Sockpuppet Friday (Campus Edition)
[Posted by Karl]
As usual, you are positively encouraged to engage in sockpuppetry in this thread. The usual rules apply.
Please, be sure to switch back to your regular handle when commenting on other threads. I have made that mistake myself.
And remember: the worst sin you can commit on this thread is not being funny.
—
On college campuses yesterday, students booed Rick Santorum and laughed at Barack Obama. No word on Mitt Romney, but it would have been a good day for him to tell the story about tying the family dog to the top of his car.
–Karl
Dear Aaron’s lawyer,
I don’t want this email I am sending to you to be communicated to your client. He will post it on the internet and make fun of me.
You know seriously, I didn’t want this fight. All I did was file an abusive subpoena based on an injunction obtained by lying my @$$ off in court in an effort to out him so that islamofascist terrorists would have his home address. Why does he have to be so mean to me? What did I do to deserve his mockery?
Comment by The Speedway Bomber — 1/6/2012 @ 6:33 am
Obama inspires me too.
Comment by Previously sit-on-his-butt Republican voter, heading over to local RNC headquarters — 1/6/2012 @ 6:33 am
None of the three above-mentioned individuals deserves to be President of the United States. One of them even detests the Constitution and violates his oath to protect and defend it on almost a daily basis. He also seeks to put the Army and Marines in the position they were in in the 1930s.
There, how’s that for funny.
Comment by Fred Beloit — 1/6/2012 @ 6:33 am
You tell him Speedway.
Comment by khalid bin mahfouz — 1/6/2012 @ 6:37 am
Ummmmmyeah, Mr. President, we know we inspire you. To do what, we know also.
Comment by College students who know the cost of a Hawaii vacation and can count golf games — 1/6/2012 @ 6:37 am
We’re the first choice of First Lady Michelle Obama. *insert picture, toned arms on beach* Why, she visits nearly every day. *cue cute jingle* Trav-el-o-ci-ty….Dot Com!
Comment by Travelocity.com's latest ad — 1/6/2012 @ 6:40 am
AUDITT!!!!!!!
Comment by First Lady Michelle Obama — 1/6/2012 @ 6:41 am
[ ]read speech from prompter as written [X] pause for dramatic effect and get laughed at instead
Comment by President Barack H. Obama, Healer of Planets and Suppressor of Tides, in a narcissistic rage back in the West Wing — 1/6/2012 @ 6:59 am
Eugene, you’d better watch your back. Just a warning.
Comment by Karma — 1/6/2012 @ 8:08 am
Great news, readers in America!
We’ve just signed Alan Colmes and Eugene Robinson to co-author a special edition of “Dead Baby Jokes”!
Publication date is set for this November.
Comment by (Really) Random House — 1/6/2012 @ 8:10 am
In unrelated news, the graduating class of Shaker Heights High School was notified that their college financial aid applications had been accidentally posted to the internet.
Comment by Morning Joe — 1/6/2012 @ 8:24 am
Glenn Greenwald and Mick Foley were unavailable for comment.
Comment by Mr. Sock — 1/6/2012 @ 8:25 am
You kids leave my man alone!
Comment by The Girl Voted Most Likely to be Called Her Excellency — 1/6/2012 @ 8:47 am
This just in: President Obama has again exercised his recess appointment power, placing Lani Guinier and Erwin Chemerinsky on the Supreme Court as the 10th and 11th justices. The President was quoted as saying “White House Counsel unanimously agreed that nothing in the Constitution said that I couldn’t.”
Senate Majority Leader Harry “Thin” Reid applauded the move, saying that Supreme Court obstruction was threatening Recovery, Senate Republicans had been intransigent about adding additional seats to the Court, and that “this had been due for a long time!”
Comment by Morning Joe — 1/6/2012 @ 9:06 am
Chief Justice Roberts hearing the news at lunch, was overheard muttering something like “I’ve got your ‘not justiciable’ right here!”
Comment by Morning Joe — 1/6/2012 @ 9:10 am
Prison-rape jokes are NOT funny!
Comment by Silky "Ride Me Bareback" Pony — 1/6/2012 @ 9:48 am
Going for that Fear-Mongering Pulitzer . . .
Bookends, baby!
Comment by Eugene — 1/6/2012 @ 9:56 am
Exactly those prison jokes lead to gorebull warming.
Comment by Dohbiden — 1/6/2012 @ 10:00 am
the Polar Bears population is rising so fast they’ll go extinct……………that comment is the lolz.
Comment by Dohbiden — 1/6/2012 @ 10:01 am
Hey Milhouse, thanks for repeating my lie that the Santorum’s “played with” their dead baby. We’re going viral on those kooky Catholics!
Comment by Colmes — 1/6/2012 @ 10:03 am
I will NOT become a “prison bride”!
Comment by The Breck Girl — 1/6/2012 @ 10:08 am
I did not bring up Santorum’s religion — you did!
Comment by The guy that brought up Santorum's religion in the VERY FIRST COMMENT AFTER KARL'S *ding* — 1/6/2012 @ 10:12 am
Breaking News, January 2112:
First Trillion of Obama’s debt finally paid off!
Experts find final tattered pieces of US Constitution
Dear BaREX:
We’re not laughing.
Comment by Shaker Heights High Schoolers great great grandchildren — 1/6/2012 @ 10:15 am
Comment by Dustin — 1/6/2012 @ 10:25 am
That was in reference to the above comment.
Guys, it’s the internet. Get a grip, and if you can’t handle arguing with Milhouse, don’t. It was a really interesting discussion aside from the idiotic ‘I’m sooooo offended at the drop of a freaking hat’ garbage.
Comment by Dustin — 1/6/2012 @ 10:27 am
“Good Lord the comment police douches need to get a life.”
Good advice.
Comment by daleyrocks — 1/6/2012 @ 10:36 am
Comment by Icy — 1/6/2012 @ 10:38 am
Comment by Dustin — 1/6/2012 @ 10:27 am
See: Blowing off Steam
filed under: Sockpuppet Thread – Purpose
Sockpuppets already have a grip. By definition.
Comment by The Sockpuppet Horde — 1/6/2012 @ 10:39 am
I don’t think so. Patterico actually noted he doesn’t see this as meant to denigrate other commenters.
You’re just showing how you act when you think you can get away with it. Like the coward who smeared me with this crap about denigrating mormons as polytheists, which I never did.
Frankly, you shouldn’t be so angry about Milhouse’s argument that you need to “Blow off steam” over it. And you already trashed the guy in that thread (and lost the argument).
