Patterico's Pontifications

1/13/2012

Sockpuppet Friday (Romney Fan Edition)

Filed under: General — Karl @ 6:06 am



[Posted by Karl]

As usual, you are positively encouraged to engage in sockpuppetry in this thread. The usual rules apply.

Please, be sure to switch back to your regular handle when commenting on other threads. I have made that mistake myself.

And remember: the worst sin you can commit on this thread is not being funny.

BuzzFeedPolitics presents “Mitt Romney’s 30 Biggest Fans.”  But I don’t see Jennifer Rubin or Jonathan S. Tobin, so I’m calling BS.

–Karl

54 Responses to “Sockpuppet Friday (Romney Fan Edition)”

  1. Ding!

    Karl (5a613f)

  2. Any list of Romney fanbois that does not include Jen Rubin and Colonel Haiku is woefully lacking.

    JD (318f81)

  3. Where did I write that I was going to start “stop posting mode” again?

    JD (b486eb)

  4. Growin’ up
    Gotta keep your eye on the ball

    Make it fly,

    Give it everything, give your all

    But maybe sometimes if you feel the pain
    You’ll find you’re all alone
    Everything has changed

    Play the game
    You know you can’t quit until it’s won
    Soldier on
    Only you can do what must be done

    You know I’m out there

    Down on one knee
    a prisoner
    And I’m tryin’ to break free

    CHORUS:

    I can see a new horizon
    Underneath the blazin’ sky
    I’ll be where the eagle’s
    Flyin’ higher and higher

    Gonna be a man in motion

    All I needs my Broncos team
    Take me where my future’s lyin’
    Tim Tebows Fire

    Oooh…

    Burnin’ up
    Don’t know just how far that I can go
    (Just how far I go)
    Soon be home
    Only just 4 downs to go
    I can make it
    I know I can
    You broke the boy in me
    But you won’t break the man

    (CHORUS)

    I can see a new horizon
    blazin on the Mile High
    I’ll be where the eagle’s
    Flyin’ higher and higher

    Gonna be your man in motion

    All I needs my Broncos team
    Take me where my future’s lyin’
    Tim Tebows Fire

    I can climb the highest mountain
    These Broncos cant be beat
    I can feel St Elmo’s Fire burnin’ in me
    Burnin’ in me

    Just once in his life
    A man has his time
    And my time is now
    And I’m comin’ alive

    I can hear the music playin’
    I can see the banners fly
    Feel like a man again

    I’ll hold my head high
    Gonna be a man in motion
    These broncos can’t be beat
    Take me where my future’s lyin’
    Tim Tebow’s fire

    (CHORUS)

    I can climb the highest mountain
    Cross the wildest sea
    I can feel St. Elmo’s Fire burnin’ in me

    Burnin’
    Burnin’ in me
    I can feel it burnin’
    Oooh, burnin’ inside of me

    John Parr (direct from the 80s time machine) (325a59)

  5. you keep saying that you’ll stop beating me, but you don’t. sniff….sniffle… you won’t change… you never will… sniff… sniffle… I’m taking the kids and going to my mother’s house… don’t try to find me, cuz you won’t… find me at my mother’s house.

    JD (b486eb)

  6. Did someone say “time machine?”

    Alan Parsons Project (direct from the 90s time machine) (325a59)

  7. You can’t spell “revolution” without “love.”

    Or “violent.”
    Or “loonier.”
    or “inert.”
    or “liver.”
    or “vile.”

    or…..

    OWSer (English major, of course) (325a59)

  8. I finally got my smuggled PS3 after waiting for years, so I spent the mourning period playing games.

    Boy am I sorry now.

    random North Korean, hey at least I'm crying NOW (325a59)

  9. Re: post #2… thanks, JD. I’m proud to be a Romney supporter and hope that Newt or one of the Ricks works out for you.

    ABO!

    Colonel Haiku (b486eb)

  10. It’s sickening these attacks on Capitalism!

    When you need a real Republican leader to attack Capitalism you need that attack to be Harvard grade material-

    RomneyCare!

