Patterico's Pontifications

1/27/2012

Sockpuppet Friday (Moon Unit edition)

Filed under: General — Karl @ 6:46 am

[Posted by Karl]

As usual, you are positively encouraged to engage in sockpuppetry in this thread. The usual rules apply.

Please, be sure to switch back to your regular handle when commenting on other threads. I have made that mistake myself.

And remember: the worst sin you can commit on this thread is not being funny.

—

In the segment on space policy during last night’s CNN debate, Wolf Blitzer  observed that a lot of people have lost their jobs in Florida as a result of the decline of America’s space program.  It was left to the viewer to draw the inference that Newt Gingrich’s renewed emphasis on ideas like a permanent moonbase was perhaps not merely one of his recurring flights of futuristic fancy, but also an unsubtle pander to a bloc of voters in a key primary.  Left entirely unmentioned was the fact that space programs are among the very few Americans support cutting and the inferences that might be drawn about a politician who will pander away even low-hanging fruit.

–Karl

100 Comments

  1. Ding!

    Comment by Karl — 1/27/2012 @ 6:47 am

  2. we should send the alaskan snowbilly hoochie uterus mama into space so she don’t constantly tempt me with her microwave jpgs as I type one-handed ogodogodogodsarahbristolmoosehhhhhhh! . .

    Comment by happyfeet — 1/27/2012 @ 7:23 am

  3. HA!! HA!! I have a high IQ after all! And this totally unbiased study PROVES IT!!

    Comment by Joe Biden — 1/27/2012 @ 7:29 am

  4. I really enjoy mocking Indians. I can get away with it because the MSM give Democrats cover.

    Comment by VP Biden — 1/27/2012 @ 7:34 am

  5. If a mandate tasted like cheese sticks, woudja eat it?

    Comment by Harey Carey — 1/27/2012 @ 7:34 am

  6. another Obama FAIL…

    http://thearizonasentinel.com/2012/01/26/obama-failed-to-appear/

    Comment by kay2the2nd — 1/27/2012 @ 7:43 am

  7. I was so a Fannie Mae historian or something.

    Comment by Newt Gingrich — 1/27/2012 @ 7:44 am

  8. After decades of study, I still can’t pass the Turing Test.

    Comment by Mitt Romney — 1/27/2012 @ 7:50 am

  9. Not this shlt, again. You f@ckers ruin every single sock puppet thread.

    Comment by JD — 1/27/2012 @ 7:55 am

  10. Somebody fix my website!

    Comment by Patterico — 1/27/2012 @ 8:10 am

  11. Hmmmm…. get the unsuitable node message but seems to work if you go through the “last comment” link. Shoot I was hoping Ace would switch to this platform…oops!

    Comment by madawaskan — 1/27/2012 @ 8:15 am

  12. Whip Its, they’re not just for kids and desserts anymore!

    Comment by Demi Moore — 1/27/2012 @ 8:16 am

  13. After decades of study, I still can’t pass the Turing Test.

    Yet strangely enough, I can.

    Comment by Watson, Jeopardy! Champion of Champions — 1/27/2012 @ 8:28 am

  14. Does this work?

    Comment by Hello, My Name I Joe — 1/27/2012 @ 8:34 am

  15. ‘parrently not.

    Comment by Hello, My Name I Joe — 1/27/2012 @ 8:34 am

  16. I wonder if Solyndra needs a Historian?

    Comment by Callista — 1/27/2012 @ 8:36 am

  17. You can’t buy a Slurpee at 7-11 without a little curry and goat.

    Comment by VP Biden — 1/27/2012 @ 8:37 am

  18. :(

    Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

    Comment by JD — 1/27/2012 @ 8:47 am

  19. JD is a bad bad bad man. I know because I know things. I know things because I have an active imagination. I have an active imagination because I do drugs. I do drugs because the make the voices tell me to stop monkeymooning the potatohat.