Instead of running around waving your arms in the air screaming ‘I’m offended I’m offended’, even after the guy explains ‘I didn’t even say what you’re interpreting’, maybe you need to chill out?
Anyway, it’s unfortunate to see a few guys constantly denigrating other commenters instead of actually arguing their points. Nobody is perfect, least of all me, but it’s not that hard to let it go when clearly most folks would rather criticize public figures and lampoon that sort of thing.
Comment by Dustin — 1/6/2012 @ 10:50 am
I’ve never been more proud of President Obama, now that he has realized the importance of following my policies for a smaller, less offensive, military.
Now, the country will be able to concentrate even more energy and resources on ensuring that even those who haven’t been able to afford home ownership realize their dream.
Rosalynn approves, too.
Comment by Jimmah — 1/6/2012 @ 10:54 am
I’ve requested a delay in my case due to a serious medical condition . . .
I’m allergic to anal probes.
Comment by Rich White Trash — 1/6/2012 @ 10:56 am
Comment by Dustin — 1/6/2012 @ 10:50 am
Uhhhh…there’s a difference between denigrating a commenter and making a statement about a comment. Anybody see anyone calling Milhouse stupid on this thread? An a**hole? Hmmm let me think. No. And…if someone does go over the line we have a moderator. His name is Patterico, and his judgment calls stand.
BTW, I didn’t make the above comment, dude. And I generally don’t sockpuppet about other commenters. And FTR I argued for civility a few weeks ago.
But…Just protecting the free speech that is Sockpuppet Friday. You’re welcome.
Comment by The Marauding Sockpuppet Horde (now with bonus testosterone) — 1/6/2012 @ 10:59 am
I wish all this baby talk would just go away. Further, I did not have sex with that woman, Rielle.
Comment by John Edwards-frmr Pres. candidate — 1/6/2012 @ 11:01 am
I’m not worried about mommy moderator. I think if you’ve got a problem with someone’s argument, just tell them you think it’s BS.
And if that person notes they didn’t mean what you’ve interpreted out of their comment, just accept that. It’s no big deal, and move on. Let people own their own arguments.
Derp.
Comment by Dustin — 1/6/2012 @ 11:03 am
I’m not worried about mommy moderator.
Allow me to clarify. The moderator’s name is Patterico. Not Dustin. All due respect.
Comment by The Marauding Sockpuppet Horde (now with bonus testosterone) — 1/6/2012 @ 11:06 am
And it’s really lame to try to rekindle these arguments several days later. The ‘I’m so offended’ crap was UGLY and it didn’t contribute anything interesting. It was stupid and now you’re trying to relive it in a new thread.
I wouldn’t bring it up except you few seem to making a habit out of it and it’s really driving off a lot of the best commenters.
You aren’t free from my criticism of your speech. That is not what freedom of speech means.
Again, get a damn life. Lampoon Obama or Rick Perry or something.
Comment by Dustin — 1/6/2012 @ 11:07 am
Would that one could catch fish with such irresistible bait.
Comment by Fishing For Someone's Sense of Humor -- and coming up dry — 1/6/2012 @ 11:11 am
Although this is not at all about religion, the Santorums treated dead Gabriel just like the relic of a dead Medieval Catholic Saint, except that they did not bury him in their basement or walls, dismember him and carry around his bone fragments in their pockets, or claim he was the source of miracles such as curing leprosy or blindness. Other than that, they treated him just like the relic of a Medieval Catholic Saint. How disrespectful and weird, but this is not about religion.
Comment by Chauvinistic Jewish Commenter — 1/6/2012 @ 11:12 am
OMG OMG Dustin is saying Mormons are polytheists!!!! Let me pretend he is a bigot and then suggest to everyone I’m super offended he said that!
How dare you dustin!!!! How Dare You!!!!!!
Oh, what’s that? He says he never said anything like that, and I’m a coward for making that up, and I should try debating him on the merits of his arguments instead?
Loser! I’m still offended. It’s the seriousness of the charges I made up!
Now let me sockpuppet milhouse some! Not to blow off steam, but to troll and confuse people about who is saying what!
Because I do not value personal character. I am a sh*tty person. I take politics so seriously I will readily lie and then laugh it off as blowing off steam.
Did I mention I think you’re gay if you disagree with me?
Comment by Al Sharpton Jr — 1/6/2012 @ 11:14 am
One of my (supposedly) strongest supporters throws me under the bus for Gingrich, and now he has traitor’s remorse?
Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!
Comment by Rick Perry — 1/6/2012 @ 11:16 am
It’s really lame to whine about comments in a sockpuppet thread. Time to go eat worms.
Comment by Whiny Boy — 1/6/2012 @ 11:16 am
please, people… can’t we all just get along?
Comment by Rodney King — 1/6/2012 @ 11:17 am
Did someone say “denigration of other commenters”? ^^^ This is what it looks like.
And by the way, Dustin, you suck at pretending you’re me.
Comment by Al Sharpton, Jr (just to add to the confusion) — 1/6/2012 @ 11:18 am
The grip comment was clever. Otherwise, just nastily mocking a caricature of someone’s argument is not funny. It’s just pathetic aggression.
It’s interesting how, to some, a sense of humor is not measured by how funny someone else is, but by how funny people find someone who has some insecurities.
But isn’t that why you’d be licking your wounds in the sockpuppet thread over a really petty fight you started and lost?
Comment by Dustin — 1/6/2012 @ 11:18 am
It’s good to know I’m not the only one that throws friends under the bus.
Comment by Obama — 1/6/2012 @ 11:20 am
And it’s really lame to try to rekindle these arguments several days later
OMG OMG Dustin is saying Mormons are polytheists!!!! Let me pretend he is a bigot and then suggest to everyone I’m super offended he said that!
How dare you dustin!!!! How Dare You!!!!!!
hahahahahaha
Comment by Juxtaposition - it's not just for breakfast anymore — 1/6/2012 @ 11:20 am
That’s because I don’t have any interest in deceiving people.
And yeah, I do criticize the kind of coward who would smear someone with bigotry claims, whine about how offended they are, and then admit they made it all up because it’s the sockpuppet thread and that’s what they think it’s for.
Sorry if you found that denigrating, but I never said who fit that bill. If you think I was denigrating you, then I guess you don’t have a very high opinion of your own conduct.
Comment by Dustin — 1/6/2012 @ 11:21 am
I really miss being lectured at with the polysyllabic profundity of SEK. At least then you could point and laugh at his buffoonery. Now……….
How low this blog has fallen.
Comment by Sockpuppet Douche — 1/6/2012 @ 11:22 am
The grip comment was clever. Otherwise, just nastily mocking a caricature of someone’s argument is not funny. It’s just pathetic aggression.
