Sockpuppet Friday—the Imitation Palin Edition!
[Guest post by Aaron Worthing; if you have tips, please send them here.]
As usual, you are positively encouraged to engage in sock puppetry in this thread. The usual rules apply.
Please, be sure to switch back to your regular handle when commenting on other threads. I have made that mistake myself, a lot.
And remember: the worst sin you can commit on this thread is not being funny.
————–
And for a little frivolity, here’s a Sarah Palin impersonator:
Patti Lyons as Sarah Palin from Barber Gold Management on Vimeo.
Via: The Blaze.
[Posted and authored by Aaron Worthing.]
(singing) Nah, nah, nah-nah… hey, hey, hey… goodbye….
The Egyptian People (e7d72e) — 2/11/2011 @ 11:45 amDing-dong, the witch is dead!
The Egyptian Munchkins (e7d72e) — 2/11/2011 @ 11:45 amPatti Lyons is trying to take my job!
Tina Fey (e7d72e) — 2/11/2011 @ 12:01 pmWe are getting reports that New York has been attacked by terrorists who threaten to detonate another bomb in an unnamed school. But it’s a ruse to facilitate stealing all the gold from the federal reserve bank while getting revenge against a NYPD officer for ‘that thing in LA’.
Leon Getz Panetta (b54cdc) — 2/11/2011 @ 12:05 pmI’m getting a report here that Barbara Streisand is seeking the diamond of pantheos, which will transform her into Mecha Streisand. Reports indicate this is “something to pay attention to”.
Leon Panetta (b54cdc) — 2/11/2011 @ 12:07 pmI’m getting new reports that the late model clearance event has been continued, with great financing offers available on a “significant” inventory of Dodge Trucks.
Leon Panetta (b54cdc) — 2/11/2011 @ 12:09 pmschnnnzzzzp–What?
(takes head out of plate) Boy she was funny. Did you hear the peals of laughter? UhhhhhmmmMe neither.
Democrat at Patti Lyon dinner, rubbing sleep out of my eyes (325a59) — 2/11/2011 @ 12:41 pmWhy’d you keep it so clean, Patti, blast you! She deserves to be savaged for…for…just for being HER!
Andrew Sullivan, still obsessing on the reproductive organs I don't understand (325a59) — 2/11/2011 @ 12:44 pmimho, Andrew Sullivan is like a little boy who goes up to a girl and pushes her down into the mud, because he likes her and can’t deal with that in a mature way.
yeah, not funny or sockpuppety, but that’s what i think. i think he is attracted to her and it is freaking him out.
Aaron Worthing (e7d72e) — 2/11/2011 @ 12:52 pmKman is largely spectacular…er, spectacularly stoooopit…er, something large…oh yeah, @$$hole. That’s it! A largely spectacular @$$hole!
James Clapper (e7577d) — 2/11/2011 @ 12:54 pmAnd leaving the Palin kids out of it wasn’t fair either.
Bill Maher, Kathy Griffin, Sandra Bernhard, and David Letterman (325a59) — 2/11/2011 @ 12:57 pmAndrew Sullivan needs his vajayjay vagazzled. The one he sits on, that is.
Jennifer Love Hewitt (e7577d) — 2/11/2011 @ 12:57 pmAaron, that’s my take on it too.
Though Andrew has a history of being much harsher towards women, I think with Palin he is insecure about his sexuality, much like a closeted jock might be harsher towards a gay man he is secretly attracted to.
This Palin actress looks excellent, but could work on making her act a little more subtle and less repetitive. The problem with Palin is that she should be quite funny to mimic, except people associate a lot of these issues with ugly smears now. She’s trying to be careful of this, but winds up being a bit boring.
Dustin (b54cdc) — 2/11/2011 @ 12:58 pmi think he is attracted to her and it is freaking him out.
Comment by Aaron Worthing — 2/11/2011 @ 12:52 pm
What?!?! Just because I confessed on my blog one day that I dreamt about her in a field of bluebells, when it’s well-known my favorite author is George Orwell and his most famous book’s first big love scene takes place in a field of bluebells???
Andrew Sullivan, in desperate need of some self-awareness (325a59) — 2/11/2011 @ 1:02 pmWe have intelligence indicating that a violent organized crime syndicate with extranational ties is operating in Chicago. Federal agencies are even now preparing to deal with this.
