Patterico's Pontifications

5/6/2011

Sockpuppet Friday—the Hulk v. Thor Edition!

Filed under: General — Aaron Worthing @ 8:15 am



[Guest post by Aaron Worthing; if you have tips, please send them here.  Or by Twitter @AaronWorthing.]

Update: Also, don’t hesitate to tell your favorite bin Laden death joke! I think it was Confederate Yankee who said that the first thing bin Laden said when he got to Hell was, “why are all virgins clones of Steve Carell?”

As usual, you are positively encouraged to engage in sock puppetry in this thread. The usual rules apply.

Please, be sure to switch back to your regular handle when commenting on other threads. I have made that mistake myself, a lot.

And remember: the worst sin you can commit on this thread is not being funny.

——————————

And for this week’s Friday frivolity, as you know the big superhero movie Thor releases today.  Metacritic is giving it mixed reviews.  IGN, one of my favorite entertainment sites, liked it:

Of course, this is part of Marvel’s plan to slowly put together an Avengers movie, which is all good with me and IGN makes the interesting case that this is not a safe-bet movie.

But one thing is for sure.  This Thor has to be better than, well…  this:

That is from a retrospective on how Thor has appeared on TV—and frankly it has largely been pretty bad.

[Posted and authored by Aaron Worthing.]

93 Responses to “Sockpuppet Friday—the Hulk v. Thor Edition!”

  1. Dis webbsitte are owsome, kip on de gud wok

    Trig P. (0692b1)

  2. this is one of them movies where every problem looks like a nail I think

    happyfeet (25c55e)

  3. I demand royalties, Thor.

    God knows I need them.

    M. C. Hammer (890cbf)

  4. i think someone is making fun of trig, but um, if Trig was 3 years old and typing, that would actually be kind of impressive.

    Aaron Worthing (b1db52)

  5. do you know who the f*ck i’am?

    MeganMcCain (15aa57)

  6. Not tonight, Hulk, I’m still thor from last night’s sex.

    Switch Hitter (848837)

  7. Making fun of a Down Syndrome toddler is the pinnacle of class.

    JD (0d2ffc)

  8. Oh, ‘Ha-Ha’ you guys. Jokes already?

    “The Osama bin Laden Cocktail: Two shots and a splash…”

    I don’t even drink!!

    Osama bin Laden (Ex) (da8a79)

  9. I would like to apologize to everyone. I followed Lee over here from his work at Breitbart’s and assumed because they were pillowcase and sheet wearing racists over there, that you people would be too. It turns out that I was right in my assumptions, but I do apologize for having leapt to same too quickly. It did not take long for you to prove my assumptions correct, and for that I thank you. Your love of torture, killbots, bigotry and sexism is only exceeded by your hatred of brown skinned people. May Gaia have mercy on your soul.

    big median (85b089)

  10. Fun for the whole family at my office the rest of the weekend. I’ll show you all how to use a baseball bat properly. Don’t forget this is BYOB, for bring your own bat. Oh and any house workers who feel they have been exploited by thier employers, please to contact me after the show. I can win you big money or at least try and destroy thier careers for you.

    Gloria Allred (84ebcd)

  11. Comment by big median — 5/6/2011 @ 9:24 am

    Is this a sockpuppet or for real? I can’t tell?

    aunursa (a2a019)

  12. The American dogs and seals have at last given Osama the martyrdom he so energetically sought for the last six years in his living room.

    أيمن محمد ربيع الظواهري‎ (0b933c)

  13. My website is teh awesome, and my brilliance is undeniable. Someday I’ll actually prove the former statement—just not today!

    kfap (e7577d)

  14. It’s probably real.

    DohBiden (15aa57)

  15. Yahoo! wants you to understand that the horrifically bad American economy is not our whorish ghetto trash presidick’s fault nope not at all

    happyfeet (a55ba0)

  16. Comment by Gloria Allred — 5/6/2011 @ 9:32 am

    Get away from us. Now.

    traumatized 10-year-old girls everywhere (325a59)

  17. Dis webbsitte are owsome, kip on de gud wok

    Comment by Trig P. — 5/6/2011 @ 8:30 am

    Thank you Trig. You just had your third birthday, right? Very nice job, and keep working on the spelling!