You do realize there are at least two or three commenters making comments about this, no?
Comment by Juxtaposition - it's not just for breakfast anymore — 1/6/2012 @ 11:22 am
And it’s really lame to try to rekindle these arguments several days later
Holy smokes, now I’m seeing somebody rekindle an argument from a month ago. Isn’t that even lamer?
Comment by Sockpuppet Douche — 1/6/2012 @ 11:25 am
But there was a major difference in seriousness.
All Milhouse did was talk about a current political issue. He thinks trashing the Santorum family is wrong, and yet he doesn’t agree with their tradition. He personally would do X, and yet he notes the Santorums had their own way of respecting their loss. Finding bigotry in that was ugly and unhelpful.
What I’m complaining about is much more worthy of complaining about. Someone tried to smear me as a bigot. They admitted they were lying. They probably also denied even making the comments they left. Yeah, I really find that annoying.
I have no problem with Mormonism. I do not know or care if it’s polytheist. It’s not something I’ve bothered to argue about. My criticism of Romney is not because he’s Mormon. The Romney fanatic who did that deserves to be criticized weeks later for playing that card.
Comment by Dustin — 1/6/2012 @ 11:25 am
You do realize there are at least two or three commenters making comments about this, no?
Fight The Machine!
Comment by Sockpuppet Douche — 1/6/2012 @ 11:26 am
I do not find your insecurities funny at all.
And that’s the point.
Comment by In all seriousness — 1/6/2012 @ 11:28 am
This is really getting pathetic. Let’s all bury the hatchet… IN. THE. GROUND.
We’ve important work ahead of us.
Comment by Colonel Haiku — 1/6/2012 @ 11:28 am
Of course. There are three Romney fanatics. Colonel Haiku, daleyrocks, and Icy.
And it seems at least one of them just plain drops any pretense of honesty to “blow off steam” in the sockpuppet thread. They show what’s in their heart when they do that.
Comment by Dustin — 1/6/2012 @ 11:29 am
btw, I realize it’s not Daleyrocks. Just want to make that clear. I think he’s a good guy, and he’s upfront even if he gets too bent out of shape.
Comment by Dustin — 1/6/2012 @ 11:30 am
I really miss being lectured at with the polysyllabic profundity of SEK. At least then you could point and laugh at his buffoonery. Now……….
– Ah, the good old days. I, too, miss SEK.
Comment by Memories . . . — 1/6/2012 @ 11:32 am
It really is a shame. Great commenters like nk and DRJ seem to get run off by douchebags.
People want to trash the people they disagree with instead of having arguments.
Comment by Dustin — 1/6/2012 @ 11:32 am
But there was a major difference in seriousness.
Correct, and that is our (at least two or three people, remember) point.
The noodging (to use a Jewish term) was about Milhouse’s claim that he didn’t bring up religion in the thread, not the larger substance of this comment. No one brought up the older Mormon argument except you. That is why you see no one on this thread (except you) calling people names: because people are listening to what Patterico said a few weeks ago.
Do I need to remind you that I’m not even the one who left the sockpuppet comment you’re objecting to? Difference in seriousness indeed.
Comment by The Marauding Sockpuppet Horde (now with bonus testosterone) — 1/6/2012 @ 11:33 am
Of course. There are three Romney fanatics. Colonel Haiku, daleyrocks, and Icy.
Hmmm…isn’t calling someone a fanatic denigrating them?
Anyway, if true, that would make at least FOUR of us. I’m not any of those three.
Comment by The Marauding Sockpuppet Horde (now with bonus testosterone) — 1/6/2012 @ 11:35 am
Irony… where is thy sting?
Comment by Colonel Haiku — 1/6/2012 @ 11:36 am
OK… but that was hashed out and he didn’t intend that. He explained that wasn’t what he meant. But here’s a thread he’s less likely to even realize he’s been attacked over that so he’s less likely to note, again, that this is an interpretation of his comment he doesn’t even agree with.
I didn’t mean to re-litigate that anyway. It was meant merely as an example of the kind of crap that is making this blog less enjoyable. I don’t think the solution is better moderation when we’re all adults and can chill out.
Comment by Dustin — 1/6/2012 @ 11:37 am
Touche’
My apologies. Defender was a much better term, particularly in Icy’s case.
Comment by Dustin — 1/6/2012 @ 11:38 am
Well, congratulations.
Comment by Dustin — 1/6/2012 @ 11:40 am
IRONY… it’s what’s for brunch.
Comment by Colonel Haiku — 1/6/2012 @ 11:41 am
Some folks take this grudge thing a little too far… just my opinion.
Comment by Colonel Haiku — 1/6/2012 @ 11:43 am
Racists
Comment by JD — 1/6/2012 @ 11:46 am
lol… now that was funny, JD.
Comment by Colonel Haiku — 1/6/2012 @ 11:48 am
Say, can you help a fellow American down on his luck?
Comment by Fred C. Dobbs — 1/6/2012 @ 11:50 am
You’re no fun.
Comment by Colonel Mustard — 1/6/2012 @ 11:54 am
I’ve had him on ignore, so I didn’t realize Haiku said that he wanted to ‘bury the hatchet’.
Haiku, I appreciate the offer and see no reason to have a dispute. Frankly, I haven’t been intending to have a dispute for a long time now. Ever since DRJ said this fighting was driving people away I’ve stopped replying to you guys for the most part (I’m sure this is noticeable).
Comment by Dustin — 1/6/2012 @ 12:08 pm
I’m going to call people whores and use the word “what” instead of “that” and end my sentences with “I think.” That’s my clever schtick I do. I know it’s tiresome, boring, and completely unfunny, but I just KNOW that I’m SO clever and edgy and provocative when I do that along with making up stupid nicknames for politicians and making stupid pop culture references I think.
Comment by crappyfeet — 1/6/2012 @ 12:16 pm
Now that is a comment what goes a little too far I think
Mr. DohBiden I’m looking at you
Comment by the meta happyfeet — 1/6/2012 @ 12:25 pm
I think you’re generally hilarious, happyfeet, but I’ve already shot my wad here.
Comment by Dustin — 1/6/2012 @ 12:28 pm
Mr. Dustin is a fine person but one what needs to pay just a tiny bit more attention I think
as my handle should make super clear I’m a just a hologram pikachu today
cupcakes are calling brb
Comment by the meta happyfeet — 1/6/2012 @ 12:30 pm
[tosses quarter]
Hit the road.
