Sockpuppet Friday—The Duke Nukem Delayed Forever Edition!
[Guest post by Aaron Worthing; if you have tips, please send them here. Or by Twitter @AaronWorthing.]
As usual, you are positively encouraged to engage in sock puppetry in this thread. The usual rules apply.
Please, be sure to switch back to your regular handle when commenting on other threads. I have made that mistake myself, a lot.
And remember: the worst sin you can commit on this thread is not being funny.
——————————-
And for our Friday frivolity, we have an update on another story we mentioned a bit back. You might remember I posted on the long-delayed video game Duke Nukem Forever, writing:
And of course Gearbox, is stating that this game is coming out on May 3 of this year (source). For those who don’t know, this game has become legendary in the way it has taken for-frickin’-ever to come out. It has literally been in development hell for over twelve years, until the company that originally created it went under.
And even if you don’t care about games, I found the story interesting because of that story of development hell it went through. But I also believed that yes, finally, it would come out.
Well, yesterday we learned that the Duke was being delayed, again. In fact they announced it in a pretty funny video, here:
But one question that has been raised is this. Are they genuinely having a problem? Or is this a planned delay for publicity’s sake? The sheer silliness of the video makes you wonder if they always planned on making it a little delayed, just to get people talking about it.
In which case, mission accomplished!
Hat tip: Gamer4eva.
[Posted and authored by Aaron Worthing.]
You may strike me down, Arianna, but you will only make me stronger.
Andrew Brightbart (e7d72e) — 3/25/2011 @ 11:51 amWhat if they launch it early? That would be even better if the game shows up on shelves a month before expected.
Dustin (c16eca) — 3/25/2011 @ 11:56 amDamn! This Aaron guy is owning this site.
Patterico (2a42d3) — 3/25/2011 @ 11:56 am“Why you do this to me, Dimi? Please, Dimi I’m afraid.”
Moamar Gaddafi (848837) — 3/25/2011 @ 12:06 pm“Tee hee. I stuck this Libyan war thing on NATO, who’s being led by a frikken Canadian. I’m out from under it and can stll vote “Present!”
Barack Obama (848837) — 3/25/2011 @ 12:08 pmHey guys, Meggie Mac, here… You should totally check my super funny satire of Sarah Palin. I imagine a match up between Charlie Sheen and her for President. I am telling you it is still comedy gold to say “winning” so i said it like nine times in my column. And for Palin, well, I have her say stupid stuff, because she is like so stupid, you know?
I am telling all you haters, it is time to stop claiming I got my job because i have big boobs, a famous daddy and a willingness bash Republicans. I am a person of substance, just like my BFF Paris.
Meghan McCain (e7d72e) — 3/25/2011 @ 12:10 pm“Of course this war is unconstitutional. Wait…is this a Republican war or a Democrat one? That changes things y’know.”
VP Joe Biden (848837) — 3/25/2011 @ 12:10 pmHey, I tried, but I was undermined by one of my neighbors who refused to join in on the lockout.
Locked door at the White House (1db6c5) — 3/25/2011 @ 12:11 pmHello? Hello? Can anybody hear me? Is there anybody out there?
Keith Olbermann (848837) — 3/25/2011 @ 12:13 pmDear Meggy Mac…you’re boobs aren’t THAT big. Michael Moore has a bigger rack than you do.
The Boob Master (848837) — 3/25/2011 @ 12:17 pmOh the frackin’ Horrors! Powerline blog has such funny pix of Ear Leader. Imagine pic of the One with a Hitler mustache and the evil Bushitler right beside him? And that link to a conservative and libtard animated video…I don’t care, Obama is AWESOME. There were all sorts of rumors about Clinton. What is the truth about Obama? Did he really have anal sex with other men in Wright’s congregation? Which super-talented talking heads have actually been allowed physical intimacy with Obama?
Calypso Louie Farrakhan (f84281) — 3/25/2011 @ 12:21 pmYou know I’m really feeling kind of screwed right now. Moammar gets to play disc jockey on Libyan State Radio FunTime Hour with the F-16s providing a cool background noise and I’m burning in hell.
Saddam Hussein (a78b16) — 3/25/2011 @ 12:27 pmThey had to delay to include me and my Winningness!
Charlie Sheen (ce0c1b) — 3/25/2011 @ 12:38 pmJack Thompson is an idiot and so is conservapedia for supporting his nanny state butt.
DohBiden (984d23) — 3/25/2011 @ 12:41 pmThe other possibility is that the backlash over their take on “capture the flag” game modes made them re-think things a bit.
In DNF, you grab a busty gal, and there is, apparently, ass-smacking involved.
Very possible they are re-working things to, um, fix that.
Scott Jacobs (d027b8) — 3/25/2011 @ 1:01 pmGood call, Scott. It’s amusing that DNF is falling prey to political correctness. I can say that because I honestly could care less about yet another FPS that won’t measure up to Killzone 3.