    Comment by EPWJ — 1/27/2012 @ 8:49 am

  20. Am I still runnin’ for somethin’? I can’t remember what I was supposed to do today.

    Comment by Rick Perry — 1/27/2012 @ 8:51 am

  21. I personally vouch, staking my good name and reputation, on the existence of Barack Obama’s budget balancing plan.

    Tax cuts for 98% of americans? I promise that has already happened.

    Comment by Tommy X24rrr — 1/27/2012 @ 8:52 am

  22. shouldn’t the focus of the thread be on specifically what I insist it should be? Even if that makes absolutely no sense?

    I just don’t see how you doing what you want to learn what you want to learn will achieve totally unrelated goals that I came up with and seem relatively unimportant.

    Comment by seattle snooki — 1/27/2012 @ 8:56 am

  23. You have to admit, when NYC assumed a gun owning Navy SEAL was insane and had him thrown in an asylum without checking him out, we had a point. You’d have to be crazy to expect NYC to treat such a person fairly.

    Comment by Mayor Bloomberg — 1/27/2012 @ 9:09 am

  24. Bloomberg you islamophobe.

    Comment by EffyousidewaysBloomberg — 1/27/2012 @ 9:14 am

  25. Do Not Watch This Video

    Trust me, not your lying eyes. The video might make Newt look like a Reagan supporter encouraging Republicans to be more conservative, but don’t worry about that. Trust me, instead. I will [...] tell the truth.

    Comment by DRUDGE REPORT — 1/27/2012 @ 9:16 am

  26. Reagan is holy. Anyone disagreeing with him is automatically wrong, even if he was saying stuff like ‘balance the budget’. How can a budget deficit be a problem if Ronald Reagan was president at the time?

    Comment by Schizophrenic RINO — 1/27/2012 @ 9:18 am

  27. So, did everyone just adore my neon cobalt dress at the SOTU. All the other frumpy guests in my box faded into the background due to my brillance. I just love being the star of the show.

    Comment by Michelle Obama — 1/27/2012 @ 9:19 am

  28. So, did everyone just adore my neon cobalt dress at the SOTU.

    I totally thought it was great that you wore a $3000 dress to a speech where you ostensibly supported the 99%. It’s subtle humor like that which keeps life interesting.

    Kinda inappropriate look, too, for a SOTU, but enough to leave room for the sapphire stud bikini you plan to wear next year.

    Comment by 1% — 1/27/2012 @ 9:24 am

  29. Don’t try to pretend you have cajones on my turf, Buddy.

    Comment by Jan Brewer, Gov of AZ — 1/27/2012 @ 9:26 am

  30. Newt’s got a point. The Chinese are trying to get to the moon, why not us who have already been there and would have had a colony on it 30 years ago but for the democrats? is it a form of welfare? Sure. But considering the the trillions we have and are continuing to spend on slugs and junk like high speed rails to nowhere, I rather spend some money on geniuses who’s work will eventually lead to things that benefit us all. And while we are at it, lets restart the huge collider program in Texas that was killed off during the Clinton Administration.

    Comment by cubanbob — 1/27/2012 @ 9:55 am

  31. Let me be clear: I have the greatest respect for President Reagan. I think he personally understands the threat of communism.

    Comment by as loyal a friend and ally to Ronald Reagan as could be found in the day — 1/27/2012 @ 9:59 am

  32. Moon colony? I think I saw a moon colony just the other day. A bunch of people with their pants down around their ankles were bent over while looking at the ground at something behind them. I wanted to stop and go over to see what the thing on the ground was, but my Secret Service driver wouldn’t stop the car. I think it could have been a Big Effing Deal!

    Comment by Joe Biden — 1/27/2012 @ 10:29 am

  33. Antarctica has oxygen, water, etc. but only scientists are willing live there for short times.

    So let’s go colonize the moon! Who wants to volunteer to live where walking outside means instant death, plus you have to bring your own air?

    I hear the golfing is spectacular.

    Comment by Looney Newt — 1/27/2012 @ 10:36 am

  34. There’s a coincidence today. On this day 390 years ago, the great explorer Sir Francis Drake died aboard ship off the coast of Panama. In his lifetime the great frontiers were the oceans, and a historian later said, ‘He lived by the sea, died on it, and was buried in it.’ Well, today we can say of the Challenger crew: Their dedication was, like Drake’s, complete.

