Patterico's Pontifications

9/9/2011

Obama Jobs Speech, or, My Proposal to Buy Me a Shiny New Car

Filed under: General — Patterico @ 6:58 am

I just presented my wife with a proposal that I buy me a shiny new car I can’t afford. I asked her if she is going to put family first and approve my proposal now.

It is a bipartisan proposal, even though she doesn’t agree with it, because the word bipartisan sounds good.

And it won’t cost us a cent, because my proposal pays for the car, through unspecified cuts in the “out years.”

One of my bipartisan proposals to pay for my shiny new car includes my wife taking on a second job and not spending any money on new clothes.

She’s not buying my proposal. In fact, there is no such proposal. I made it up for rhetorical purposes. Not that I’m that enamored of my 11-year-old car with 130,000 miles. Here’s the problem. I’m not going to do something we can’t afford and justify it with phony arguments and lies.

Read that last sentence out loud three times, Mr. President.

Sounded nice, huh?

That would have been a better speech.

Sockpuppet Friday—The “Mel is Trying too Hard” Edition

Filed under: General — Aaron Worthing @ 6:55 am

[Guest post by Aaron Worthing; if you have tips, please send them here.  Or by Twitter @AaronWorthing.]

As usual, you are positively encouraged to engage in sockpuppetry in this thread. The usual rules apply.

Please, be sure to switch back to your regular handle when commenting on other threads. I have made that mistake myself.

And remember: the worst sin you can commit on this thread is not being funny.

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And for this week’s Friday frivolity I am begging and pleading with Mel Gibson.  Just stop it.  Seriously, stop:

Yeah, we can’t believe we’re reporting on this, either, but Mel Gibson — the oft-disgraced fallen star and Oscar-winning director of Braveheart and The Passion of the Christ infamous now for his anti-Semitic, racist and sexist ravings — is making an epic about Judah Maccabee, one of the greatest warriors in ancient Jewish history who routed the Seleucid Empire in the 2nd century BCE. Judah the Hammer’s liberation of Jerusalem and reconsecration of the Temple is celebrated in the Hanukkah holiday.

Deadline reports that Gibson is collaborating on the untitled epic with controversial Basic Instinct screenwriter Joe Eszterhas. The pic is set-up at Warner Bros., for whom Gibson made a slew of past films including the Mad Max and Lethal Weapon franchises to the recent Edge of Darkness.

So the guy who wrote the steaming pile of screenplay for Basic Instinct and Showgirls is going to help Mel Gibson write an epic about apparently one of the most badass Jews in human history.

You know it could be an awesome movie, but Mel, you are not the guy to make it, and Ezterhas is too much of a hack to write it.

Seriously, is Randall Wallace available for this one?  Or Ridley Scott?  Seriously at this point, I would settle for Uwe Boll, the only man on earth capable of making a sex scene involving Kristianna Loken (NSFW link) into pure (unintentional) hilarity.

[Posted and authored by Aaron Worthing.]


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