Comment by Bugs Bunny — 1/6/2012 @ 12:31 pm
I think we should praise those rare moments of lucidity
Comment by Adrift on a frozen ocean — 1/6/2012 @ 12:33 pm
oh I er… I’m not dustin either! hahaha
Comment by Dustin — 1/6/2012 @ 12:34 pm
Play nicely now, boys and girls. If you can’t get along, then take your toys and go home.
Comment by Sockpuppet's Mama — 1/6/2012 @ 12:35 pm
Fanatic.
Comment by Dustin — 1/6/2012 @ 12:35 pm
At last, someone has figured out how special I am.
Comment by Empress Meechelle — 1/6/2012 @ 12:37 pm
You know what this thread is missing? Some good slams on me and my incredibly thin-skinned supporters.
Virginia? Boy, I really f*cked the armadillo getting on the ballot there. Could not find enough people in the whole state to help me get signatures let alone sign the petitions to get me on the ballot for the primary. D*mn yankees.
Doesn’t matter that much, I spread the rumor it was all a Romney conspiracy with the Virginia GOP and my loony supporters believe it. I can keep screwing up and they’ll blame anybody but me. It’s great!
Comment by Rick Perry — 1/6/2012 @ 12:39 pm
GOP was having trouble
What a sad, sad story
Needed a new leader
To restore its former glory
Where, oh where was he?
Where could that man be?
We looked around
And then we found
The man for you and me
And now it’s…
Springtime for Gingrich and GOP
Maddow is giddy and gay
Reagan them in a frantic pace
Look out,
A Romney-Newt debate
Springtime for Gingrich and Tiffany’s
Winter for Cartier’s in France
Springtime for Gingrich and Tiffany’s
Come on, Newties
Go into your dance
I was named Newton Leroy
And liked the zoo as a small boy
Don’t be stupid, be a smarty
Come and join my NewTzie Party
Springtime for Gingrich and GOP
New Hampshire’s the next place to play
Bomb throwing wrapped in lies again
Reagan is on the rise again
Springtime for Gingrich and GOP
Iran’s gone shopping once more
Springtime for Gingrich and GOP
Means that soon we’ll be going
We’ve got to be going
You know we’ll be going to war
Comment by Mel Brooks — 1/6/2012 @ 12:42 pm
I gots me a hot stock tip from Mitt and bought Kodak at fifty cents.
Oops.
Comment by Rick Perry — 1/6/2012 @ 12:44 pm
I’ve returned to Texas to spend time with family, reassess my campaign, and . . . uh, what was that third thing?
Oh yeah — quit.
Comment by The Guv, y'all! — 1/6/2012 @ 12:57 pm
He said Romney conspired to get him thrown off the ballot?
Link? That’s very unlikely and I hope he knows better. Which of his supporters believed that?
The truth is that changing the rules in VA from incredibly tough to ridiculously tough only served to help the insiders. It shouldn’t be up to bureaucrats who gets to be president. Every serious candidate belongs on the ballot, and the measure of seriousness is not whether or not they got a waiver from having their signatures checked because some RINOs came up with a new 15k threshold and informed the candidates… er… before the reformers entered the race to be informed.
It would make more sense for the actual voters to decide this matter. I don’t want the USA to be more like Russia, with byzantine and pointless rules constantly being reinterpreted. Just let the voters decide.
It’s not relevant to Perry’s chances anyway. This state favored Newt and I think they deserve a chance to vote for him if they want to.
Whatever stupid laws say they shouldn’t be allowed to are not really laws at all. They are an affront to the concept of the consent of the governed. VA rejected Romney in 2008, 96 to 4.
Come on, this isn’t really something you think is funny, is it? It’s a disaster.
and what Perry submitted was sufficient in prior elections. It used to take another candidate challenging their competitor first. That’s important. If Romney doesn’t challenge his competitors being on the ballot, that’s good enough.
It’s really too late now. The damage to the GOP in that swing state is done, and the folks running the show there have a lot to answer for in what they thought these changes would accomplish aside from sucking dry candidates with smaller operations.
VA Lt Gov Bill Bolling really did serious damage to the GOP with these rules. His claims that letting Perry and Newt onto the ballot would be unfair to Romney is pathetic. Let the voters decide who the president will be. Not letting them is unfair to them, and that’s what really matters. Romney should suck it up and get their consent.
I suspect the conspiracy thing has something to do with the Romney’s VA state chair, whose name is also Bill Bolling because he is the same guy.
Comment by Dustin — 1/6/2012 @ 12:58 pm
Eye ar dum
Comment by Gov Rick Perry — 1/6/2012 @ 1:01 pm
Why so much hostility to Perry?
You realize his voters are going to have to pick another candidate, right? Perry is damn unlikely to return as a factor.
You’re just hoping to get a few kicks in, now that Perry is down. And yeah, I get that you’re also just being a troll.
Have some shame, dude. I don’t even try to win on the terms you’ve set up. You’re just degrading yourself.
Comment by Dustin — 1/6/2012 @ 1:05 pm
You’re stealiong my line. I’m the one who always talks about Romney’s dog.
Comment by Gail Collins — 1/6/2012 @ 1:06 pm
I forgotses about that.
Willard Flip Flopney actually showed animal cruelty. I hear the dog died a month later and Romney didn’t remember what its name was, and the officer involved was crying when she saw it freezing, strapped to the roof of a car.
Is Willard Flip Flopney a sociopath?
Comment by ASPCA — 1/6/2012 @ 1:13 pm
If y’all cain’t stand the heat. Y’all best get outta the… uh… uh….
I cain’t. Oops.
Comment by Rick Perry — 1/6/2012 @ 1:13 pm
Yes, Willard Flip Flopney is a sociopath.
Our most staunch defender abandoned us after saying stopping a fetus’s heart with poison is a God given right.
Those are literally the exact words he used.
Did you know Mormons make pastries out of aborted babies? Michelle Bachmann heard this from a crying Ron Paul after a campaign event.
Comment by Department of Abortion — 1/6/2012 @ 1:17 pm
[X] pollock jokes [ ] Jackson Pollack
Comment by Cultured Perry votes — 1/6/2012 @ 1:17 pm
“Comment by Cultured Perry votes ”
Rick Perry doesn’t have any votes, genius. He’s stomped five to one by Ron Paul and ten to one by Santorum and Romney each.
That’s despite Romney actually expressing disgust at the idea he’d be like Reagan. He was ‘independent!’. Ron Paul and Romney, disloyal to Republicans but supported more than Rick Perry ten to one.
Reality bites.
Comment by Captain Obvious — 1/6/2012 @ 1:21 pm
Son, you’re taking this thread a bit too seriously. Have some oatmeal, it’s the right thing to do.