Dustin (c16eca) — 3/25/2011 @ 1:04 pmIf Jack Thompson were not disbarred e’d be outraged because no one is spanking him.
DohBiden (984d23) — 3/25/2011 @ 1:06 pmDustin, considering their first main media event for the industry took place in a strip club, and the minor issue over their
Scott Jacobs (d027b8) — 3/25/2011 @ 1:12 pmbooth-babesmodels at PAX East in Boston, they might have decided that this wasn’t the hill they should be dying on.he’d*
They need to stop pandering to the prudes.
DohBiden (984d23) — 3/25/2011 @ 1:16 pmI think they are smart to keep the big picture ‘making money’ in mind. Slapping a girl’s rear end in a video game that is this kind of unserious comedy is no big deal to me, but I know a lot of people will happily raise a huge fuss. It’s sad in a way, but amusing in a way, when someone takes the pose of flouting PC but then relents (even though I agree that’s a smart business move).
Anyway, I was hoping they would launch early for the lulz.
Dustin (c16eca) — 3/25/2011 @ 1:18 pmHey coulda been worse they could have made a video game where someone spanks Helen Thomas.
DohBiden (984d23) — 3/25/2011 @ 1:20 pmHelen bears an uncanny resemblance to those pig alien things that Duke kicks around.
Hell, they even share a mindset.
Dustin (c16eca) — 3/25/2011 @ 1:37 pmI’m takin’ names, guys.
PBHO (ab67fc) — 3/25/2011 @ 1:45 pmNobody steals our chicks…
Amphipolis (e01538) — 3/25/2011 @ 2:44 pm…and lives
Amphipolis (e01538) — 3/25/2011 @ 2:44 pmI am reminded of the Penny Arcade strip on DNF’s features:
[Hey, did you hear there’s a mode in DNF that lets you tap a woman’s bottom?
. . . .
Did you here about that mode in Call of Duty where you like shoot 10,000 people? It’s called “Call of Duty”. ]
Techie (4c48a8) — 3/25/2011 @ 3:10 pm“hear”
Stupid auto correct.
Techie (4c48a8) — 3/25/2011 @ 3:11 pmHey, all you people on the west coast. I’d like to just mention in passing that the RADIATION DETECTORS monitoring air quality MAY NOT BE WORKING.
EPA spokesperson (e80054) — 3/25/2011 @ 3:55 pmDon’t worry, the Japanese government has the radiation under control. We caution you to not eat or drink anyth ing exposed to the air until we say so.
Hey all of you mideast people. Why don’t you like me? Can’t you see I’m on your side?
Obamaman (e80054) — 3/25/2011 @ 3:57 pmHey Obama…
M. Bachmann (e80054) — 3/25/2011 @ 3:59 pm“Anything you can do, I can do better, I can do anything better than you.”
Hey there Meggy Mac. Come over here and let me judge those boobs. Of course I’ll need to feel around a bit.
Slick Willie Clinton (e80054) — 3/25/2011 @ 4:02 pmI will leave my current job.
Ms. Couric (e80054) — 3/25/2011 @ 4:17 pmOk so the show’s TV ratings are in the tank.
They don’t appreciate how much I saved their liberal blog ratings. The left wing bloger’s sites will give me lots of money. After all, it’s all about the dollars I can scam.
Who let Barney Frank in here? I said “How about a waiver, Weiner.” NOT “how about a weiner waver.”
Mayor Bloomberg (5b724e) — 3/25/2011 @ 4:25 pmHere we go with the “kinetic boob action” again!
Kim Kardashian (db5856) — 3/25/2011 @ 4:52 pmDear Jorge Lopez, I would like your kidney served with some Fava Beans and a nice Chianti.
And hurry it up you not very funny comedian can’t you see I’m starving over here?
Kirstie Alley (f060a0) — 3/25/2011 @ 6:35 pmSometimes I sit back and cry. Sometimes I sit back and laugh.
Sometimes I laugh through the tears.
Ronald Reagan's ghost (efea1d) — 3/25/2011 @ 8:22 pmGot my onesie on you loser pussies.. Wrassling with my doll, but i could still could snap you like a twig. But not in Denver, cuz, ummm, I’m busy.
But seriously, the next person who refers to me as a tween with the usual hormonal problems that go along with being a 13 year old girl.. TAKING YOU OUT PUSSIE !!!!111eleventy.
jeffyG (4e9c75) — 3/25/2011 @ 9:21 pmmaybe they should call this mean-spirited sockpuppet friday
happyfeet (ab5779) — 3/25/2011 @ 9:27 pmI dunno… I thought it was funny…
Scott Jacobs (d027b8) — 3/25/2011 @ 11:21 pmIt’s not an act — really!
EricPDubya (b75196) — 3/26/2011 @ 12:35 amIn my case it IS an act . . .
. . . I’m just a really bad actor.
Que Man? (b75196) — 3/26/2011 @ 12:36 amI’m right, you’re wrong.
See ya in 30 days.
JEA (b75196) — 3/26/2011 @ 12:38 amSometimes I’m right, sometimes I’m loopy.
