Patterico's Pontifications

12/3/2010

Sockpuppet Friday—The “Bristol Pwns Olbermann” Edition!!!

Filed under: General — Aaron Worthing @ 11:10 am

[Guest post by Aaron Worthing; if you have tips, please send them here.]

As usual, you are positively encouraged to engage in sock puppetry in this thread.  The usual rules apply.

Please, be sure to switch back to your regular handle when commenting on other threads.  I have made that mistake myself, alot.

And remember: the worst sin you can commit on this thread is not being funny.

[Posted and authored by Aaron Worthing.]

78 Comments

  1. I think I was just cornholed by Bristol Palin!

    Comment by Keef Oldermann (e7d72e) — 12/3/2010 @ 11:12 am

  2. I diddle cats and bugger goats. And I eat my boogers.

    Comment by William Yelverton (0d2ffc) — 12/3/2010 @ 11:17 am

  3. Uh, that was me.

    Comment by Hillary (a18ddc) — 12/3/2010 @ 11:20 am

  4. In response to #1, that is.

    James, I’ll up the ante and give BHO both of mine. Then we’ll each have two.

    Comment by Hillary (a18ddc) — 12/3/2010 @ 11:21 am

  5. Hillary, don’t start stealin’ mah jokes.

    Comment by James "Snakehead" Carville (26be8b) — 12/3/2010 @ 11:28 am

  6. You do know I’m not really a word, right?

    Comment by ALOT, who gets mistaken for "A LOT" quite a lot by the lot of you (325a59) — 12/3/2010 @ 11:30 am

  7. Well, I am a word.

    Comment by Refudiate (e7d72e) — 12/3/2010 @ 11:45 am

  8. And you better not try to refudiate that.

    Comment by Sarah Palin (9d1bb3) — 12/3/2010 @ 11:47 am

  9. Hey! Yelverton dug up a post of ME drinkin’ and called that DWTS-crashing beyotch a slut instead.

    Is this a great country or what?! You can get people to call the Palins names over like totally EVERYthing!

    Comment by Levi Johnston's sis (325a59) — 12/3/2010 @ 11:47 am

  10. Hey, Keith. Didn’t I say the kids are off limits?

    Comment by Jon Stewart (9d1bb3) — 12/3/2010 @ 11:52 am

  11. My third cousin twice removed lives with a spinster whose great granfather was an alcoholic with a gambling problem, which proves that willie yelverton is unfit to care for a pet rock, and is a bad person.

    Comment by yelverton's kitteh (0d2ffc) — 12/3/2010 @ 11:54 am

  12. Keith wishes he had two hot chicks wanting him at the same time. He should be good looking like me.

    Comment by Pete Orzag (9d1bb3) — 12/3/2010 @ 11:54 am

  13. Using a ghostwriter? How amateur can you get?

    Comment by JFK's editor (cac12c) — 12/3/2010 @ 12:04 pm

  14. Sorry about confusing Bristol Palin and a person she is not related to by blood or marriage. To me all white people look alike.

    Comment by Perez Shilton (e7d72e) — 12/3/2010 @ 12:09 pm

  15. If I had Sarah’s looks and my smarts, I would be president now.

    Comment by Hillary Rodham Clinton (9d1bb3) — 12/3/2010 @ 12:11 pm

  16. Can you believe this hypocritical politician? He wrote that all men were created equal and yet owned slaves.

    He should have been consistent and written that n—-rs have no rights. And Bristol Palin should tell teenagers to have sex and use protection.

    Comment by ajb (e7d72e) — 12/3/2010 @ 12:28 pm

  17. I thought I had the Palin Vagina Micron Telescope (TM) perfected, but, ajb, I bow to your pwnzrness.

    (btwwouldyoulikemetodoanythingelseforyouwhilei’mdownhere?)

    Comment by Andrew Sullivan (325a59) — 12/3/2010 @ 12:47 pm

  18. I can’t touch Israel, which has Jewish-only roads in the West Bank. No American would tolerate that — white-only roads.

    Oh wait… did I just conflate Zionist with Judaism? Oops. I guess that means I’m the hateful nutcase the Zionist Illuminati said I was.

    Comment by Helen Thomas (b54cdc) — 12/3/2010 @ 12:52 pm

  19. Hey Jon Stewart. Didn’t I say islamofascist lunatics shouldn’t be at a rally to restore sanity?

    Comment by Salmon Rustdie (e7d72e) — 12/3/2010 @ 12:54 pm

  20. And after I finish as Secretary of State, I’m getting a divorce from slick willie, taking 2/3rds of his ill gotten gains and finding me a cabanna boy in the islands.