Comment by Wilford Brimley — 1/6/2012 @ 1:26 pm
Does talking about politics leave a taste like tree bark in your mouth? Try Grape-Nuts, the back-to-nature cereal!
Comment by Euell Gibbons — 1/6/2012 @ 1:29 pm
I’m so sorry I upset you by asking a question. Excuse me. it’s the thread where people act like assholes to people they disagree with.
Comment by Dustin — 1/6/2012 @ 1:32 pm
Again, get a damn life. Lampoon Obama or Rick Perry or something.
Comment by Dustin — 1/6/2012 @ 11:07 am
You’re just hoping to get a few kicks in, now that Perry is down. And yeah, I get that you’re also just being a troll.
Comment by Dustin — 1/6/2012 @ 1:05 pm
Skin, meet Thin.
Comment by Careful what y'all wish for — 1/6/2012 @ 1:39 pm
and by all means, if a foaming at the mouth moron wants to screech on and on about Rick Perry at this point, I guess that’s better than actually damaging someone who can beat Romney. And it shows them for what they are… it was never about electability. They actually hated something about Perry. his religion? His state? Being a real conservative instead of one of those fake RINO ones? That he went to a state school instead of Harvard?
I also advise such cowards to continue knowing what’s good for them and doing it as sockpuppets so they don’t destroy their reputation by showing what idiots they are.
Comment by Dustin — 1/6/2012 @ 1:41 pm
I was more irritated at the ballot issue than Perry himself. Perry got crushed because he was a huge disappointment as a politician.
But the ballot issue isn’t really about Perry. It’s about getting to vote.
Comment by Dustin — 1/6/2012 @ 1:44 pm
This is not the thread you are looking for. There are 1,348,529 ways in the galaxy to make any point you want to make while using a sockpuppet.
You are eager, but not yet wise. Watch and learn, young Padawan. Patience. And you too will master the secrets of getting your point across with a sense of humor.
Comment by Qui-Gon Jinn, back from the beyond — 1/6/2012 @ 1:47 pm
Looks like Issa is all done. He has the courage of Scotty Brown, the little brother the Maine sisters never had.
Comment by sickofrinos — 1/6/2012 @ 1:51 pm
I don’t give a crap about that.
Deal with it.
I don’t think voting rights are something to joke about.
I grant there is no good reason for me to be sensitive about Perry, but I think you’re not really following my points very well (I guess I don’t know who is who, though).
It’s possible to say ‘lampoon the guy’ and then say ‘why do you hate him that much?’ It’s possible to say ‘why bring that petty crap up’ and then say ‘and this unpetty conduct pisses me off’.
I know, such things are super complicated.
Comment by Dustin — 1/6/2012 @ 1:51 pm
Gosh darn it Aaron!
I told your lawyer not to share my email with you. How dare she refuse to unethically withhold information from her client! Stop making fun of me! Stop it now!
(weeps uncontrollably and sucks his thumb.)
Comment by The Speedway Bomber — 1/6/2012 @ 2:02 pm
I don’t disagree with you. And I don’t think I’ve acted like an asshole. But this is meant to be a non-serious thread, and should be taken as such.
Step back from the thread for a bit. Pretend you’re someone who’s never been to this site before, someone who doesn’t even like politics, and read everything again. You might find that you’ve been overreacting.
Comment by Wilford Brimley — 1/6/2012 @ 2:05 pm
Comment by Dustin — 1/6/2012 @ 1:51 pm
Fail once again to see you do, that my words at # 101, came from the same commenter as the Perry comments, did not.
Your eagerness, to be commended it is. Fail to see you do, that sockpuppet threads are meant to be less serious, they are. Very true it is that the same things you utter now, expressed better here can they be if you make use of the Sockpuppet Force. Feel it you must. You have it now, though you know it not.
Comment by Yoda, Jedi Master — 1/6/2012 @ 2:06 pm
To take off my socks for a second, I’ve posted on this thread as (Really) Random House, Bugs Bunny, and Wilford Brimley.
Comment by Chuck Bartowski — 1/6/2012 @ 2:07 pm
Darth Wilford, correct in these matters he is. Crossposted he and I.
Comment by Yoda, Jedi Master — 1/6/2012 @ 2:07 pm
No, Chuck, not everyone’s been acting like an asshole, of course.
What’s funny is I’ve left every comment in this thread, including yours.
Comment by Dustin — 1/6/2012 @ 2:08 pm
You might think that if you haven’t been following the other threads, but no, I’m justified in being very irritated with the assholes.
It would be a mistake for someone to conflate those I’m irritated with with those I’m merely explaining myself to, Chuck. If I’m been unclear, my mistake.
But no, I’m totally justified. There are some assholes commenting here. I do not denigrate them to call them what they are. At least one fabricated repeatedly to deceive and smear me.
It’s minor compared to most things, and certainly nothing compared to some of the other bastards online. All I want is to call out cowardice as I see it.
And no, that’s not very humorous. If I want to be humorous, I’ll leave a sockpuppet joke, which many times I have, including some making fun of Perry.
Comment by Dustin — 1/6/2012 @ 2:13 pm
I thought the point of the sockpuppet thread was to be funny.
Comment by Have Blue — 1/6/2012 @ 2:13 pm
What’s funny is I’ve left every comment in this thread, including yours.
Comment by Dustin — 1/6/2012 @ 2:08 pm
Now that’s funny, I don’t care who I am.
Comment by Sybil Dorsett — 1/6/2012 @ 2:13 pm
You all better start being funnier, or I… I… will sue you!
Comment by The Speedway Bomber — 1/6/2012 @ 2:22 pm
Yep, that is the rule I broke.
Comment by Dustin — 1/6/2012 @ 2:23 pm
How do you get a Jewish girl’s number?
Roll up her sleeve!
Comment by Ron Paul — 1/6/2012 @ 2:25 pm
How many feminists does it take to change anything?
Trick question.
Feminists can’t change anything.
Comment by Willard Romney — 1/6/2012 @ 2:26 pm
God dammit. How many feminists does it take to change a god damn light bulb?
Trick question, etc etc.
What do I have in common with neutrinos?
We’re both constantly penetrating your mother.
Comment by Willard Romney — 1/6/2012 @ 2:35 pm
I just did a number on the Constitution and only one of all the comments thus far on Patterico had anything to say about it. Ahh, life is good. Is the FLOTUS around? (Sitting back and lighting up a cigar).
Comment by Obamaman — 1/6/2012 @ 2:49 pm
Obamaman, it’s cool.
