Patterico's Pontifications

4/29/2011

Sockpuppet Friday—The Bill Maher is Pwned Edition!

Filed under: General — Aaron Worthing @ 12:35 pm

[Guest post by Aaron Worthing; if you have tips, please send them here.  Or by Twitter @AaronWorthing.]

As usual, you are positively encouraged to engage in sock puppetry in this thread. The usual rules apply.

Please, be sure to switch back to your regular handle when commenting on other threads. I have made that mistake myself, a lot.

And remember: the worst sin you can commit on this thread is not being funny.

————–

And for this week’s Friday frivolity, we have the Bill Maher accusing the Onion of ripping him off and getting pwned* in the process.  But I will put it under the fold, because some of the jokes are mildly not safe for work.

You see the Onion put out a tweet about the Birth Certificate story that said, “Afterbirthers Demand To See Obama’s Placenta.  http://onion.com/aIsqbH

So Maher tweeted, “I see The Onion stole my placenta joke that I did in Feb 2010 HBO special.”

Which prompted Joe Garden of the Onion to reply, hilariously: “Bill? We don’t watch your show. And check the date. http://onion.com/ipQ9hn”  And if you follow the link, you get to an article that they originally posted in August of 2009.  They just linked back to it because it was suddenly relevant again.  So in fact, if anyone was stealing anyone’s joke, it was Maher.

But it gets even funnier than that.  Daniel Tosh of Tosh.0 decides to jump in, writing:

calm down @billmaher plagiarism happens a lot. for example, you said “Life starts at the erection” a year after I told that joke on my show

Heh.  Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy.

Of course it would be hypocritical not to admit that pretty much this whole Friday frivolity was cribbed from John Hudson.

————————–

* “pwned” is nerd slang for “owned.”  It was based on the fact that a video game (I think it was World of Warcraft) had a typo in the term “owned” where the author apparently accidentally hit the p key instead of the o key.

[Posted and authored by Aaron Worthing.]

70 Responses to “Sockpuppet Friday—The Bill Maher is Pwned Edition!”

  1. Butbutbutbut…I’m still funny! SARAHPALINISADUMBTWATLOOKIEATTHETEABAGGERSCHRISTIANSAREREDNECKSANDANYONEWHOBELIEVESINGODISANIDIOT!!

    *looks around* *crickets*

    WAAAAAAHHHHHH!

    Bill "I'm relevant n cool n stuff cuz I use profanity about conservatives" Maher (325a59)

  2. Did you folks see my presser this week about the crowning achievement of my presidency? I released a birth certificate! I’m so proud of me! Didn’t I look happier than I have in months?

    President Barack H. Obama, (Still Potential) Healer of Planets and Suppressor of Tides, just you wait though (325a59)

  3. Man, I sure wish you hadn’t snubbed that Gordon guy, Barack. TOLD you you should’ve given that stupid queen a real present. You and I could be taking a carriage ride around London right now.

    Sayyyy. You think we could still call ’em and ask to borrow it? We could fly over this afternoon! They’re not using it anymore, right? We deserve it!

    First Lady Michelle Obama, in a carpet-floral-design robe and slippers, munching popcorn and watching BBC (325a59)

  4. You know what Obama has? Integrative complexity! So shut up, you teabagging wingnutz — he’s just too smart for you.

    Dana Milbank (325a59)

  5. Oh really? Well, all we can say to that is, it doesn’t take us three years to get a birth certificate together when we need it.

    The teabagging wingnutz (325a59)

  6. Why does everyone make me look like a fool, just because I’m short, ugly and unfunny? Maybe I should have said; try to make me look like a fool.

    Bill Maher (81cf34)

  7. “Integrative complexity?” Schyeah.

    Obama acted stupidly. We demand a cotton-candy summit!

    Carnival Barkers (325a59)

  8. See, I have proven I am able to accomplish incedible feats. Hawaii said they would never release a long form birth certificate and I got that done. Maybe with the help of a few friends, but I will never admit to that.

    President Barack Obama (81cf34)

  9. Why do they laugh at the mention of my name?

    I won a NOBEL PRIZE! *stamps feet, tears out beard in a rage*

    Paul Krugman (325a59)

  10. Hey where did everybody go? Come on back folks, you know you love me!! Bristol Palin is a ho!! Bristol Palin IS A HO!!!!!

    Kathy Griffin (f1c59f)

  11. All your jokes are belong to us. (Since Aaron is using game-boy nerd-speak today.)

    JVW (eba895)

  12. *whispers gently* Kathyyy…..Kathyyyyy….you know I’m your final destination, don’t you?

    The Z-List (325a59)

  13. JVW is an idiot. He can’t even remember to honor sock-puppet Friday.

    Somebody other than JVW (eba895)

  14. See, I have proven I am able to accomplish incedible feats. Hawaii said they would never release a long form birth certificate and I got that done. Maybe with the help of a few friends, but I will never admit to that.