    Comment by HRC, soon to be HR (0cd6a2) — 12/3/2010 @ 12:57 pm

  21. Hi Karzai, thought I’d call you on the phone since I was in the area.

    Comment by Obamaman (0cd6a2) — 12/3/2010 @ 1:00 pm

  22. Hilldawg would be 99% more effective as a politician if she dumped Bill. As it stands, she has no self respect. She seems too hungry for power.

    You gotta occasionally act against your political needs, if the personal issue is powerful enough, or people think you’re a weirdo like Hillary.

    I’m not convinced Obama’s worse than Hillary as President. They are both extremely weird people.

    Comment by Judgey but Right (b54cdc) — 12/3/2010 @ 1:02 pm

  23. Hey Joe, I’m going to visit our hard working American troops. Do me a favor and announce the new jobs report.

    Comment by Obamaman (0cd6a2) — 12/3/2010 @ 1:03 pm

  24. How can anyone say the unemployment rate is 9.8% now? I dare them to prove it.

    Comment by B. Obama (9d1bb3) — 12/3/2010 @ 1:08 pm

  25. Look Barak buddy, face it. Nancy and Harry really mucked things up for you. You guys could have fixed the tax issue back in February. Now you can’t do anything without the support of the poor hapless minority party you smacked around with Obamacare. So bend over, grab your ankles and say: “Thank you sir, may I please have another?”

    Comment by Soon to be Speaker Mr. B (0cd6a2) — 12/3/2010 @ 1:09 pm

  26. Deer Mr Old man Olbermannup
    Deer Sir: Can you use more stuff about Bristol Palin? I can make up stuff reall good.

    Comment by Levi Johnston (848837) — 12/3/2010 @ 1:12 pm

  27. Afghan peace now up for auction. $25 Million, 25 million, do I hear 30 million? Thirty million, now 35 million. The lady (Hillary, is that you, honey?) on the left-do I hear 40 million? $40 million, now 40 million, going once…

    Comment by Hamid Karzai (848837) — 12/3/2010 @ 1:17 pm

  28. Dear Mr. Boehner: When you take over, can I come by and fondle your gavel? It’s so big and firm!

    Comment by Nancy Pelosi (848837) — 12/3/2010 @ 1:22 pm

  29. Ok, so you called me down to the well of the house and gave me the licken’. Big f’en deal. What I am really upset about is having to pay for more back years’ taxes. Hell, the IRS let me off with just 5 years as the statute of limitations had run. Just because I’ve been the head minority/majority huncho on the tax writing committee shouldn’t make a difference.

    Comment by Charlie R. from NYC (0cd6a2) — 12/3/2010 @ 1:23 pm

  30. I will introduce a Senate Resolution making Charlie Crist my official bitch.

    Comment by Marco Rubio (848837) — 12/3/2010 @ 1:25 pm

  31. After I play with my squeak hole, I always lick my finger.

    Comment by ajb (eb5afc) — 12/3/2010 @ 1:28 pm

  32. Come on over here, Nancy and bend over. I’ll be happy to show you how big and firm it is as I am sure you enjoyed sleeping with it.

    Comment by Mr. Boehner (0cd6a2) — 12/3/2010 @ 1:29 pm

  33. Thanks Mr. Boehner for that mental image. We might never be able to achieve an erection again.

    Comment by All the Men in America (e7d72e) — 12/3/2010 @ 1:32 pm

  34. You don’t need the image of Boehner and Pelosi — just think of me.

    Comment by Helen Thomas (69b3db) — 12/3/2010 @ 1:35 pm

  35. To: Nancy, Harry, E. Robinson of WAPO, moveon.org and etc.

    Look you twits, you lost! It’s what I get for listening to you and letting you guys muck up the health care stuff. Now the bastard Republicans have me boxed in a corner. If I don’t give them everything they want now, I will have to in January. Letting taxes go to pre-Bush means 10% unemployment in Jan. 2011 which means goodbye Democrat in the White House. Y’all didn’t learn crap in 1993…..

    Comment by Barak O. (0cd6a2) — 12/3/2010 @ 1:43 pm

  36. We will not play the Koyto game any more. It will cost us too much money. Korea and China are zipping by us.

    Comment by Japan's Cancun rep. (0cd6a2) — 12/3/2010 @ 1:48 pm

  37. “These goggles, they do nothin”

    Comment by rainer wolfcastle (9d0688) — 12/3/2010 @ 1:48 pm

  38. You know I am a blue dog at heart. I would really get ahold of this deficit… if I could just get this bucket off of my head.

    Comment by Barky Obama (e7d72e) — 12/3/2010 @ 1:50 pm

  39. All Men in America:

    I was referring to the stupid gavel she was carrying to the Obamacare vote. Do you think for a moment I’d let her touch my junk?

    Comment by Mr. Boehner (0cd6a2) — 12/3/2010 @ 1:51 pm

  40. My darling bride wrote:

    If I had Sarah’s looks and my smarts, I would be president now.