Leon Panetta (4f3ec1) — 2/11/2011 @ 1:13 pmDon’t forget that enclosed garden you made a point of mentioning she was standing in, in your dream.
Freudian psychologists everywhere (325a59) — 2/11/2011 @ 1:13 pmOops, never mind. I just realized that I was watching a commercial on a station that will be showing “The Untouchables” tomorrow. My bad.
Leon Panetta (4f3ec1) — 2/11/2011 @ 1:14 pmWho’s Leon Panetta?
The CIA (3f81c9) — 2/11/2011 @ 1:20 pmTina Fey can kiss my ass!
Patti Lyons (848837) — 2/11/2011 @ 1:20 pmI don’t like that Egypt is getting all the attention. What about me??
President Barack Obama (3f81c9) — 2/11/2011 @ 1:21 pmGood Grief! Just how many vaginas does this woman have?
Andrew Sullivan (848837) — 2/11/2011 @ 1:22 pmWe at the CNN, er, CIA–offer the following news analysis of Egypt.
Leon Panetta (848837) — 2/11/2011 @ 1:23 pmCan anyone help me find Al Gore’s place? He isn’t answering his phone.
Keith Olbermann (848837) — 2/11/2011 @ 1:25 pmThis coochie Patti Lyons is only in it for the money and attention. Next thing you know she will have a reality show in Alaska. She won’t get my vote for president.
happyfeet (3f81c9) — 2/11/2011 @ 1:26 pmand I won’t even tell her where to get the bestest cupcakes ever
happyfeet (3f81c9) — 2/11/2011 @ 1:27 pmEat your vegetables, dammit or I’ll cap yo’ ass!
Michelle Obama (848837) — 2/11/2011 @ 1:28 pmAndrew, Andrew, ya poor fella, bless your tortured heart. You’re bashing your head against the wall all obsessed with me, now what kinda sense does that make?
Now repeat after me: female humans are pregnant for nine months so Tripp proves that Trig is Sarah’s son.
There now – see how simple that was? You betcha! Have a great day Andrew!
Sarah Palin's Uterus (325a59) — 2/11/2011 @ 1:30 pmCan anyone help me find Al Gore’s place? He isn’t answering his phone.
Comment by Keith Olbermann — 2/11/2011 @ 1:25 pm
Tell us about it.
The overdue-bill collectors at Current TV (325a59) — 2/11/2011 @ 1:32 pmfemale humans are pregnant for nine months
Comment by Sarah Palin’s Uterus — 2/11/2011 @ 1:30 pm
So…she’s an alien too! I knew it!
Andrew Sullivan, getting SO CLOSE to the truth now, I just know it (325a59) — 2/11/2011 @ 1:36 pmHoly crap, my butt was kicked so hard, I am in orbit, now.
Kman (e7d72e) — 2/11/2011 @ 1:36 pmAndrew at 29, dude, you are paranoid.
Agent Fox Mulder (e7d72e) — 2/11/2011 @ 1:37 pmI can vouch for Agent Mulder. I’ve received many reports where he shows amazing investigation abilities.
Leon Panetta (b54cdc) — 2/11/2011 @ 1:44 pmYou are Meanie McMeaniepants. I will take my ball and go home, because I have called someone a communist and destroyed your sources with FACTS.
prowlergal (2da347) — 2/11/2011 @ 1:49 pmI heart Aaron.
Blue Light Special (0d2ffc) — 2/11/2011 @ 1:50 pmComment by Agent Fox Mulder — 2/11/2011 @ 1:37 pm
Well look who’s talking.
Agent Dana Scully, rubbing the back of my itchy neck for some reason (325a59) — 2/11/2011 @ 1:51 pmI am pleased that Egypt finally succumbed to my will and will be following my informed and unique leadership. I really heart how great I am.
Barack Obama (2da347) — 2/11/2011 @ 1:53 pmComment by Barack Obama — 2/11/2011 @ 1:53 pm
*jerks thumb* Do you believe this guy? Whatta jerk.
Narcissus, shaking his fine head of hair (325a59) — 2/11/2011 @ 1:59 pmPeople saying I’m for sale are wrong.
I’m for rent too.
Clarence Thomas (0692b1) — 2/11/2011 @ 2:03 pmYou people are just jealous because I can make my gray hair turn black anytime I want, without dye. Along with all the other magnificant wonders I can perform.
