A Roman Holiday
There is a pointed set of anti-Polanski barbs in this cleverly written piece that imagines a game show with a leering host who sets up 76-year-old Roman Polanski with underage girls:
HOST: Its Blind Date: Roman Holiday edition! The show where we take Roman Polanski and a 13-year-old girl who he’s never met – and see if they click! I’m your host, Skip Sparkle! Lets meet our first contestant.
(SCREEN TITLES SAY MARY McDONALD, 13)
HOST: Say hello to Mary McDonald. She’s 13 years old, she loves James Blunt, and she likes to spend time at the petting zoo! She hopes to meet a guy with his learner’s permit and who will sneak her into R-rated movies. Naughty girl. Here to watch the date with us is her best friend, Collette! How do you think Mary will do, Collette?
COLLETTE: I can’t believe she likes boys. I don’t like boys.
HOST: Ooh. On blind date we’re always up for a little girl-on-girl action!
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