    If you had Sarah’s looks, I wouldn’t have been seeing Monica.

    Comment by Bill Clinton. (3e4784) — 12/3/2010 @ 1:54 pm

  41. I’d touch your junk anytime you ask Mr. B.

    Comment by Barney F. of the House (0cd6a2) — 12/3/2010 @ 2:03 pm

  42. Hey there! No one touches anybody’s junk but me or my minons!

    Comment by Big Sis of HLS (0cd6a2) — 12/3/2010 @ 2:05 pm

  43. Yo Billy C., fist bump there buddy!

    Comment by Barak O (0cd6a2) — 12/3/2010 @ 2:06 pm

  44. Now that Nikki is Governor, are my 15 minutes up?

    Comment by Will Folks (9d1bb3) — 12/3/2010 @ 2:24 pm

  45. Obviously you are all fascists applying a double standard in protecting only Bristol Palin. Where was the conservative outrage when righty pundits mocked Chelsea Clinton? I understand Glenn Greenwald has an incisive article on this very point in recent days.

    Comment by Ellers (890cbf) — 12/3/2010 @ 3:17 pm

  46. Obviously you are all fascists applying a double standard in protecting only Bristol Palin. Where was the conservative outrage when righty pundits mocked Chelsea Clinton? I understand Glenn Greenwald has an incisive article on this very point in recent days.

    Comment by Ellers

    Ellers is right. Greenwald is THE man.

    Comment by Thomas Ellison (890cbf) — 12/3/2010 @ 3:19 pm

  47. Ellers is right. Greenwald is THE man.

    Comment by Thomas Ellison

    True dat, dog.

    Comment by Ryan Wilson (890cbf) — 12/3/2010 @ 3:20 pm

  48. “Take it from me, Glenn is always right, guard”

    Comment by matt hale (9d0688) — 12/3/2010 @ 3:24 pm

  49. Visit warm, sunny Brazil this winter and escape the American chill! We have room in shooting and non-shooting hotels.

    Comment by Green Glennwald (890cbf) — 12/3/2010 @ 3:25 pm

  50. Olbermann is just Michael Moore in a suit, full of pretensions to intelligence without the brains to back them up.

    Smart liberals like Glenn Greenwald don’t get TV shows — although he does have a New York Times bestseller, plus an instantly successful blog that’s read by many members of Congress and that’s the basis of many a front-page newspaper story.

    Comment by Rick Ellensburg (890cbf) — 12/3/2010 @ 3:35 pm

  51. Hey, did you see our wonderful ad?

    Comment by Every down-on-his-or-her-luck celebrity alive (b8e056) — 12/3/2010 @ 5:02 pm

  52. Comment by Every down-on-his-or-her-luck celebrity alive — 12/3/2010 @ 5:02 pm

    Well, I used to bite the heads off bats on stage but now I’ll settle for Julian Assange’s toes.

    Comment by Meat Loaf, the Other 80s White Meat (325a59) — 12/3/2010 @ 5:22 pm

  53. Uhhh, Loaf, that was me what bit the head off a bat!

    Comment by Ozzy Osborne (bd7e62) — 12/3/2010 @ 6:48 pm

  54. Comment by Ozzy Osborne — 12/3/2010 @ 6:48 pm

    My bad, dude, my bad. Memories get a little fuzzy sometimes when you’ve been through all the things I have. Knowmsayin?

    Comment by Meat Loaf, who really did get hit in the head with a shot put (72db9b) — 12/3/2010 @ 6:55 pm

  55. That’s all right, dude! We know that you ain’t been alrights ever since you filmed Rocky Horror.

    Comment by Frank N Furter (bd7e62) — 12/3/2010 @ 7:05 pm

  56. Damn it, Janet, I really had the hots for that Columbia chick.

    Comment by Brad Majors (bd7e62) — 12/3/2010 @ 7:07 pm

  57. ha ha I didn’t get banned

    Comment by Dustin (b54cdc) — 12/3/2010 @ 7:46 pm

  58. I do not promise to play nice. I have hard edges. Actually, if William Yelverton would promise to be honest, and epwj would promise to take his meds, I would certainly be nicer ;-)

    Comment by JD (6e25b4) — 12/3/2010 @ 7:52 pm

  59. Yea, go ahead and change the name of the blog, you’ve banned just about everybody else, so ban yourself too!! (And, BTW, JD says to condemn your self first.)

    Comment by Obama/Palin2012 Committee (cac12c) — 12/3/2010 @ 7:59 pm

  60. Sweet. I’ve been yearning to support Mike Castle and Lindsey Graham, but nothing gets me going like Barack Obama.

    Comment by Dustin ♥'s ☻bama (b54cdc) — 12/3/2010 @ 8:08 pm

  61. Does it, or does it not, state that sock puppetry must be funny?

    Comment by Rules Committee (b98cae) — 12/3/2010 @ 8:10 pm

  62. Wait, is that Palin a mistake?

    You forget: she endorsed Mccain because she is a blessed RINO.