    MItt Romney (89a442)

  11. Wait…my gimlet must have been spiked with Red Bull-ignore my last comment.

    MItt Romney (89a442)

  12. I’ll have all those third parties know, I am not an angry black woman. Well, maybe black, but definitely not angry. Well, most of the time anyway.

    Michelle Obama, FLOTUS (8aabf0)

  13. Who knew I had a twin. The resemblence is remarkable.

    the ghost of Aunt Esther (8aabf0)

  14. The good thing about Mitt:
    He could flop back.

    Flipper (44de53)

  15. I did better in school than any president in the last 40 years.

    So, you’re actually asking me why did I spend over a million dollars in legal fees making sure no one would ever see my grades?

    Because you’re a racist. That’s why.

    President Barack H. Obama, Healer of Planets and Suppressor of Tides, I mean Transcripts (325a59)

  16. Well, I’m certainly a fan of Mitt Romney! I mean, I have to oppose him for partisan reasons, but for a Republican, Democrats could certainly find him acceptable.

    And those rugged good looks he has, well, yeah, he’s OK!

    The Honorable Barney Frank, Member of Congress (3e4784)

  17. Well, I’d certainly prefer him to that apostate Muslim y’all have as President now. He says that he won’t let us build nukes, but we know that he’ll cave.

    The Ayatollah Ali Khameini (3e4784)

  18. Of course, I kept my grades confidential, because I didn’t want to discourage all of the students who got worse grades than I did.

    I mean, without getting too specific, I did have a 4.67 grade point average on a 4.0 scale.

    The Honorable Barack Hussein Obama, President of the United States (3e4784)

  19. Mitt Romney? Yeah, I’m a fan. I’d do him, I’d so do him!

    Andrew Sullivan (3e4784)

  20. And if he’ll just pick Michele Bachmann for his running mate, maybe I can look into her uterus, too!

    Figuratively speaking, of course; I don’t want to do that for real. Ick.

    Andrew Sullivan (3e4784)

  21. “WE are NOT an angry black woman and WE are NOT amused.”

    HRH Michelle Obama (7051ab)

  22. Mr. President, any chance we can play golf ?

    Mr. Issa (44de53)

  23. I want it known that I had nothing to do with the firing resignation of that dumbass cracker nice man.

    It'sMichelle,BITCH! (c9a8df)

  24. No, Govermor Rick! I’m just a sock puppet. You can’t play “stud in the pen” with me!

    Lamb Chop (c9a8df)

  25. Okay already! I’ve had those vile, disgusting ads pulled off the air.

    No harm, no foul. Right?

    Leroy (is ANYONE surprised that's his real name?) Gingrich (c9a8df)

  26. Newt is a liar.
    Perry is a fool.
    Romney is God.

    Colonel Haiku (563f77)

  27. I don’t know what all this is about Barack Obama’s transcripts; we’ve looked at them and they’re just fine. We’d release them, but our office first requires a valid birth certificate to complete our records.

    Harvard Law School registrar (563f77)

  28. Romney, Newt, Barack, Perry, even Bush again, it doesn’t matter, i>I am the Great Successor, and I can bitch-slap them all

    Kim Jong-un (3e4784)

  29. Just ignore what James O’Keefe and his criminal friends did in New Hampshire this past Tuesday at the Democrat and Republican presidential primaries. The ease with which they obtained ballots or chits to get ballots in both primaries proves absolutely nothing about the ability to commit voting fraud in this country nor do the numerous convictions for voter fraud which we keep ignoring.

    The important thing to remember is that James O’Keefe is a convicted felon who tried to wire tap the phones of Senator Mary Landrieu in New Orleans and did not dress as a pimp inside ACORN offices while making videos of damaging conduct by ACORN employees. That is all you really have to know about James O’Keefe.

    Just ignore the videos from Tuesday showing how easy it is for dead people vote and focus on the fact that James O’Keefe is a convicted felon and non-pimp dresser.

    Any efforts to support voter I.D. laws in this country are just obvious Republic sponsored efforts to suppress the minority and poor vote even though I cannot show you any evidence to support that assertion. Just trust me on this. I would not feed you any knowing misinformation, nor would my partner, convicted perjurer, drug smuggler, and bomber, Krett Bimberlin.