    Patterico's Pontifications, a blog which knows how all-around stupid people who make fun of the disabled are (325a59)

  18. Is there an old man in a floppy-brim hat and an eye-patch hanging around? He may be traveling with a large raven…

    Bigfoot (8096f2)

  19. I had to cancel my Ground Zero speech because the dumb-as-a-rock wingnut Bush decided not to show up to hear me bash him to his face while he had to sit there taking it.

    I was so mad I missed two of my putts today.

    President Barack H. Obama, (still potential) Healer of Planets and Suppressor of Tides, just you wait though (325a59)

  20. Condoleezza Rice did NOT show me up this week. DIDNOTDIDNOTDIDNOT!

    Lawrence "mow em down with continuous interruptions" O'Donnell (325a59)

  21. Uh oh, better set up the White House sofa with a pillow and bedsheet on it. The President will be sleeping there for a night or two…

    White House Staff (b1db52)

  22. Lawrence “mow em down with continuous interruptions” O’Donnell

    Tell me about it. There were more seconds when he interviewed me in between his interruptions than between Michael Moore’s snack times.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRJ1oyhTZAQ

    Peter Schiff (325a59)

  23. Hispanic politicians, Hispanic Americans serving in the Obama administration, and members of a commission on exploring the creating of a new national museum of the American Latino were among those in attendance.

    we need a national museum of the American Latino like Osama bin Laden needs a hole in the head

    happyfeet (a55ba0)

  24. Who are you? WHO ARE YOU? I don’t know who you are! Get a job and stop attacking poor people, you typical white person!

    Al Pires, sittin' on a cool 10 million (325a59)

  25. Gloria,

    Please stop.

    We’re getting orders now from The Pleasure Chest on Melrose. Whatever that is.

    Hillerich & Bradsby, makers of Louisvill Slugger bats. (890cbf)

  26. Laurence sure did smack that uppity Uncle Thomasita back into her place. She should stick to her intellectual peers like Shrub and that tard Palin. Trying to swim in the big kids pool did not work out so well for her. MSNBC was kind enough to cut to a commercial and save her any further embarrassment.

    big median (b98cae)

  27. Friends,

    I just created a petition entitled Give credit where it’s due! Award President Obama $25 million reward for killing Osama Bin Laden!!!, because I care deeply about this very important issue.

    I’m trying to collect 100 signatures, and I could really use your help.

    To read more about what I’m trying to do and to sign my petition, click here:
    http://www.change.org/petitions/give-credit-where-its-due-award-president-obama-25-million-reward-for-killing-osama-bin-laden?share_id=NCgPTTeVfH&pe=d2e

    It’ll just take a minute!

    Once you’re done, please ask your friends to sign the petition as well. Grassroots movements succeed because people like you are willing to spread the word!

    Barbara

    Let's do it! (b17ae1)

  28. let’s do it?

    um, no, how about we give it to the interrogators who waterboarded KSM.

    Aaron Worthing (b1db52)

  29. Comment by Let’s do it! — 5/6/2011 @ 11:57 am

    For the first time in my adult life, I am proud of this blog.

    First Lady Michelle Obama, already planning what to buy with the $25 mil (325a59)

  30. Is today wingnut prove you are a KKK loving racist day?

    big median (29e1cd)

  31. Hey everybody, look at how stoopid Donald Trump is! Look at that mop on his head! Look at this video of the Lion King mocking all you teabagging wingnutz! Look at memememe making fun of Donald Trump remodeling the White House!

    Hahahahaha! Aren’t I funny? Come on media guys, you can clap louder for ME!

    Barack Obama, the epitome of proper U.S. presidential mien and demeanor (325a59)

  32. Well, as you’ve known for a long time but we’re just beginning to learn, a bunch of teenagers understand better than the entire left how much he cared about us that day.

    the kids who were actually in the room when Dubya heard the news on 9/11 (325a59)

  33. Say, maybe if I wear a really nice tie today, no one will notice how much in over my head I am.

    Jay Carney (325a59)

  34. Is today Big Median is a tardlett day.

    DohBiden (15aa57)

  35. We don’t really exist. Oh, and you’re welcome.

    Navy SEALS Team Six (325a59)

  36. We don’t really exist.

    Oh really? Just wait till I’m done with ya.