    The crew of the space shuttle Challenger honoured us by the manner in which they lived their lives. We will never forget them, nor the last time we saw them, this morning, as they prepared for the journey and waved goodbye and ‘slipped the surly bonds of earth’ to ‘touch the face of God.’

    Don’t Cut and Run

    Comment by A Real President — 1/27/2012 @ 10:40 am

  35. HEY! Leave my secretary alone!

    Just because I brought her up? Repeatedly? Schyeah. Who are YOU to question MY math? I’m friggin Warren Buffett and I don’t answer questions!

    Comment by Warren "Chris Crocker" Buffet — 1/27/2012 @ 10:40 am

  36. Yeah, guys. You’re supposed to accept what your betters tell you and not ask any questions. That it doesn’t make sense to you only proves you’re all idiots.

    Comment by President Barack H. Obama, Healer of Planets and Supressor of Tides, I mean Tax Brackets — 1/27/2012 @ 10:46 am

  37. Cigarettes are intolerable for airing on TV, but people drinking animal urine and animal semen in exchange for money is wholesome entertainment.

    … so long as there aren’t any chewing tobacco commercials. That would be gross!

    Comment by National Broadcasting Corporation, AKA GE AKA Democrats — 1/27/2012 @ 10:48 am

  38. I’m the smartest person in whatever room I happen to wander into.

    Comment by Sloe Joe — 1/27/2012 @ 1:11 pm

  39. Hey, if you were married to a no-talent pile of crap you’d be huffing some stuff, too!

    Comment by Demi — 1/27/2012 @ 1:19 pm

  40. Am I still runnin’ for somethin’? I can’t remember what I was supposed to do today.
    Comment by Rick Perry — 1/27/2012 @ 8:51 am

    Oh good! We’re safe . . . for awhile.

    Comment by The flock . . . and the ranch hands — 1/27/2012 @ 1:22 pm

  41. Which one was I, the dog or the pony?

    I must contemplate this while I hang out at one of my houses.

    Comment by Warren Buffett's secretary — 1/27/2012 @ 1:28 pm

  42. You vill NOT be critical of Ear Leader!

    Comment by MSM "analysis" of Gov Brewer — 1/27/2012 @ 1:31 pm

  43. Oh, hi! Hey, I’m pretty busy right now, directing my first movie — yep, branching out again — but I’ll be with you in a minute …

    “Okay, Miss Locklear, you’re the rehab veteran; Miss Moore is your new roommate in the lockdown facility. It’s a hot summer day and the a/c has just conked out. As the two of you are ‘getting comfortable’ Miss Park, in her starched white nurse’s uniform, walks in to give you your meds. All right, people, let’s make the magic happen! And . . . action!”

    Comment by Auteur Worthing — 1/27/2012 @ 1:46 pm

  44. Hmm… the leader of the most powerful nation-state on this puny planet looks most unappetizing. Maybe we should rethink our plans.

    Comment by A Really Big Canamint — 1/27/2012 @ 2:55 pm

  45. I like space adventures more space adventures please

    Comment by happyfeet — 1/27/2012 @ 3:34 pm

  46. Like I told everyone before, I’m outta here. The first thing I’m going to do is say goodbye to slick willie and take 2/3rds of our combined assets. Next my lovely assistant, is going to dump that worthless weiner guy, bring her child and move in with me.
    Na, na na na, hey, hey hey, goodbye!

    Comment by Hillary, Sec. of State and one big old mama. — 1/27/2012 @ 3:38 pm

  47. We like you Newt, and yes you could go toe to toe with the Obama guy in a debate, (although the liberal moderators will chew you).
    But we really need to nominate a guy who can win. Sorry bucko, you’re not it. Maybe Mitch of Indiana?

    Comment by The Republican populace — 1/27/2012 @ 3:43 pm

  48. bitchy mitchy is not ready for prime time anymore he wants to go unite with his happy Romney friends for to “save the safety net”

    hurray!

