Patterico's Pontifications


Where Is Amish Tech Support When You Need Them? (Update: Amish Sexting, too?)

Filed under: General — Aaron Worthing @ 12:22 pm

[Guest post by Aaron Worthing; if you have tips, please send them here.  Or by Twitter @AaronWorthing.]

Update: Via Daniel Riehl, I have an update.  See below.

Surely you have noticed before that this site has gotten a lot of spam.  It seems to have kicked up recently (and I do appreciate it when you guys help me find it).  I try to keep on top of it, mainly by blacklisting the website they are promoting.  And I certainly don’t like to highlight spam.

But I am going to make an exception with this one.  Mind you, this comes from a post jokingly giving us Obama’s new Motto and it has the usual boilerplate language that sounds like it was written in Japanese originally:

Hardly ever do I encounter a weblog that’s both educated and entertaining, and let me tell you, you’ve hit the nail on the head. Your idea is excellent; the issue is something that not enough individuals are talking intelligently about. I’m very comfortable that I stumbled across this in my quest for something regarding this.

And then it follows with a fake name and a link to a commercial site (I did delete the link).  But here’s the kicker.  Look at the signature:

amish lancaster county

That’s right.  Apparently, the Amish are giving us spam, now.

And sadly Amish Tech Support appears to have gone dark.  So what do we do?

Update: I am a little surprised to have an update on this, but…  not only are the Amish spamming, but they are sexting, too.  Only it’s about to get less funny:

The Smoking Gun reports that a 21-year-old Amish man was arrested last week during an undercover sting operation when he tried to meet with a 12-year-old girl.

[Willard] Yoder arrived to a Milford, Indiana restaurant via horse and buggy and was arrested for sending nearly 600 sexts, nude photos and explicit videos to the girl he planned to meet, per ABC News.

Yoder apparently did not know the girl and contacted her “by chance,” but according to the Connersville Police Department report, Yoder believed the girl to be 13-years-old, thought they would have sex, and repeatedly asked for nude photos.

Det. Craig Pennington told ABC News, “He just punched a number, hoping for a reply. If that is true, that’s kind of scary because I’m sure that’s not the first time that ever happened.”

Yoder is facing four felony charges for allegedly soliciting sex from an underage girl, reports The Smoking Gun who have a mug shot of the accused, as well as the full police report.

Now the Smoking Gun has recently been jerks toward a certain person involved in the Weinergate controversy and to my knowledge they have not apologized, so no links for them.  But I admit I found this part of story at their site interesting:

Yoder’s contact with the girl began with a random text sent to her phone. When the child’s parents learned of their daughter’s contact with Yoder, they took control of her phone and continued communicating with Yoder, who sent about 600 texts, as well as nude photos and explicit videos to the girl.

Which makes these parents good parents.  You have to monitor your kids’ cell phones, because there are a lot of perverts out there.  Including, apparently the Amish.

Also, I wonder if he is related to the respondants in Wisconsin v. Yoder, where the Supreme Court said that Amish kids could not be forced go to school beyond middle school on religious freedom grounds?

[Posted and authored by Aaron Worthing.]

18 Responses to “Where Is Amish Tech Support When You Need Them? (Update: Amish Sexting, too?)”

  1. And sadly Amish Tech Support appears to have gone dark. So what do we do?

    Try contacting them during the day? Of course they’re going to “go dark” after nightfall, they’re Amish!

    malclave (4f3ec1)

  2. They must be short of oats, causing the donkey attached to the generator to slow down, causing a brown-out.

    AD-RtR/OS! (999ead)

  3. I live in Lancaster County. I’ve seen Amish weed wacking, using acetylene torches, getting their girlfriends home at 3am, and giving tourists phony directions – but never spamming.

    Amphipolis (b120ce)

  4. against all odds there is an update to the amish tech support story…


    Aaron Worthing (e7d72e)

  5. Det. Craig Pennington told ABC News, “He just punched a number, hoping for a reply. If that is true, that’s kind of scary because I’m sure that’s not the first time that ever happened.”

    Yoder is facing four felony charges for allegedly soliciting sex from an underage girl, reports The Smoking Gun who have a mug shot of the accused, as well as the full police report.

    So they probably will look into this guy’s phone records to see who else he contacted and investigate him pretty thoroughly? I guess that’s what happens if you aren’t a popular democrat congressman.

    And yeah, the parents in this case sure seem like good ones as compared to the ones who… oh wait, those ones didn’t exist.

    Dustin (c16eca)

  6. Apparently fame on the internet is even more fleeting than in the ‘real world’. Laurence Simon’s ‘Amish Tech Support’ was once quite a well-known blog – Top 50 for sure. He has since moved to This Blog is Full of Crap, and explains why he moved here. I guess on the Web, everyone is famous for three or four minutes.

    Dr. Weevil (e63fd1)

  7. here’s a picture of willard

    he looks like he might could have a bad case of the simples

    happyfeet (a55ba0)

  8. Amish have been known to participate in surprisingly untraditional forms of depravity. I have never forgotten the late ’90s story of the Amish cocaine dealers, Abner Stoltzfus and Abner K. Stoltzfus, “no relation”. I believe the Amish share a relatively small number of last names that are rare among the non-Amish, so two Amish Yoders are no more likely to be related than two Stoltzfuses. You can read about the latter here.

    Dr. Weevil (e63fd1)

  9. I got spam yesterday from someone with an east Indian name offering writing services for my web site.

    And, yes, the letter was written in that formal, wordy, effusive Indian Business English that a comic might mock. I could picture the guy bowing as I read it.

    Can you imagine outsourcing your business marketing writing to someone with an overseas twang? It was nuts.

    koam (f74c33)

  10. What goes “Clop clop bang bang clop clop”?

    An Amish driveby shooting.

    tomhynes (9c8ef3)

  11. I asked an Indian doctor I met on a medical history trip to read my manuscript, or at least that part pertaining to India and let me know if I had any howlers in there. He kindly returned the copy of the manuscript correcting every American usage difference from English usage.

    I thanked him, assuming my chapter on India was otherwise correct. I didn’t mention the grammar thing

    Mike K (8f3f19)

  12. I kind of take the tack that the Amish are generally good people who try to deal with modern problems as the rest of us do.

    That can be said about most religious or non-religious people.

    Ag80 (391f9a)

  13. I seem to recall that Amish Tech Support was the product of Laurence Simon, who now blogs at This Blog Is Full Of Crap.

    Russ (91df94)

  14. Retired ATS.
    I mostly Tweet and do 100 word stories now.


    Laurence Simon (866fde)

  15. On “Only in America” with Larry the Cable Guy, he had a segment about the Amish. He said that everyone seemed to be named either Levi or Yoder. If I had not already read this, I wouldn’t have realized the significance of his remark.

    PatAZ (6506bb)

  16. Laurence

    wait, does that mean you can help us with this problem? :-)

    (Obviously the ATS stuff is just a comic riff.)


    I am sure the amish are no better or worse than us. i just didn’t figure many of them would be sexting–i assumed they would be doing other perverts stuff with lower tech.

    Aaron Worthing (e7d72e)

  17. Well written article!
    I just want to know whether Amish Tech Support is genuine or spam.

    Samuel Jefferson (945c08)

  18. Excellent read, I really like your style.

    Obviously there is no amish tech support, silly :)

    Online Tech Support (bc0d78)

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