Patterico's Pontifications


Buffalo Teachers’ Free Plastic Surgery

Filed under: General — Patterico @ 1:06 pm

Nothing says “thanks for teaching my kid!” like a free boob job at taxpayer expense:

As thousands of teachers face layoffs across the country, teachers in Buffalo, New York are getting lipo? Yep. And nose jobs and whatever else they want. All on the taxpayers’ dime. How is this happening?

. . . .

The sweet deal that all the 3,400 teachers in Buffalo are eligible to get under one of their insurance plan options, they are billed nothing for any plastic surgery procedure, such as botox, liposuction, tummy tucks, and there is no deductible.

Linda Tokarz teaches second grade and says she gets regular treatments. She says, “I think its great for us. I wouldn’t want to see it taken away.”

Well, what’s the problem? The taxpayers can well afford it, right?

Of course they can’t:

Last year, Buffalo’s schools spent $5.9 million on plastic surgery which is also known as a cosmetic rider. And Buffalo teachers have had this rider for nearly four decades.

Now you might think Buffalo’s school district must be flush with cash to be offering perks like free plastic surgery, right? Wrong. Louis Petrucci, the president of the Buffalo Board of Education says he is projecting a $42 million deficit in next year’s school budget.

If it were up to me, I would put the matter to a vote. Then I would find out who the teachers were who voted for the benefit and fire them all.

But I guess that would be illegal or something. It reminds me of the classic Mr. Burns quote:

“Ironic, isn’t it Smithers? This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That’s democracy for you.” –Mr. Burns

Since my plan won’t work, here’s Plan B. Contact the hackers who used e-voting machines to elect Bender the robot from Futurama to the Washington D.C. school board (h/t Aaron Worthing) — and send them to Buffalo.

Plan C: establish fiscal sanity in this country.

Never mind. That plan is too far-fetched.

Thanks to Dana.

36 Responses to “Buffalo Teachers’ Free Plastic Surgery”

  1. if it’s free then it doesn’t cost anything

    that’s so cool

    happyfeet (3c92a1)

  2. “Nothing says “thanks for teaching my kid!” like a free boob job at taxpayer expense:”

    IDK but what there is not a certain segment of the student body that might appreciate school more if their teachers had bewb jobs.

    daleyrocks (bf33e9)

  3. just doing it FOR THE CHILDREN…

    Colonel Haiku (b3edb7)

  4. Hot for teacher

    Pious Agnostic (149706)

  5. Buffalo’d in Buffalo.

    Colonel Haiku (b3edb7)

  6. “Well, what’s the problem?”

    Same problem as always. If I refuse to pay for their nose jobs, people with guns will seize my money by force, and if I resist them, they’ll kill me.

    IOW, if I refuse to pay their bills or to defy anything the government orders, no matter how petty the issue, the ultimate penalty is death, if you resist.

    This is ALWAYS the problem with governments (and socialism).

    And, that’s why I favor the least amount of government we can get away with, and no socialism period.

    Dave Surls (46b08c)

  7. Given all of the pedophile activity and arrests for “backseat romance” between teachers and sch00lboys, there must be hot competition to enhance visible assets.

    Just sayin’…

    Colonel Haiku (b3edb7)

  8. *de-lurks*

    Monty over at Ace of Spades (among many others) have been warning for months about imminent bankruptcies happening at the municipal, county and state levels because of outlandish benefit obligations to public-sector employees. That something like this is going on doesn’t surprise me in the least.


    Paul (creator of Staunch Brayer) (67f9d7)

  9. I will fight to the death for their right to enhance those racks, suh!

    Colonel Haiku (b3edb7)

  10. I want visual evidence of said bewb jobs before I can pass judgement.

    Pious Agnostic (149706)

  11. Atta boys. The spirited old Patterico comment crew is BACK!!!

    elissa (097996)

  12. will fight for their right
    to bodacious ta-tas as
    Buffalo Soldier

    Colonel Haiku (b3edb7)

  13. I talk about what it does to us as a culture when health care is “free” and how it leads to things like the Fluke dustup, here.