    Comment by Dustin ♥'s ☻bama (b54cdc) — 12/3/2010 @ 8:12 pm

  63. http://vimeo.com/17057322

    For you, Aaron.

    Comment by Dustin ♥'s ☻bama (b54cdc) — 12/3/2010 @ 8:19 pm

  64. Eric is the President of our club.

    Comment by He Man Palin Haters Club (b98cae) — 12/3/2010 @ 8:22 pm

  65. Wait, is that Palin a mistake? Was thinking more like Obama/Wright. Don’t know. Just a thought.. No offence..
    Comment by Patterico

    Nothing you believe is true. The cry will arise for a true bipartisan approach to govt. In fact, it ought to be the Obama-Palin 2012 Committee. Each of them can spend 1/2 of the year golfing, hunting caribou, hunting caribou with golf clubs, snowmobiling on Hawaiian beaches, just as long as they don’t argue on whose turn it is to be in DC.- and they won’t because they’ll play a best out of 6 one on one up to 12 by ones for who gets first pick.

    When Palin is in the WH there’ll be no sign of that whatever it is that passes as a dog, rather a Alaskan wolf/Siberian Huskey mix will be top-dog. It is not only trained to sniff out bombs, it can sniff out leaders to harbor bomb-makers in their country. And Todd Palin, with dog at side, will hold the press briefings.

    Comment by Obama/Palin2012 Committee (cac12c) — 12/3/2010 @ 8:40 pm

  66. @Dustin
    Really disappointing clip. Where is the beef?

    It’s the best I got!

    Girl has a blog where she notes her intention was to act out your #comment 73, though. It just didn’t work out. I’m just a simple democrat shill trying to make my way in the tubes here… cut me some slack or I’ll send Karl Rove to undermine your aspirations and kick at least 2 puppies.

    Comment by Dustin ♥'s ☻bama (b54cdc) — 12/3/2010 @ 8:41 pm

  67. You really ought to try to be funny, epwj.

    Comment by JD (306f5d) — 12/3/2010 @ 8:44 pm

  68. hunting caribou with golf clubs

    they’ll play a best out of 6 one on one up to 12 by ones for who gets first pick

    Come on, JD. That’s got a laugh right?

    I guess I should admit I am easy to please.

    Comment by Dustin ♥'s ☻bama (b54cdc) — 12/3/2010 @ 8:46 pm

  69. that best out of 6 was a typo, BTW

    The socks are not necessarily the puppets of who you think they are, and it’s all GWB’s fault.

    Comment by Obama/Palin2012 Committee (cac12c) — 12/3/2010 @ 8:49 pm

  70. I deleted about 20 of these for not being funny. Someone went manic pretending to be me and several others and saying I had banned people and such. I moderated said manic person. This is not a sock puppet comment.

    Comment by Patterico (c218bd) — 12/4/2010 @ 11:26 am

  71. The unfunny sock was Yelverton aka Tman aka Pam aka W aka ajb etc.

    Comment by Patterico (ae6941) — 12/4/2010 @ 1:17 pm

  72. It was really showing his ass yesterday, Patterico.

    Comment by JD (109425) — 12/4/2010 @ 1:48 pm

  73. > This is not a sock puppet comment.

    Or so you say!

    Btw, this is not a suck puppet comment either.

    Or is it?

    Comment by Aaron Worthing (b8e056) — 12/4/2010 @ 3:36 pm

  74. ok, this is a late post, but a guy has to say what he has to say…

    Yo Harry! What the hell were you thinking with the senate vote? Now I’m really in the box. Might as well make the Bush rates, alt min tax and estate tax fixes permanent.

    Comment by Barak O (0cd6a2) — 12/4/2010 @ 3:50 pm

  75. Thank you Sir may I please have another?

    Comment by Barak O (0cd6a2) — 12/4/2010 @ 3:53 pm

  76. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/12/03/AR2010120304485.html?nav=rss_opinion/columns

    In defending Ronald Reagan against a Palin putdown of the former president as “an actor,” Peggy Noonan wrote in the Wall Street Journal: “The point is not ‘He was a great man and you are a nincompoop,’ though that is true.”

    Comment by Palination (2925ff) — 12/4/2010 @ 4:20 pm

  77. Thought on sock puppet Fridays, rules don’t apply..? Shocka!

    Comment by The Emperor (f40c50) — 12/5/2010 @ 6:46 pm

  78. $100,000 to anyone who knows Assange’s whereabouts.

    Comment by Russian mafia (e8af2b) — 12/5/2010 @ 8:41 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post.

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.


Powered by WordPress.

Page loaded in: 0.3372 secs.