    I’ll be over here

    Comment by happyfeet — 1/27/2012 @ 3:44 pm

  49. Whaa, whaa.. That evil guy lied about me.

    Comment by Newt — 1/27/2012 @ 3:45 pm

  50. Actually, I was just telling everyone the truth, you liberal slut.

    Comment by Mitt — 1/27/2012 @ 3:46 pm

  51. I still love to be on top of things.

    Comment by Madonnagal — 1/27/2012 @ 3:50 pm

  52. Bottoms for me.

    Comment by Barney's Frank — 1/27/2012 @ 4:01 pm

  53. Hey diddle, diddle
    put the Newtie in the middle
    rode a shark jumped over the Moon

    Comment by JoePerryProject — 1/27/2012 @ 4:05 pm

  54. Be sure to check our wedding registery at Walmart. Looking forward to lots of nice things to start our new life together.

    Comment by Bwarney Frank & Fiance — 1/27/2012 @ 4:11 pm

  55. I advise Barney Frank to make sure his Tardasil injections are up to date before his nuptials.

    Comment by Rick Perry — 1/27/2012 @ 4:15 pm

  56. MOMMMMMIE!!!!!!! I want a MOONBASE but Uncle Willard says NO! Waaaaaaaaaaaah!

    Comment by Little Newton Leroy — 1/27/2012 @ 4:30 pm

  57. [X] To the moon, Alice! Bang-zoom!- Ralph Kramden, 1952
    [ ] To the moon, Callista! Bling-zoom! – Newt Gingrich, 2012

    Comment by TV GUIDE votes... — 1/27/2012 @ 4:36 pm

  58. [ ]Romney [ ] Gingrich [ ] Paul [ ] Santorum [X] boobs

    Comment by Dolly Parton votes... — 1/27/2012 @ 4:38 pm

  59. Newt, That there moon base thingy y’all talked about in Florida is a dang fine idea fer gettin’ jobs here in Texas.

    Oops.

    Comment by Rick Perry — 1/27/2012 @ 4:44 pm

  60. 123 delegates.

    Comment by Texas — 1/27/2012 @ 5:14 pm

  61. Have you had enough of London fog? New York snow and California smog?
    Would you say “arrive derci” to Rome in June?
    Then fly with me Lets go swinging on the moon.

    Comment by Mel Torme — 1/27/2012 @ 5:14 pm

  62. Ok you occupiers, this time we really, really mean it. No camping in McPherson Square or Freedom Park in DC. You have until, well, Monday afternoon to remove the tents.

    Comment by US Parks Dept Spokesperson — 1/27/2012 @ 7:28 pm

  63. No fair US Parks Dept. Where are we going to live now?

    Comment by DC Rats — 1/27/2012 @ 7:29 pm

  64. You rats can always go back to the White House or the offices of the DC City Council.

    Comment by US Parks Dept Spokesperson — 1/27/2012 @ 7:30 pm

  65. The bankruptcy is a minor set back, President Obama. Can you slip us another $100 million or so in grants? How about loan guarantees that get paid after Democratic contributors equity investments?

    Comment by President of Ener1 — 1/27/2012 @ 7:43 pm

  66. We won’t stop protesting until Wall Street become lap dogs for the Obama admin.

    Comment by OWS — 1/27/2012 @ 7:48 pm

  67. Come fly with me, let’s fly, let’s fly awaaaaay
    Let’s take this tune up to the Moon
    and let’s colonize away
    Come fly with me, don’t worry how we’ll pay

    And while we’re there we’ll build Jurassic Parrrrk
    –a comfy home where dinos roam
    and we’ll walk them after darrrk
    Come fly with me — what do you mean, “clusterfark?”

    Once I get us up there
    where the air is pumped inside
    We’ll just glide
    starry-eyed
    Once I get us up there there’ll be no going back
    Imagine the stack
    Of bills we’ll run up while we’re together

    Cloning-wise it’s such a perrrrfect daaaaay
    You just show me how and I’ll feed the cow
    to the dino birds of prey
    Come fly with me—now why would you run away?

