Sockpuppet Friday—The “Mel is Trying too Hard” Edition
[Guest post by Aaron Worthing; if you have tips, please send them here. Or by Twitter @AaronWorthing.]
As usual, you are positively encouraged to engage in sockpuppetry in this thread. The usual rules apply.
Please, be sure to switch back to your regular handle when commenting on other threads. I have made that mistake myself.
And remember: the worst sin you can commit on this thread is not being funny.
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And for this week’s Friday frivolity I am begging and pleading with Mel Gibson. Just stop it. Seriously, stop:
Yeah, we can’t believe we’re reporting on this, either, but Mel Gibson — the oft-disgraced fallen star and Oscar-winning director of Braveheart and The Passion of the Christ infamous now for his anti-Semitic, racist and sexist ravings — is making an epic about Judah Maccabee, one of the greatest warriors in ancient Jewish history who routed the Seleucid Empire in the 2nd century BCE. Judah the Hammer’s liberation of Jerusalem and reconsecration of the Temple is celebrated in the Hanukkah holiday.
Deadline reports that Gibson is collaborating on the untitled epic with controversial Basic Instinct screenwriter Joe Eszterhas. The pic is set-up at Warner Bros., for whom Gibson made a slew of past films including the Mad Max and Lethal Weapon franchises to the recent Edge of Darkness.
So the guy who wrote the steaming pile of screenplay for Basic Instinct and Showgirls is going to help Mel Gibson write an epic about apparently one of the most badass Jews in human history.
You know it could be an awesome movie, but Mel, you are not the guy to make it, and Ezterhas is too much of a hack to write it.
Seriously, is Randall Wallace available for this one? Or Ridley Scott? Seriously at this point, I would settle for Uwe Boll, the only man on earth capable of making a sex scene involving Kristianna Loken (NSFW link) into pure (unintentional) hilarity.
[Posted and authored by Aaron Worthing.]
I wish someone would make a movie about the 1967 Six Day War.
aunursa (41236f) — 9/9/2011 @ 5:47 amPass this jobs bill … or else I’ll lose my job. And I’d rather be a mediocre two-term president than a mediocre one-term president.
BHO (41236f) — 9/9/2011 @ 5:51 amWell, of course, you always wonder what Mel Gibson’s take is going to be on this, but most other people wouldn’t do too good a job on this either.
I don’t know if there’s ever been a movie about this, but there is an opera:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Judas_Maccabaeus_%28Handel%29
Wait – there is a movie:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1hrj8bhG20
It’s apparently done is semi-documentary form.
And there’s another movie. A 1996 animation that’s apparently only very very loosely based on the facts.
Internet Movie Database links:
http://www.imdb.com/find?s=all&q=maccabees
Handel’s opera is much closer.
Sammy Finkelman (d3de3a) — 9/9/2011 @ 5:53 am1. Comment by aunursa — 9/9/2011 @ 5:47 am
I wish someone would make a movie about the 1967 Six Day War.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1033631/
Six Days in June (2007)
Six Days (original title)
UNRATED 105 min – Documentary
Budget: $750,000 (estimated)
Sammy Finkelman (d3de3a) — 9/9/2011 @ 5:57 amComment by Sammy Finkelman — 9/9/2011 @ 5:57 am
Thanks, I am aware of this documentary.
My wish is for a full-length feature movie that would be shown in theaters. With the controversy surrounding the subject matter, I expect that a well-made film would do well.
aunursa (41236f) — 9/9/2011 @ 6:25 amAll you joooooooooo lovers disgust us.
Stari and Chris (318f81) — 9/9/2011 @ 6:27 amThere maybe a little context to both Gibson, but specially Esterhasz’s decision:
http://www.amazon.com/Crossbearer-Memoir-Faith-Joe-Eszterhas/dp/031238596X
ian cormac (d69b60) — 9/9/2011 @ 7:01 amPass it. Please pass it. Pleeeeezz? Pass it. Pass it now. Pass. It. Pass it right now. PASS IT OR MY LIPS WILL TURN EVEN MORE PURPLE!!