    Joe "Silvertongue" Biden (325a59)

  37. May it please the Court, Your Honor, take a few seconds out from your prurient self abuse and hear my legitimate and fully documented evidence of the multiple injustices unfairly inflicted on me which I’ve suffered valiantly in silence for far too long.

    If the court finds my complaints without merit, I agree to withdraw forthwith any and all my petitions and accept the Court’s decision without so much as a discouragin’ word, or a peep of discontent.

    Cyrus Sanai (a82fa2)

  38. She should stick to her intellectual peers like Shrub and that tard Palin.

    No hate here, no sir. Not a bit.

    The Superhero who has yet to have a movie (db5856)

  39. Say, didja hear about all the new stuff we’re finding every day on bin Laden’s computers? Didja didja huh huh huh? Let us tell you all the details so you can praise us more!

    The Obama "'Loose Lips Sink Ships' is obviously code for a racist slur" administration (325a59)

  40. Waterboarding can be hazardous to your health. Look at Osama Bin Laden on Monday morning. After the funeral, he was waterboarded once–and didn’t come back.

    Darth Cheney (0e06a9)

  41. No hate here, no sir. Not a bit.

    Comment by The Superhero who has yet to have a movie — 5/6/2011 @ 12:43 pm

    That post was a sockpuppet. It was sarcasm. How many times do I have to keep explaining this to you?

    DohBiden, generously restatin' the obvious for anyone who might need it (325a59)

  42. Honey? It’s so nice out. Let’s go waterboarding this weekend!

    your average overworked American, doing the work of two laid-off people, with no time for political blogs (325a59)

  43. Littering is bad, bad, bad, and polluting the ocean seas is worse than driving an SUV.

    So, the Navy guys who dumped that corpse overboard can just go back and pick up their trash, and George W Bush should pay for the clean-up costs, it’s all his fault.

    Cyrus Sanai (a82fa2)

  44. If Cindy Sheehan doesn’t stop using my name I’ll exercise all my legal options.

    Cyrus Sanai (a82fa2)

  45. I’ve never seen Cyrus Sanai and Charlie Sheen at the same place at the same time.

    Just sayin’

    SPQR (26be8b)

  46. Boy! Our al-Qaeda #2 man really did a #2 when he heard about bin Laden’s death.

    Al-Qaeda #3 Man (848837)

  47. F–k. This is all I needed.

    [Don’t curse. Curse words are filtered out. I edited it to eliminate the F word. –Aaron]

    Prince Namur of Atlantis (2167a4)

  48. “Swear out arrest warrants for those guys who did the shootup in Abbotadad!”

    Att'y Gen. Eric Holder (848837)

  49. WegottacongratulatethePresidentforthefine jobhedidinPakistan.SealswerethereofcoursebutasweallknowObamaistheman.

    Debbiewassermanschultz (848837)

  50. #45:

    Winning! Duh.

    Cyrus Estevez Sheen-Sanai (890cbf)

  51. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

    Hairplugs Biden (e7577d)

  52. It’s such a turn on when I get A.W. to argue with me. Sometimes I am breathless in anticipation of the next one.

    kman (81cf34)

  53. What about us?

    The other 2,950 families not invited to Obama's photo op at Ground Zero (81cf34)

  54. What about us?

    Comment by The other 2,950 families not invited to Obama’s photo op at Ground Zero — 5/6/2011 @ 1:48 pm

    Are you kidding? I just need enough for a nice photo op. I’m not gonna stand in line talking to all you people. Let me be clear; it’s time for you to get over it, already. It’s not like you lost ME or anything!

    President Barack H. Obama, Healer of Wounds (325a59)

  55. That was just shocking. What? It was only Leon Panetta? Never mind.

    Hillary Clinton (81cf34)

  56. And so ends the worst, most unsuccessful, most embarrassing week in Obummer’s presidency so far. A total disaster ranking right up down there with Jimmy Carter. Will he ever recover? Don’t make me laugh.

