Patterico's Pontifications

12/21/2011

Bad News

Filed under: General — Patterico @ 1:21 pm



My little sister’s IVF didn’t work out.

I still appreciate the kind words and prayers you guys sent her way. She still has faith things will work out, somehow. So do I.

31 Responses to “Bad News”

  1. Yes it will, never give up!

    EricPWJohnson (c5f1fc) — 12/21/2011 @ 1:43 pm

  2. Very sorry to hear that, Mr. Frey. Thoughts, prayers and wishes for success in the future are with you and your sister.

    Colonel Haiku (8699c3) — 12/21/2011 @ 1:45 pm

  3. I’m sorry to hear that. I hope the next try, if there is one, brings better success.

    aphrael (5d993c) — 12/21/2011 @ 1:45 pm

  4. That’s a real Bummer!
    Better Luck, in the future LittleSis.

    AD-RtR/OS! (c22768) — 12/21/2011 @ 1:57 pm

  5. she needs to see JD’s video

    brb

    happyfeet (a55ba0) — 12/21/2011 @ 1:57 pm

  6. here you tell her watch this

    happyfeet (a55ba0) — 12/21/2011 @ 1:57 pm

  7. We had to try IVF x3. Give her our best.

    JD (269dac) — 12/21/2011 @ 2:01 pm

  8. Wonderful video, Happyfeet. Says what I wish I could put into words but know better than to try.

    Prayers to the entire Frey family.

    Dustin (cb3719) — 12/21/2011 @ 2:02 pm

  9. Happy Feet: Thank you for that.

    Patrick, tell your sister that God has a plan for every one of us. Trust in Him. All one needs to do is give thanks for all your blessings and when you trust Him to your core all you need pray is “Thy Will Be Done.”

    All good things happen when you believe.

    Anita Busch (a025dd) — 12/21/2011 @ 4:21 pm

  10. Best wishes and prayers.

    There is an old Steve Martin movie called “Parenthood.” In it, the teenaged boyfriend of Martin’s sister proclaims that “…you need a license to drive a car, but any can have a baby.”

    It’s true that many people who have children don’t appreciate what a blessing it is. I hope your sister is able to realize her dream of motherhood soon.

    Simon Jester (a0676f) — 12/21/2011 @ 4:21 pm

  11. That is sad, I’m sure your sister is hurting right now. I hope she gets the family she dreams of.

    MayBee (081489) — 12/21/2011 @ 4:23 pm

  12. Simon,

    Fortunately, she is already the mother of a delightful son whom she calls “JMonster.” She has been trying to get John Michael a brother or sister.

    I know she appreciates your thoughts and prayers, as do I.

    Patterico (81d4bd) — 12/21/2011 @ 5:34 pm

  13. Why is it that people who SHOULD have children are unable to do so, while people who have no business having children are prolific?

    norcal (9d4719) — 12/21/2011 @ 5:57 pm

  14. Keep faith.

    DCSCA (9d1bb3) — 12/21/2011 @ 7:05 pm

  15. Patterico: my apologies for not being clear. I’m sure that your sister will hear the nonsense of “…you already have a child…” that does not salve her pain.

    But, as you say, she has her faith, and a strong family, to sustain her. I look at that silly television show about teenaged mothers, and I literally don’t know what to say; I know far too many women who are trying unsuccessfully to conceive. Where is their television show?

    Again, best wishes.

    Norcal: I messed up the “Parenthood” quote from Keanu Reaves, which is worth your time, but you got the gist of it.

    Simon Jester (a0676f) — 12/21/2011 @ 7:27 pm

  16. Patrick — if she has a group health insurance plan she should check with the benefits specialist. It can sometimes be tough to get infertility treatments covered before a first child is born unless there is a specific medical diagnosis that establishes an inability to conceive naturally, especially under the age of 35. If you don’t have a definitive medical diagnosis, they tell you to keep trying since there is no obvious medical reason estabishing that you cannot conceive naturally.

    But, once you have a first child, if more than 5 years passes without conceiving a second time when you are actively trying to have another child, there is a presumption of conception problems that causes the coverage to kick in. Most plans require you to pay the annual deductible, but the balance of the treatments is then covered under the plan. So, she could go through another course of egg harvesting and fertilization, giving her numerous new embryos with which to continue their efforts.

    shipwreckedcrew (4ae072) — 12/21/2011 @ 7:28 pm

  17. Just in case it wasn’t clear — we’ve been down this road, and after 11 years we have 3 wonderful kids and are currently contemplating No. 4 (3 embryos left).

    shipwreckedcrew (4ae072) — 12/21/2011 @ 7:31 pm

  18. My wife and i have dealt with fertility issues and so i can relate. I hope she gets a child, but you know, we have wondered if God was telling us it would be better to adopt.