    Aaron Worthing (73a7ea)

  14. btw, someone has to say it. with the epidemic of teachers sleeping with students, is it a good idea to pay to make them hotter?

    Aaron Worthing (73a7ea)

  15. A question for the lawyers here: Does this fall under the category of “attractive nuisance?”

    Pious Agnostic (149706)

  16. pious

    only if the teacher is a nuisance. and attractive.

    Aaron Worthing (73a7ea)

  17. btw, someone has to say it. with the epidemic of teachers sleeping with students, is it a good idea to pay to make them hotter?

    As I read this, my thoughts wandered back to my 7th grade English teacher, Miss Scully. Man was she built… like an offensive tackle.

    She was affectionately known as Tanker Teats. She was a good teacher.

    Colonel Haiku (b3edb7)

  18. What struck me was the comment in the linked video that teachers were grossly underpaid, thus justified in their plastic surgery benefit.

    However, when looking at the pay schedule (which is from 2003-04), one can see that it follows the same line as most districts – hire in with a B.A. around 32k a year and top out around 80K, depending on coursework hours and additional degrees.

    Also, it’s interesting to note from Wiki,

    The median income for a household in the city is $24,536, and the median income for a family is $30,614.

    Dana (4eca6e)

  19. _____________________________________________

    with the epidemic of teachers sleeping with students,

    Hell, in today’s era, that sounds almost quaint and schoolmarmish. I mean teachers, so far, at least have the good sense to not do something as bold as arranging a menage a trois with their students. Then again, after instructors obtain their new implants, one can only imagine what exciting new frontiers they’ll start exploring., March 2, 2012:

    Who knew that blindfolding students was part of the curriculum in the Los Angeles Unified School District? It was, until last week, when a senior district official nixed a lesson in a new fourth-grade reading program.

    The blindfolding of students attracted notice after the January arrest of Miramonte Elementary teacher Mark Berndt, who has pleaded not guilty to 23 counts of lewd conduct for allegedly photographing students blindfolded and being spoon-fed his semen.

    In light of that case, blindfolding “may be perceived negatively,” wrote Deputy Supt. of Instruction Jaime Aquino, in a Feb. 23 memo to principals. In an interview, Aquino acknowledged that blindfolds have been used in lessons for a long time. But it may be wise to use alternatives in the future, he said.

    These days, a principal must be “100% more vigilant,” said retired Assistant Supt. Angie Stockwell, who said she believes the directive makes sense. And “if I were a teacher today, I would be more cautious.”

    “What would be normal in one time becomes suspect in another,” she said. “When blindfolding, things can happen.” The decision to pay $40,000 to a former third-grade teacher who has been charged with committing lewd acts on students was the most immediate way to guarantee he would not be a threat to any other student, school officials said Friday.

    Mark Berndt was offered the settlement – the equivalent of approximately five months of salary and other related expenses – to drop an appeal of his firing last year, the Los Angeles Unified School District said in a statement.

    Berndt was removed from the classroom in January 2011 and dismissed as the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department was investigating him. He appealed but resigned in June after the settlement was reached.

    ^ Actually, I thought in today’s time everything can be deemed normal. Thanks, liberals. Your wondrous compassion makes my tears well up.

    Mark (31bbb6)

  20. “the epidemic of teachers sleeping with students”

    You think it’s bad now, you should been hanging around with us hippies, back in the free love days.

    I’m not even going to tell you what I was doing in my high school days.

    Too embarrassing.

    Dave Surls (46b08c)

  21. And Buffalo is collapsing. think of it as evolution in action

    corwin (7bfb06)

  22. This one might be for Surls…

    Colonel Haiku (b3edb7)

  23. The “Bender” link is wrong.

    Until it gets fixed, here’s a link to it, with some descriptions of what they did, including catching an actual attack in progress and stopping it.

    IgotBupkis, Hacker, Cracker, Thwacker (aacc3d)

  24. I live here (Buffalo)…we’ve been struggling with this for years. They also have abysmal graduation rates-suspend students on a whim- then refuse to accept anything that might link their pay to performance. The average teacher in BPS had a “c” in college. Don’t even get me started on the joke that is their administrative ranks… When am done with my second degree…i am running from this state!