    For my next trick, I will remove this federally mandated sticker from my mattress…

    Barack (who rockz!!!) (f1c59f)

  15. Z-List: sorry, wrong buddy. Even I know what my true final destination is.

    😉

    Kathy Griffin (f1c59f)

  16. Reports of my being funny have been greatly exaggerated.

    Oh, and screw that thieving Mark Twain. He always steals my best material.

    Bill Maher (3ef32b)

  17. Federal Sticker — thatz a PEACE PRIZE!

    Steven Crowder (325a59)

  18. I know things that you don’t.

    daniel (85b089)

  19. Bill Maher: making Larry Flynt look classy since 1987.

    William Morris Agency (f1c59f)

  20. The Journal of Animal Ethics has requested that animal lovers stop using the term “pet”. In support of this action, we are changing our name from PETA to the Moral & Ethical Animal Treatment Association.

    PETA (a2a019)

  21. Short, ugly, and un-funny …

    Don’t forget me!!!!!

    Paul Krugman (306f5d)

  22. From PETA to MEATA? We likey, we likey!

    Ruth's Chris Inc. (f1c59f)

  23. Short, ugly, and un-funny …

    Me! Me! Me!

    Robert Reich (29e1cd)

  24. Don’t forget me!!!!!

    Comment by Paul Krugman — 4/29/2011 @ 1:45 pm

    Don’t worry, we won’t. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    The teabagging wingnutz, giving Paul Ryan his standing ovation, and you what you deserve (325a59)

  25. Ah who am I kidding. I can’t be funny and even if I could be funny, I couldn’t. Maureen Dowd told me she’d put a Louboutin spike heel through my neck if I ever upstage her.

    Paul "Sad Sack" Krugman (f1c59f)

  26. I thought “pwned” was short for pawned, which would mean “pledge something: to stake or pledge your honor, life, or word on something” in this case as the opposite, thus irony.

    THWLS (4ff715)

  27. “Twat’s the matter with you? Snatch it up and feed the pussy.”

    Bill Maher (848837)

  28. “Thanks for coming on the show, Barack. I know you had more important things to do…”

    Oprah Winfrey (848837)

  29. You mean the Pentagon has FIVE sides? In all my years at the CIA, I never knew that!”

    Leon Panetta (848837)

  30. “Harrumph! If we wanted to, we could build a budget too!”

    Senate Democrats (848837)

  31. “Thanks for coming on the show, Barack. I know you had more important things to do…”

    Comment by Oprah Winfrey — 4/29/2011 @ 2:03 pm

    That is true. I had golfing I wanted to do, a sports game to watch on television and a date night with Michelle. However, I will sacrifice, and deign to accept the accolades of the masses via your television program which, forgive me for pointing out but I must, is not worthy of Myself. Noblesse oblige calls. *sniff*

    President Barack H. Obama, The One (you said so yourself, Oprah) (325a59)

  32. “Im sorry, that record is classified. All virgin births are Top Secret.”

    HI Registrar of Birth Records (848837)

  33. How dare Maher make such bitter remarks. NOBODY out-bitters ME!!!

    David Letterman (f1c59f)

  34. You talkin’ to me, Barack? You talkin’ to ME?

    Donald Trump (848837)

  35. I wanna kick Oprah’s clit.

    DohBiden (15aa57)

  36. And now for my latest Top Ten list, “The Top Ten Ways I, David Letterman, Would Like To See John Boehner’s Children Die!” Ooooo boy!! [lips smacking]

    David Letterman (f1c59f)

  37. Will you teabag me, Aaron? Please? Pretty please?!

    Kman (849328)

  38. What? The little retard deserved it!

    Wonkette (325a59)

  39. Did you hear Palin got cast in an adventure film? She’s The C*nt of Monte Cristo.

    That’s the joke.

    Bill M. (890cbf)

  40. That’s the joke.

    I smell EMMY!!

    Hollywood/New York TV Critics Association (f1c59f)

  41. Has anybody seen my butt around here? My constituents kicked it into the middle of next week at my town meetings last week.

    Paul Ryan (9d1bb3)

  42. Has anybody seen my butt around here? My constituents er, “associates” kicked-ssed it into the middle of next week at my town meetings last week.

    Comment by Paul Ryan Barney Frank — 4/29/2011

    There, nice and fixed. :-)

    The Patterico Truthsquad! (f1c59f)

  43. Was that the same meeting where the WI voters laughed at me when the Democrat plant quoted me?

    Paul Krugman (845308)

  44. The Democrats planted an Air America failure in my audience.

    Allen West (b4fb26)

  45. The Democrats planted an Air America failure in my audience.

    Nope, sorry, Mr. West. It can be scientifically proven that no such thing occurred. Numerous clinical studies from prestigious American universities have proved, wihout a shadow of doubt, that 99.995% of Democrats lack the basic skills required in order to know how to plant; that is, to (1) dig a hole in the ground, (2) insert a seed or seeds, and (3) cover it up again with the same dirt that was dug up. I forget the causation as we read the definitive study quite a while ago, but the reasons have something to do with Democrats having IQs generally lower than the number of times they bathe per year. You’re welcome however for the clarification, Mr. West.