    Requiring a picture I.D. to attend a speech by Attorney General Eric Holder is in no way analogous to voting or a union election requiring picture I.D.

    Frad Briedman (bf33e9)

  30. I must seriously protest this blatant favoritism towards the guy that brings nothing to the table!

    Perry, Perry, he’s my man,
    If he can’t do it, no . . . one . . . [crap!]

    *clears throat*

    Newt, Newt, he’s my man,
    If he can’t do it, no . . . one . . . [dammit!]

    *sheepish grin, copied from former favorite candidate*

    Mitt, Mitt, he’s your man,
    But my guys SUCK, so Mitt’s the plan!

    [Milhouse, did you find that crowbar yet? It’s dark and scary in here!]

    Fair Weather Fanboi (c9a8df)

  31. Pissin in the wind or pissin on them.
    I’m choosing them.

    John Prine (44de53)

  32. After an indepth analysis of the Constitution, I have determined that the President can recess appoint anyone he wants at any time. Senate approval is a mere formality anyway.

    Eric Holder (a1fcca)

  33. Teachers who make more than $250,000 should pay a 15% tax.

    Dohbiden (ef98f0)

  34. And with the way the economy is going the unions will be paid in worthless paper.

    Dohbiden (ef98f0)

  35. Keep pissin boys.

    Daniel Pearl (44de53)

  36. Yes, I know, we sent you guys out to kill these Taliban terrorists, and you did a fine job of that; it isn’t a problem if you put a bullet in their pumpkin heads.

    But pissing on them? You men are going to face charges for that!

    Leon Panetta (f68855)

  37. anybody gots a maxipad?

    JayD (b486eb)

  38. The insane in the membrane clown posse over at Illegal Indiscretion have gone full gulrud. Ants on a log, hold the crunchy conservativos, menu be damned. Mooseberries dingledangle, cat scratch fever and hold the white bread between your knees.

    You know who this helps. Huh?

    garypullpud (b486eb)

  39. Sockpuppet threads: a great way for losers to trash people they aren’t man enough to stand up to under their normal name. A great way for Patterico’s good faith commenters to be insulted over and over by people who know they won’t be associated with what they say, and thus act a whole lot worse.

    Is it any wonder 99% of such BS comes from fans of one particular candidate?

    Your mother is actually quite overweight (cb3719)

  40. http://youtu.be/OW1X35PTmUE

    Dustin Timberpoof (b486eb)

  41. Psssssst! “More Man” loves Blue Star.

    The Tipster (9d1bb3)

  42. I deleted one of those “Romney supporters suck!” “Perry supporters suck!” comments early on.

    But I, you know, WORK all day and can’t monitor this thread all day.

    Maybe I should just kill this tradition, since it’s getting ruined with that crap anyway, and nobody seems to care when I ask that it not occur.

    Patterico (d508e7)

  43. stone a woman here, stone a woman there, no problem.

    Leon Panetta (44de53)

  44. If the republicans need a crook, I am available.

    Sandy Burgler (44de53)

  45. It’s as if mother nature is playing a cruel joke on the promoters of man made gore-bull warming… The spectacle of world leaders claiming they can control the earths thermostat is akin to medieval witchcraft.

    Samantha Stevens (44de53)

  46. Maybe I should just kill this tradition

    See what you get for breaking the fourth wall AND not being funny about it!

    U No Hu U R (a0e63a)

  47. Maybe I should just kill this tradition, since it’s getting ruined with that crap anyway, and nobody seems to care when I ask that it not occur.

    Comment by Patterico — 1/13/2012 @ 9:26 pm

    *primal scream* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

    Who’s going to pay attention to US? Nothing makes a workweek end better than getting lotsa attention from the sockpuppet brigade!

    Stupid famous people everywhere, who you have to admit add a quite a lot of teh funneh to the site (577ce5)

  48. Let’s test the way you think:

    Thepenisinhermouth.

    Did you read ‘the pen is in her mouth’?

    Nah… me neither.

    Ron Jeremy (b486eb)

  49. Our esteemed host wrote:

    Maybe I should just kill this tradition, since it’s getting ruined with that crap anyway, and nobody seems to care when I ask that it not occur.

    We would be displeased.