President Barack H. Obama, Healer of Planets and Suppressor of Tides, holding my (admittedly awesome) breath (325a59) — 9/9/2011 @ 7:07 am“We’re gonna mock this clown, mock him inside out…”
Stray Cats, who didn't see President Downgrade comin (325a59) — 9/9/2011 @ 7:10 amSocial Security right now is pretty much a Ponzi scheme. That’s right, I said it.
Charles Ponzi (bf33e9) — 9/9/2011 @ 7:12 amWhat speech?
NBC Network Television Viewer (49ef9f) — 9/9/2011 @ 7:21 amBHO, you wish you were mediocre. Not even close.
Concerned U.S. Citizen (4864c2) — 9/9/2011 @ 8:21 amThat lying president with delusions of grandeur is really pissing me off! Telling tale tales and unbelievable bullshit is my copyright! If he keeps it up, I will hire Righthaven to sue his sox off!
Baron von Munchausen (5a3146) — 9/9/2011 @ 8:46 amI can’t wait for my upcoming Bali vacay and I just dare any of those tax-paying peons to complain.
Meechelle Obama (4864c2) — 9/9/2011 @ 8:59 amThe left are really getting brazen in their attacks on Bob Turner they are saying he wants to support tax loopholes for corporation………….god I hate the tax and spend ultra-left.
DohBiden (d54602) — 9/9/2011 @ 9:00 amWell, yeah, I really should be allowed back in the US. I mean, it’s not like I ever got drunk and called someone an ethnic slur or anything.
Roman Polanski (4c6c0c) — 9/9/2011 @ 9:08 amI hired Joe to write the screenplay because, after the string of flops he’s done, he works damn cheap, and no one else in Hollywood will work with me, being the Zionist Bastards they are!
Mad Max (7d0394) — 9/9/2011 @ 9:20 amThis Weiner ain’t kosher, mama!
Mayor Anthony Weiner (b2fb78) — 9/9/2011 @ 10:16 amYes, that ad, with the jet flying over the NYC skyline, what could go wrong.
david weprin (d69b60) — 9/9/2011 @ 10:18 amMel? What? He’s no bigot.
It’s that Herman Cain and you redneck teabaggers.
Racist J. Garofalo (341ca0) — 9/9/2011 @ 10:22 amDave, that ad was awesome! Kinda like a double memorial for 9/11 and an ad for another nanny slimeball politician!
For your next ad, have Osama McGruff the crime fighting dog take a bite out of a pentagon shaped ritz cracker!
And no firefighters. Gotta make room for the politicians.
Mayor Anthony Weiner Bloomberg (b2fb78) — 9/9/2011 @ 10:23 am“Steaming pile of screenplay?” What? Showgirls was awesome!
Former "Saved by the Bell" Viewer (49ef9f) — 9/9/2011 @ 10:25 amI’m so excited! And I just can’t hide it!
/jumps out the window, flapping arms to fly
/obscure?
Jesse (b2fb78) — 9/9/2011 @ 10:27 amAhh, but the strawberries that’s… that’s where I had them. They laughed at me and made jokes but I proved beyond the shadow of a doubt and with… geometric logic… that a duplicate key to the wardroom icebox DID exist, and I’d have produced that key if they hadn’t taken the Caine out of action. I, I, I know now they were only trying to protect some fellow officers…
Captain Queeg (6451eb) — 9/9/2011 @ 10:30 amSo, um… those two AKs… were they in addition to the one weapon I already … kinda sorta removed from the crime scene in the name of … ya know … justice?
BTW, I am sending this via email because I am literally the dumbest federal agent in American history.
Gun Walker, FBI Ranger (b2fb78) — 9/9/2011 @ 10:31 amLike, I’m also the guy who jammed an MP5 into Elian Gonzales’s face.
I also had the top score on Halo 2 for 30 minutes.