    The Patterico Truthsquad! (f1c59f)

  46. “Democrats having IQs generally lower than the number of times they bathe per year”

    Does this mean Democrats are from France? Like us?

    the Coneheads (81cf34)

  47. Mr. Conehead: something like that, yes. In fact if you look at the pure numbers re: Bathing and Personal Care/Toileting, The Conehead standard of cleanliness is considerably higher than the Democrat standard. Statistics don’t lie. Thanks for your feedback.

    The Patterico Truthsquad! (f1c59f)

  48. Yo, Ryan, I’m a fan but hey, whadda loser… My butt got kicked too but it won’t show up here ’til next week. When I find yours and you can show me a certificate of ownership, I’ll return it, Sunday at 9 on NBC.

    Donald Trump (9d1bb3)

  49. Why is it that the trolls insist Trump is a Republican? Does anyone have a link to Paul Ryan getting his butt kicked? I saw a clip where a bunch of Astroturfed leftist union thugs booed him, but no butt kicking.

    JD (109425)

  50. Cue video of us dancing on the fresh graves of hundreds of racist hilljack AGW deniers killed by the tornadoes in the South. We are a class act.

    Think Progress (0d2ffc)

  51. So what if I rode AF 1 with the WON and his beautiful bride, my daughter. After all, I need to be around to help her get into those ridiculous outfits she seems to prefer.

    Granny Robinson (81cf34)

  52. So what if I was quiet for 13 seconds. I was gathering my thoughts. And I will win. You can’t imagine where we will find the votes. The union workers haven’t got anything else to do but hunt for them.

    Kloppy (81cf34)

  53. All your base are belong to us

    Leeroy Jenkins (c9dcd8)


  54. And now for my latest Top Ten list, “The Top Ten Ways I, David Letterman, Would Like To See John Boehner’s Children Die!” Ooooo boy!! [lips smacking]

    Comment by David Letterman

    Hey, what happened to civil discourse?

    Gabrielle Giffords (c9dcd8)


  55. Hey, what happened to civil discourse?

    I sawed off its head for heresy and mounted it on the fireplace mantle in my cave.

    Osama Bin Laden (c9dcd8)


  56. I sawed off its head for heresy and mounted it on the fireplace mantle in my cave.

    Can we all just get along?

    Rodney King (c9dcd8)


  57. Can we all just get along?

    No. Die, infidel pig!

    Osama Bin Laden (c9dcd8)

  58. Wolcott the Wooly Ocelot tried to compete with us, but he did not have enough bile and hatred in that gargantuan set of fat rolls that make Jabba the Hut look like an anorexic.

    Think Progress (b98cae)

  59. .

    I call on all of you to join the Whirled Health Organization!

    .

    Dervish, Founder of WHO (c9dcd8)

  60. Sarah Palin, here’s my advice to you: Be an AmeriCAN, not an AmeriC*NT!

    See what I did there? You see that?

    I earn every penny.

    Bill "Cinco de" Maher (352bcf)

  61. The President (swoon) is not, I repeat! NOT in over his head! He is submerged in subtlety.

    Dana Milbank (2ec14c)

  62. Oh and by the way…

    Please raise my taxes, Mister President Obama! I can afford it, I got lots more comedy gold where that gold came from!

    Man, you know, sometimes I don’t know what I like saying more: “please raise my taxes,” or “Mister President Obama.”

    (pause)

    If you don’t mind, I’d like to be alone for a few minutes.

    Bill "Cinco de" Maher (af7a3a)

  63. If you don’t mind, I’d like to be alone for a few minutes.

    Comment by Bill “Cinco de” Maher — 4/29/2011 @ 6:54 pm

    Not a chance.

    The twin ghostly spectres of meaninglessness and moral emptiness, gaining on you by the minute (e7daa1)

  64. What? The chillbilly’s spawn deserved it!

    Wonkette (e7daa1)

  65. Um, strictly speaking, “ghostly specters” is redundant.

    William Safire: Masked Language Door Bitch (ac417f)

  66. Why is everybody staying away from my good buddy Jeffrey Epstein? What did he do?

    Bill "I Like Kids" Maher (bf33e9)

  67. Not a thing.

    Roman "I like 13 year olds" Polanski (e7daa1)

  68. Trust me, he’ll do fine,

    Ira Einhorn (79ddc3)


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