resume.

    Al Jazeera (3681c4)

  43. moderation?

    [note: fished from spam filter. –Stashiu]

    VP Candidate Joe Biden (bf8ad7)

  44. Sorry Al, We are already reviewing it!

    RT Russia (3681c4)

  45. Dear Mr Odermann:

    We appreciate your interest in our publication, but we do not currently have an opening for a journalist with your credentials.

    It is possible, however, once the Mayan disaster begins to unfold in late October, that we will need added coverage of the end of the world. Please keep us in mind at that time.

    Weekly World News (bf8ad7)

  46. This time there is no escaping me Keith.

    Keith Olbermann's Bathtub (b7c5d7)

  47. Sit down Joe.

    sickofrinos (44de53)

  48. I asked olbermann if he wanted to work for infowars, but he said we’re too “facty” for his brand of journalism…

    Alex Jones (6f9de7)

  49. Keith,
    Current TV has had it with your sleaze and lack of ethics. That’s why they’ve hired me as your replacement.

    Eliot Spitzer (a18ddc)

  50. If Bush and Cheney had done as promised and voided future elections and declared themselves dictators for life, I would still be on the air!

    Yet, somehow, they infiltrated the brain of Gore and now my brilliance is silenced once again.

    Bush, Cheney and Gore are the WORST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD!

    Good night, sirs!

    Keith Olbermann's fetid underwear (b0b671)

  51. Just for the record, I never called anyone Dr. Pepper, which would be thick.

    Neil Kinnock (063632)

  52. Dear Keith, have you seen my ratings lately?

    And sorry, but all of my guest host slots are filled for the time being. Maybe Air America . . . ?

    Rush Limbaugh (f68855)

  53. Governor O’Malley, We think $2 a month fee (tax) on our citizens to build windmills in the oceans for power is rediculious. So we’ll apporve $1.50 instead.

    Maryland Democratic Legislators (a1fcca)

  54. Ginsburg, J., dissenting:

    The government’s failure to argue this notwithstanding, it is clear that the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act is clearly acceptable under the South African and Egyptian Constitutions, and therefore the majority errs when they hold that the whole fornicating thing must be declared unconstitutional.

    Associate Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg (f68855)

  55. Bend over county execs. We just passed a law to by pass county tax caps put in place by your citizens.

    Maryland teachers unions (a1fcca)

  56. Dear Ms Obama: We are becoming a bit concerned about the number of “family vacations days” your children are taking.

    As we are a private school and not required to have a minimum days per year for our students, we can certainly work with you.

    So on the next trip to Vegas how about paying for some teachers advisors to come with you?

    Friends School administrator (a1fcca)

  57. If the SCOTUS voids Obamacare, which for reasons I cannot comprehend, a law that a majority of the American public is not in favor of, Obama will be reelected.

    Harry Reid, soon to be minority leader of the Senate (a1fcca)

  58. I have been a big fan of Al Gore and Current TV since I first heard the words Release my Chaka!


    Sleestak (3681c4)

  59. I have been here and I’ll return scumbag democrats ruling Maryland,
    Power to the peepels!

    El Zippo, Sockpuppetof MD (a1fcca)

  60. Damn you Infowars for not hiring Keith!!!


    Sleestak (3681c4)

  61. Keith, we are hiring.

    Baghdad Bob (44de53)

  62. Hey everyone, it’s Charles Johnson at, here, again.

    Just thought I’d take a break from watching season 4 of “The L Word,” and I’d like to invite you to check out my website.

    If you believe in rearranging the deck chairs as the ship is sinking, my website is the place to be. There’s none of that right-wing nonsense about fighting jihadists, limiting the scope of government intrusion, reducing spending, reducing taxes, reducing regulation, adhering to the Constitution, or focusing on reducing the national debt.

    We’re all about getting down on our knees and getting a little elbow grease worked up about greenhouse emissions, same-sex marriage, and exposing racist motives in the hearts of conservatives everywhere.