    Pamela (e235c7)

  25. Pamela,

    What do voters say??

    Dana (4eca6e)

  26. “This one might be for Surls…”

    Thanks, dude. I keep meaning to add the Yardbirds to my Pandora list (I finally got fast internet a couple of months ago, way out here in the boonies…so I can use stuff like Pandora). That reminded me to do so.

    Loved those guys back in the day.

    Dave Surls (46b08c)

  27. Lucky you, Dave.
    My DSL service from AT&T is so bad here in Metro-L.A. that my Pandora keeps dropping off;
    and AT&T seems to be completely incapable of correcting the situation.

    AD-RtR/OS! (abb459)

  28. Here’s another one, Dave… same spirit, but w/Page:

    Colonel Haiku (bcfd1c)

  29. I could have gotten fast internet years ago, but we have our own network out here in the country, and I was just too lazy to pull cable over to the next house on the network.

    Around Christmas, my ex-wife got mad, because she’s always trying to call me, and can never get through on account of I’m always on dial-up, so she says “I’m buying you a roll of cable and a router, and you ARE going to get on that network”. I said “It’ll be a cold day in hell before I ever pull that cable”. Then a few days later one of my buddies shows up, and says “Get off your ass, we’re pulling that cable today”, despite my howls of protest.

    So we pulled the cable (cutting through the brush with machetes to get to the next house…I got poison oak!), I drilled a hole in the wall, ran the cable through, we termed it at both ends, hooked it all up…and voila, now I can watch Youtube stuff without waiting an hour for it to buffer, which means I can watch old Yardbirds videos on demand, which is way cool.

    There’s tons of bandwidth, and the reliability is pretty good, excellent considering it’s all run by one guy (one of my neighbors…who does it for free).

    Of course, now people can reach me on the phone, which cuts into my hermit lifestyle…but, hey, no system is perfect.

    Dave Surls (46b08c)

  30. I grew up in and outside of buffalo, and escaped out west for a brighter future. anyway, they are one step away from being detroit.

    they have such a bad problem with derelict homes that they have had a program for a few years now to demolish homes that have finally given up the ghost, ive been back and seen nieghborhoods with blank spots and whole streets missing homes now.

    detroit still leads in that with grids of streets and nothing no buildings, nada.

    buffalo is a welfare queen city

    rumcrook™ (4a9bee)

  31. Dave, just do what I do–keep your phone off the hook.

    Then I would find out who the teachers were who voted for the benefit and fire them all.

    Shouldn’t we more interesting in voting out of office whatever school board members approved this policy. They’re the ones who are supposed to be miserly with tax money…

    JBS (827a72)

  32. *Shouldn’t we be more interested*

    JBS (827a72)

  33. Our host wrote,

    Plan C: establish fiscal sanity in this country.

    Never mind. That plan is too far-fetched.

    Thanks to Dana.

    I think that’s way too harsh. In my experience, Dana is usually an advocate for fiscal sanity, and bears little of the blame than Plac C is too far-fetched.

    (Oh, wait, is this not the sock-puppet thread?)

    Emily Litella (bdfdef)

  34. Emily told me to tell y’all that she meant to write that Dana “bears little of the blame that Plan C is too far-fetched.” Also: “Never mind,” she said.

    Beldar (bdfdef)

  35. The cosmetic benefit has been used by approx 250 board of education employees out of the thousands of employees eligible. Not just teachers have this benefit, but we’re the only ones ever reported. Those 250 members are clearly abusing the benefit.

    The head of the teachers union is more than willing (begging) to give this benefit back as part of a new contract negotiation. We haven’t had a new contract since Y2K (1999).

    If the board of education spent half as much time negotiating in good faith with their unions as they do sending out press releases to influence public opinion, they could have gotten rid of this benefit almost a decade ago.

    Buffalo teacher (867741)

  36. How very generous and magnanimous of you.

    JD (580ac1)

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