    I mean for instance if we adopted a little girl or a handicapped boy from china, we might be rescuing a child from what could end up being a lifetime of horror.

    I don’t want to say they should definitely give up, but they should consider that maybe one door is closing but another is opening.

    Hopefully one way or the other your sister finds the path to happiness. and if that sounds really open ended, that is because it is.

    Btw, off topic, but regulars here really might be interested in clicking on the link attached to my name today and tomorrow. i’ll say no more.

    Aaron Worthing (73a7ea) — 12/21/2011 @ 7:45 pm

  19. Thank you to everyone for the prayers, the support, and the advice! Knowing so many people have been there for us really means a lot.

    It has been a long road for us…one you can read in its entirety if you wish to on my blog. Go to the link at the top of the page that reads My Infertility Journey.

    To those of you on your own infertility journey…may God bless you and your desire for a family! I agree with Happy Feet…NEVER GIVE UP!

    yourlilsis (1cd43c) — 12/21/2011 @ 9:19 pm

  20. Sorry to hear of this. Thank you for letting us know.

    MD in Philly (3d3f72) — 12/21/2011 @ 9:19 pm

  21. So sorry.

    Dohbiden (ef98f0) — 12/21/2011 @ 9:20 pm

  22. Awful news, but glad to see you won’t give up.

    Karl (e39d6b) — 12/21/2011 @ 9:20 pm

  23. Never give up

    Never surrender.

    Dohbiden (ef98f0) — 12/21/2011 @ 9:29 pm

  24. Keep the Faith.

    sickofrinos (44de53) — 12/22/2011 @ 2:52 am

  25. I sympathize deeply with lilsis.

    My wife and I struggled with conception, as well. We have a genetic similarity which can make the embryo non-viable — spontaneous miscarriage in the first month. But we kept rolling the dice. Even after that, we were on tenterhooks. We did genetic testing in the eleventh week and thankfully the baby was completely free of the dangerous gene and I have a beautiful daughter. Did I tell you that she scored in the 99% percentile, nationally, in reading?

    We did try for a second child, as well, but that was not in the dice. We are very grateful for the one we were gifted with.

    The fox bragged to the lioness that she had nine cubs whereas the lioness could have only one. The lioness replied, “One but a lion”.

    nk (1346e5) — 12/22/2011 @ 5:34 am

  26. My oldest brother and sister are adopted and my brother adopted a girl from Russia in 2002. I can’t imagine my family without my brother, sister or niece.

    Please don’t rule out adoption. There are so many children waiting and wishing to be loved.

    Anita Busch (a025dd) — 12/22/2011 @ 5:08 pm

  27. Great comments.

    DRJ (a83b8b) — 12/22/2011 @ 5:44 pm

  28. They have not ruled out adoption. Far from it. But that has been a heartbreaker in the past as well. I think she has discussed it before on her blog.

    Patterico (ebcbeb) — 12/22/2011 @ 10:19 pm

  29. Patrick,

    As my family found out, it is easier to adopt from a foreign country — Russia, China — than this one. Tragic, but true.

    Anita

    Anita Busch (a025dd) — 12/27/2011 @ 9:47 am

  30. I’ve refrained from posting on this thread until now because, frankly, one never knows quite what is appropriate no matter how well meant. But based on the info Patterico provided about JMonster I’d like to add this: Having (or being) an only child is not a curse or a problem to be avoided or remedied. It can also be considered a tremendous blessing for all involved–a situation that can result in deep and wonderful lifelong emotional and intellectual relationships. The stereotypes of neurotic overprotective helicopter parents and lonely “spoiled brat only children” are stereotypes. The world contains many successful, happy, mentally healthy, highly social, fulfilled only children of all ages. I’ll say no more.

    elissa (4959ae) — 12/27/2011 @ 10:25 am

  31. Really enjoyed this blog article.Much thanks again. Really Cool.

    Veronica Broussard (d77a18) — 1/16/2012 @ 5:22 am


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