    Comment by Newt Gingrich channeling Ol' Blue Eyes — 1/27/2012 @ 7:50 pm

  68. How dare you peons want english as the official language you waaaaaaaaaaaacists.

    Comment by OWS — 1/27/2012 @ 8:08 pm

  69. Regolith

    Comment by DIRTY WORDS FROM NEWT #14 — 1/27/2012 @ 8:39 pm

  70. Moonpies

    Comment by Desserts by Newt, page 19 — 1/27/2012 @ 8:43 pm

  71. Green Cheese

    Comment by Hors d'oeuvres by Newt, page 26 — 1/27/2012 @ 8:47 pm

  72. [ ] moonbase [X] moonshine

    Comment by Jed Clampett votes... — 1/27/2012 @ 8:47 pm

  73. Raptor wings in Garlic Buffalo Sauce

    Comment by Appetizers by Newt, page 1 — 1/27/2012 @ 8:48 pm

  74. [ } Sea of Tranquility [X] Moon River

    Comment by Johnny Mercer and Henry Mancini — 1/27/2012 @ 8:50 pm

  75. [ ] moonlight [X] Bud Light

    Comment by Budweiser votes... — 1/27/2012 @ 8:50 pm

  76. I was going to jump over the moon, but the raptors ate me.

    Comment by The Cow — 1/27/2012 @ 8:53 pm

  77. [ ] mooners [X] nooners

    Comment by University of Miami votes... — 1/27/2012 @ 8:54 pm

  78. Goodnight Me.

    Comment by The Moon — 1/27/2012 @ 8:55 pm

  79. [ ] moon shots [X] tequila shots

    Comment by Tijuana votes... — 1/27/2012 @ 8:57 pm

  80. [X] Which is right [X] Which is an Illusion

    Comment by Moody Blues — 1/27/2012 @ 8:59 pm

  81. [X] waxing [ ] waning

    Comment by Harry Moon votes... — 1/27/2012 @ 8:59 pm

  82. [ ] without a dream in my heart [X] without a love of my own

    Comment by Bobby Vinton — 1/27/2012 @ 9:06 pm

  83. [ ] moon shots [X] body shots

    Comment by Tila Tequila votes — 1/27/2012 @ 10:05 pm

  84. [ ] Lunatic Fringe [ ] Paulestinians [ ] Anyone that thinks Newt can win in the general election

    Comment by Reality votes — 1/28/2012 @ 1:20 am

  85. [ ] Dark Side of the Moon [ ] Bark at the Moon [ ] Walking on the Moon [ ] Moonage Daydream

    Comment by PinkOzzyPoliceZiggy — 1/28/2012 @ 1:31 am

  86. The lunatic is in Newt’s head,
    The lunatic is in Newt’s head . . .

    Comment by Roger Waters — 1/28/2012 @ 1:45 am

  87. Wish Warren would shut the f___ up. I had my eye on ANTOHER 2ND home in Arizona, this one not so close to the fairway, with a pool, water feature, gazebo,fire pit, 5 bedrooms, 3 baths, a play room, overlooking the open desert. Sunsets to die for! It looks like something on HGTV. And this stupid bastid is going round saying I don’t make so much is causing banks not to give me a mortgage. SHUT UP!WHy did you decide to make me the big example?

    Who the hell wants to leave Arizona in winter to spend a January night in freezing DC sitting next to a Sasquatch/Wookie hybrid attacking Cheese Doodles all night? It was a cloud of Doodle dust. DOn’t think the drycleaner can get that orange crap off my blouse.

    Comment by Warren Buffet's Secretary — 1/28/2012 @ 5:20 am

  88. Freak out in a moonage daydream, oh yeah.

    Comment by Newtie Stardust — 1/28/2012 @ 6:36 am

  89. You don’t know the power of the dark side

    Comment by Looney Newt — 1/28/2012 @ 9:52 am

  90. 10101100010101011100010111

    Comment by MittBot T-1000 — 1/28/2012 @ 10:11 am

  91. All the folks wonder
    Why do I hate Newt so much?
    Does Romney pay me?

    Comment by Col Haiku — 1/28/2012 @ 10:25 am

  92. Wow we’re criticizing Obama because he is black?

    Eff you liberals.

