Patterico's Pontifications

9/30/2011

Sockpuppet Friday—the “Anti-Bullying Issues” Edition!

Filed under: General — Aaron Worthing @ 5:18 am

[Guest post by Aaron Worthing; if you have tips, please send them here.  Or by Twitter @AaronWorthing.]

As usual, you are positively encouraged to engage in sockpuppetry in this thread. The usual rules apply.

Please, be sure to switch back to your regular handle when commenting on other threads. I have made that mistake myself.

And remember: the worst sin you can commit on this thread is not being funny.

—————————-

And for this week’s Friday Frivolity, we have this piece at Cracked.com: “5 Bad Ideas for Dealing With Bullies You Learned in Movies.

The Cracked template for this kind of piece is to apply science to some common issue, with boob jokes and cursing, resulting in an amusing piece.  That’s their M.O. but in this case, rather than using anything resembling science the author, John Cheese, mainly draws on personal experience.  Some samples:

When my brother was in elementary school, he had a couple of kids who would regularly push him around at recess. It got to the point where…

In my experience, I’ve found that if you can manage to pull it off, ignoring works in most cases. Since the [censored] is looking for attention fuel…

Through most of middle school, my brother and I were terrorized by two brothers who lived down the block. They had pretty severe emotional problems. They came from a family of career criminals who were openly abusive to them, and in turn, they took out their anger on anyone they considered weak…

And it goes on and on like this.  There is no attempt to talk about bullying as a phenomenon, just the jerks this guy and his brother had to contend with growing up.  I mean, I’ll grant that Hollywood treats the issue of bullying about as realistically as they treat any other subject…

(Seriously, do not take legal advice from a movie.  Ever.)

…and I don’t think anyone’s experiences on the playground resemble the movies, with only a few notable exceptions.  But this article reads more like therapy for the author than the usual mix of surprising information, bad words and dirty jokes that usually makes a quality Cracked.com piece.

You know, like this one.  Seriously, that “White Death” dude is awesome!

(By the way, language warning on all of the links.)

[Posted and authored by Aaron Worthing.]

38 Responses to “Sockpuppet Friday—the “Anti-Bullying Issues” Edition!”

  1. Make friends with the biggest and toughest kid in school by helping him with his homework. Worked for me…

    an unbullied sock puppet (3d3f72)

  2. That last cracked link is one of my favorite of theirs.

    Dustin (b2fb78)

  3. When I moved to a new state at age 11, I found myself bullied by older boys on the bus almost every day. Punches, painful ear-flicks, things like that.

    One day, I sat in the front row of the bus, and as their ringleader got off the bus, I jumped up and punched him right in the face. He was unable to respond, because other kids were shoving him off the bus.

    Yes, it was a cheap, cowardly shot. But he never bothered me again. It was the end of that.

    I wish I could say I’m ashamed of this, but it would be a lie. I look back on this with warm satisfaction.

    Pious Agnostic (7c3d5b)

  4. As well you should, Pious. As well you should.

    JD (318f81)

  5. Pious, there is such a thing as a cheap shot, but there’s no such thing as fighting dirty if you’re defending yourself.

    I somewhat think that sort of experience is critical for kids to go through. There’s a point at which bullying is beyond the pale and adults should get involved, but usually I think it’s smaller kids who need to learn that they personally have to take responsibility for unfair situations if they want to be safe and happy in life.

    Dustin (b2fb78)

  6. Do not take movie science or technology seriously, either. A general observation: if they make a bloody mess of those things you know about, how accurate do you think the other stuff is?

    Kevin M (563f77)

  7. I like Ender’s strategy for dealing with bullies from “Ender’s Game”.

    For those of you who haven’t read it, he basically surprises a bully and then proceeds to go beserker on him. When he’s done, he tells the bully the next time won’t be as gentle.

    EC (dda60e)

  8. I found that getting beat up where teachers could intervene worked wonders. 1) It told the bully that I was a difficult target, and 2) it caused the bully some disciplinary problems he wasn’t expecting.

    Kevin M (563f77)

  9. Hey Aaron, I can’t see the photo about Hollywood bullying on either Mac or PC.

    carlitos (49ef9f)

  10. Easy solution to bullying is to call the White House and they can start a national campaign against it.

    daleyrocks (bf33e9)

  11. mmm, patrick and carlitos both say they can’t see the pic, but i could using a pc with chrome. Still, i just put in a second version of the same pic and if you still can’t see it, it was a movie poster for that ashley judd travesty “double jeopardy.”

