Patterico's Pontifications

3/4/2012

Found in a Dumpster: The Transcript of Barack Obama’s Call to Sandra Fluke

Filed under: General — Patterico @ 12:28 pm

I found this transcript in the dumpster where iowahawk finds all his discarded notes and transcripts. For some reason this one was in a box labeled “unfunny.” Anyway, here it is:

Hey, Sandra. Barack here. Hey, thanks for that testimony you gave. I know you thought it was risky because you’re really a 30-year-old activist, and that you claimed you have to pay $3000 for contraception when you can actually get free birth control from Planned Parenthood, and failing that can get birth control pills for 9 bucks a month at Target. I know you thought that might make you look like a whiny nanny-state activist who wants other people to buy her all the inexpensive things she might want.

But I could have told you not to worry. We got Eric Boehlert calling you a college student when he knows damn well you’re not. The newspapers aren’t going to report the real price of contraception or your age or past activism. Best of all, we got Rush Limbaugh to make fun of you in a way that he wasn’t willing to stand by when the advertisers started balking.

So that’s the story. You’re officially a victim now. The narrative is written.

There was this guy named Andrew Breitbart who went around telling everyone that the real problem in this country is the media. That every screwed-up policy that gets through Congress can ultimately be traced to an electorate misled by the cabal in charge of information. But he’s dead now, and I think that effectively killed his message.

So anyway, it was very helpful, Ms. Fluke, and I thank you for your service to your count — wait, someone just handed me a note. Something about that Breitbart guy’s message surviving his death. And they’re even talking about a newly designed Breitbart site coming online today. I, I gotta go, Ms. Fluke. I gotta go.

I have no idea what any of this means. I just pass it along.

33 Responses to “Found in a Dumpster: The Transcript of Barack Obama’s Call to Sandra Fluke”

  1. Found in the funny box: iowahawk’s tweets.

    Patterico (feda6b)

  2. By the way, that new Breitbart web site was supposed to be online already, I think. Looks the same as the old one to me. Hope it happens soon. The natives are getting restless.

    Patterico (feda6b)

  3. I figured it wasn’t Obama’s call to Sandra that people should be thinking about. Any word if Bill Clinton has checked in with her yet?

    daleyrocks (bf33e9)

  4. Are any of you going to the meetup in Breitbart’s memory in Santa Monica this evening? I’ll be there.

    Brother Bradley J. Fikes, C.O.R. (a48a84)

  5. I can’t decide whether or not to go. I’m not really an AoS Moron.

    MayBee (081489)

  6. I would but unfortunately can’t. I encouraged a friend to go; I hope he does.

    Patterico (feda6b)

  7. If Rush called Brian Terry a slut, maybe Teh Won would finally call his parents.

    JD (ddebbb)

  8. Incidentally, can anyone publish a medical diagnosis for why Robert Wright is such a tiresome prat with delusions of punditry?

    Simon Jester (2dbd65)

  9. “We got Eric Boehlert calling you a college student when he knows damn well you’re not.”

    She is.

    She’s enrolled in the Georgetown law school program.

    The interesting question is: how is she managing to pay for it (over $40,000 a year just in tuition) when she apparently has never had a real job in her life?

    We know she’s broke, because she can’t even afford to buy a few condoms per year, so…where’s the dough coming from that keeps her alive, and pays her truly huge college expenses?

    Inquiring minds want to know.

    Dave Surls (46b08c)

  10. Last week, several servicemen lost their lives in Afghanistan.

    I want to hear Obama’s phone calls to their families, not to some whiny crybaby who complains that Georgetown does not cover contraception, even though nine out of ten insurance companies offer that sort of coverage, and if she had such coverage (and met other conditions), she could waive the requirement to enroll in the university plan.

    Michael Ejercito (64388b)

  11. 10.. I believe a woman’s law school group in Los Angeles is footing Fluke’s annual $55,000 bill for the tony Georgetown Law School. Makes me wonder how I ever paid my own tuition to Villanova Law.

    Calypso Louie Farrakhan (d32e4c)

  12. what slutty slutty Fluke did on Limbaugh is really not a lot different than one of the more clever O’Keefe stunts really

    she really did a number on him

    happyfeet (3c92a1)

  13. I believe a woman’s law school group in Los Angeles is footing Fluke’s annual $55,000 bill for the tony Georgetown Law School

    Why does she not ask them to pay for her birth control?

    Michael Ejercito (64388b)

  14. I talk about what it does to us as a culture when health care is “free” and how it leads to things like the Fluke dustup, here.

    Aaron Worthing (73a7ea)

  15. Fluke refers to herself as being on a

    public interest scholarship

    Dana (4eca6e)

  16. “The interesting question is: how is she managing to pay for it (over $40,000 a year just in tuition) when she apparently has never had a real job in her life?”

    The first link on this post talks about her Linked in profile. That’s a place where you can find her job experience, as well as the scholarship she’s on.

    But she says something we don’t like, so we’re going to defame her.

    N0Bama (826205)

  17. Defame? Really?

    JD (ddebbb)

  18. “We got Eric Boehlert calling you a college student when he knows damn well you’re not.”

    She is.

    She’s enrolled in the Georgetown law school program.

    Law school is college?

    Patterico (feda6b)

  19. She is a professional activist. A femi-gogue.

    JD (ddebbb)

  20. Comment by MayBee — 3/4/2012 @ 12:47 pm

    I thought about it, MayBee, but felt a bit out of place not being an ‘moron’…so decided not to.

    Dana (4eca6e)

  21. Drat! Dana, MayBee! You don’t have to be a Moron to remember Breitbart! Oh well . . .

    Brother Bradley J. Fikes, C.O.R. (f5ff99)

  22. Hi Bradley,

    Mtup. post wasn’t clear…I erred on the side of caution and not being caught with morons not wearing their pants.

    Next time…

    Dana (4eca6e)

  23. If a private group is paying Fluke’s tuition, is there any way to find out whether the group or one of its members played a role in her statement and/or Congressional testimony?

    DRJ (a83b8b)

  24. Dana @5:03 –no surprise. We always guessed you’re a sweet old- fashioned girl.

    elissa (097996)

  25. Well, I don’t know about that, elissa, but I personally believe we should all keep our pants on in public. Hobos included.

    Dana (4eca6e)

  26. DRJ – why are you and Teh Patriarchy trying to deny her rubbers?

    JD (ddebbb)

  27. Too bad it was the transcript, and not the man-boy President.

    AD-RtR/OS! (abb459)

  28. Comment by Dave Surls — 3/4/2012 @ 12:59 pm

    If she has a “Sugar Daddy” of the non-feminist activist group type, does that make Rush right?

    AD-RtR/OS! (abb459)

  29. Man… I just lost whatever respect I still had for Jake Tapper…

    http://ace.mu.nu/archives/327190.php

    Colonel Haiku (bcfd1c)

  30. JD, she should have rubbers; can’t tell you how sick you can get trudging through the snow on your way to class in unprotected shoes.

    AD-RtR/OS! (abb459)

  31. If she has a “Sugar Daddy” of the non-feminist activist group type, does that make Rush right?

    Comment by AD-RtR/OS!

    Hey… leave some room in her womb!

    Colonel Haiku (bcfd1c)

  32. Whatever’s in there, Col., she can always have it removed.
    After all, that’s what “choice” is for!

    AD-RtR/OS! (abb459)


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