Do what you gotta do.
Comment by John Boner — 1/6/2012 @ 2:56 pm
hey China, the US won’t be able to fight two wars at once.
DID YOU HEAR THAT? ONE WAR AT A TIME MAX.
I just thought I would actually HIGHLIGHT that when discussing cutting the military down to size. You know, why not just explain it as clearly as I can? It’s not like this might provoke someone to screw with the USA when it is in a war somewhere in the middle east, right?
Peace through superior awareness of America’s weakness, that’s what I always say.
Comment by Obamaramadingdong — 1/6/2012 @ 3:00 pm
Stop making fun of Moosechelle Obama, Jim Hoft![sobs uncontrollably]
Comment by The LA Times — 1/6/2012 @ 3:01 pm
How many
feministshomemakers does it take to changeanythinga diaper?Trick question.
FeministsHouse daddys can’t change anything because they keep losing the remote in the sofa cushions.Comment by Saint Willard of Romney
God dammit. Gosh darn it. How manyfeministsladies does it take to change agod damngosh darn light bulb?Trick question, etc etc., with amber waves of grain.
What do I have in common with neutrinos?
We’re both
constantly penetrating your mothervery fond of Italian foods made with amber waves of grain.Comment by Saint Willard of Romney — 1/6/2012
Comment by Saint Willard of Romney — 1/6/2012 @ 3:01 pm
From waaaaay downtown in my bathtub, bang!
Comment by Keith Olbermann — 1/6/2012 @ 3:02 pm
Obama\Paul 2012
New North Korean Leader Kumofsumyungguy.
Comment by sickofrinos — 1/6/2012 @ 3:14 pm
There are some azzholes commenting here.
You gotta name?
You gotta name?
You gotta name?
Oops.
Comment by Rick Perry — 1/6/2012 @ 3:23 pm
You gotta name?
You gotta name?
You gotta name?
Oops.
Comment by Rick Perry — 1/6/2012 @ 3:23 pm
hahahahahahaha
Comment by Sense-O-Humor, Inc. — 1/6/2012 @ 3:29 pm
Somebody HELP USSSS!!!!!!
Comment by Keef's rubber duckys — 1/6/2012 @ 3:30 pm
In honor of my tremendous father, the Great Leader, I, as his Great Successor, wish to comment Barack Hussein Obama, President of the United States, for reducing the capacity of the imperialist United States Army to be aggressive and hostile toward the oppressed peoples of the world. This is a bold move for peace in the world, and certainly goes a long way toward justifying the rather premature award of the Nobel Peace Prize to President Obama.
The Korean Workers Party and the Korean Peoples’ Army suggest that, to continue to show the world the United States’ and President Obama’s good faith, that all of the American troops in or near the Demilitarized Zone along the 38th Parallel, separating the peace-loving Korean people of the Democratic Peoples’ Republic from our oppressed brethren under the despotic, capitalist and imperialist puppet regime in the south, be repatriated to their homes in the United States. Then the heroic people of the Democratic Peoples’ Republic can begin true negotiations for peace with our separated brethren.
Comment by Kim Jung Un — 1/6/2012 @ 3:38 pm
Yeah, that is funny.
The only name I’ve got for the anonymous douche who smeared me and admitted he made it up is “coward”.
He should continue doing what’s best for him and keep his name to himself, like a coward.
Comment by Dustin — 1/6/2012 @ 3:52 pm
One post (Rodney King) where I did not use my usual moniker. Fer Chrissakes, let there be chill.
Eyes on the objective! ABO.
Comment by Colonel Haiku — 1/6/2012 @ 3:57 pm
It is UNFAIR if the voters can choose Newt or Perry on the ballot!
Unfair! To Mitt Romney, of course! As LT Gov, it is my duty to make sure the voters get shafted because that is what’s most fair to Romney! That’s my priority as Lt Gov of Virginia.
What, it’s unfair to the voters to not get to choose whoever the hell they want? Big deal! I say which candidates meet the new standards. Brand spanking new standards we’ve never tried in the past, and you’re already complaining? If it wasn’t good enough for any other election, shouldn’t it be good enough at least this time?
Of course there’s no way for the GOP or the state government to right an obvious wrong. That would be democracy, and that’s icky because it kinda sounds like democrat, but most of all because the official position of the Mitt Romney campaign is that it’s not fair to Mitt Romney if Newt and Rick are on the ballot.
Comment by Bob Bolling, VA Chair for Mitt Romney's campaign — 1/6/2012 @ 3:59 pm
Dude, I’m not talking about you. You denied making that comment and I have no reason not to take you at your word. You and Daleyrocks both offered direct denials, I appreciate it, and that’s fine.
Honestly, you like Romney, I don’t, and we both think anyone is better than Obama.
We have no quarrel at all, man.
Comment by Dustin — 1/6/2012 @ 4:01 pm
What do you mean, I may only have a 90 day gig on NBC? I went to a very private high school, (Mommy wouldn’t let me go to a DC public school), Then Stanford and Oxford, (thanks for the alum backing Daddy). I gave up a gig at a hedge fund with an outragous salary for my experience to join up iwth you.
Well, too bad, I’ll jsut live off Mommy and Daddy’s money. So There!
Comment by Princess Chelsea, daughter of Slick Willie and Hillary — 1/6/2012 @ 4:05 pm
Darling daughter, we hate to break it to you, but… We put a large chunk of the royalities into a private foundation to save big $$ on taxes. And by the way, given the rules on insiders and that the Republicans will soon control things and will be watching, you can’t draw a management fee.
Mommy has to pay back some old campaign debts and Daddy has been tossing money at cheap women. Sooo… Ain’t much left for you.
Comment by Slick Willie and Hillary — 1/6/2012 @ 4:10 pm
Where’s the beef?
Comment by Col. Clara Pell Haiku — 1/6/2012 @ 4:13 pm
law, in its true notion, is not so much the limitation as the direction of a free and intelligent agent to his proper interest, and prescribes no farther than is for the general good of those under that law: could they be happier without it, the law, as an useless thing, would of itself vanish; and that ill deserves the name of confinement which hedges us in only from bogs and precipices. So that, however it may be mistaken, the end of law is not to abolish or restrain, but to preserve and enlarge freedom.
The freedom to vote for whichever candidate VA wants is sacred.
All should hold Mitt Romney responsible for its chair complaining it would be unfair for the voters to have this right.
Comment by John Locke — 1/6/2012 @ 4:15 pm
Peller
http://youtu.be/Ug75diEyiA0
Comment by Colonel Haiku — 1/6/2012 @ 4:15 pm
Us rats would like to thank you DC Occuppiers for the extra food and a warm place to sleep above ground at McPherson Square.