    The Clueless Conservative (5576bf)

  57. I saw it last night. It’s good for a comic book movie.

    My standards:

    #1 — Ironman, the best comic book movie.
    ===
    #2 — Spiderman I, the two recent Batman/Dark Knight movies (Christopher Bale)
    ===
    #3 — Most of the rest of the Marvel movies (except Punisher, both Hulks, Elektra, and Ghostrider), The first two Burton ‘Batman’ movies, and the first two Reeve Superman movies
    ===
    #4 — All DC-based movies except DK that I’ve seen (no idea about Jonah Hex), Green Hornet
    ===
    #5 — Both Hulks, and the other bad marvels. The latest Superman, and the final two Superman and Batman movies of the 80s & 90s

    ===================================
    I reserve the right to change/alter the above with CBMs (comic-book-movies) I haven’t thought about as being CBMs.

    =================================================
    Now, having provided a standards bar,

    THOR rates at the top end of class #3

    The story isn’t deep or complex, there are no massive surprises (though you should find the post-credits ending scene…. “interesting”), but it’s a good, entertaining bit of comic-book storytelling, well-executed and adequately acted for an action-oriented comic book-turned-movie. The characters are engaging and likeable, even the villain/nemesis isn’t deeply evil (at this point, anyway) but a flawed God whose actions one can understand though not support.

    I’d suggest that the following are worthy of note:

    1) The guy playing Thor, Hemsworth — good job. Arrogantly godlike but not over-the-top comically so. Natalie Portman, well, she’s always pretty good as an actress, even though the material she’s given doesn’t give her quite the same level of justification most material would give her, she plays it as well as you could expect.

    2) Kenneth Brannagh. This is the kind of “big” story he’d do well with (and does), considering his Shakespearean background. Giant stories of Titans and Gods and such, with fairly “uncomplex” moral and ethical bases.

    3) J. Michael Straczynski as one of the original story authors. This is the guy behind Babylon 5, and, by some accounts, the genesis of ST:DS9 (JMS originally proposed a station-based setting for the followup to ST:TNG, and provided them with an extensive workup of his concept for it, including character breakdowns and story arcs. At least some of the characters in DS9 strongly resemble those of his breakdown)

    IgotBupkis, President, United Anarchist Society (c9dcd8)


  58. It’s not like you lost ME or anything!

    Dude, we LOVED you, we weren’t going to take you out! No way!

    You were the best thing that ever happened to our cause! Hell, we didn’t even have to ask, and you did everything you could to help us destroy America! Cripes, you made *ME* look like a useless panty-waist with your efforts!

    I am in AWE of you, Sir!

    The Ghost of Osama (c9dcd8)

  59. True, plus Rene Russo, is in it, although she’s not as ubiquitous as Portman is now,

    narciso (79ddc3)

  60. And so ends the worst, most unsuccessful, most embarrassing week in Obummer’s presidency so far. A total disaster ranking right up down there with Jimmy Carter. Will he ever recover? Don’t make me laugh.

    Comment by The Clueless Conservative —

    You might as well give Nixon credit for the moon landing.

    Dustin (c16eca)

  61. Hey clueless conservative! You should follow my lead. Be witty. Cutting. Humourous. Show how superior you are to the wingnuts.

    big median (b98cae)

  62. No i’d rather not have sex with a blowup doll.

    And clueless dumbshat might as well hold bush responsible for 9-11.

    DohBiden (15aa57)

  63. He was.

    Cindy Sheehan (325a59)

  64. IN THE INTERNATIONAL CROMINAL COURT OF THE WORLD

    IN THE MATTER OF: THE WHOLE OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, PRESIDENT BARACK HUSSIEN OBAMA, SEAL TEAM DEVEVELOPMENT GROUP, SECRETARY ROBERT GATES, VICE PRESIDENT JOE BIDEN, AND THE REST OF THE AMERICAN GOVERNMENT

    VS.

    THE ESTATE OF USAMA BIN LADEN, THE COURT OF WORLD OPINION, AND EUROPEAN DHIMMITUTDE

    YOU ARE HEAR BY INFORMED TO REPORT NO LATER THEN 12PM +1UTC TO THE ICC IN THE HAGUE TO FACE CRIMINAL PROCEEDINGS FOR THE ILLEGAL KILLING OF HOPE AND CHANGE, USAMA BIN LADEN, AND THE ILLEGAL ENCROCHMENT INTO THE SOVERIGEN TERRITORY OF PAKISTAN.