    The Dana who is not sock-puppeting right now (f68855)

  50. Patterico:
    Please don’t kill sockpuppet Friday. It is one of the rare places where I can call out the evils and not have a direct trace. ^..^(____)~~~

    The not sock puppet Cheshirecat (a1fcca)

  51. Son of a gov… son of a gov…

    You walked into the rally,
    Like you were walking onto your yacht;
    Your hair strategically combed far to the right,
    Your tie it was apricot;
    You had one eye on the prompter as,
    You tallied votes that you sought;
    And all of the Govs dreamed that they’d be your partner;
    They’d be your partner, and…

    You’re so Bain;
    You probably think this song is about you;
    You’re so Bain;
    I’ll bet you think this song is about you,
    Don’t you? don’t you?

    You wrecked us several years ago,
    When we didn’t see all of your greed;
    Well you said that we made such a pretty pair,
    And our partner-ship would always be;
    But you sold off all the parts you loved,
    And fired folks with glee;
    I had some dreams,
    They were wrecked by your chopping,
    Wrecked by your chopping, and…

    You’re so Bain;
    You probably think this song is about you;
    You’re so Bain;
    I’ll bet you think this song is about you;
    Don’t you? Don’t you? Don’t you?

    Well I hear you drove up to Saratoga,
    To stay in house twenty one;
    Strapped your pooch down to,
    The top of your car;
    Roof riding for pets can be glum;

    Then you ordered pizza,
    And pulled off all the cheese,
    Vulture capitalists are hungry for fun;

    Well you’re where you should be all the time,
    in NC, or Florida or with;
    Some KFC cook ripping skin off the chicken,
    Skin off the chicken and…

    You’re so strange;
    You probably think this song is about you,
    You’re so strange;
    I’ll bet you think this song is about you,
    Don’t you? Don’t you? Don’t you?

    Carly Simon Sings A Mittfull (9d1bb3)

  52. I spent a lifetime lookin’ for you
    Single bars and good time voters were never true
    Playing a fools game, hopin’ to win
    Tellin’ those sweet lies and losin’ again.

    Chorus

    I was lookin’ for votes in all the wrong places
    Lookin’ for votes in too many places
    Searchin’ her eyes, lookin’ for traces
    Of what I’m dreamin’ of
    Hoping to find a friend and a voter
    I’ll bless the day I discover,
    You – lookin’ for votes.

    I was alone then, no votes in sight
    I did every thing I could to get me through the night
    Don”t know where it started or where it might end
    I’d turn to a stranger just like a friend.

    Suburban Paint Creek Cowboy (bf33e9)

  53. In Romney’s Bain there are investors showing photographs,
    Of every head that’s on the block that has to go;
    The parts are worth more than the whole,
    All we need to know

    On the corner is our Banker with his motorcar,
    The dog upon its top is staining it with crap;
    So the Banker washes his roof rack,
    In the pouring rain,
    Very strange

    Romney’s Bain is in my ears and in my eyes
    Broadcast through the clear suburban skies
    I sit and meanwhile back

    In Romney’s Bain there is a rich man in The Quiet Room,
    And in his pocket is a check to fund the scene;
    He likes envy to intervene,
    It’s a political machine

    Romney’s Bain is in my ears and in my eyes
    Broadcast through the clear suburban skies
    I sit and meanwhile back

    In the shelter in the middle of a roundabout,
    A hungry family is eating popcorn from a tray;
    It’s their hot meal of the day,
    Vultures crow and say,
    It’s the capitalist way

    In Romney’s Bain, investors wreck another customer
    We see the preening Banker waiting for his skim;
    As the cash keeps flooding in,
    In the pouring rain
    Very strange

    Romney’s Bain is in my ears and in my eyes
    Broadcast through the clear suburban skies
    I sit and meanwhile back

    Romney’s Bain is in my ears and in my eyes
    Broadcast through the clear suburban skies

    Romney’s Bain

    The Beatles Sing Romney's Bain (9d1bb3)

  54. The Huntsman, he will go;
    And Perry’s next, you know;
    High-Ho, it’s Romney’s so;
    Conservatives are low.

    The Farmer On A Dell (9d1bb3)


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