Comment by DC Rodent — 1/6/2012 @ 4:17 pm
Going cheap does get you volume, but going high-class gets you high class.
Comment by Eliot Spitzer — 1/6/2012 @ 4:25 pm
Hey Barney, thanks for setting me up. I’ll slide right in. Bye the way, a check from a Kennedy trust is coming your way.
Comment by JPK III — 1/6/2012 @ 4:32 pm
The Island Tells Me We have to Vote Ron Paul!!!
Comment by John Locke — 1/6/2012 @ 4:32 pm
It’s possible to say ‘lampoon the guy’ and then say ‘why do you hate him that much?’ It’s possible to say ‘why bring that petty crap up’ and then say ‘and this unpetty conduct pisses me off’.
I know, such things are super complicated.
Thou art effortless in thy simplicity.
Comment by Indians are such giving people — 1/6/2012 @ 4:50 pm
Wow, you’re really into this. I must have really upset you.
My apologies for being so provoked and detracting from the funny thread, sincerely.
But some people are asking for it. Doesn’t mean I have to wrestle with a pig..
Comment by Dustin — 1/6/2012 @ 4:56 pm
My apologies for being so provoked and detracting from the funny thread, sincerely.
But some people are asking for it. Doesn’t mean I have to wrestle with a pig..
Comment by Dustin — 1/6/2012 @ 4:56 pm
No worries, dude. It’s just a sockpuppet thread. We still like you.
Next time why don’t you make your points using sockpuppets. You know, give it some thought. Make it funny. Hang loose.
Now go enjoy your weekend and see you here next week. Same time, same bat channel!
Comment by you know there's more than one of us, right, it's cool — 1/6/2012 @ 5:26 pm
Perhaps if you’re interested in funny jokes you should just make funny jokes instead of moan about what you think other people should say?
You do realize you’re not funny, right? If that’s really the end all be all for you, you’re doing it wrong.
Comment by Icee — 1/6/2012 @ 5:40 pm
GOD DAMMIT YOU’RE NOT FUNNY ENOUGH.
Comment by Idiot with no sense of irony — 1/6/2012 @ 5:43 pm
back in my day we didn’t have to throw our depends at people who weren’t being funny when we were bored! we had minstrels for amusement!
And they weren’t allowed into church, either! Marked by Cain Himself!
Where am I?
Comment by Grandpa Simpson — 1/6/2012 @ 5:46 pm
You do realize you’re not funny, right?
Oh, sorry. Which comments? Made quite a few on this thread.
Comment by No Good Deed Goes Unpunished — 1/6/2012 @ 5:46 pm
This just never gets tired
Comment by Patterico's Audience — 1/6/2012 @ 5:49 pm
The one I quoted.
Is this really that complicated?
If you’re saying it’s OK to complain if you also contribute a bunch of funny sockpuppet comments too, why are you assuming anyone else isn’t doing the same?
Comment by derp — 1/6/2012 @ 5:52 pm
I was right.
Comment by Lee Langlois — 1/6/2012 @ 6:10 pm
Hey Barney, thanks for setting me up. I’ll slide right in.
Comment by JPK III
T. M. I!!!
Comment by Jean Louis Canola — 1/6/2012 @ 6:15 pm
Is this really that complicated?
/slow plodding mode on
No,
Icee and derpDustin, since you ask. #148 was supposed to make the point that, since you, basically, implied I was a hypocrite by not trying to follow the “funny” rule of the thread, that just maybe there were a lot of other sockpuppet comments I made you didn’t know about.And #144 was supposed to be a nice comment at the end of a thread to help the next sockpuppet thread be a little more loose and funny. Cause this one wasn’t really, even though there were some funny comments in the middle of the arguing.
/slow plodding mode off
Doesn’t really work if I have to explain it. Maybe it was a mistake trying to be nice. Anyway. Going out for the evening, so, peace out.
Comment by Not A Personal Vendetta, Believe It Or Not — 1/6/2012 @ 6:16 pm
This is so much fun. Such witty repartee.
Comment by Patterico's Audience — 1/6/2012 @ 6:27 pm
We told you. Did you listen? No. Talking about you guys is BORING. Pay attention to US, and snap to it!
Comment by stupid famous people galore, STILL waiting their turn — 1/6/2012 @ 6:31 pm
I refuse to submit to the indignity of being made to wait. This is the Worst Thread in the World.
.
.
.
i’llbeinmybathtub
Comment by Keith Olbermann, aka Mr. Indispensible — 1/6/2012 @ 6:33 pm
Who does Keith think he is?! IIIIIIIIII should be first in line for sockpuppets! Presidents don’t wait for anyone. Especially not me. I’m the one YOU’VE been waiting for, not the other way around!
Comment by President Barack H. Obama, also storming off in a snit — 1/6/2012 @ 6:36 pm
I am throwing the game tonight. Plus, I look like Hairy Reed, so I suck.
Comment by Bill Snyder — 1/6/2012 @ 6:37 pm
Barack — where are you going? Get back here!
Comment by First Lady Michelle Obama, too angry to notice that this leaves a mere peasant at the head of the sockpuppet line — 1/6/2012 @ 6:39 pm
It’s true I’m not important like the President and First Lady. And anyway, I was just protecting my baby. I guess I’m not bad with a gun. Thanks, everyone, for the support.
Comment by Sarah McKinley, crack shot and mom extraordinaire — 1/6/2012 @ 6:42 pm
Exactly. You are leaving unfunny comments too. Just like me. And maybe there are a lot of funny sockpuppet comments I made that you didn’t know about. Just like you. I pointed to an unfunny comment because you were whining about how this is apparently ruining your life.
But you were replying to me saying I’m sorry for not being funny, explaining I realize it doesn’t need to be that way.
So in reality, you are being uncharitable instead of accepting the amends. And you feel strangely entitled to thoughtfulness you do not offer.
Thanks so much for clearing that up. It’s so serious a matter and I really needed to know.
btw, whoever left that shit in the other thread smearing me is a coward. anyone who has a problem with me saying so anywhere, anytime, does not deserve any respect from me and they sure won’t get any. Anyone who is simply bored and tired of it has my sincere apologies. My bad.