Gun Walker, FBI Ranger (b2fb78) — 9/9/2011 @ 10:38 amComma splice, comma splice! OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG.
Hilmouse (b2fb78) — 9/9/2011 @ 10:40 amOMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG!
Obama Must Go!
American Voters (0ebe78) — 9/9/2011 @ 11:21 amObama Must Go!
Obama Must Go!
Obama Must Go!
Obama Must Go!
Two Roman Catholics of dubious talent and reputation making a movie about one of the greatest warrior leaders in Jewish history . . . What could possibly go wrong?
Philm Phan (0ebe78) — 9/9/2011 @ 11:54 amI know this comment is not funny, but I’m a sockpuppet and I can say whatever I want.
A child in the household stumbled onto a film called “The Adventures of Ociee Nash” that is an instant download on Netflix. It is a very enjoyable film in the genre of “Little House on the Prairie”, set in 1890’s SE. FWIW, the film is based on the first of a 5 book series that we’re eager to looking into.
You may return to your otherwise scheduled sock-puppetting…
a sockpuppet (3d3f72) — 9/9/2011 @ 12:28 pmMy opponent this week drafted Peyton Manning and David Garrard as his two QBs…….
Excited fantasy owner (b456eb) — 9/9/2011 @ 12:46 pmThe Palinator jacked up tax rates on oil companies by like a thousand percent, and then had the gall to spend the takings on state services within a balanced budget. The Commie!
EeePeeDoubleYouJay (0ebe78) — 9/9/2011 @ 1:06 pmI’m surprised she didn’t deport all the suits to Magadan – I would have, and did.
Uncle Joe (7d0394) — 9/9/2011 @ 1:09 pmScozzafava is my messiah. And if you have a problem with the tax and spenders who endorsed her you hate america.
Btw meany turner wants to do away with SS.
EPWJ (d54602) — 9/9/2011 @ 1:24 pmI’m not only the founder of the hair club for men, Joe Biden’s a client.
Abraham Lincoln Logs (b2fb78) — 9/9/2011 @ 1:34 pmOMG! Mel Gibson is the most fabulous MAN that I have ever worked with!
Jodie Foster (6451eb) — 9/9/2011 @ 2:01 pmYou know it could be an awesome movie, but Mel, you are not the guy to make it, and Ezterhas is too much of a hack to write it.
Aaron, do you really think you are the right person to tell Mel Gibson about who, how, when or where to make a movie?
Remember, the point is to make money and Mel seems pretty smart in this one dimension. I mean, just saying. Regardless of his anti-semitic nonsense.
S. Carter aka J-Z (8d652e) — 9/9/2011 @ 3:06 pmMy movie is coming to a theatre near YOU! Then to New Hampshire, Aaron, we’re playing it to South Carolina and Oklahoma And Arizona.. And North Dakota And New Mexico! We’re going to have a matinee in California and Texas and New York! And we’re going to show sneak previews in South Dakota and Oregon and Washington and Michigan! And then we’re going to Washington D.C. where the jooos control the world and we’ll show it to them! YEAAAAAGGH!!!!!
Mel Gibson (b2fb78) — 9/9/2011 @ 3:12 pmSammy Finkelman: Handel’s Judas Maccabeus is an oratorio, not an opera. No costumes, no stage, no action, just music and singing.
It was immensely popular with the Jews of London, who came to hear it again and again. It was the first work of popular entertainment which had Jews as the heroes.
Rich Rostrom (be9815) — 9/9/2011 @ 3:12 pmCan I get Kristianna Loken’s twitter. Even though she’s a little old for me, over 17 that is, I would like to tweet my weiner to her.
Anthony Weiner (ee1de0) — 9/9/2011 @ 5:10 pmHow dare we cut school funding………………..honestly let the government fund these public schools.
DohBiden (d54602) — 9/20/2011 @ 3:15 pmIsrael has every right to defend itself………….religion has nothing to do with Israel defending itself.
DohBiden (d54602) — 9/20/2011 @ 3:18 pm