    Seriously folks, the jihadists and the national debt are not threats to our nation—Sarah Palin and Dennis Prager are the real threats !

    Charles Johnson (0ae97d)

  63. Maybe we will finally be traded!

    Keith does weird stuff with us when no one is around. =[

    Keith's Baseball Card Collection (3681c4)

  64. Classic man, classic,

    Ron Burgundy (6db04f)

  65. The Lt. Gov of Wisconsin is a slut. In spite of facts to the contrary.

    Lame steam media in Wis. (a1fcca)

  66. Laugh all you want people.

    Remember, Tommy Xtopher still reports from the White House.

    Keith Olbermann (3681c4)

  67. Shhhhhhh, I’m under Keefs bed. He’s weeeping.
    Listen…shhhhhh. Listen……

    “Hullo? Yesh, this ish Keef. Hello Mr.Sorosh!! Mr Sorosh sir!! Yesh, I’ll be there bright and HIC early SHIR.”

    EMPTY BOTTLE OF GIN (694db4)

  68. Well, as an ex-mayor myself, I would say Uncle Joe got it half right. Being mayor is hard, but not as hard as being a talk-show host

    Jerry Springer ex-Mayor of Cincinnati (1688e5)

  69. “Going, going…gone !”

    Dan Patrick, former ESPN SportsCenter co-host with Keith Olbermann (0ae97d)

  70. What’s an obscure 19th century President got to do to get slandered by an obscure 21st century President, these days ?!

    Sheesh, Rutherford B. Hayes is getting all the play !

    Franklin Pierce (0ae97d)

  71. Damn you Infowars for not hiring Keith!!!


    Comment by Sleestak — 3/30/2012 @ 7:05 pm

    He’ll be on my show to talk about his proof that Al Gore is really Gorlax of the Lizard People!!

    We’re exposing you Sleestak! We’re exposin you good…

    (calls up Charlie Sheen)
    I got one of em talkin to me on the net! I told you try were real!

    Alex Jones (6f9de7)

  72. Oh, Franklin, you’re just the worst…

    No, seriously, bro, you sucked as a president.

    Ghost (6f9de7)

  73. Obama Faced Tougher Decisions Than FDR, Biden Says
    “I think I can say … no president, and I would argue in the 20th century and including now the 21st century, has had as many serious problems which are cases of first-instance laid on his table,” Biden said.
    “Franklin Roosevelt, where are you Franklin, stand up, let the people see you, Franklin faced more dire consequences, but in a bizarre way it was more straightforward.”

    Jonas Salk (b90e17)

  74. Charlie Sheen is a lackey running dog for the Masonic conspiracy!

    Now if you don’t mind, I just found out that Lana Del Rey is a lizard person.

    Silly Alex, the breeding war is much more important than the information war.


    Sleestak (3681c4)

  75. Come on, now are you serious, I blundered into the Civil War,beat that.

    james buchanan (6db04f)

  76. crappyfeet, don’t worry, we won’t hold it against you. We realize you’ll have “more flexibility” to be funny after the election.

    Vlad Putin (0ae97d)

  77. Charlie Sheen is a lackey running dog for the Masonic conspiracy!

    Not Charlie, too!

    Alex Jones (6f9de7)

  78. Well, I’m off for an afternoon at Bohemian Grove!

    You would not believe the Rape Barns they have there.

    The New World Order spares no expense when it comes to raping and/or barn type structures.


    Sleestak (3681c4)

  79. I can’t say that Slow Joe Biden is a bad worker.
    He’s stacked more BS higher than any of our other workers every day for the last 36 years. When he retires we’re going to give him a gold watch engraved as “Chief Bull S#@t Slinger”.

    Bandini Yard Foreman (dc4fc0)

  80. We are investigating ALL OF YOU.

    (especially you Sleestak!)

    The State Department (3681c4)

  81. Sleestaks reproduce quickly.

    In mere weeks, your world will be overrun by their scaly offspring.


    Sleestak (3681c4)

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