Hear that, Angeleno? I got this side of the street!
squishnevi (b75196) — 3/26/2011 @ 12:40 amStill haven’t retracted my support for mothers that off their newborns.
Step in front of me on the sidewalk if you want to ‘discuss’ it.
nk (b75196) — 3/26/2011 @ 12:42 amNothing succeeds in pissing me off more than success!
harpyfeet (b75196) — 3/26/2011 @ 12:45 amThe restraining order states that you must remain 45 comments away from me at all times!
Grace (b75196) — 3/26/2011 @ 12:47 amEverything bad that I claim about Palin is TRUE!
The magic 8-balled camel told me so.
Fact Finding in the Arabian Sand (b75196) — 3/26/2011 @ 12:49 amAs long as I pretend to be clueless they leave me alone over here.
God, I wish that Yelverton wouldn't leave the lake house in such a mess! (b75196) — 3/26/2011 @ 12:52 amAs I have always said, military action should always be the LAST resort . . .
. . . and this explains why, when I finally took military action, I immediately ran off to a resort.
Ear Leader (b75196) — 3/26/2011 @ 12:57 amThere is nothing hypocritical about my stand on the president’s actions vis-a-vis what I once said about Dubya.
After all, W was NOT light-skinned and articulate. I mean, DAMN, I’m only one of those myself. Geez! Gimme a break already.
Bidin' my time until that double Senate/VP pension kicks in (b75196) — 3/26/2011 @ 1:02 amYeah, well . . . I think we all remember what happened when Sting started letting Stewart Copeland sing some of the songs.
Das Ende.
NATO (b75196) — 3/26/2011 @ 1:06 am“I’m laughing at the ‘superior intellect’.”
Malomar K-Daffy (b75196) — 3/26/2011 @ 1:10 amThe border is safe.
Bring the kids on down. They can play dodge-bullet and human-head soccer.
Secretary of Man-Caused Disasters (b75196) — 3/26/2011 @ 1:13 amThe death of my namesake (the one that eerily resembles me, as well) in that German zoo is NOT a harbinger of my presidential aspirations . . .
. . . it’s a coincidence.
Really.
Promise.
Newt, the North American polar bear (b75196) — 3/26/2011 @ 1:50 amWell, someone’s gotta wear the pantsuit in this dysfunctional D.C, family!
Hillary (she's got the biggest balls of them all) (b75196) — 3/26/2011 @ 1:59 amI ate alot for lunch today.
Godzilla (b75196) — 3/26/2011 @ 2:00 amEar Leader wrote:
We have a winner!
The Dana a day late for sockpuppeting (5a4fb2) — 3/26/2011 @ 8:08 amA couple years back, Wired had a terrific piece on the sad Duke Nukem clusterfark:
http://www.wired.com/magazine/2009/12/fail_duke_nukem/
It’s too bad, because DN3D was such a great multiplayer game. I liked it a lot better than Quake.
Jim Treacher (e041de) — 3/26/2011 @ 9:17 amThat is an awesome link Jim.
I forgot that D3D was considered extremely advanced and ground breaking. That explains a lot about why they couldn’t stop striving with the successor.
Dustin (c16eca) — 3/26/2011 @ 9:27 amPersonally, I like Godzilla’s “I ate alot for lunch today,” but, as I was typing it (whoops! did I just ‘break the fourth wall’?) I was thinkin’ that the ‘alot’ thing had run its course already. Oh well.
Icy Texan (b75196) — 3/26/2011 @ 10:00 amTake the hint, buddy!
Whit House locks (b75196) — 3/26/2011 @ 10:01 amSome heads will roll for locking me out. Racist!
And don’t tell me I can’t post on Saturday. I am the Presentdent, after all.
Barack Hussein Obama (43542d) — 3/26/2011 @ 10:06 am“Whit House”. Geez, my fascia is red!
White House locks (b75196) — 3/26/2011 @ 10:06 amIt isn’t our fault! You see, Clinton ‘gummed up’ the works.
White House locks (b75196) — 3/26/2011 @ 10:08 amAre you insinuating I am a communist with the red comment, locks? Everyone knows I am a socialist.
Barack Hussein Obama (43542d) — 3/26/2011 @ 10:09 amOh, riiight. Like we could keep you from breaking in.
White House locks (the ones remaining from the Millard Fillmore administration, that is) (b75196) — 3/26/2011 @ 10:16 amHow does it feel to be locked out, b*tch?
Hillary (b75196) — 3/26/2011 @ 10:26 amThe only possible explanation is racism.
Jimmy 'the one that completely de-valued the Nobel Peace Prize 7 years before Obama won it' Carter (b75196) — 3/26/2011 @ 10:32 amHey! I expected to be met by a host of angels.
What are all of these dead babies doing here?
Geraldine F. (b75196) — 3/26/2011 @ 10:53 amNailed it! ^^^
JackBobbyTeddy (b75196) — 3/26/2011 @ 11:13 am