[note: released from moderation. --Stashiu]
Comment by Dustin — 1/6/2012 @ 6:42 pm
[X] horse dung [ ] horse sense
Comment by Rancher Perry votes — 1/6/2012 @ 6:43 pm
[X] Knute Rockne [ ] Newt Gingrich
Comment by Catholics vote... — 1/6/2012 @ 6:49 pm
[ } Mitt Romney [ ] Mitt Romney
Comment by The Only Ballot That's Fair To Mitt Romney — 1/6/2012 @ 6:51 pm
Hey bud, when you reply to an apology about an incredibly minor thing with a self important lecture that covers what the apology already admitted, you don’t seem very charitable.
And when you demand people give you thoughtfulness you plainly aren’t offering others, that seems entitled and rude.
But I sure hope it’s not personal, as this is incredibly minor stuff.
Comment by The Only Ballot That's Fair To Mitt Romney — 1/6/2012 @ 6:54 pm
I had Michigan, giving 2.5
Comment by Ref who blew call in the VaTech overtime stealing a TD from them — 1/6/2012 @ 6:55 pm
[X] French’s [X] Grey Poupon
Comment by The I'll take my dog with Romney votes... — 1/6/2012 @ 7:01 pm
[X] sunglasses [ ] Goulden’s
Comment by The I'll take my dog with Bachmann votes... — 1/6/2012 @ 7:02 pm
Speaking of dogs, what kind of freaking egomaniac names their dog their own initials?
Strap me to the roof of Mitt’s car and kill me already.
Comment by BO — 1/6/2012 @ 7:02 pm
I am the worst sports announcer not named Bill Walton. I defy you to find somebody that goes more crazy over routine plays than I do.
Comment by Gus Johnson — 1/6/2012 @ 7:04 pm
Bring on the bulldozers!
Comment by Elin Woods — 1/6/2012 @ 7:11 pm
She bulldozed my nuts in court.
Comment by Tigger — 1/6/2012 @ 7:22 pm
WASSUP?
Comment by My Whining Is Always Totally Justified — 1/6/2012 @ 7:23 pm
Say fellas, I’ve been away all day. Anything interesting happen?
Comment by Icy — 1/6/2012 @ 7:28 pm
Two new names: Colmes and Robinson. Okay, put them in next to Vick and Edwards.
Comment by Keepers of the 9th Circle — 1/6/2012 @ 7:33 pm
Back when Johnny Wooden was my coach, and I was touring with Garcia and the Dead …
Comment by Bill Walton — 1/6/2012 @ 7:36 pm
Bugs Bunny votes…
[X] Chuck Jones [ ] Chuck Bartowski
Comment by Bugs Bunny votes... — 1/6/2012 @ 7:36 pm
How do I feel about my die-hard non-traitorous supporters?
The same way a lonely sheep farmer out on the Texas plains feels about his flock.
I can’t quit ewe!!!
Comment by Gov. Going Down on the Farm — 1/7/2012 @ 8:03 am
“Virgin Wool” is a fleet-footed sheep in Texas!
Comment by Texas Red — 1/7/2012 @ 8:09 am
For my Texas brethren, fleet-footed means sheep what runs fast.
Comment by Texas Red — 1/7/2012 @ 8:11 am
No, Farmer Rick. I do NOT want to find out what “double dip” really means!
Comment by Bessie, running as fast as her four wooly legs will go — 1/7/2012 @ 10:00 am
If we all saw cows being slaughtered for food we would become vegetarians…………………not.
Only idiots would.
Comment by Dohbiden — 1/7/2012 @ 1:40 pm
I love those who ask how many wives Romney has never ask how many wives Scary Harry has.
Comment by Dohbiden — 1/7/2012 @ 3:37 pm
[ ] theatre [X] Thee-Ate-tor
Comment by The Ignorant Perry votes... — 1/7/2012 @ 7:07 pm
[X] No class in America [ ] My granddaddy was a Western Pennsylvania coal miner
Comment by The Wealthy, Debating Santorum votes... — 1/7/2012 @ 7:33 pm
[X]breasts and thighs [ ] wings and drumsticks
Comment by The Cheating, Chicken Gingrich votes... — 1/7/2012 @ 7:36 pm
[ ] watching GOP losers [X] watching football losers
Comment by Saturday night votes... — 1/7/2012 @ 7:43 pm
[ ] butter knife [X] Rick Perry
Comment by Dull Tool votes... — 1/7/2012 @ 7:45 pm
The Romney fanbois sure do love ruining threads.
Comment by Patterico's Audience — 1/7/2012 @ 7:54 pm
Santorum hates him some bestiality?
Come on, boys. We’re off to find safer pastures!
Comment by Guv Y'all's Flock — 1/7/2012 @ 7:58 pm
Romney/Paul 2012
Comment by Find your partner.com — 1/7/2012 @ 8:01 pm
Somebody’s picked up Obama’s trick of enacting decisions without waiting for approval from the group at large.
Comment by Skater Away On The Thin Ice of a New Day Bois — 1/7/2012 @ 8:04 pm
You all suck and are quite stupid. After mocking everyone that does not actively support Mitt, we will also demand you pledge your fealty to Mitt.
Comment by Romney Fanboi — 1/7/2012 @ 8:05 pm
The rnc doesn’t need condoms.
They are shooting blanks.
Comment by The Pope — 1/8/2012 @ 4:41 am
New Hampshire???????
…………….. oops.
Comment by Rick Perry reacts... — 1/10/2012 @ 6:42 pm
Thank you, New Hampshire. I will be your nominee. I will lead us back to that shining on a sh-tty hill… or is that a city on a shining hill. Gosh, darn it, my teleprompter jammed. So stand beside me. And guide me. Through the night with spotlights from above. Past the mountains. Through primaries… to both oceans, which I own. God bless America, my Mormon home. Because we’re the land of the free with the best government money can buy. I know. I’ve seen it. I’ve bought it. My eyes have seen the glory of a fist shaking landlord. He is stamping out the ghettos where the grapes of wrath are stored. He has tasted the white lightning sold by hill people galore. My truth is marching on. I have read a fiery gospel penned by burnished rows of steel: Plant gates shuttered closed for profit can be quite a lucrative deal. And I like to fire people and enjoy the fun for real. My truth is marching on. Glory, glory, hallelujah! So beautiful. Those jet-blued skies. Ans amber waves of grain. Where the parts are worth more than the whole. With purple mountains. and fruity plains– but no same sex marriage. America, America, I am ready to lead. To run you down, into the ground, from sea to shining sea. Now let’s win in South Carolina, where they grow tobacco and I don’t smoke, and sell coffee which I don’t drink!
Comment by Sir Willard of Romney reacts... — 1/10/2012 @ 7:16 pm
Vulture capitalism is the Bain of my existence. Pass the Grey Poupon.
Comment by Sir Willard of Romney reacts... — 1/11/2012 @ 5:40 pm