    The International Criminal Court (4f8b94)

  65. COME ON. IT’LL BE FUN.

    The Wallace and Grominal Court (325a59)

  66. It’s such a turn on when I get A.W. to argue with me. Sometimes I am breathless in anticipation of the next one.

    Comment by kman

    Verily, Kman, you are a master of bating. Your breath.

    Not Aaron (890cbf)

  67. I am solicting for any house workers or home employees for the following individuals to come out and tell me your sorry stories infront of press cameras:
    Jack Hillerich
    Bud Selig
    Any of the owners of the Atlanta Braves
    Herman Cain
    Donald Trump
    Rick Santorum
    or anyone else with an “R” political affiliation or associated with Major League Baseball.

    I can promise you $$$$$. Please swing by my office and fill out the handy questionnaire. Drop the questionnaire in the box and you too might also get a chance to win a paid trip to Hawaii as well.

    Oh and again don’t forget all weekend is my bat show.

    Gloria Allred (4f8b94)

  68. Oh Gloria, you know G-L-O-R-I-A..

    Still using that bat, bitch? Really adored that knobby, did ya’?

    JP (c4988c)

  69. I’ll be back!!

    Osama been dying (0702a3)

  70. I’ll be back!!

    Like hell you will.

    DohBiden (15aa57)

  71. First round is on Osama at the bar!

    Saddam, Adolf, and Carlos the Jackal, (4f8b94)

  72. They told me if I shut up, this whole thing will just go away..

    Osama been wondering (b64d39)

  73. F*ck you sideways Osama.

    DohBiden (15aa57)

  74. Where are my 72 virgins? And whats he doing in my room?….

    Osama been Asking (c5cd61)

  75. Gloria, you’re always on the run now.
    Running after somebody, you gotta get him somehow.
    I think you’ve got to slow down before you start to blow it.
    I think you’re headed for a breakdown, so be careful not to show it.

    Laura Branigan (890cbf)

  76. Oh Osama! I have been waiting for you. Do you know how to squeel like a pig?

    Saddam (4f8b94)

  77. Oh come on Obambi, pick the damn phone!!!

    Osama been dialing Obama (6409a0)

  78. @Saddam, in your dreams…

    Osama been Asking (3489d0)

  79. Osama, Osama, I have been dreaming of this every since Satan shot me down after that little kid from Colorado prevented me from taking over Hell.

    Saddam (4f8b94)

  80. It’s just not fair! I demand justice!!

    Osama been robbed of his 72 virgins! (b82ba7)

  81. Hey! Osama Bin laden is here! Somebody start up the the theme song to Deliverance!!

    72 virgin male pigs in Hell (ba7756)

  82. Breaking.

    I’m releasing photographic evidence that Osama Bin Laden is dead:

    SPLASH!

    ∅butthead (e7577d)

  83. Now what do we have here……..

    Satan himself (c5cd61)

  84. Referring to Satan as “himself” is pretty sexist, you evil patriatchical @$$hat!

    Amanda Marcotte (e7577d)

  85. F*ck you sideways Osama.

    Comment by DohBiden — 5/6/2011 @ 3:53 pm

    I would have loved to but this f*cking seals blew my ass right off!

    Osama been Whining (6409a0)

  86. These aren’t the SEALS your looking for.

    The Development Group (4f8b94)

  87. Hey Osama, here, you report to me. Understood? I run this shit…

    Satan himself (1ccd3c)

  88. Yea! What by sweet-baboo said! He runs this place.

    Saddam (4f8b94)

  89. Amanda Marcotte the only way i’d have sex with you is if you put roofies in my Cream Soda.

    DohBiden (15aa57)

  90. Hey does anyone know an easy way to keep from getting splinters or losing a bat as I swing it around? Oh and what is this pitch stuff that all the pro bat men use and where can I get some?

    Gloria Allred (4f8b94)

  91. Who’d would have thought that a President could make war popular. How did you do it O?

    W (aa856e)

  92. You know that “motivational” poster with Picard with his face in his hand? Yeah, that one.

    That’s my life. Not for much longer, though. I’m done with this world of putzi.

    Robert Gates (6134b7)

  93. You’re all idiots,…and…and, RACISTS. Did I mention you’re studpid?

    ∅jfap (e7577d)


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