    If Obama were cleaning up Bush’s mess he would have stopped bailouts for banks.

    Vote Obama and we will be Communist by 2015.

    Comment by Dohbiden — 1/28/2012 @ 10:36 am

  93. Vo Ahead, make my day’

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Budget_of_NASA#Annual_budget.2C_1958-2011

    Comment by werner von braun — 1/28/2012 @ 10:38 am

  94. Just wait until I debate Obama, mano-y-mano! I’m gonna wipe the floor with him, just like I did with John King and Juan Williams.

    What? Yes, I know those guys are not running for president. But did you see me kick their butts? I body-slammed ‘em, baby! Whoo!!!

    Now, if Obama gets all mean and attacky, like Mitt, then I’m gonna have to point that out. Ain’t gonna be no “there you go again” moment with me, honey. I’m going all-in with “why you bein’ so mean, playa?” Whoo!!!

    Comment by Newtonian political physics — 1/28/2012 @ 11:14 am

  95. Keep your ‘lectric eye on me babe
    Put your way-gun to my head
    Pwess your space face close to mine, love

    Fweak out in a moonage daydream oh yeah!

    Comment by Lady Bawney Fwank Stardust — 1/28/2012 @ 11:19 am

  96. What are y’all freaking out about? My advisors told me I needed to “press the flesh” with the sheeple!

    Ya know what? This is all getting too complicated. I’m just gonna take my pension check and go back to work.

    Comment by And on this farm he HAD a ewe, EE-I-EE-I-O — 1/28/2012 @ 12:11 pm

  97. Just to sum up, he wasn’t focusing on NASA.

    http://www.space.com/14363-newt-gingrich-space-moon-colony-mars.html

    Comment by chesley bonesteel — 1/28/2012 @ 5:47 pm

  98. “In German und in English
    I’ve learned how to count down…
    Und I’m learning Chinese,
    Says Wernher Von Braun.”

    Comment by Tom Lehrer — 1/28/2012 @ 6:54 pm

  99. I think it could have been a Big Effing Deal!

    Y’know, thinking back on it, it might have been a Big Effing Tower. Was I in Paris? I forget where I am some times.

    …What was I saying? Oh, yeah, Paris. That’s in Texas, right? Rick Perry is the governor, there, as I recall. Wait, no, he’s the lead singer from Journey.

    Ok, wait. I’m confused. Why is the lead singer from Journey a presidential candidate again?

    Comment by J Biden, Esq, — 1/29/2012 @ 12:50 am

  100. G.O.P. was having trouble
    What a sad, sad story
    Needed a new leader
    To restore its former glory
    Where, oh where was he?
    Where could that man be?
    We looked around
    And then we found
    The man for you and me
    And now it’s…

    Springtime for Gingrich and G.O.P.
    Maddow is giddy and gay
    Reagan them in a frantic pace
    Look out,
    A Romney-Newt debate

    Springtime for Gingrich and Tiffany’s
    Winter for Cartier’s in France
    Springtime for Gingrich and Tiffany’s
    Come on, Newties
    Go into your dance

    I was named New-ton Le-roy
    And liked the zoo as a small boy

    Everyone says I’m a moon-ie
    Just because my plans sound loony

    Don’t be stupid, be a smarty
    Come and join my NewTzie Party

    Springtime for Gingrich and G.O.P.
    Florida’s gone kosher today
    Bomb throwing is my style and then,
    Reagan is on the rise again

    Springtime for Gingrich and G.O.P.
    Iran’s gone shopping once more
    Springtime for Gingrich and G.O.P.
    Means soon we’ll be going
    We’ve got to be going
    You know we’ll be going to war

    Comment by Mel Brooks — 1/30/2012 @ 6:15 pm

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