Barack Obama (3f81c9) — 2/11/2011 @ 2:05 pmSorry to interrupt here, but has anyone seen my shirt?
Chris Lee (4f3ec1) — 2/11/2011 @ 2:07 pmWhy buy Bawney Fwank’s butt when the @$$milk is fwee?
Jim Ready (e7577d) — 2/11/2011 @ 2:07 pmYour shirt isn’t the only thing you lost, Chris.
John Boehner (3f81c9) — 2/11/2011 @ 2:09 pmHas anyone seen my teef…nevermind, Jimmy likes it better wiwout wem? Jimmy calls it giving him an Elmer Fudd!
Bawney Fwank (e7577d) — 2/11/2011 @ 2:11 pmBarney, can you say eschew?
[Video added by Aaron]
James Clapper (e7577d) — 2/11/2011 @ 2:17 pmNice touch, AW!
James Clapper (e7577d) — 2/11/2011 @ 2:24 pmDEAR LEON STOP
YOU PLAYED IT PERFECTLY STOP
AFTER YOU SAID I’D BE OUT THURSDAY INSTEAD OF FRIDAY, I MADE BOOK ON FRIDAY STOP
TODAY, COLLECTED STOP
SHALL SEND CUT FROM HOTEL CONCIERGE SOONEST STOP
ISHALLAH
HOSNI (890cbf) — 2/11/2011 @ 2:32 pmEND MESSAGE
Hey guys, my fifteen minutes aren’t up, oh, yes they are.
sheriif dupnik (c8ccf1) — 2/11/2011 @ 3:26 pmYou people are just jealous because I can make my gray hair turn black anytime I want, without dye. Along with all the other magnificant wonders I can perform.
Comment by Barack Obama — 2/11/2011 @ 2:05 pm
Uh yeah, Mr. President…while you’re regulating the ocean’s tides and all, could you find a minute to keep your wife from screaming at us all day long?
the beleagured White House kitchen and housekeeping staff (543e77) — 2/11/2011 @ 3:30 pm*switches to folksy voice* C’mon guys, I healed like eight planets, already.
President Barack H. Obama, Healer of Planets and Reinstator of Universal Peace, trying hard not to sound terrified (543e77) — 2/11/2011 @ 3:33 pmBrett who?
Green Bay Packers fans (a2a019) — 2/11/2011 @ 3:34 pmSarah Palin is even dummer than my father was.
Ron Jr. (a2a019) — 2/11/2011 @ 3:38 pmTrust me, Ron, badmouthing your parents, after one has passed is a great career strategy.
christopher buckley (c8ccf1) — 2/11/2011 @ 3:51 pmHey it is not a big deal… I was just showing off my manly chest to some gal. You would think I was trolling for gays like barney boy…
Rep Lee (e80054) — 2/11/2011 @ 4:06 pmYo, Obamaboy, he who bows to the Saudis, you think I’d care what you want? I’ll leave when I’m damn well ready…
The Prez of Egypt (e80054) — 2/11/2011 @ 4:09 pmThank you kids at AOL..
Ka Kningh!
Aidrannia H (e80054) — 2/11/2011 @ 4:14 pmRep. Lee,
Get your own shtick. The towel, mirror, bathroom thing? Mine.
Old Spice Guy (890cbf) — 2/11/2011 @ 4:14 pmYou’re all on your own when it comes to Michelle. She is the one thing I can’t control.
Barack Obama (3f81c9) — 2/11/2011 @ 4:16 pmTwo can play at the lawsuit game Holder. Time to get off your collective butts and enforce the Fed laws here is Az.
Gov Brewer (e80054) — 2/11/2011 @ 4:19 pmI’m outta here guys. Send your gold to my foreign bank account in the Jersey Island. The swiss have sold me out…
Mubarak of Egypt (0cd6a2) — 2/11/2011 @ 4:29 pmToday is all about the people of Egypt, which is why I am giving a speech about how great I am.