    Aaron Worthing (e7d72e)

  12. While that article gets a bit distracted, it does make some critical points, particularly the top one.

    There are going to be consequences to fighting back.
    There are especially going to be consequences to fighting back after you have gone to a martial arts class for the express purpose of learning how to “fight”; that is: so you can inflict a greater level of injury in the “duel” that you know is inevitable.
    Add in laws that require you to always retreat, and the usual issues with the “responsible adults” never seeing how things start, and the bully’s friends backing up his version, and you may as well spend more time making plans for your suspension than fighting back.

    Sam (8d527c)

  13. PA, there are no “cheap shots” in a street-fight, for the only rule is to Win.

    Another Drew - Restore the Republic / Obama Sucks! (652ab2)

  14. America has gone soft. That is why I have proposed to amend my great health care legislation to include Viagra benefits!

    [Joking aside, don’t say “viagra” in a thread. the spambots get confused.]

    Barky Obama (e7d72e)

  15. I’m sure President Barack Hussein Obama will take care of all bullying now that I paid $35,800 to have dinner with him.

    Lady Gaga (c65c00)

  16. Who says I’m a bully? I dare you to say that to my face.

    Meechelle O. (c65c00)

  17. One of the best ways to avoid being bullied by infidels is to make it seem like you’re hiding in the Mountains of Afghanistan when in reality you’re chilling in a mansion in Pakistan with your wives.

    Osama Bin Laden (8efdaa)

  18. By all means, avoid fighting if at all possible, but you don’t always have that choice. If you can’t avoid a fight then do your best to win it. Yes, there are consequences to defending yourself, but they’re relatively minor in comparison to all other alternatives.

    For boys, the key is making sure the bullies know you’re going to fight back. They may be bigger and tougher, but it ain’t gonna be no one-way street. They can roll the dice, but they can’t escape the risk of taking some damage, and if you get in a lucky shot or two, the very real possibly of a humiliating loss.

    Since the cost of picking on the wrong kid will be paid in blood, once the bad guys know its going to be give and take, with you doing your level best, they usually look for easier targets.

    ropelight (4d4672)

  19. All those wicked infidel girls who teased me in middle school will soon feel my righteous wrath, when Anwar and I are done with them, Inshallah!!! Anwar? Where are you? Anwar? Who’s that at the cave door?…..

    Azzam Al-Amerikee (6451eb)

  20. colonel will trade one
    Wynona for three Ashleys
    must be in good shape

    ColonelHaiku (a4b693)

  21. Well, there was always this advice for the bullied kid.

    The impressed Dana (3e4784)

  22. I still can’t see the pic, but now I have a nice mental image of Ashley Judd going. Thanks.

    carlitos (49ef9f)

  23. Wow, Dana.

    Dustin (b2fb78)

  24. carlitos

    dude, i checked my iphone and windows with internet explorer. i can see it. maybe its your machine.

    Aaron Worthing (e7d72e)

  25. I see the image (firefox).

    Dustin (b2fb78)

  26. Next?

    Mitch Rapp (255b30)

  27. My two mommies told me I’ll want my swantz and jewels chopped off eventually! Because of the partiarchy!!!

    Thomas "Tammy" Lobel (e7577d)

  28. Well, Baracky bullied me, and I’m going to tell Allah on him when I see him.

    Which will be soon, very soon.

    Anwar al-Awlaki (3e4784)

  29. What a great day-after-Rosh Hashanah present.

    Benjamin Netanyahu (3e4784)

  30. Why did you kill Al-Awlaki???

    Al-Awlakis momjeans (d54602)

  31. It’s easy to see
    Why Colonel prefers Ashley:
    Her sister is fat

    The Haiku Avenger (3e4784)

  32. Thank you, President Obama: you have given me a defense! I can’t possibly be prosecuted while traumatized at the passing of my spiritual advisor.

    Nidal Malik Hasan (3e4784)

  33. Pious, there is such a thing as a cheap shot, but there’s no such thing as fighting dirty if you’re defending yourself.

    I somewhat think that sort of experience is critical for kids to go through. There’s a point at which bullying is beyond the pale and adults should get involved, but usually I think it’s smaller kids who need to learn that they personally have to take responsibility for unfair situations if they want to be safe and happy in life.

    It would also be a good idea to learn guerilla waerfare tactics. As long as the guerilla maintains forces in the field, they can never lose.

    Michael Ejercito (64388b)

  34. Hitler did not consider himself a Jew he was more an ahteistic racist than anything else.

    DohBiden (d54602)


Powered by WordPress.

Page loaded in: 0.3291 secs.