Barack Obama (2da347) — 2/11/2011 @ 4:46 pmYOU PEOPLE ARE RUDE AND DO NOT RECOGNIZE MY GREATNESS SO I WILL COMPLAIN RUDELY ABOUT YOU BEING RUDE. SOCIALISTS.
prowler (0d2ffc) — 2/11/2011 @ 4:50 pmprowler – I have lurked on this blog for many moons. I demand concrete proof of your greatness. NOW!
howlerguy (479a30) — 2/11/2011 @ 4:56 pmI never find it hard to find a gift for someone. Some combination of mix tapes of my speeches and pictures of me are suitable for anybody, any occasion. If a loved one died, I’ve even got a frowny face picture and a special mix tape (just the highlights: the gipper frees the Egyptians, the gipper frees the Iraqis, the gipper brings health care to the American people, the gipper identifies Bush as the source of all that’s bad in the world). And if it’s a happy occasion I have video of me dancing (no, I’m not a professional but who can tell?) and me pouring a beer over Gibbs head while everyone laughs (that never fails to crack up Axelrod), except Gibbsy who looks annoyed until I remind him who hired him.
BO (19f566) — 2/11/2011 @ 5:04 pmYou can’t possibly be greater than I am, prowler. So don’t even pretend with your ALL-CAPS.
Barack O. (3f81c9) — 2/11/2011 @ 5:04 pmListen, beyotches, it’s my birthday, so y’all have to be nice to me, or I’ll gut you like a dead moose.
Sarah Palin (132cf8) — 2/11/2011 @ 5:28 pmThe President is giving a speech? Shoot, they never told me that this was a rush job!
The teleprompter repairman (132cf8) — 2/11/2011 @ 5:30 pmDon’t worry, Hosni, you really can go home again
Jean-Claude Duvalier (132cf8) — 2/11/2011 @ 5:32 pmReally? Hasn’t worked for me!
Jean-Bertrand Aristide (132cf8) — 2/11/2011 @ 5:34 pmPutting this here because there’s no other obvious place to put it.
Dustin and DRJ may already know about it.
ivenhsik (827a72) — 2/11/2011 @ 6:46 pmNow that’s over with, can someone explain to me exactly how I’m supposed to puppetsock?
ivenhsik (827a72) — 2/11/2011 @ 6:47 pmThat is funny, kishnevi. Great link.
JD (d4bbf1) — 2/11/2011 @ 6:51 pmTrust me, Hosni, they won’t go after you when you resign,
augusto pinochet (c8ccf1) — 2/11/2011 @ 6:52 pmI’m The Gipper, bitches.
Barack Obama (081489) — 2/11/2011 @ 7:04 pmOh, I beg ta differ.
Governor Sarah Palin (543e77) — 2/11/2011 @ 7:05 pmPutting this here because there’s no other obvious place to put it.
Dustin and DRJ may already know about it.
Comment by ivenhsik — 2/11/2011 @ 6:46 pm
Backpfeifengesicht, one of Germany's underappreciated contributions to American political discourse (543e77) — 2/11/2011 @ 7:17 pmOh, this is the perfect place to allude to me. As a word, I admit with all due modesty to being pretty serviceable, and I apply to a surprising number of people right here on this thread.
Dear Miss Manners:
I’ve been working for a very highly placed US official, let’s call him “BO,” for the last few years. I work overtime every day with not much salary. He makes me lie, doesn’t give me the info I need to do my job right, and when I first went to work for him even took one of my ties away to use for himself.
Well today he returned it as my going-away gift, framed with a picture of himself, while giving a big speech about himself. I did say thank you at the occasion. Is a handwritten thank-you note required also? No names, please – he knows a lot of people.
Gibbering GIbbon in DC (543e77) — 2/11/2011 @ 8:34 pmYeah, tell me about it,
rafael videla (c8ccf1) — 2/11/2011 @ 8:37 pmGentle Gibbering Gibbon,
Congratulations on your retirement. Normally Miss Manners would refer you to the principle that one cannot be too polite, and a handwritten note would be required.
However, the tie being your own in the first place, and your employer being besides a narcissistic a**hole who talks about himself at a time at which he is supposed to be honoring you, one may in this instance not only forgo the additional thank-you note, but congratulate yourself on holding your tongue so well at the actual event. Best of luck in your future endeavors.
Miss Manners (543e77) — 2/11/2011 @ 8:42 pmI hadn’t seen that story, kish, and it’s truly ironic. And to the resident Miss Manners: Excellent.
DRJ (fdd243) — 2/11/2011 @ 8:55 pmLet’s see, Tina, Sarah & Patti…I want to arrange a group thing with these smart, smart ladies. Funny they look alike to me.
kim jong ill (d38466) — 2/11/2011 @ 9:10 pmHey Gibbon, I guess $174,000 isn’t enough money to have to work a little overtime? When are you going to get a real job?
US Postal Worker (a26e4b) — 2/12/2011 @ 6:16 amthere once was a man called Barack
Holden_McGroyne (0e3ddd) — 2/12/2011 @ 6:31 amwho many thought a sh*t sack
brought the U.S. to ruin
the peeps asked “what you doin?!?!”
“we like our prez to inspire, not smoke crack”
the director of national intelligence
Holden_McGroyne (0e3ddd) — 2/12/2011 @ 6:47 amfor many months had made no sense
his advice fit for the crapper
capone caught syphilis, obama the Clapper
and james’s career’s in the past tense
I really did it for the chicks
R.E.Lee (472e73) — 2/12/2011 @ 6:53 amIs this the Palin thread?
EricPWJohnson (472e73) — 2/12/2011 @ 6:54 am‘cuz I really hate her. Sorry, I don’t have any new material.
EricPWJohnson (d4bbf1) — 2/12/2011 @ 6:57 amthere was a young lass from Wasilla
Holden_McGroyne (0e3ddd) — 2/12/2011 @ 7:33 amwho found the spotlight a thrillah
she seemed omnipresent
voted Queen of the Peasants
a veritable 800 lb. gorilla
It is as thought the world needed Barack Obama for freedom to come to Egypt. They are going to need to change the face on the Sphinx, or build a new pyramid.
Crissy Tingle (d4bbf1) — 2/12/2011 @ 7:36 amIf the magnificent Barack Obama had not given such a powerful speech in Cairo, freedom would have never come to Egypt. His leadership in the Middle East brought about this fundamental change. They should consider renaming the Nile.
Wolfie Blitzer (d4bbf1) — 2/12/2011 @ 7:38 amformer governor of arkansas Huckabee
Holden_McGroyne (0e3ddd) — 2/12/2011 @ 7:45 amall thistles and thorns his family tree
claim to fame lost 100 pounds
all the gravitas of Huckleberry Hound
he may fool all the Baptists, he ain’t foolin’ me
You guys should all pay attention to Wolf Blitzer. I know he may not look the part, but the man’s a genius.
Alex Trebek (543e77) — 2/12/2011 @ 7:58 amanother opportunity for mellifluous Obama
Holden_McGroyne (0e3ddd) — 2/12/2011 @ 7:59 amin Egypt the continuing drama
“one of those moments, one of those times”
“The people of Egypt have spoken”
yes they have, so stfu, Obama
at long last, the Egyptian people have been cut loose
Holden_McGroyne (0e3ddd) — 2/12/2011 @ 8:06 amit appears Mubarak has escaped the noose
chrissie matthews all tingly, let Wolfie be Wolfie
but eat sh*t and die, Keith Uberdouche
“People yearning for freedom”, hey Egypt, wazzup?
Holden_McGroyne (0e3ddd) — 2/12/2011 @ 8:18 amBarack preens and proclaims “drink of freedom’s cup”
“create new opportunity… jobs…
Muslims, Christians, we are one”
every trite phrase under the Sun
I’m telling you friends, you can’t make this sh*t up
On this day we get to pretend,
P.P. Grabber (b78311) — 2/12/2011 @ 8:35 amWe know not what this will portend,
A prolific puppet of sock,
Who admits he grabs his own c*ck,
Wrote seven ditties For The Win!
grabber of pp, a poet of some renown
Holden_McGroyne (0e3ddd) — 2/12/2011 @ 8:55 amour onanism, I fear, makes us look the clown
left the Colonel a-bitchin’
when my feet got a-twitchin’
and my heavy throbber’s itchin’
just to lay a solid rhythm down
Wolf Blitzer is a douchebag. I don’t know how he got to where he is, other than he was embarrassed on air by thinking jet fumes were chemical weapons, and freaking out, and (understandably) putting his gas mask on.
Chris Hooten (24973f) — 2/13/2011 @ 11:04 amI am ordering govt. motors to build electric snowmobiles for people like sarah palin.
obama (b89258) — 2/13/2011 @ 5:29 pm